


Harry Potter and the Grocery Run

by StruggleMuggle



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2020-12-31 20:40:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 96,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21151883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StruggleMuggle/pseuds/StruggleMuggle
Summary: Even after the Battle of Hogwarts and burying the dead, people still need to buy groceries. It's amazing what can happen while you're shopping. Rated M for Sex, Language, Adult Themes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** The usual - I don't own any of the characters or world setting for Harry Potter, J. does, and I don't make any money writing this. Thank you JKR for letting us play in your sandbox.

* * *

Harry Potter and the Grocery Run

Chapter 1

"Oh shoot. I'd hoped Fortescue's would be open again." Hermione's voiced was laced with brightness, like sunshine had been turned into ribbon that she had carefully sewn overtop of the sadness and pain. Harry noticed, and knew that she had stolen that sunshine and made that ribbon just for him. She didn't want him to be sad anymore. Didn't want him to blame himself for the deaths of his friends. He tried to rise for her, tried to respond in kind, but his voice failed him and only dripped bitterness.

"I wonder if he'll ever be back." He said. He tried to smile, but only succeeded in tightening his lips in lieu.

She was wearing her rose-colored denim jacket, her favourite, over a fleece jumper and her most comfortable pair of jeans. Harry couldn't help but notice how well she filled them. Ever since that night in the tent... No. He wouldn't go there. She didn't want him that way, and that was her choice.

She took her hands from her pockets and took his hand in hers as they walked. He knew her smile was forced - could see it in her eyes. That just made the fact that she faked it just for him all the sweeter.

"I guess we'll have to wait before I can buy you a celebratory ice cream."

That brought a single ray of light into his gloom. She was always like that. Always there, always helpful, always brilliant. If anyone could pull him back to reality...

"It's just as well. I need real groceries. Meat, fruit, veg. I'll settle for sharing a small tub with you after dinner?"

"That sounds like a lovely compromise, Mister Potter."

"Mint Chocolate Chip, of course."

She actually laughed at that. A real, honest-to-magic laugh. It was like finding a rainbow at midnight.

"You know me so well, Harry."

Of course he did. How could he not? Seven years side by side, through laughter and tears, triumph and death. As if summoned by the thought, the faces flashed through his mind again. Fred. Remus. Tonks. Colin. Lavender. He tried not to let it show, but she knew. Of course she knew. He took a deep breath and tried to shove it all down again. She didn't need to see him wallowing after making the trip just to get him out of that dustbin of a house. He tried to smile at her again, but he could see in her eyes that she could see he was full of shit. Still, he did his best.

"Looks like Flourish and Blotts is still open. Fancy a book?" Even to his own ears it sounded like he was glossing over it. Like ice over a deep river at the beginning of spring. You could skate on it, but it moved and crackled and you knew you shouldn't be there.

"Well..." The set of her mouth told him she knew what he was doing, and would allow it for his sake. "Maybe just one..." She flashed that same tightening of her lips that he had tried to pass off as a smile. She was worried for him, but tried not to show him she was. Best friend anyone could ever want.

"Come on then, my tre-" Something set the hairs on the back of his neck on end.

His eyes were suddenly everywhere, searching, seeking... finding.

The sudden increase in pressure on his hand let him know she'd noticed and she too was scanning everything. It was too late though. It was a ragged, sneering man who looked late forties - which meant he could have been eighty as a wizard.

"Say goodbye to the mudblood whore, _Potter_." The sneer belched. His toady little eyes filled with sadistic glee. "_Desperandum Admortem_!"

He reached for his wand, but there was no time. He knew there was no time. Hermione had her wand out already, but she was facing the wrong way. She hadn't seen him. She couldn't see the horrid, bruise-purple energy that flashed toward her.

He took a step. A simple step. Right foot forward about a meter. Pivot the hips. Look her in the eyes one last time.

She spun to face him, eyes locked onto his, and he smiled then, a real smile. He could feel it warming his face as the violent hatred washed over his back. The pain of it buckled his knees, and he began to fall, and her face stretched in abject terror as she saw him drift toward the street. Her eyes snapped into the distance behind him, and she didn't even cast. She screamed in rage with her wand pointed, and he could hear utter destruction follow. He must have hit the street at some point, but he kept falling, falling into a deep hole as darkness closed in around him.

* * *

She studied his face again, searching for any clue, any hint, the slightest movement, but found nothing. He was quiet. Still. Too still. She turned back to the book in her lap - one of twelve in stacks on the floor around her chair - she'd been through nearly a hundred of them in the last four weeks, but had learned nothing that could help. Nothing about any dark purple spells or coma spells or anything. She'd even take any kind of hint as to why he had _smiled_. She saw his face again as he fell, the calm, peaceful smile she knew was just for her. He had saved her again. He always saved her. He'd been doing it since they met, since she was a frightened and lonely girl on a strange train to a new world.

She wiped her eyes again as the whirlwind inside her neared too close to the surface and forced water from her eyes. The handkerchief stayed in her hand at this point, there was no telling when she would need to dry her face.

The door opened and Ron walked in. She was a little relieved to see him taking some kind of interest in Harry's welfare, but she was also miffed at him, it was the first time he'd shown up in the last four weeks.

"Come on, 'Mione. Let's go."

No 'How is he', no 'how are you', just hey, move it.

"Go where?" She snipped. As if there was anywhere else she should be.

"There's a decent pub just down the way, I fancy dinner and a pint."

"And I should just leave because you fancy dinner and a pint."

"He'll be there when you get back. Coma patients don't go flitting about, do they?"

She wasn't sure if it was his callous disregard or his patronizing tone that pissed her off more. She turned to look at him, disgust and incredulity warring on her features.

"You _do_ know that's your _best friend_ lying in a coma _right there_, don't you?"

"You _do_ know you're meant to be _my_ girlfriend, don't you?"

"What does that have to do with -"

"Oh _please_, 'Mione, don't give me that! You've been here _four fucking weeks_! I guess it just doesn't matter that I had dates planned, does it? Once again the _Great Harry Potter_ just decides to take all the attention for himself! Doesn't matter what Ron wants, does it? You're meant to be _my_ girl, 'Mione! What about _me_?"

She looked up at him, utterly gobsmacked. What about him? _What about him?!_

"What about me?" She asked him. Her voice was low and smooth and dangerous.

"Oh now you'll get all defensive and say I was being a git for wanting to go to dinner with you, like it's a terrible thing."

"It's a terrible, _horrible, selfish_ thing! You insensitive prick!" She growled.

His eyes went flat and his ears started to redden and he stuck his hands in his jacket pockets. "Fine." He said.

"That's meant to be _me_ lying there, Ron. _Me_ in that coma. Harry - _your best friend_ \- is lying there unresponsive because he stepped in front of a curse meant for _me_. He deliberately sacrificed himself for me, and you want me to abandon him because _you fancy dinner and alcohol_."

She found her hand on her wand. She hadn't intentionally put it there. She forced her hand away from it, and took a deep breath as she stood, trying to calm the ocean of rage that was threatening to boil over into the real world.

"You know Ron, come to think of it, I don't think I've ever heard anything come out of your mouth that wasn't 'what about me' in some fashion. I suppose I should have known better than to think one brief glimmer of hope during the last battle was the beginning of something, when the entirety of your history has been something else. I suppose that's my bad judgement. Thankfully, I can rectify that oversight. Go to the pub, Ron. Go have dinner and a pint. Have several pints, since we both know you're going to anyway. When you're finished with that, why don't you fuck off entirely and never come back. Don't come around anymore, don't call me girlfriend anymore, and especially don't ever call me 'Mione again! I fucking HATE that! You fucking PRICK!" The rage washed through her and forced water from her eyes again. She wiped her face with the handkerchief again.

"Fine. Hope you're happy together. The bookworm and her stiff. Lame duck probably jumped at the chance for a coma just for some peace and quiet from you!" He wrenched the door open and disappeared down the hall, but whispered "Fucking nightmare." as he left.

She collapsed into her chair again, sobbing.

Why? He was just like the little kids at Primary school, trying to hurt her with words because they couldn't do it any other way. What in Magic's name did she ever see in him? He never deserved her, she could see that now. Just as she never deserved Harry. Deep down, she knew she'd only ever settled for Ron because he was the next best thing. Because she knew she didn't deserve harry, no matter how much she wanted him.

She kept the handkerchief rumpled in her hand as she picked up the book and began again where she left off. She'd go through as many books as it took to find something that helped. Anything that helped. She had to at least let him know. Let him know and then accept the consequences, be it a laugh and a "Good one, Hermione!" or even if he never wanted to see her again. She could live with that if he knew. It would hurt, but she could live with it.

* * *

It started with the train. Somehow he was back on the train, sitting quietly by himself in too much space, hoping against hope to meet some nice people, and absolutely terrified of it. What if Uncle Vernon was right? What if even among wizards and witches he was a freak? Every person who walked by the compartment made him jump in anticipation and fear, equal parts excited and scared.

"Excuse me, have you seen a toad? A boy named Neville has lost his." Her hair was bushy and filled the volume around her beautiful little face, so serious, so earnest. It was her helping people face. He knew that face all too well.

"Nevermind." She said then. "I can see you're clearly unfit to be here. You should go to the back of the train with the other freaks, so no-one thinks you're a regular person. Imagine trying to fit in as though you were normal. I mean, _really_." She glared down her nose at him, scathing scorn dripping from her every nuance, every syllable. She closed the door again and huffed, then walked away, leaving him alone.

"But... we're friends..." He said to the door. "That isn't how..."

There was a terrible noise then, of crashing and breaking, and he instinctively shielded his head with his arms. Water sprayed on him, soaking through his robes and making the floor slippery. It was the bathroom. He was in the bathroom again. The troll swung its club at him and shattered the stalls in front of him after he ducked it. His heart pounded in his chest, adrenaline flooded his veins. He tried to pull his wand out, but bits of sink and plaster and water all over everything made the footing too treacherous, and he went down on his backside. The troll noticed, and raised its club for an overhand swing.

"Hey you!" She called. Hermione stood by the door, next to Ron. Ron had an amazed look on his face as he stared at the troll about to kill him. Hermione, on the other hand, blasted the troll with several hexes immediately, followed by a _WinGARDium LeviOsa_. The troll's club slipped from its grip as it brought it's hand down toward Harry, and a foul wind of rank body odour hit him instead of the small uprooted tree. The club then hit the troll in the head, and it crashed to the floor next to him.

"Why'd you bother, babe? Honestly, he's a nightmare. It's no wonder he's got no friends." Ron chided. Hermione looked at Harry, into his eyes, and laughed. She took Ron's arm and left Harry alone in the cold, water-covered girl's bathroom.

"Don't leave..." Harry said softly. "Please..." He reached out to the space she had been, and touched something cold and metal. He blinked, thinking that was a little odd, and saw the dirty old key with a broken wing in his hand. Instantly, the other keys focused on him and swarmed like angry hornets. He tossed the key to Hermione, who caught it and unlocked the door.

"Quick!" She said, ushering him inside. Harry ducked inside the door and closed it behind them just as a hundred tiny thumps jarred the door from the other side.

"That's my Harry!" Hermione grinned and crushed him to her, and he couldn't help but be relieved and happy. She felt _so good_. She smelled _so good_. "Well done." She stepped back and nodded to him. "Now, let's see what's next."

She took his hand, beaming happily as she did, and he started to relax inside. The warm sense of _rightness_ he had lived with so long he couldn't remember what living was like without it flooded through him.

"_Avada Kedavra_!" Quirrel screamed, and Hermione dropped to the floor. He dropped to his knees and smoothed her hair away from her face. Her beautiful, rich warm eyes simply stared. There was no Hermione in them anymore.

"No! NO! NO!" He screamed. Tears washed out his vision, and he couldn't even reach for his wand. He struck out, lashing out with every ounce of strength his tiny body had, but Quirrell only laughed and gripped him around the neck with a fleshless hand of bleached bones.

* * *

It was such a tiny thing. So small and subtle that if she hadn't been looking directly at him, _watching_ him, she wouldn't have seen it.

He seemed to sigh gently, and his face went somehow even more slack. A cold hand gripped her guts and crept up through her chest as she waited for him to take another breath. And waited. And waited.

The lights in the room went red. Alarms sounded.

She kicked her books away from the bed and pushed her chair back out of the way of the healers she knew would be coming, but she wasn't paying any attention to her actions. Her world was focused on Harry's chest and the fact that it wasn't rising.

The door slammed open to admit several witches and wizards, all in the warm, clean green robes of St. Mungo's. They all immediately began casting diagnostics and running scrolls of runes filled the air over the bed in several colours.

"Physicals are still green." One said in the clipped fashion of one who was concentrating on a task.

"Core erratic, possible destabilization in progress." Said another the same way.

"Reinforce core integrity, keep a running count of actual magic level." The witch in charge was s heavyset woman with a head of blonde hair that was more white than blonde and tucked into a neat bun at the nape of her neck. Hermione couldn't see her face, the head medwitch's back was to her while she worked on Harry.

"Core depleted. Reserves at sixty percent and falling."

Hermione put her hand over her mouth to avoid sobbing and distracting them. She was losing him. Harry James Potter was slipping away and there wasn't anything she could do about it. Years of suffering and sacrifice, months of running and hiding and evading. Everything they had done was just drifting away, and only four healers stood beside him when he had saved every magical life in Britain. His thanks was an unnoticed death. Another name on a list. She couldn't tell if her tears were more grief at losing him, fear at being impotent to stop it, or rage at it being allowed to happen.

"Fifty percent." The healer's voice rose in pitch.

"Administer three tears."

"We can't, chief. He has tears in his system already. Basilisk venom too."

"Shit. Set up bezoar infusion."

Two of the healers went into action. One pulled a bag of dirty brown liquid from the cart they had wheeled in with them, the other took a rune-covered bit of parchment from the cart and applied it to Harry's arm in the crook of his elbow. Another bit of rune-covered parchment went onto the bag of liquid. At a tap of the wand, there was a tiny flash from the bits of parchment.

"Depletion slowing. Forty-seven percent."

"Save him. Please save him." Hermione whispered through the tears.

"What's the core integrity like?" The chief medwitch asked.

"Holding at level three."

"Depletion at forty-five percent and holding."

"Alright, start pushing, slowly."

All four of the healers assumed a soft glow around them as they funneled magic directly into Harry. Seconds turned into minutes, stretching on and on and on. Hermione paced near the door, quivering like a wire under too much tension.

Harry's chest rose. The soft sibilance of air being sucked into his lungs was the sweetest sound she had ever heard.

She began sobbing again, and didn't care that her legs failed to keep her upright. "Thank you. Thank you." She repeated over and over even after the healers had left the room again. She went to his side when she could stand again and kissed him. She kissed his forehead, his cheeks, his eyes, and his lips. "Don't you ever do that again, Harry, you hear me? Don't you ever leave me again."

She sat back in her chair and held his hand to her forehead as she concentrated on just breathing. The pain in her chest radiated all the way through her, into her fingers and toes. The thought of losing him physically hurt enough to make Lestrange's cruciatus seem like a tickling hex. The pain only increased as she held him. His hands were so strong, so capable. He had callus on his palms and fingers from quidditch and holding a wand constantly, and his fingers were so thick compared to hers, so... she kissed his hand again. She had to find some way to keep him alive, to bring him back. There had to be some way to keep even a piece of him, any kind of...

There was one thing she could do.

It was crazy. It was _highly_ illegal. It was for Harry, so that was irrelevant. Would it work though? She thought through the logistics of it, and decided she needed more information. If it was a possibility, she would also need to modify the detection charms and alarms on him, so that needed research too.

She stood and kissed the palm of his hand, then laid it over his chest.

"Don't you dare go anywhere while I'm gone, Harry. Don't you dare. I'll be back as soon as I can." She kissed his forehead again and picked up her bag. The hospital staff didn't even notice her leaving.

* * *

It hurt to see her like that.

She was cold, smooth, and completely still. It had taken Madam Pomfrey minutes to convince him she wasn't dead, just petrified, but he still cried while stroking her hair after Pomfrey left. He sat next to her, hoping she could hear him so she would know he was there, but at the same time hoping she couldn't hear him as he told her the terrible things that had been done to him. He felt so weak, so helpless as he recounted it all. Some of it made him cry tears of rage, some of it made him cry tears of vulnerable pain, but some part of him knew that it was safe with her. Even if it did make him afraid of telling her in the first place.

He didn't know how long he sat there talking and touching her arm occasionally, but it must have been a long time. He knew it was after dinner because Ron showed up. Ron didn't say anything, he just pushed in front of Harry and lifted Hermione's robes, trying to peek down her shirt. Harry stood and shoved Ron into the wall and away from her.

"What the hell Ron?!" He shouted.

"Get lost, freak!" Ron shouted back. "I'm a pureblood and I can have whatever I want! My Mummy said so! I'm gonna take everything you have!"

Hermione's stone face moved. Her eyes grated open and looked at him.

"I love you, Harry." She said.

Ron's face went red and he raised his arm. Before Harry could do anything, he brought a hammer down on Hermione's head and she shattered into gravel.

"NO!" Harry screamed.

Ron laughed. "Ha ha! You should see your face! Why so glum, chum? Guess I'll go find a real witch!" He walked out of the hospital wing, still laughing.

Harry began trying to piece her back together as tears made it impossible.

His tears began to freeze to his face and he recognized the unnatural cold. He looked around quickly, and spotted Hermione on the other side of the lake, lying on the shore with Dementors swooping around like skeletal fishing birds. Sirius tried bravely to fend them off, but his patronus was weak and faltered. A Dementor swooped past him and his face blurred as it pulled at his very essence.

Harry pulled his wand out and reached for his happy memory, but instead of her smile, instead of the feeling of her softness nestled against him as she read a book, he found her empty eyes, her slack, motionless face. Gravel.

A Dementor hovered over her. Her back arched as it sucked her life away. He was failing her. she was dying and it was his fault. The Dementor swallowed the blue-white spark that came from her mouth and she collapsed back to the ground, tensionless. Her head tilted and her empty eyes looked through him again.

"NO!" He screamed, "NO! NO! NO! NO!" He beat the ground with his fist as punctuation, and collapsed into sobs, the pain in his chest threatened to consume him.

* * *

The research said it was possible, so that was the premise under which she operated. She took a few nights to study the charms on Harry, learning them inside and out so that she could fool them into giving a false signal while she... Magic's sake, was she really doing this?

She knew she could loop the charms and have them report what she wanted - what she needed them to - and that left waiting for the right time. The healer on Night Rounds always looked in at 2 am, so she would have to pretend to be asleep until he or she left. That would leave her about three hours.

She looked at the clock on her cell, and it read eleven twenty-eight. She would have preferred to do months more research and know the situation inside and out before acting, but time was of the essence. Nobody knew how long Harry had left or whether he would live or die at all, so it had to be now. He would not pass from this world, not completely. She would not allow it.

She reviewed the charms she'd learned for tonight - the detections on Harry, the one-way privacy shell, and the... the ones for her. The potion was in her bag - that had been a real joy to acquire. The old witch's shop in Knockturn had been just wonderful, much like the old witch herself. She was certain she'd paid too much for it, but denying any personal information to such a witch was worth the extra expense.

She took a few deep breaths to calm herself, then picked up the latest book and dove back into trying to find a cure while she waited for two o'clock.

The Night Rounds healer was a witch that night, maybe mid-thirties. She came into the room quietly, checked the detection charms on harry, noted her findings in his chart, and quietly left again. Hermione was leaned forward, head on her arms and clutching Harry's hand during the visit. As soon as the medwitch left, Hermione sat up and took more deep breaths. She cast _Silencio_ on the door and the bed, then checked the hallway. It was empty. She closed the door again and hit it with four different locking spells, and then the one-way privacy shell.

She pulled the potion from her bag and quaffed the fluffy-tasting pink concoction in one pull. Her stomach spasmed, and she felt a hot _need_ settle in her lower abdomen. She pulled her jeans off and set them carefully on the back of her chair, followed by her knickers on the seat of the chair. It was strange being half-naked while technically in public, but for some reason what would normally be anxiety and embarrassment was only anticipation. She took a few more bracing breaths, then altered the detection charms on Harry. She waited a few seconds to see if anything happened, but apparently she'd done it correctly. No alarms sounded, no reaction of any kind. In retrospect she noted it would probably have been a better idea to loop the charms _before_ exposing her crotch to the world. Too late now.

She pulled Harry's sheet down to his knees, and her pulse raced. She paused for another couple of deep breaths, then lifted the hem of his gown. His legs were hard, defined muscle with a sparse coating of thick black hair. She'd seen him in his underwear by accident a few times while they were in the tent, and had always liked the look of his legs. She pulled the gown up to his taut stomach and lay it there. She had seen male sex organs before on the internet and in books, but the real thing staring at her from less than a foot away was a completely different experience. Her pulse raced again, and a heat rose into her cheeks that had nothing to do with temperature.

She looked up at his face, half-expecting him to be awake and looking at her, but there was no change. Gingerly she reached out and wrapped her fingers around his cock - most of what she had seen on the internet had described it as a cock. Nowhere except medical journals did she see it described as a penis. She had known it was called a penis since she was six, but she had to admit she had never thought of it as such. After she discovered the pleasurable feelings between her own legs when she was twelve, she had just always thought of it as a cock. It seemed somehow naughtier and made touching herself more intense. She was unprepared for how one felt in her hand.

"So _soft_..." She whispered. The velvety smoothness of the skin on it entranced her, and before she realized what she was doing, she had brushed it across her cheek. The feeling of it sent shivers down her spine. She noticed the scent then as well. It smelled like Harry, like the quintessential Harry she had been smelling since she noticed it in third year, but _more_. There was something else in that smell, in the background of it that stoked the burning in her belly and made her sex tingle. To her surprise and delight, Harry seemed to be growing thicker and longer in her hand. She ran her other hand through the tangle of black hair that surrounded it, then stroked the smooth skin up and down. How many times had she masturbated to this? He'd been awake in her fantasies, of course, and her fantasies couldn't have shown her his cock even in her imagination, because she'd never seen it, but now... This would definitely fuel future nights.

It was big enough to wrap her hand around but still sort of soft and rubbery, but a nice size. She looked at his face again, but still his eyes were closed, his face slack. She stroked it a little harder, and pulled the skin back from the tip. It was round and full, and the super-smooth skin over the tip glistened as it swelled. Curious, she took the tip in her mouth. Even to her tongue the skin was incredibly smooth, and the taste was unlike anything. Like licking Harry's neck after Quidditch, slightly salty, but with an indefinable tang in the background. She slid her mouth down him, taking as much of him in her mouth as she could, unable to get enough of it. A soft moan sounded in the back of her throat as she felt him continue to swell and harden in her mouth. She slid her mouth up and down him a few more times and felt a pulsing in her nethers as she did. She knew that feeling, and it was a prelude to shutting her curtains with silence and privacy spells.

She took her mouth off him and marveled at the size of him. It was one thing to know the numbers for what was average and above average, but an entirely different thing to see it - to feel it. His cock was hard now, like gripping a broom handle wrapped in silk - if they made broom handles you could barely get your fingers around. It was the size of her bloody forearm! A small, detached part of her brain knew that she stretched some, and still asked if it was going to fit. The rest of her had already climbed onto the bed and hovered her opening over his erection. She brushed his tip through her slit and shivered at the sensation. She was wetter than she'd ever been, and briefly hoped it was enough as she lowered herself onto him. She sank as far as she could and groaned at the beautiful _fullness_. She knew it would hurt. All the books said it would hurt. The medical texts said a part of her would _tear_, so she knew it would hurt. She hadn't counted on the fire in her belly _not caring_ that it would hurt. A few quick breaths was all the time she could spare for preparing herself, then her need demanded that she _drop_.

It hurt. It definitely hurt. She could feel _ripping_ in her most tender of places, but oh, the feeling that came when he was deep inside her. It was like masturbating when you were already sore. Yes, there was unpleasantness, but it was rolled together with such want, such need, such pleasure, that the pain only enhanced the experience. She grunted loudly, deep in her chest as her behind came to rest on Harry's legs. Her eyes scrunched shut and her hands made claws as they gripped the taut skin across his stomach muscles.

"Unnhh _fffuuuuck_..." She groaned. She could feel him in her stomach, deep inside her. She could feel the heat from his cock radiating warmth through her, and it raised her eyebrows and put her tongue behind her teeth in a tiny smile. Her hands went to her stomach and she could feel him in there. She sighed with the culmination of her fantasy - well, one of them - and opened her eyes again. Harry hadn't moved or changed in the slightest. She leaned forward to put her hands on his chest, and that simple movement moved him inside her and sent waves of pleasure through her whole body. The unexpected intensity of it caused another moan to escape. She shifted her hips again, thoroughly absorbed by the unbelievable feelings emanating from their union. Her mind all but shut down then, abandoned to the raw, fundamental power happening inside her. She shifted her hips, dragged them forward across Harry's lower abdomen, than slammed them backward, impaling herself on him again. Over and over she repeated the motion, and she could feel a hot pressure building inside her. It was like when she knew she was close to finishing, but so much bigger, so much more encompassing. All at once the pressure broke, and the universe went white.

When reality intruded again, she was curled into a ball on Harry's chest, still impaled on his thick length. The top of her head had lifted off, and she could feel the air directly on her brain. The fire in her stomach still burned, and the simple act of sitting up, of pushing herself off his chest sparked another buildup of pressure. She rode him helplessly, slave to the pleasure that demanded of her. The universe went white again in short order, and again once reality returned she continued her quest.

She began to worry that what she was doing wasn't working, and became slowly aware that beneath her grunts of pleasure there were words.

"Please Harry. Give it to me Harry. Please Harry. Give it to me please."

She felt the buildup again rising, rising toward her pleasure threshold, but then something changed. She felt him pulsating inside her, felt the jets of hot liquid splashing against her insides. The unexpected pleasure of it combined with the knowledge of what it was send shockwaves through her and lifted the top of her head off again. She came back to reality lying on his chest again, and the sheer enormity of the love she felt for him forced tears from her eyes.

"I love you, Harry." She told him as she kissed him. "I love you. I've always loved you. I will always love you."

She wanted him to open his eyes and tell her he loved her too. She wanted it more than anything. Then she wanted to fall asleep right where she was, feeling and smelling him and waking up on top of him. Her chest was tight with the need for it, but he did not wake up, he did not open his eyes, he didn't move.

She sighed and wiped her eyes before swinging her leg over him and climbing off him and the bed. She cleaned him up so the healers wouldn't notice anything amiss, then pulled his gown down again, and re-covered him with the bedsheet, then fixed the detection charms. She cleaned herself up before putting her knickers and jeans back on, then curled up in the plush chair, arms wrapped around her stomach and its precious cargo.

All that was left to do was wait and see if she needed to repeat her actions tomorrow.

* * *

"Kill the spare." The voice hissed.

NO! NOT AGAIN! Harry thought, and shoved Hermione out of the way. He felt the sickly green energy hit him in the back as he protected her. He felt himself hit the stone floor, and saw feet pointed at his face. He jumped back to his feet, but Luna's eyes were haunted, dead inside. She merely stared straight ahead and didn't acknowledge him at all. They were in a stone room with one door.

"No, not here. Not again. Please." Harry whispered.

Two large men in black hoods entered their cell and closed the door, both focused directly on him. Harry tried to back away, but they weren't giving him any room to move. One of them backhanded Luna to the floor, and Harry dove toward her, but the other one was too quick. He caught Harry's ankle, and the one who'd struck Luna grabbed a handful of his hair and hauled him to his feet. They switched their grips to having one of his arms in each of theirs, and they dragged him out the door and up the stairs to the large stone room where Hermione lay on the floor with Bellatrix kneeling over her.

"Get off her!" He shouted.

"Oooo, does Bella's little slave have a boyfriend then?" Lestrange cackled. Hermione stood and pulled out a wand with her right hand. Her left arm was bleeding, dripping a trail on the floor as she approached. Her arm read 'Bella's Slave'.

Hermione pointed the wand at him, and he felt himself ripped away from his captors and thrown mercilessly to the floor, hard enough to make stars dance in his eyes. Stabs in his chest told him he'd broken ribs. He was flipped onto his back, and lost all control of his limbs.

"Little boyflies, all stuck to the floor." Hermione giggled. "Will you rise to the occasion?" She cackled like Lestrange.

"Hermione, we have to get out of here! Let's go!" He pleaded.

She dropped her weight squarely on his crotch, her knees squeezed his sides. "_We have to get out of here, let's gooooo!"_ She mimicked him in a whiney voice. "I've got a better idea, lover." She ground her crotch against his, and he had the natural reaction despite how badly he wanted not to.

"Hermione please, we have to go!" He begged.

"_Hermione, please!"_ She cackled again.

Her face went from sadistic glee to frightened then, and her normal voice said "Harry? Is that you? You have to get out, Harry, I can't hold her for long."

"Hermione!" He shouted. "Fight it! Fight her! Get us out of here!"

"Harry, I-" Her face twisted back to sadistic glee.

"_Fight it! Fight her! Get us out of here!"_ She mocked. "You can't go anywhere unless I say so, fuckstick. I finally coaxed that cunt to the surface, and I have you to thank, loverboy. Now you can watch me kill her." She grinned in his face, and her eyes were madness and rage.

"No Hermione, no! Run! get away! Get safe!" He warned.

"Harry?" She asked, frightened again. "Harry, she's closing in, I can't... I can't..."

"That's right! You can't! I WIN, BITCH!" She screamed with a triumphant grin while looking down at him, and rammed her wand into her right eye. Blood sprayed all over his face and into his mouth as he screamed.

Hermione fell onto his chest and didn't move.

* * *

The research had told her it would happen, but knowing you're going to throw up once a day or more for weeks and actually having to do it were two horrifyingly different things. She'd done the research, both on what to expect and how to minimize it. Luckily for her as well, she was a witch and had access to potions that negated the negatives. She had also researched the glamour charms necessary for hiding her bloated midsection when she became big enough to show, but she didn't have to use them just yet.

The end result was that she sat in the hospital next to Harry, working her way through a library's worth of books. She knew the exact date of conception, so she knew how much time she had left before she would be too pregnant to move around. She knew she had to get somewhere safe before then, as she couldn't just suddenly appear in public with a baby. In magical Britain, that was a scarlet letter and there was no way back from it. She would be ostracized, she would never get a decent job, and very likely she would be forced to leave. As it happened, that was what she was planning in any case. She still had yet to find her parents and un-obliviate them. There would be a hell of a lot of anger from them. They would feel betrayed and manipulated, but once she explained and told them that she'd done it for their safety and that it had worked, they'd be able to talk it out. It would take time, but she was sure they'd be able to understand. If she showed up very pregnant as well, she knew for a fact her mother would never turn away the opportunity to spend time with a baby.

She was six weeks along already, and according to the schedule she had written out that left her approximately thirty weeks to either find a cure for Harry or wait for him wake up on his own. After that, it was international portkey time. That was assuming her pregnancy adhered to standard gestation times. Not all of them did. She really hoped hers did, she had so much to do. In fact, it might be better to move the date back to 28 weeks just for a wider margin of error. She didn't want to be walking around looking for her parents and have her water break in the street.

She put the bookmark in the book and set it on the stack next to her chair and went to stand beside Harry. She rested her forehead on his and wished for the umpteenth time that he would just open his eyes and look at her. She ran her fingers through his hair and breathed him in, then kissed him again and stood up straight, stretching. One thing she had noticed besides the fact that some smells made her queasy now was that Harry seemed to have the opposite effect. Even when she came into the room already queasy from something outside, just smelling him made her stomach settle immediately.

There was a tightness just below her bellybutton as she stretched, and it brought a smile to her face. She put her hands over it protectively.

"I hope you can smell your daddy too. I want him to wake up and be with us, but if he doesn't, we may not get much more than remembering his smell. You can rest assured I'm doing all I can though. I want him with us more than anything."

The alarm on her cellphone rang then, just a double beep to let her know it was time to eat something. She had made a list of all the healthiest things to eat when pregnant and made a schedule of five small meals per day of only those things. Sometimes she really just wanted a bacon sandwich, but there was no chance of that for another thirty-two weeks at least. She took a small tub of Greek yogurt out of her bag and mixed fresh strawberries, blackberries, and peanuts into it, then sat back in her chair to eat.

* * *

The unthinkably potent shields continually wore away before breaking into a fine shimmering mist. To the left, a screaming horde ran after Neville across the bridge before being swallowed by the canyon as the bridge detonated. Harry felt a stab of pain for the loss of Neville. He was a good man. A true friend. A hero.

Hermione grabbed his hand as they raced through the castle toward the third floor girls' toilet. They had to get a basilisk fang in order to destroy the cup. They reached the bathroom, but as he spoke the parseltongue password, Hermione was ripped from his grasp.

"Harry!" She screamed, but it was too late. A pack of werewolves had her in their teeth and her clothing shredded just before she was torn apart and eaten. Her empty eyes stared at him briefly before the werewolf drinking the blood from her throat carried her head off into the hall.

"NO!" He screamed as he ran after it.

He ran into the courtyard where Voldemort was addressing the school in his overly-loud whisper. Some of the students were covering their ears against it, but he and Hermione didn't have time for that. They ran down the ruined stairs, jumping over the parts that had crumbled. A squad of death eaters with Tom at the front had made their way to the very steps of the castle, and neither he nor Hermione were inclined to allow them further. Harry opened with a barrage of cutting curses, and was delighted to see several death eaters fall, one without his head.

"Harry!" Hermione screamed. She was dangling in mid-air, her wand on the ground as the orange curse hit her and she screamed and screamed with her limbs jerking in ways they were never meant to. Her left foot exploded and she screamed. Her right foot exploded and she screamed.

Harry screamed and flooded the death eaters with _Bombarda_s, but they just wouldn't go down.

Hermione's right arm exploded and she screamed. Her left arm exploded and she screamed. Her left knee. Her right knee. Harry tried to throw himself into the path of the oncoming curses, but she was too high up. Her torso dropped to the ground like a sack of grain as her face came to rest on his shoe.

Harry screamed and fired death from the end of his wand, but the giants were just too resistant. His magic wasn't having any effect.

"Harry! Achilles tendon! Bombarda! Both together!" Hermione called out to him. He nodded, and raised his wand.

"_Bombarda maxima!_" He yelled as Hermione did the same from fifty feet away.

The giant's tendon snapped with the sound of a shotgun, and it bellowed thunder as it fell.

"Hermione! Run! This way fast!" He yelled at her, but Hermione stood transfixed as the giant fell directly toward her.

"RUUUUNNN!" He yelled. He ran as fast as he could, but he wasn't getting any closer to her. She turned her head to look at him as the shadow fell on her. She reached her hand out toward him, and then she was gone, replaced by the side of a giant.

Harry screamed and fired at the giant over and over, but he had to take cover. He was too vulnerable out in the open. The dragons swooped low over the castle, breathing flame over the defenders.

"Harry! get down!" Hermione fired curses at an upward angle, and he knew there had to be a dragon bearing down on them. He ran with his head down until he could take her hand, then they both ran toward the doors. Other students were fighting death eaters in the courtyard, and there was no way through .

"Hermione! I'll cover you, run along the side wall and get to safety!" He shouted over the battle noise.

She nodded, and ran flat out with her wand in hand, firing curses as she went. Harry fired at the death eaters as well, but it was to no avail. A dragon landed on the courtyard wall and breathed fire directly at her. He watched the flames consume her beautiful hair and clothes, and her skin blackened before bursting into flame itself. She turned to look at him with empty, charred eyesockets before the dragon grabbed her in its claw, bit her in half and chewed.

* * *

She ran her hands over her invisible bump again absently, marveling at the life growing inside her, then cursed herself for doing it. She couldn't be caught doing that, she needed to stop. She looked over at Harry again, with another silent wish for him to come back to her. Not for the first time, she considered coming back to Britain once she was settled in Australia and stealing him. The care would be at least as good there, and she found she couldn't bear the thought of not having him near her, even in a coma. Only twenty-two weeks left.

She scritched her nails through his beard, scratching his face gently because she'd read that beards generally itched their owners. She kissed him again, and sat back down. The current book was "Darkeste Darkenesse: Werste of Spelles", and seemed to be a historian's account of the magics used in various battles from the ninth century until the fourteenth. She curled her legs under her and went back to reading, only to sit bolt upright three paragraphs later.

She _found_ it!

"There are spelles of suche unfaylinge wyckednisse so as to be considred allways faytal, and chife amoungste these are The Killinge Curse, and Dispayre Unto Deathe, whiche is the specialte of the Selwyn Grimoire. The Killinge Curse is well-nown, and covred in other textes. Dispayre Unto Deathe - _Desperandum Admortem_ \- is considred far darker due to its methode of forcinge the viktim to livve threwe the werst nytemares his minde may conjure. _Desperandum Admortem_, lyke The Killinge Curse, has no nown countre."

Her sudden elation curdled and rotted in her chest, sending chills through her.

No known counter.

She sobbed once, a hopeless bark of pain, and tears flooded from her eyes. The book fell from its perch and joined it brethren on the floor, forgotten as she wailed into her handkerchief.

It was half an hour and multiple bouts of rage and despair before she finally settled. She had nuzzled her face into his neck, and felt safety and comfort in his smell and the tickle of his beard on her skin.

"Well, if there's no known counter, then I'll just have to find one." She kissed his neck and stood beside him.

She tried a cheering charm first, and there was no effect on Harry. She hadn't expected any, the cheering charm was a topical thing, a mood band-aid. She already knew a _Finite Incantatem_ wouldn't work, that had been the first thing the healers had tried. She tried _Finite Somnium_, but again, there was no effect.

What would counter nightmares? What was the opposite of terror and despair?

Love and Happiness, obviously. She could kick herself for being so dim. She almost sat back down to look through the books again, but instead of putting her wand away, as she thought of Dementors. They were beings that took away happiness and left despair.

She turned back to Harry and thought of holding onto him as they sailed into the night on Buckbeak's back. She filled herself with the memory, feeling the warmth of his body in her arms, smelling the back of his neck, seeing the smile he turned on her. She felt the elation that she and Harry had saved both Buckbeak and Sirius, and that knowledge filled her with satisfaction and accomplishment as well.

She called it, and her silver otter burst forth from her wand to gambol and cavort through the air as it slid down an invisible slide from the wall shelf into Harry's chest. He seemed to take on a healthier glow for a moment, and the faintest ghost of a smile graced his lips before fading.

It was something. It was more than he'd shown in the last eighteen weeks, and she was disappointed it hadn't worked, but it also showed her she was on the right track. She had used her most powerful happy memory, what else was there? Maybe if she used _Harry's_ happiest memory? She didn't know what it was he used for his Patronus, they'd never had a chance to discuss it.

Maybe there was a Patronus variation? She knew _Expecto Patronum_ was used against Dementors, and Kingsley had used a _Loquitur Patronum_ to warn them all during Bill and Fleur's wedding. Was there something else? Something she didn't know? No, that was impossible. She'd researched everything about patronuses after saving Sirius, so she wouldn't be unprepared again.

That the patronus had nearly worked was undeniable, that was definitely the right track. Her own happiest memory wasn't enough, so what else could she give him? She'd already made love to him, that was a brand new happiest memory... what if she took all the happy, loving memories of him and rolled them into a patronus? _Expecto Patronum_ meant 'expected intercedence', and _Loquitur Patronum_ meant 'Interceding talk', so...

She filed through her memories for all the times Harry had made her feel loved, all the times he'd stood up for her, all the quiet smiles, all the times she'd stayed at his side when they were in danger and he'd treated her as a partner, all the times he'd said something dumb on purpose just to earn a reprimand from her, the feeling of having him _inside her_, and she capped it off with a vision of the two of them holding their baby together. She suffused herself with every ounce of love she felt for this amazing man.

"_Amare Patronum_." She whispered.

A glow appeared at the end of her wand as a life-sized golden double of herself appeared beside the bed. It looked at her, then nuzzled Harry's neck and hugged him as she sank into his chest.

* * *

"Hermione!" Harry shouted. "Hermione!"

He was lost in blackness. He couldn't tell if he was in a large cave with no light or if his eyes were glued shut. He felt his eyes, and they were open, so he was simply lost and alone in the dark. He had no idea how, but he had to find Hermione. _Had to_. He began walking carefully, gliding his foot along the ground to make sure he didn't trip on anything.

"Hermione! Don't leave me!" He shouted. Had to find her. He couldn't bear to lose her again.

A golden speck appeared in the distance, and grew brighter.

"Hermione?"

He headed toward it, having no other direction to go, and it grew brighter faster. After an unknowable amount of time, the golden glow resolved itself into Hermione.

"Hermione!"

She turned around and started walking back the way she came.

"Hermione! Don't go!" He shouted. He forgot about trying not to trip and started running after her. "Hermione! Wait! Don't leave me again!"

She outdistanced him, and began to recede. She got smaller as he ran even faster, panic pumping his legs for all he was worth. He could make out a brightness in the distance, and she was headed toward that. She was being taken away from him again. He couldn't allow that. He _needed_ her. She had to stay with him, he had to make sure she stayed with him.

He crashed at breakneck speed into the light Hermione had disappeared into, yelling for her.

* * *

Harry's eyes slammed open and he reached out in front of him.

"No Hermione! Don't go! Don't leave me, I love you! I can't lose you! Not again!" He shouted.

Her hands jerked to cover her mouth as tears poured from her eyes immediately.

He was awake!

She stepped into him and wrapped her arms around his head as she held him to her. His arms snaked around her and held her tightly.

"Don't leave me again, Hermione. Not again. I couldn't take it. I love you, Hermione. I'm so sorry I never told you. I'm so sorry. I was so stupid." He shifted his grip on her, and his hand slid over her swollen stomach.

His eyes went wide.

"Too late... I'm too late. I lost you. I lost. I'm too late." He whispered. He let go of her and buried his face in his hands as great wracking sobs tore their way free of his throat. It was the sound of Harry breaking. She knew that sound, she had made it when he died.

"Harry." She said softly. "Harry." She tried to make her voice carry every ounce of love she felt for him. "I love you too, Harry. I always have." She pulled his head to her belly and held him there as she stroked his hair. "I'm sorry too, I should have been braver and told you sooner."

He held her again as his sobs quieted. She was surprised how much it hurt to see tears on his face.

"You can't tell anyone yet, but this is our baby, Harry. Mine and yours. I promise I will explain, but keep quiet for now, the healers will be here in seconds." She kissed the top of his head.

He looked up at her, confusion shining through the tears.

She smiled at him and nodded. He nodded back, and the door opened to admit a team of four healers. All of them stopped mid-stride when they saw Harry awake.

He waved at them after wiping his eyes.

"What... what happened?" A medwitch asked Hermione.

"I found the spell that was used on him, but there was no counter, so I made one." She said.

"You _made_ a counter?!" One of the older healers asked, incredulous.

"Yes."

The healer in front, who had walked in first, held up her hand and the others stopped talking.

"Miss Granger, what was the spell affecting Mister Potter, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Desperandum Admortem. Apparently it's a Selwyn family curse. The book said it was made to force the victim to live a constant nightmare until they died."

"It works." Harry said, looking up at Hermione. "I lost you over and over and over."

She turned to look at the others. "Heard of it? Anyone?" They all shook their heads, and the chief medwitch turned back to Hermione. "What did you do to counter it?"

"Well, I tried a patronus to begin with. I reasoned that if it's composed of a happy memory and can drive a Dementor away, it might be able to counter despair. Unfortunately, the best one I could conjure only put the ghost of a smile on his face and didn't do anything else. it did affect him though, so I started thinking about what might be able to get rid of despair. It took a while, but next I tried putting every scrap of love I could into a patronus and called it 'Amare Patronum'. It conjured a golden... well, a golden _me_, and a minute or so after it went into Harry, he woke up."

"Interesting. Would you mind casting it again once we look Mister Potter over?"

"Alright." She would really rather just get Harry and get out of there.

She sat down in her chair again and waited patiently for the healers to test Harry every which way.

"Well Mister Potter, congratulations are in order." The chief medwitch said minutes later, after dozens of diagnostic spells. "Apparently you have no survived two unsurvivable curses. I would like to keep you for observation overnight, but there's no real reason to keep you here."

"If it's all the same, I would really rather go home with Hermione. I think I've been in this bed long enough." Harry smiled at the medwitch as best he could, but his eyes sought Hermione's face.

"Very well. I will owl you with a date and time for a follow up exam if that's alright with you?"

Harry nodded. "That will be fine. Thank you."

The medwitch turned to Hermione, who then stood up and pulled her wand out. She concentrated on Harry, on his face, his smell, the feel of him beneath her, the way he protected her, way he made her laugh when everything seemed bleak.

"_Amare Patronum._" She said. As before, her wand tip glowed and a golden version of herself coalesced and wordlessly hugged herself inside Harry.

Harry hugged her as well as she melded into him, and ended up with his arms wrapped around himself as tears poured from his eyes.

"Oh Hermione..." He said, his voice twisted by his constricting throat. "I can feel you. I feel your... all this time..." He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and then reached for his glasses on the side table.

"Thank you, Miss Granger, Mister Potter. That was very educational." The chief medwitch said. The other healers echoed the sentiment. The instant the door closed behind them, Harry cast locking spells and silence at it. He didn't give a single wisp of a care that he was in a backless hospital gown either. He crossed to Hermione and cupped her face in his hands and kissed her as lovingly as he possibly could.

"I can feel your love like a second heart beating in my chest." He said between kisses. He sank to one knee and looked into her eyes with tears coming from his own.

"Marry me, Hermione. Please. I can't bear a single moment without you."

She leaned forward and kissed him, desperate to have the moment last forever. "Yes, Harry. Of course yes."

They kissed for long minutes until Harry ran his hands over her stomach again. Tears filled his eyes as he looked into hers. "I'm going to be a father." He whispered. The look in his eyes was awe.

He sniffed and ran his hands over his face to wipe the tears away. "I need to get dressed and we need to get out of here so you can tell me about -" He looked at her stomach.

She wiped her own tears and nodded.

Harry's clothes were cleaned and folded on the side table and had been for months. He pulled his underwear on without bothering to hide from her, and she blushed harder at the rush of desire she felt from watching his behind as he dressed.

When he was finished he helped her shrink all her books and stow them in her bag, and then without any warning wrapped his arms around her again and nuzzled his nose into the crook of her neck. She hugged him back, content just to be able to. He kissed her there a moment later, causing her to shiver, and took a deep breath.

"Sorry. Just needed to... Just needed to." He smiled at her.

"I know exactly what you mean." She kissed him deeply, then took his hand. "Are we ready to go?"

Harry nodded. "I'm thinking of renting a room over the leaky for a day or two. We can't go to Gr - to Sirius's place, it's still an absolute bin."

"That should be alright, but not for long. We were ambushed in Diagon after all."

Harry nodded. "I had forgotten that. Let's just use one of their private rooms to chat and then head to muggleside for the night."

"That sounds better."

They left the hospital then, amid stares and whispers, and Apparated to The Leaky Cauldron. Harry paid Tom for the use of a private room, and once they were inside, they both cast multiple locking spells on the door, and multiple privacy shells and silence barriers and even _Muffliato_ on top of it all.

"Alright, I think we should be alright to talk." Harry said.

Instead, Hermione dropped her glamour charms. Her swollen stomach and breasts plainly evident even beneath the loose fleece jumper she wore.

She could see the wonder in his eyes as he looked at her, and she nodded at the question in his eyes as he reached for her belly. He ran his hands over it and pressed his cheek to her bellybutton.

"Hello beautiful." He talked at her navel like it was a telephone. "I hope you're just like your mother. I love you both more than I thought possible." He looked up at her with tears in his eyes, and then stood and kissed her. He took a few deep breaths and wiped his eyes.

"It's not how I pictured it, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thrilled." He kissed her again. "So... what happened?"

She took a deep breath and let it out. "I'll start at the beginning and tell you everything instead of skipping about."

Harry smiled at her and took a seat. She curled up next to him.

"After you jumped in front of that spell and I watched you fall - I thought you were dead there and then, by the way - I... I sort of... lost my mind a little. I remember not stopping until Selwyn was... past dead. I couldn't tell you what spells I used, or even if I used spells. Anyway, after I was sure there weren't any others lying in wait, I Apparated you to St. Mungo's and we were admitted immediately. Healers were everywhere for an hour or so, taking readings, trying to figure out what had been done to you. Your magic was draining and they couldn't explain it because there were no records of what you'd been hit with. They had no idea what was happening. So, they decided after an hour to put you in a magical coma, to try and reduce the amount of stress on your body and your magic, and that did slow down the drain a lot. I freaked out. I went to every library I could find for books to try and find out what the spell was that hit you. Well, you saw the stacks of books in your room."

"Thank you, Hermione. I can always count on you."

"Yes, you can. I love you, Harry."

He kissed her.

"So I'm sitting in that chair the first day or so, alternating between reading furiously and crying hysterically. Ginny showed up on the second day. She hung around for a little while, long enough to talk about what had happened. I'm pretty sure she looked under your gown while I was in the toilet, since your covers were rumpled when I got back. I was only gone a minute. She didn't talk much after that, she just looked put out, and left a few minutes later. I haven't seen her since. Ron showed up in the fourth week to try and drag me away, down to a pub for dinner and drinks. With you lying all but dead in front of us. Fucking arsehole. He pulled his usual 'what about me' - only this time he actually said "What about me?", and that was the last straw. I told him to fuck off and never come back. I realized then that he had only really ever said 'what about me' in some form or another, and I was so completely sick of it. You're free to go try to be mates with him again if you want, Harry, but I'm done with him. Neville and Luna, on the other hand, have both been in at least once a week, despite what they're both going through, dealing with the aftermath."

"How is Luna?"

"We were able to talk to each other about... about our stays in Malfoy Manor. I think she'll be alright in time. It might help... well, I was thinking of asking her to be the godmother."

"That's perfect." He kissed the top of her head again. "And Nev as godfather?"

"He seems the best choice."

"Good. I'm happy with that."

"So..." She took a deep breath and let it out. "A few days after Ron's visit, I was sitting quietly and reading, still looking for anything to help you, and I happened to be watching you, and you... stopped breathing. You _died_, Harry. The lights turned red, healers showed up in a panic, and I couldn't _do_ anything. You were just slipping away from the world, and it seemed like nobody but me and the healers gave a shit. You were dead for three minutes, Harry. The three longest minutes of my life. Thankfully, the healers were able to keep you from leaving me completely. I resolved then and there that I would not allow you to leave me with nothing. You're too brilliant to not leave -" Her voice hitched, and she choked back a sob as she wiped her eyes. Harry turned to cradle her in his arms and stroked her hair. "Too brilliant to leave the world without leaving something of you behind. I went to Knockturn that day and bought a fertility potion. I waited until after the medwitch had made the night rounds, and locked the door, much like we've done with this room, and then I... I sort of raped you. Sorry."

Harry laughed and kissed the top of her head again. "You're the only one I'd trust to do so, love. Thank you for staying with me and making sure nobody else did."

"I can think of a few who might've."

"So can I, that's why I'm thanking you."

Hermione turned and kissed him, smiling. His eyes held nothing but amusement and gratitude.

"My plan was to spend another twenty weeks at most with you, looking for a cure. After that I would be getting too close to birth to do anything but go to Australia and look for my parents. I figure it will take a few weeks for them to forgive me, but at the very least our baby will have me and his or her grandparents. I was going to come back afterward and steal you, keep you in a private room in a hospital and keep looking for a cure. I got desperate and lucky instead, and here you are."

"It shouldn't have taken all this for me to tell you I love you, Hermione. I'm so sorry for that. I should have told you months and months ago when I figured it out. We could have been in Australia this whole time."

"Don't second guess, Harry. Things worked out, we're okay. Our baby is okay. When... when did you know? When did you figure it out?"

"When we were dancing in the tent. When you finally smiled it was like the sun turned on. It was the most natural thing in the world to just lean in and kiss you, and I wanted to so desperately that when I started to, I freaked out."

"Me too!" She said. "The crashing realization that I loved you and wanted you froze me completely, then I started thinking about Ron and what I was going to say, and by that point you had already stopped smiling, and I was afraid that I'd damaged our relationship by wanting -"

"And then Ron came back and the Horcrux and everything else happened. I didn't spend three days in the attic at Grimmauld being depressed over everyone dying, Hermione. I should have, and I feel guilty that I didn't. I spent those days not getting off the sofa because I thought I'd lost the only chance I would ever have with you."

"That was four months ago, Harry. My fiance." She smiled and kissed him. "I love how that sounds. You can put that behind you. It took us too long, but we got here in the end."

"I've missed all the funerals then. I... I'd like to stop at the graves before we leave for Australia."

"Of course, Harry." She hugged his arms around her.

"As for the future, I will have to go to Gringott's and apologize and pay for damages. I hope there's enough in my vault."

"We will go, Harry. Both of us. There is no you or me anymore. There's US."

Harry smiled as a warm feeling spread through his chest. "You're right of course. I think that should be _our_ first stop, as that will let us know the state of _our_ finances, and will make subsequent choices possible or impossible."

"Right. That's decided then. We should probably do that immediately, as it will tell us if we can afford a place to sleep tonight. I'd rather not go back in the tent."

"I wouldn't mind really. We could make some good memories there for a change."

"I would love to Harry, when I'm not bloated and ugly."

He tightened his arms around her, and rubbed his hands over her belly. "Hermione, you have never been more beautiful." He kissed the top of her head. "And I _always_ thought you were beautiful. Well, after I started _noticing_ beautiful, of course."

She began shaking in his arms, silently crying and holding his arms tighter around herself. He squeezed her and kissed the back of her neck, behind her ear, her jaw, and her mouth when she turned to him.

"We should get to Gringott's." He whispered. "We need to know what we're doing for a place to sleep because I desperately want to make love to you."

"Oh Harry..." She turned and got on her knees between his and kissed him deeply. "I'm already so..." She kissed him some more as she tugged his shirt upward. "Get your clothes off, the goblins can wait."

The end?


	2. Chapter 2

Kissing Hermione was nothing at all like kissing any other girl. He had known she was a girl since they'd met, and he'd gotten used to her intruding on his sexual thoughts since the middle of last year when he'd figured out that he loved her. Having her pull his shirt off and moan into his mouth while she tasted him tasting her excited him in ways he had no words for. Without his permission, his hands cupped her breasts and pulled at her clothes. An electric fog settled on his mind as she consumed his mouth and fought to free him from his own clothes. He had kissed other girls - Cho, Ginny, and a couple others he couldn't name during some of the quidditch parties. He had enjoyed them, thought they were exciting because kissing was new.

It took one kiss from Hermione to show him how utterly lacking they were. He could _feel_ the love and desire she had for him, he could see it in her flushed skin and frenzied eyes. He finally managed to pull her clothes off, and stared in absolute wonder at the beauty in his lap. he didn't even remember to be embarrassed at having a raging erection in front of her. Her perfect face framed by soft curls, slightly wild from snogging, her kissable neck flowed into her kissable collarbones which supported her perfect breasts. They hung from her chest as perfect globes of creamy white skin, topped with dark pink nipples that he ached to tease and lick and kiss.

So he did.

"Oh god, _Harry_!" She whined as she crushed his head to her chest. His tongue danced over her left nipple while his fingers brushed the right, and he squeezed them gently as she moaned. He decided immediately he would never _ever_ get enough of her moaning. It was absolute addiction.

"That's perfect." She breathed. "That's perfect, don't stop. Oh god, don't stop."

Her hands were both wrapped around his erection, her cool, smooth, soft fingers gliding up and down him maddeningly. Hermione shuddered and let out a soft groan from deep in her chest, then her eyes opened and look into his. She shifted her weight forward, and guided his now painfully hard length between her legs, then gently settled her weight down on him. The softness of her and the _heat_ that enveloped him was nothing he was prepared for. A deep groan resonated from somewhere at the bottom of his lungs, matched by one from Hermione. They were one. He was _inside_ her. Only the fact that she smiled her love at him from her perfect face lit from inside with happiness and satisfaction kept him from thinking it was somehow wrong. Anything that felt _so good_ had to be wrong. Somehow.

She shifted her weight and brought her hips upward. The sudden loss of her heat made him desperate to get it back, but only for a split second. She lowered herself onto him even further, groaning as she did. Her hands went to her stomach and she shivered with delight. He put his hands to use gliding over her skin - her waist, her ribs, the curves of her breasts, her collarbones, her back, her gorgeous, taut behind. She shivered again while he did, and her breath came faster. She caught her lower lip between her teeth, and the sight of it made him involuntarily grunt and thrust upward into her. She gasped and clenched her hands into claws on his chest, her nails dug into his skin like she was trying to hang on by them.

"_Yyeeesss. Mooore._" She moaned. She kissed him again.

Harry knew joy, seeing her respond like that. She was enjoying him, and it put such a light in his heart he couldn't have chosen to stop if he wanted to. He continued gliding his fingers over her skin, teasing, rubbing, and pulling gently on her beautiful body as he gently thrust into her in time with her own motions. She gasped with every thrust, she ceased to breathe and began to pant.

"Oh _god_ Harry!" She gasped. Her fingers began to quiver on his chest, then her arms. He gripped her behind in a tight grip, and her forehead slammed into his chest. "I_loveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou._"

Harry thrust upward again twice more, and that was all he could stand. His mind shattered, leaving a white-hot moment out of time as his body pulsed and pumped his essence into her as he growled. Hermione seemed to break at the same time. Several short screams tore from her throat, pulsing in time with her thrashing.

They both lay still for a short time afterward, unable to form a coherent thought.

When Harry returned to earth, Hermione lay on him, panting and sweating and naked and beautiful. He cradled her to him as the most precious and cherished thing in the universe, and kissed her wherever his lips could reach. Long minutes passed before Hermione roused and nuzzled into his neck.

"Mmmm." She sighed contentedly. "So much better when you're awake."

Harry didn't realize he was crying until he looked at her. She looked out of her glowing cinnamon-chocolate eyes and frowned before kissing his tears away.

"What's wrong, Love?" She asked softly.

"Absolutely nothing." He smiled. "I just... I can't believe how good you make me feel. I never want to not be inside you."

"Mmmm" She nuzzled back into his neck. "That's what I want too."

"I would ask you to marry me right now, but you already said yes." He smiled and kissed her neck.

She chuckled softly. "Always and forever, Harry. You and me. No matter what."

"Always and forever, Hermione. You and me. No matter what."

They snuggled together for a long while, until they looked around and realized they'd just made love in a rented lounge.

Hermione looked at him somewhat sheepishly and kissed him before levering herself off him and the sofa.

"Sorry." She said.

"For what?"

"Attacking you. It must be the hormones or something, I was just so..."

"No."

"No?"

"No. Never _EVER_ apologize for making me feel like that. Just don't. I don't care why, I don't care where, I don't care when. I will happily make love to you. No apologies."

She smiled and kissed him. "Alright then, same goes for you."

"It still feels like the top of my head is missing."

"We should find it before we go." She smiled and crinkled her nose at him in a way that made the sun seem pale and insignificant.

Harry grinned at her and got off the sofa as well, and helped her put her clothes back on. They cleaned each other and the room as well as they could with just magic, and made sure there weren't any smells or... leftovers... before they turned to leave.

He took her hand and kissed her fingers as they walked out of the Leaky Cauldron into Diagon Alley, and didn't let go of her hand even as the goblin teller looked up at him over his glasses.

"Can I help you?" The goblin asked.

Harry bowed. "I hope so. I'm Harry Potter, I'm here to apologize and pay for any damages caused by our actions."

The goblin looked surprised for just a brief second. "Come with me, I will show you to your account manager."

"Thank you. I have an account manager?"

The goblin didn't answer, he just led them to the right through a door behind a conference room, and through several hallways carved from solid rock. The goblin opened a door in the middle of a long hallway full of doors, and bid them take a seat.

"Manager Gutspike will be with you shortly." He said, then closed the door behind him as he left.

Before either of them could think of anything to say about the situation, the door opened again and another goblin walked in. This one was taller and wider than the previous one, and though neither of them had much insight into goblin facial expressions, this one seemed very pissed off.

"Mister Potter." He growled as he walked in and stood behind the desk they were seated in front of, "Why have you never answered a single owl you were sent? Why am I only meeting you for the first time after your _eighteenth_ birthday?!"

Harry frowned. "I've never received an owl from Gringotts. Not one. Not ever."

The goblin looked around at the room as if expecting something, and then sighed. "Very well. We will have to investigate the causes of our owls being waylaid at a future date. You told Thumbhammer you wish to apologize and make reparations, yes?"

With that, Harry focused again and took a deep breath. After a quick look at Hermione, he bowed.

"Yes. I am very sorry for the actions we took against your bank and your people, and not just for the physical damage we caused. If I had been more educated in the magical world, I might have known to just come and ask to speak to someone in charge about our suspicions of a dark object in the vaults, but I let myself be affected by the prejudices of those around me, and for that I am deeply ashamed. I place myself at the mercy of whoever is in charge both for monetary repayment and any punishment the goblin nation sees fit to bestow."

"We place _our_selves at your mercy." Hermione frowned at him.

Harry frowned back and looked at her now-hidden belly with hard eyes, and she understood the message. She wasn't just her anymore.

"You would claim sole responsibility and absolve Miss Granger and Mister Weasley of any guilt?"

Harry looked back at Gutspike. "I would. I know neither of them can afford much. I just hope I have enough in my vault to cover the damages."

Gutspike pushed a sheet of parchment across the desk and laid a quill on top of it. "Just sign at the bottom, Mister Potter, and sole responsibility will be yours."

Harry picked up the parchment and read it, and it did indeed say that he was claiming sole responsibility for the break in and out. it did not say anything else, and that was why he read it. He signed the bottom with the quill provided, and Gutspike took the parchment back. It disappeared with a click of his fingers. Gutspike then showed a great many spiked teeth in a shark-like grin.

"Your grandfather would be most proud of you, Mister Potter. Most proud." He clicked his fingers again, and four ledgers and a beautifully polished, ornately carved wooden box appeared on the desktop.

"You knew my Grandfather?"

"I took over from Steelgrunt as Potter account manager during his time as Lord Potter. Your grandfather was a brilliant man - which brings me to the objects on the desk." He opened one of the ledgers and spun it so it faced Harry. "The personal Potter account vault."

Harry looked at the number at the bottom of the page, dumbfounded. It was in constant flux, gaining and losing galleons every few seconds, but _there were eight digits in the number_. Harry just looked up at Gutspike, uncomprehendingly.

"It says you don't have to work for a living, Mister Potter."

Harry just nodded dumbly.

Gutspike took that ledger and closed it, then gave him another. This one had nine digits at the bottom. "The Potter business vault account." he said.

"That's... unbelievable." Harry said. He looked to Hermione for help, his eyes wide, but she could only frown back at him, clearly worried.

"These are all copies of the main Ledgers I keep here in this office, they are yours to keep. The other two ledgers are the inventories of the Potter Items Vault and the Potter Library Vault."

Hermione's hand clamped onto his forearm as Gutspike said 'library vault'.

Gutspike picked up the ornate wooden box and made a series of complicated gestures overtop of it, culminating with a click of his fingers. An unseen latch let go, and the lid of the box rose a fraction of an inch to indicate it was open.

Gutspike opened the lid and turned the box to face Harry. There were two rings inside the box, one thick one with a large square emerald and a gold crest on top of the emerald, and a smaller one that was the same, but more feminine.

"Your House rings. Yours is the larger, of course. By putting the ring on your finger, you agree to be weighed by House Potter and will either be accepted or rejected. House Potter has always suffered from the attentions of greedy connivers, so you should know that none of them who put the ring on lived." Gutspike flashed them another shark grin.

"Is this..." Harry stared, and Hermione could see he felt lost. She could see the little boy who had never had candy before. He was still inside Harry, and it brought tears to her eyes.

"Is this really for me? I'm not sitting in someone else's place?" He asked.

"Well, if you're not Harry Potter, I suppose you should be prepared for a gruesome death. If you are Harry Potter, then it is your birthright, yes."

Harry looked at Hermione, who nodded and smiled in support. He reached out and plucked the man's ring from its place, and slipped it on the ring finger of his right hand. It grew warm, and suddenly shrunk to fit his finger perfectly. For a few seconds, nothing happened, and Harry looked to Hermione, who could only look back at him. Then a soft green glow began at the ring, and grew to encompass both him and Hermione.

Gutspike gaped at them, and when the glow faded, he immediately scribbled some notes.

"Well. That was unexpected. Apparently House Potter is enthusiastically behind your ascension to Lordship. Congratulations, Lord Potter."

"Uhh.. Thank you." Harry's mind reeled. "Can I ask you a... well, maybe a personal question, I'm not sure."

"I can always choose not to answer, Lord Potter, please go ahead."

"Well, this isn't the question, but first could you just call me Harry please? This Lord Potter thing is making me feel weird."

"Delighted, Harry. Your question?"

"Do you know anything about magical marriages? I mean, I don't even know if goblins get married or are monogamous or anything, and I don't mean to give offense, I just don't know."

"I am happily married, thank you Harry. As long as Magic recognizes your intent to be married, almost any ceremony will do. I understand wizarding ceremonies can run the gamut from simple to complicated, egalitarian to binding. Goblins are very forthright and generally aren't fond of dithering, and our ceremonies reflect such."

"Thank you." Harry said. He looked at Hermione. "I know we'll have to have another wedding, with your parents and the dress and flowers and the whole thing, but I really want to put that ring on you right now."

Hermione only pulled him into a hug and kissed him quietly.

Harry turned back to Gutspike when she let go. "Could we get married? LIke right now? Would you show us the goblin ceremony? Please?"

Gutspike was quiet for a moment. "You would marry a witch with a goblin ceremony?" He asked quietly.

"Unless you can think of a reason not to, Hermione?" He asked her.

"No, I would be happy to. I have to admit I've never researched anything about magical marriages so I'm in the same boat with you, Harry."

Gutspike drew a deep breath and let it out. "Then would you allow me a moment to gather witnesses? I can assure you I will vouch for their integrity."

"That would be fine with me." Hermione said.

"Me too." Harry agreed.

"Shame there's no way to get Luna or Neville here in a few minutes." Harry said after Gutspike left the room. "We'll have to invite them to the next one. I could see Nev being my best man."

"That would be brilliant. Would you get married in Australia? I mean, we should have it soon..."

"Absolutely. We'll talk about it of course, but I don't want a lot of people there. I don't think we'd have a lot of people there anyway. Your mum and dad of course, Nev, Luna, George and whoever he wants as a date, Bill and Fleur you think?"

"Well, as much as I don't want to see Ron or Ginny after these last few months, we probably should invite Mr. and Mrs. as well."

Harry nodded. "I do owe them a fair bit for getting me away from the Dursleys and being a decent family model." Harry nodded.

"As it will be our wedding as well, I won't have any difficulty asking anyone to leave if they cause problems. I'm sure I probably won't even get the chance with my father there." Hermione smiled.

"Good. We'll talk about it more later." Harry said as Gutspike re-entered the room with four other goblins.

One of them approached harry and Hermione. "Gutspike says you wish to be married right now in a goblin ceremony, is this so?"

Harry stood and shook the goblin's hand. "Yes sir. We are only really semi-knowledgeable about muggle marriage customs. I thought that because Gutspike knew my grandfather that he's been around for a while and would know a lot more about magical marriages than either of us. I hope it won't cause any offense if we do this?"

The goblin let out a grating, pulsing hiss that he realized was probably laughter. "Offense _to whom_, Lord Potter? Certainly not to the goblin nation! To witches and wizards, well that is less clear."

"We were only really worried about causing offense to your nation, sir. Witches and Wizards have been causing offense to us since we arrived." Hermione said.

All five goblins laughed at that.

Gutspike handed Harry a wickedly sharp dagger, hilt first. Harry accepted it, and Hermione stood beside him.

"What do we do with this?" He asked.

"Each of you must cut your palms, deeply enough that blood flows easily, but try not to cut through any tendons. Once blood flows, clasp hands so that your blood mixes, and say 'You are mine and I am yours.' Magic will show you whether your marriage is valid." Gutspike said.

"That's it?"

"Time is gold, Lord - excuse me, Harry."

Harry nodded and looked at Hermione. "I have Dittany in my bag." She said as she smiled at him.

"I love you." He said.

"I love you." She replied.

Harry cut his palm slowly, gauging how deep the cut was before completing it. It stung. Blood welled to the surface and began to pool in his palm as he handed the dagger to Hermione hilt first. She cut her own hand the same way, and Harry offered his hand with its little pool of blood. She put hers overtop of his, and some of the blood dribbled out between their fingers.

"You are mine and I am yours." He said as he looked into her beautiful cinnamon chocolate eyes.

"You are mine and I am yours." She said as she looked back into his emerald ones.

Their hands began to feel warm, and a silver nimbus surrounded their hands. It began to spread up their arms, across their chests and down their bodies until they were entirely aglow, then the nimbus deepened to a warm golden colour, before flashing to an intense white. A tingling warmth blossomed on Harry's forehead where his scar was, and he watched Hermione's eyes widen as she looked at it. Just as the glow became too much to look at, it faded away to nothing, leaving them wondering exactly what that meant. The cuts on their hands were gone, as thought they'd never been there.

"Congratulations, Lord and Lady Potter." The new goblin said. It was the same one who had greeted them before. The other four seemed to be content not to speak.

"Thank you, er...?"

"Ragnok."

"Thank you, Ragnok. And thank you all for coming, especially when time is gold. Thank you all for letting me know about all this. I had no idea..." Harry said. He picked up the Potter ring from out of the carved box, and slipped it onto Hermione's finger. Just as his had done, it resized itself, and emitted a bright green glow over both of them.

"Brilliant." She smiled at him.

"I daresay that might have been worth waiting for." Ragnok said, and hissed laughter again as he and the other three exited the room.

"Our Gratitude." Gutspike said. "Was there anything else I could assist you with?"

"Thank you for everything so far, Manager Gutspike. What do I owe for the damages? I'd like to get that taken care of before anything else."

Gutspike waved a hand. "Seven hundred twenty-one thousand, four hundred five galleons, three sickles and a knut. It was handled when you signed the responsibility form."

Harry frowned. "You mean _before_ I looked at the ledger?"

"Yes." Gutspike replied.

Harry blinked and looked at Hermione, who looked just as lost as he felt. "Okay then... I guess we'll need some money... also, we may be in Australia for an extended time. Is there some way to contact you or will I be assigned a different account manager? How does that work? Sorry for taking all your time, I'm... I should have come a long time ago. Sorry."

"No need to apologize, Harry. Certainly not on my account."

"I just feel like I'm eleven again and suddenly being told I'm a wizard and have no idea what to do. I don't know anything about money except that I can buy things with it. I don't even know what questions I should be asking. Does Gringott's offer economics courses for idiots or something?"

Hermione's hand gripped his and didn't let go.

"Unfortunately for you, we do not. If we did, we might find ourselves out of a job."

Harry smiled. "Hadn't thought of that. Good point. I guess I'll have to learn as much as I can -" He squeezed Hermione's hand and smiled at her, "_We_'ll have to learn as much as we can on our own then. Does Gringott's have debit cards or anything like that? We will probably have to switch between galleons and pounds or ...what do they use in Australia? Pounds?"

"Dollars." Gutspike replied.

"Yes, we'll have to switch back and forth fairly often, I imagine."

"Your House rings will function as... debit cards... within magical spaces and will deal in Galleons. For the non-magical spaces and different non-magical currencies, we have Gringott's wallets. If you'll excuse me, I'll be right back with some."

"Thank you, Gutspike." Harry said.

Gutspike strode out of the room again and returned a few minutes later with two black dragon-skin wallets, one in bifold style, and one clutch style.

"The wallets themselves are one hundred galleons each, and the conversion and banishing services they're linked to are a further ten galleons per month. You have simply to speak the amount you require to the wallet, and after a short delay, the requested amount will be sent into the wallet." Gutspike said when he returned.

"That's brilliant." Hermione said, eyeing the clutch.

"We'll take both. Thank you, Gutspike."

Gutspike nodded.

"If I wanted to buy a house in Australia, that's far more money than muggle authorities would accept in cash - how would I go about that?"

"Simply send a macaw to your local branch of Gringott's, or visit. Arrangements would all be made locally."

"Brilliant. Thank you again, you've been just great." Harry held out a hand to the goblin, who shook it.

Hermione picked the clutch up off the desk and tucked it under her arm, then also shook the goblin's hand. "Thank you so much, Manager Gutspike. You've been a great deal of help."

"Thank you for finally visiting, before I had to declare you dead." Gutspike did that hissing laughter thing again. Was that a joke? Harry showed his teeth in an uncomprehending rictus, and quietly followed Hermione out of the bank altogether.

He stood in the center of Diagon Alley and reeled. He held Hermione's hand as though he was about to fly away like Aunt Marge had done so long ago. She smiled at him, and knew his brain was not answering the phone, she could see it in his eyes. Of course she could. They had just done this yesterday... Fortescue's was open now. Part of one building was brightly painted as though it were brand new. He had _kissed_ Hermione. _Made love_ to her. She _loved him too_. She had just _married_ him. He was _married_. To _Hermione_.

* * *

Harry stopped outside Gringott's with a wild look on his face. She could see he was having a moment of realization. She'd had several in the weeks when she'd first started to show - those moments where the gravity of what you were doing slapped you in the face. She still had no regrets.

He gripped her hand almost painfully, as though he were afraid he was about to fall off the planet. She stood next to him - next to _her husband_ \- and rubbed his back as it seemed he were about to start hyperventilating.

Harry was alive. He was awake. He loved her. He loved _their baby_. She breathed heavily herself, but more to prevent tears than due to to any reality-defining epiphanies. She smiled at him when his eyes finally focused. She could almost see reality spinning around his head like a whirling disc that screeched to a halt when he looked into her eyes. His grip on her hand relaxed, and he took a deep breath, then kissed her fingers.

"Come on." He said. "I owe you a mint chocolate chip." He grinned, and the world was bright again. Always thoughtful, unfailingly kind, and _he loved her_. There was _nothing_ she couldn't do.

"Just a small, Harry. Too much isn't good for..."

Harry's eyes fairly glowed as he stepped into her and held her gently. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I nearly forgot." He whispered. "Thank you for being a wonderful mother. I... I can't help but feel like this is all a dream... I can't... I'm not allowed to feel this good. To be this happy." He brushed her hair behind her ear, and twirled his finger in one of her curls, almost abashedly.

She took his face between her hands and looked him in the eyes. "Harry James Potter, you had better get used to it, because both of us will be counting on you. Nobody but nobody has _earned_ more happiness than you, Harry. You deserve every second of every happiness that exists in this world, and I aim to see you get it. I love you, Harry. You and me, forever and ever."

Tears glistened in his eyes as he kissed her then, and the feel of his soft lips beneath the scruff made her toes tingle.

"You and me." He whispered. "Forever and ever."

They held hands as they entered Fortescue's, and there were no eyes that were not looking at them as they ordered. Mr. Fortescue took a few minutes to get to them, he seemed to be the only one working, and business was nearly as brisk as usual.

"Ah, Mister Potter." He beamed when he saw them.

Harry held up her hand in his. "And Missus."

Florean's eyebrows rose. "Congratulations!" He grinned.

"Thank you." Harry beamed back. She'd never seen him smile so fully. "Two small mint chocolate chip, please."

Florean scooped their small dishes of ice cream and handed them over, and waved Harry away when he tried to pay. "Nonsense!" He said. "I can't do much, but a free bowl for newlyweds is an honor and a privilege."

"Thank you, Mister Fortescue." Harry smiled at him, and then smiled at her.

"Florean, please."

"Thank you, Florean." She said, and smiled at both of them.

It took ten minutes to eat the ice cream and most of it was gooey by the time they hit the bottom of the bowl. Both of them kept looking at each other and talking without speaking for long moments at a time, and so the ice cream melted.

"How do you feel?" Harry asked her.

"Happy." She smiled back at him.

He smiled back, but shook his head. "Good to know, but I meant physically. You feel up to going to the ministry, getting a portkey and just leaving? We can get settled once we get there and start looking for your parents first thing in the morning?"

"Physically I'm fine. I could do with a long night's sleep, but letting myself get too run down isn't good for... so I don't. Not that I'm not thrilled, but why the rush?"

Harry shrugged. "I started thinking about your parents, about how mad they're going to be when we undo it. Then I realized we're kind of on a schedule, and the sooner we find them and do it, the longer they'll have to get over that and reconnect with you... us, before..."

"So you want to leave right now so my parents have one day longer."

"Essentially. I know once they get over it you'll be happier."

There it was. The fundamentally _Harry_ part of Harry only wanted to make her happy. Harry was a terrible liar, so she knew that was his real motivation, and it felt like getting everything she wanted on Christmas morning for no other reason than he wanted to see her smile. She still didn't think she deserved him, but they were married now, it was too late to back out.

She nodded. "Alright. Let's go then. Sooner we get there and get settled the sooner _we_ can have a shower." She looked at him through half-lidded eyes, and let her desire to be warm and wet and naked against him show through.

He stood up immediately and held out his hand as his eyes flared with understanding.

She might not ever understand why he found her desirable, but the fact that he did felt absolutely brilliant.

The ministry hadn't changed any in the year or so since they'd been there, and thankfully there were no courtrooms or kidnappings or disgusting potions this time. They joined the queue that started just inside the doors to the International Portkey office, and resigned themselves to at least a half-hour wait.

"Have you got quill and parch- what am I asking, _of course_ you have quill and parchment." Harry smiled at her. "May I use some? I figure we should write a couple notes, it'll be easier to do here than in Australia."

"Neville and Luna?" She asked.

"Yeah. And Mrs. Weasley. Did she ever come visit?"

"No. Ginny the second day, then Ron after four weeks when I told him to fuck off."

Harry slid his arms around her just beneath her breasts and held her close. "Sorry for that, Hermione. Not in a fault way, just that it couldn't have been fun or easy."

She hugged his arms around her. "Not fun, but surprisingly easy. After everything, it had been a long time coming. I want to question whether he was ever really a friend or just putting up with me because of you, but maybe that's unkind. Then again, he had the gall to literally ask 'what about me' with you lying there mostly dead."

"Whichever it turns out to be, we have each other now and we'll face whatever comes together." The words the horcrux said to Ron haunted the back of his mind, but Hermione didn't need to know, and it was better left in the past.

"Mmm. Well said, husband." She kissed him quickly, then dug parchment and quill from her bag. He had to use her back to write on, so she held the inkpot up for him to dip the quill into. When the three notes were finished, he showed them to her as he re-stoppered the inkpot and cleaned the quill.

"Those are good. Well done." She kissed him.

After she put it back in her bag, he kissed the back of her neck and made her shiver. "I'll just drop these off to owl post and be back in a moment."

She nodded, and he strode quickly back through the doors and into the Atrium.

She was nearly at the desk when he returned more than twenty minutes later. He strode up to her and kissed her forehead. "Sorry I'm late. I got the mail issue sorted, so hopefully I won't miss another of Gringott's owls."

"Oh. Good. I guess I could put up with you being gone that long for a good cause." She smiled and kissed his cheek.

Harry gave her an odd look, and she applied her mind to what she'd just said.

"Sorry, Harry." She looked up at him. "I guess after nearly losing you... I don't want to let you out of my sight for fear I won't see you again. I don't mean to be clingy, but..."

He wrapped his arms around her again. "I understand. I can't say I'd be any different if it were reversed. Sorry for worrying you."

She smiled and looked into his eyes again. "No apologies, Harry. I love you, so I'm going to worry, no matter what. Much as I expect you will."

He quirked one side of his mouth in a roguish grin. "Less than I would if I didn't know you could wipe the floor with pretty much anyone. War heroine."

She snorted. "I think most of that was luck. I'm looking forward to getting settled so we can have a training routine. We can always be better."

"I agree, and that's a brilliant idea. Have I mentioned you're brilliant?" He kissed the back of her head.

"Not nearly often enough." She winked at him.

The line moved forward, as sometimes happens in queues, and they found themselves at the desk, facing a bored, highly undervalued witch by the name of Amalthea. At least, that's what it said on her nametag.

"Destination?" She asked.

"Sydney, Australia." Hermione answered.

"Date of travel?"

"Immediately if possible, please."

Amalthea nodded, and wrote the destination and time on a slip of parchment that looked pre-prepared.

"Twenty galleons." Amalthea said in the same monotone she'd been using since they arrived. She slid the invoice - the pre-prepared slip of parchment she'd been writing on - across the desk toward Hermione, who touched her ring to the signature portion of the slip. A house crest blazed into being there, and PAID appeared across the top of the invoice in green ink.

Amalthea paid no attention. Rich purebloods were all alike.

"Booth two." She said, and waved them off.

"Thank you." Hermione said with a smile, but Amalthea was already looking past her to the next customer.

"Destination?" They heard her ask as they walked away toward booth two.

As soon as they closed the door to booth two, a piece of broken ceramic appeared on the tiny table. Hermione picked it up, and when Harry touched it as well, they were on their way.

* * *

Molly folded the Prophet back up again and set it on Arthur's chair. He'd want to finish reading it when he got home. It was a load of rubbish as it always was, but he liked it nonetheless. She thought about preparing dinner, but then realized that yesterday's leftovers were still waiting. She kept forgetting that it was just the two of them in the house now, and constantly made far too much food.

She thought about doing some cleaning, and then decided she couldn't be arsed. What would be the point anyway? it was only her and Arthur now. Even Ginny was on the other side of Britain in Holyhead for training camp. Ron and George were in Diagon, and Bill and Charley were where they'd been for ages on the continent.

She took a deep breath and sighed. She would have to find something to do with herself soon. She climbed out of Arthur's chair and looked around for a moment. She supposed she would have to start cleaning anyway, there wasn't anything else to do. She pulled out her wand and raised it to cast, but there was a TAPTAP at the window.

An owl! Lovely!

She opened the window and went immediately to the stasis cabinet for a tidbit of chicken for the bird. She took the note from its holder on the bird's leg, then fed it the chicken.

"Thank you!" She said happily. The bird dove back out the window and was gone.

It was addressed to her!

She unrolled the parchment and smoothed it out with her wand, and settled at the table to read.

**Dear Mrs. Weasley,**

**I will be in Australia by the time you read this. Right now I am uncertain whether I will be coming back, so I wanted to say thank you before I left. Thank you for being there for me when I needed someone, thank you for making me feel like part of the family, thank you for coming to see me when I was in a coma.**

**If I don't see you again, I hope you have a wonderful life.**

**-Harry.**

She read it again, and then again.

Harry had been in a coma?

* * *

Neville closed his textbook and sighed.

The curtains hung limply, their colour faded. Somehow the immense stones of the castle let the cold wind through, and clothing didn't seem to help. Conversations were quiet and halting, like silence had a will of its own and didn't like interruptions. They had all helped to vanquish a terrible evil, but it felt like all that had really happened was their friends had died.

Their friends _had_ died, and that was going to take some getting used to. He knew that. He just didn't see how coming back to school so soon was a good idea. yes, he wanted to study and take his N.E.W.T.s, but two months to get over friends dying? That was asking a little much. Even though the castle was repaired and you would never know there had been a battle at all, there was simply no joy present. Seventh year was supposed to be your crowning glory, the year when you were top dog and supposed to show all the squirts how things were done. Instead, the seventh years were ghosts. Nobody saw them, they didn't want to be seen. Nobody cared about house points or Quidditch or anything really. Even Neville just wanted to pass his tests and leave.

A tapping sound broke him from his reverie and called his attention to the window. A couple of the younger kids looked up, but it was Neville who put his book on the table and went to open the window.

The owl hopped inside as a blast of cold air entered with it, and it stuck its leg out at him. He gave it a couple of owl treats from the jar on the desk by the window, and took the message from its holder. The owl then dove back out the window with its treats and Neville shut the pane behind it.

The message had his name on it.

Curious, he unfurled it and read it right there.

**Dear Neville,**

**I woke up this morning at about seven. Hermione and I were married about ten, and we left for Australia about half eleven. We're likely in Australia by the time you read this, we're here to find and restore Hermione's parents.**

**I want to thank you for coming to see me and Hermione while I was out of it. She won't say it, but I can tell your and Luna's visits were very helpful for her, so thank you for that. Please don't tell anyone what I'm telling you in this letter, we're only letting people know who we count as true friends, and only you and Luna have lived up to the title.**

**We will be having another wedding soon, so that Hermione's parents can attend, and I'd like it if you'd be my Best Man. We do have something else to ask of you as well, something official and House Potter-ey, but we'll wait until we see you for that. Best not to put it in print.**

**We'll send another note when we get settled here, when we have someplace to receive mail and such and let you know where we are and how to reach us.**

**Thanks again, Nev.**

**Your friends, Harry and Hermione.**

Neville started laughing and crying at the same time.

Harry was _alive_. Not just _not dead_, he was awake and moving a million miles an hour again. Some of the gloom lifted. Some of the colour came back into the red and gold. He could just see the terrified expression on Harry's face as he stood there and married Hermione. Shit, he _married_ Hermione.

"Good on ya, mate. Good on ya. About bloody time." He said to himself.

Every eye in the room was fixed on him as he wiped his eyes and grinned.

"Harry's awake." He said.

The oppressive silence shattered.

* * *

Luna smiled in satisfaction as the mauve-coloured mist she'd sprayed settled over the knotty hole in the bark. She gave it a little push with a blown breath, and almost instantly several dozen chittering maroon creatures fled the tree as quickly as they could in the direction of the lake.

"Truculents three, Lovegood one." She said with a smile. "At least now the potion works."

From her vantage point at the top of her tall ladder, it was easy to see the owl flapping toward her.

"Who would be sending me mail way out here, I wonder?"

She tucked the small potion mister into her jacket pocket, and climbed down the ladder. At least someone was thinking of her enough to send a letter, and that made her happy.

Several small green stalk-like figures appeared on the branches of nearby trees and just sat, waving side to side happily. She hoped they would be able to save this tree. Hopefully the truculents hadn't infested it too long.

The owl landed on her ladder and stuck its leg out toward her. She slipped a bit of jerky from her bag and offered it in exchange for the letter. It CHKCHKed happily, and then took off again, back in the direction it had come. She watched it for a moment, then waved with a smile.

The letter had her name on the front, but she expected that. She was the only one out here, after all.

**Dear Luna,**

**I woke up this morning at about seven. Hermione and I were married about ten, and we left for Australia about half eleven. We're likely in Australia by the time you read this, we're here to find and restore Hermione's parents.**

**I want to thank you for coming to see me and Hermione while I was out of it. She won't say it, but I can tell your and Neville's visits were very helpful for her, so thank you for that. Please don't tell anyone what I'm telling you in this letter, we're only letting people know who we count as true friends, and only you and Neville have lived up to the title.**

**We will be having another wedding soon, so that Hermione's parents can attend, and Hermione would like to know if you'd be her Maid of Honour. We do have something else to ask of you as well, something official and House Potter-ey, but we'll wait until we see you for that. Best not to put it in print.**

**We'll send another note when we get settled here, when we have someplace to receive mail and such and let you know where we are and how to reach us.**

**Thanks again Luna,**

**Your friends, Harry and Hermione.**

"Well, that's nice. I'm glad you're finally better, Harry." She said happily. "Maid of Honour sounds nice. I hope it isn't too complicated." She turned to the bowtruckles sitting in the treebranches.

"Do you think I could be a Maid of Honour if I'm not a virgin?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Aauuunnnghh..." Hermione moaned. "How did you get so... unnnghh... good at that Harry? Don't ever stop. Sweet merciful Merlin don't _ever_ stop..."

Harry chuckled. "Have to, I'm done with that one. You have another foot, you know." He set her left foot down on his lap and picked up her right. He started with gentle squeezes, then added circular motions, and when her foot was warmed up, he added pressing his thumbs into the muscles on the bottom.

Hermione melted.

When he was finished with her right foot, she snored.

Harry smiled, and quietly picked up a magazine to flip through while she napped. He would have preferred a book on economics and managing money, but they hadn't had a chance to go to any shops yet.

He put the magazine down as a thought struck. There was some other reading he should be doing...

He pulled out his wand and concentrated, and two of the large Gringott's ledgers obediently floated to him from the far desk. The opened the cover, and the first page was a table of contents, broken into five categories: Homes and Properties, Large Items, Jewelry, Intellectual Property, and Investments. Harry figured he should read it all, so he flipped the page and started at the beginning, Homes and Properties.

There were only five Homes and Properties listed:

**Potter House, 1 Potter Way, Dorset. Familial Seat. Complement: 8**

**Unnamed Residence, 7 Gryffindor Common, Godric's Hollow.**

**Chalet Potter, Chateau d'Oex, Switzerland. Complement: 4**

**Villa Potter, 107 Fangrias Dr. Mykonos, Greece. Complement: 4**

**Potter Island, Grand Bahamas. Complement: 12**

His family owned an _island._ A _whole island_. In the _Bahamas_.

He closed the ledger again. Maybe he wasn't ready for that after all. He took several deep breaths, and hoped he finished freaking out before Hermione woke up. It was so much more fun to watch others freak out than it was to do it yourself.

Not for the first time, he marveled at his wife. _His wife_. Sewer of sunshine ribbons, bane of mint chocolate chip, oracle of his heart and mind. How on earth had he ever thought of her as just a friend? He shook his head slowly and thanked Merlin and Magic for showing him how unspeakably precious she really was. He carefully placed his hand on her swollen stomach and just rested it there. He felt so feeble, so inadequate, so unworthy in the face of what was happening inside her. It had taken _years_ too long to even admit he loved her. How was he going to suddenly become a good father? A good husband? Hell, a good _man_? Tears started rolling down his cheeks, and as much as he was looking forward to it, awed by it, he had to admit even just to himself that he was _terrified_.

At least he didn't have to worry about putting food on the table or where his next paycheque was coming from. There were a lot of men who had it a lot harder than he did. He watched Hermione's perfect breasts rise and fall for a long time, studied her beautiful, peaceful face as though he'd never seen it before and never would again.

'You're married to the Research Queen, Potter.' He thought to himself after a long time just watching her sleep. 'You'd better pull your fucking finger out and get doing some of your own.'

He set his jaw and nodded to himself. As soon as she woke up.

He used his wand to summon parchment, quill, and ink, and used the ledger as a writing table.

**We, Lord and Lady Potter;**

**Harry James Potter and Hermione Jean Potter, being of sound mind and body, do hereby bequeath all our worldly possessions to our yet unborn child.**

**In the event that we are all killed, all worldly possessions are to be evenly split by their agreement between Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood, minus 100,000 galleons, which is to go to Arthur and Molly Weasley.**

He signed his name, and left space for Hermione's signature next to his.

He had no idea if it was valid, or if that was even how things were done. He would go to Gringott's later and see if they had a better idea on how to protect their assets, but in the meantime it would do. He'd show Hermione when she woke and see if she had anything to add.

He used the wand again to put the Will on the table, and summoned Hermione's bag, then summoned her camera out of it. He floated the camera a decent distance away, pointed at them, and lay his hand carefully and gently on her stomach again before snapping the picture, then put the camera away again, and went back to writing.

**6th September, 1998**

**I'm sitting on a sofa in Sydney Australia with your mother. I just finished rubbing her feet and she was out like a light. We got married this morning - maybe it was yesterday in England due to time difference, I'm not sure. I just took a picture of us, all three of us, though you're not visible yet of course. I just want you to know that I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm lost right now, facing the most important thing I've ever - ** _ **we** _ **'ve - ever done, namely raising you. My own parents were murdered when I was a year and a half old, so I haven't really had any examples of how to parent properly, and I'll apologize for that now. I'll get things wrong, that much is a certainty. I'm immensely thankful that I have your mother, however. She's so completely brilliant, so incomparably wonderful, I'd be an utter wreck without her. I love her so much that sometimes I still can't believe she's real and loves me back, and we've been together since I was eleven. I love you the same way. We don't know if you're a boy or girl yet. We haven't even discussed names, but you're the central fact of our lives now, and we love you more than it's possible to say. We love you more and more every day. We can't wait to meet you.**

**I don't know how possible it's going to be to write to you often, but I'm definitely going to try.**

**All our love,**

**Your father, Harry James Potter.**

Hermione stirred as he was waving the letter in the air to dry. She took her feet from his lap and sat up next to him to kiss his cheek.

"What's that?" She asked as she rested her cheek on his shoulder.

"A letter to the baby. I was doing some thinking, and if something happens to us... I don't want him or her to have nothing the way I did."

She pulled his face to hers and kissed him. "You beautiful, wonderful man. May I?" She held her hand out for the letter.

"Of course." He kissed her again, and she felt something new beneath the usual kiss. A new level of tenderness, of... _vulnerability_. She searched his eyes, and for the first time since she'd come to know him, she had no idea what he was thinking. There were several different emotions running through him at the same time, and she couldn't read him. It sent a thrill up and down her spine and ignited a deep hunger for him in a way she'd never experienced.

She tore her eyes away from his and read the letter.

Her hand went to her mouth as she read, tears dripped freely from her cheeks, and when she finished it her arms went around his neck and she sobbed into his neck.

"I love you." She cried, "I love you so much."

He held her close and pulled her into his lap, and they sat there like that while he rubbed her back and kissed her while he let his own tears mix with hers.

"I realized I have a _lot_ of research to do. I don't even know how to be a decent man, for Magic's sake."

She sniffed and wiped her eyes and then nose on his shirt. "You're wrong, Harry. I don't love you _in spite of _who you are, I love you _because of _who you are. You are already a better man than most could dream of being. You're brilliant, this is just proof." She held up the letter. "You keep being you and everything will be wonderful."

"I... Do you really think so?" He asked softly, almost afraid.

"I _know_ so, Harry. The simple fact that the baby's welfare is foremost in your mind proves it. The fact that you care about being a good man, a good father proves it. We'll go find some books, do some research. We still need information, since this is new to both of us, but information alone can't make you what you aren't. For us, it will just help us figure things out along the way. You're already a brilliant man, and you're going to be a brilliant father because of it."

"I hope so. I wasn't kidding about how lost I'd be without you, Hermione. Merlin, I'd be dead a hundred times over without you. I know you're going to be a brilliant mother, and I have that to live up to."

She barked a laugh. "I think I'm going to be terrible, so that just means we're the same. I'll depend on you to let me know if I am being terrible. Just not in front of the kids please." She kissed him.

Harry hugged her tight to him. "Kids..." He repeated. "I like the sound of that."

"I'm so happy being with you, Harry. I... I have to admit, I'm more than thrilled, but also more than a little scared."

He chuckled and kissed her neck. "Me too. Over the moon and completely terrified."

"One day at a time. Watch each other's backs. Stick together and we'll be fine. Same as always." She smiled at him.

He rested his forehead against hers. "You're amazing, Hermione. I should have told you that a long time ago."

"Yes you should have." She grinned and kissed the end of his nose. "But I'll settle for every day for the rest of my life."

He took a deep breath, smelling her hair and skin and let her fill him up. "I was going to go to the shops as soon as you woke up to get some books for research, but it's dark out and the clock says it's nearly eleven, so..." He stood up with her in his arms and set her gently on the bed. "First thing in the morning we can grab a few books, some breakfast, and then go parent hunting. Sound good?"

"Sounds wonderful. There's only one thing wrong."

"What? What is it?" He frowned, clearly trying to think of anything that might be wrong.

"You've still got clothes on."

He smiled at her and shook his head, not believing he fell for that. "Well that's because you haven't taken them off yet."

* * *

Wendell Wilkins loved his life, really he did. He lived in a beautiful place, he was married to a beautiful woman who loved him as much as he loved her, and he found his work rewarding and satisfying. He was his own boss, his wife was her own boss, and together they ran an efficient, lucretive practice. He had everything he'd wanted, everything he'd worked for.

He really had no idea why he felt something was missing.

It wasn't as if he had forgotten something, either. He had completed an inventory of all their possessions when they moved last year. All their equipment for the practice was under constant inventory control. He double-checked with Monica last night that he wasn't forgetting anything she had asked of him, and as he thought, he hadn't.

It was just a feeling. Not a nagging 'you've forgotten something' feeling either. It was like an emptiness inside him. It had a shape, like something had been there once and now wasn't, but he couldn't tell what the shape was, so he had no idea what might be missing. It was a vexing feeling. It was only ever a quiet background feeling, so it was only really when he was still and calm that he really noticed it. Still, he had noticed it, and when things were quiet, it grated on him.

"That's it for today, Doctor Wilkins." Sherry said as she walked past. "Your four o'clock just cancelled."

He smiled and nodded at the receptionist. "Thank you Sherry!" He put away the sterile instruments first, then stowed the drill bits and polishing compounds and rinses and fluoride pastes. He peeled off the nitrile gloves and tossed them, then washed up. Sherry was back at the front desk when he walked out.

"I'm off then." He said as he passed. "See you in the morning."

"Good night, doctor." Sherry smiled.

The drive home was less than ten minutes, and one of the reasons he loved the town they lived in. It was big enough to have an active town center, and small enough to be comfortable and not congested.

Monica was already home when he arrived, and that put a smile on his face. Maybe he'd cook something nice, set the table with some candles and flowers. He did love to see her when she woke up satisfied. He stopped quickly at the florist, and was still home inside ten minutes.

"You're home early." She said from the sofa. She was curled with her legs under her, nose in a book and a glass of red next to her on the side table.

"My four o'clock cancelled. I thought I might make us a nice dinner. A little carbonara, some wine, some candlelight..." He handed her the bouquet he had behind his back, and went to fill a vase so they could sit on the table. She put the flowers in the vase after he set it on the table, and took a moment to arrange them to her liking.

He kissed her cheek, but she stopped him and kissed him fully and squeezed his behind, then spun away and took her seat on the sofa again with a smile.

"Saucy." He grinned at her.

* * *

"I feel better." Harry said as they exited The Book Grocer hand in hand.

"I think that's the first time I've ever seen you exit a book shop with a smile." Hermione teased.

"These books I actually want." He smiled at her. "I kind of wish we could go back to first year and start again, just you and me, and actually try to do well. I do feel a little bad about it now."

"Really?" She raised her eyebrows.

"I didn't focus hardly at all. I let myself be led by the poorer influences because I'd never had friends before. I didn't really understand I should be asserting myself. Not until later."

"Well, you know now, and I'm thrilled with your newfound drive." She kissed his cheek. They crossed the street to Town Hall building, and up the stairs into the library. The place itself was very sleek, with white flooring and furniture. It wasn't a particularly large library, but they weren't there for books. Hermione led him over to the banks of computers. She sat in front of one and opened a browser window. She typed in an address and then typed in what she was looking for. Seconds later, there was a list of results.

"That's amazing." Harry whispered to her."We have to get one of these. Will you show me how to use it if we do?"

"Of course, Harry. I think it's a good idea as well, the internet is only going to get better." She clicked on a link, and it showed a list of people named Wilkins in Australia. It was a phone book for the entirety of Australia, not just Sydney. She scrolled the screen downward, and near the end found Wilkins, W & M. There weren't any others that were W & M.

"That's most likely them." She said, and wrote down the name of the town.

"Toowoo... Toowooba?"

"Toowoomba." She corrected. "Hopefully that's them. Let's see where Toowoomba is." She opened another browser and typed the name of the town in, and clicked on a map. That map was very small and didn't show much detail, so she closed that one and opened another that was larger and had lots of detail. "It's west of Brisbane. It's five hundred miles up the coast."

"Are there any pictures of Toowoomba? I can do Hogwarts to London. That's over five hundred."

She typed 'pictures of Brisbane' into the browser, and a number of nice pictures.

Harry pointed at one. "There, that's the town hall, we can do that."

Hermione nodded. "We should go check out of the hotel then."

Harry nodded. "Can you look up something halfway between here and there? Coff's Harbour maybe? Any landmarks there?"

She turned back to the computer and did another search, and came up with pictures of a fun park famous for it's enormous banana. It was easy to picture.

"That's good." He whispered as he kissed her head. "I thought better of it because it's all of us. Safer to go in two jumps."

They walked the two blocks back to the Hilton, but didn't bother going back to the room. Everything they had was in Hermione's beaded bag, so there wasn't any point. Harry paid at the desk as they checked out, and they headed to the public restroom.

Harry closed the door behind them as they both crowded into one of the stalls. "You ready?" He asked.

"I hope so, I'd rather not vomit on you."

Harry grinned. "I'm washable. Besides, it would be just one more of your fluids I've had on me."

Hermione snorted. "Prat. Just go." She grinned, but Harry saw the pink in her cheeks.

Harry cast notice-me-not on them, then kissed her forehead. "I love your fluids."

They Apparated with a soft pop, and appeared in front of a thirty-foot banana with the words "The Big Banana" on it.

"That's a big banana." Hermione said, then they Apparated again and appeared in front of the Toowoomba town hall.

"All okay?" Harry asked immediately.

"Yes, we're both fine." She kissed his cheek and looked around. "There's a hotel just over there."

"Brilliant." Harry held her hand as they walked the block to the Shamrock Hotel.

"Good morning." The man behind the counter greeted them when they walked in.

"Good morning." Hermione smiled.

"We'd like a room please." Harry asked.

"Lovely!" The man said, and tapped some keys on the keyboard in front of him. "How long will you be staying and do you have a preference for room type?"

"Two days to start with, you think?" Harry asked Hermione.

She nodded. "We can always add more on."

"Tonight and tomorrow night, and single room with a large bed please." Harry said.

"Your names?" The man asked.

"Howard and Hestia Black." Harry answered.

The man tapped some more keys on the computer, then pulled a room key with a large plastic tag attached to it that had 214 on it in big black numbers. He slid the key across the counter to them.

"Two fourteen, just up the stairs to the left there." He pointed out the door they had come in.

"Thank you, mister...?" Hermione said.

"Gordon Roddy. Just Gord though." He smiled.

"Thank you Gord." Hermione smiled back. "We're here for some dental work from out of town, I don't suppose you'd know where Wilkins Dental is?"

"Crikey!" Gord said with a grin. "They're just up Ruthven street here out front, then left up Margaret, across the bridge and just past the mall on the opposite side. Lovely couple, my wife and I get all our work done there."

"We've heard good things as well, that's why we came." Harry smiled. "Thanks for the info."

Gordon nodded. "No worries. I won't say enjoy it, but it'll be good as it can be."

Hermione smiled as she and Harry left out the door again and up the stairs toward their room. She smiled at the though that her parents - if they were her parents - were well-liked by the community. She knew they were good dentists, she'd known that her whole life. It was something else to find that they carried good practice and good will with them. She chewed her thumbnail as she waited for Harry to open the door.

The room was clean and decent, with a queen sized bed in the center. There was a TV and small coffeemaker on the desk with some packets of coffee waiting. It was a well-run hotel, but the 'hotel smell' lingered in the background, beneath the perfumed cleaning products. Harry closed the door behind her, and enfolded her in his arms. She stiffened, not expecting it, and then relaxed and hugged him back.

"You only chew your nail when you're really stressed. Talk to me." He said. He held her head to his chest and stroked her hair, and she calmed despite herself.

"We're close." She sighed. "We don't know if they are my parents, but if they are, then we just follow them home and... somehow..."

"Easy. I'll come up with a way to distract them and keep their attention focused on me. You just keep calm, keep breathing, and focus on your parents. You know what to do, you know how to do it. Just relax and focus. You're brilliant and you'll be fine, Hermione."

She relaxed and snuggled into him. "You're right, of course. When it's time I won't let my emotions get in the way, it's just... I miss them. I know they're going to be angry. Angry and hurt."

"That's why after we confirm it's them - or not them - I should go to Gringotts straightaway and get us some muggle identifications and maybe a credit card or something. If it is them, we'll get a nice little house close to your parents and just be a family. If it's not them, we continue on and find them, then get a nice little house close to your parents and just be a family."

She squeezed him tightly and smoothed his hair back from his face. "Love you." She smiled.

"Love you." He smiled back, then noticed her smile had turned to a frown. "What is it?"

She pulled his head down, and smoothed his hair back away from his face as she inspected his hairline on both sides of his forehead. Her frown didn't go away.

"Harry, your scar is gone."

It was Harry's turn to frown. "What?" He let go of her and strode to the large mirror over the dresser on the far wall. He pulled his hair back and checked his hairline. She was right, his forehead was smooth and unblemished by any marks at all.

Hermione took her wand out and cast a few things at him. "You don't have any glamours or anything on you, you're completely clean. Your scar is just gone, like it never existed." She pulled his shirt up and looked at his torso. "You still have these scars though. And the one from the basilisk fang."

"Did I have it yesterday?" He asked, deep in thought.

"Yes. Well... maybe? I didn't look. I know you definitely had it when you woke up in the hospital, I remember looking at it before bawling my eyes out."

"Weird. I wonder what -" Harry's eyes went wide, and he grabbed her left arm and pulled her sleeve up. Her forearm was smooth and unblemished and beautiful.

Hermione frowned, wondering what he was doing, but when she saw her arm her hand went to her mouth and tears filled her eyes.

"Dark magic." Harry said. "Something we did in the last two days purged us of dark magic and healed us." He pulled her forearm up and kissed the spot where her scar had been.

"Well there's only two things we've done in the last two days that it could have been - the wedding or the house rings. The sex was pretty magical, but we did that before you woke up, so I know that's not it." She kissed his cheek.

"Whatever it was, I'm ecstatic you don't have to carry _that_ _word_ around with you. That angered me no end. I wanted to kill her myself."

She wrapped her arms around him again. "It was just a scar, Harry. It didn't mean anything. To me it was just a reminder that ignorance and hatred go hand in hand. In the end the pureblood nonsense is just another symptom of the stupid side of human nature. A reminder to learn and grow and be more than our base selves."

Harry was quiet for a while, he just held her and rocked side to side slightly.

"It's never going to end." He whispered finally. "We can stay here and be happy as a family, go unnoticed and just live... or we can go back and fight the ignorance, intolerance and hatred. We'll be targets again, and we may win, but it will be a lifelong fight. It may be a fight we hand off to our children. I... I don't know if I want that for them."

"If we don't fight, if we don't push back against it, we leave them a world no better than it was when we came to it."

He looked at her and smiled, then kissed her. "I know. Right now it doesn't matter, we have more pressing matters, but we'll talk about it. I truly am torn and unsure what would be best in the long run. As long as whatever we decide to do we do it together, I'll be happy with that."

"Good. Me too. Are you ready to go see if we found my parents?"

Harry nodded. "Nervous, and excited."

She smiled. "Good. Me too."

It took them fifteen minutes to walk the few blocks. It was a nice two-story building of red brick amongst a dozen others just like it, and only distinguished from the others by the sign over the door that read "Wilkins Dental". Harry held the door for her as they entered.

"Good morning, welcome to Wilkins Dental." The receptionist greeted them.

"Good morning." Hermione smiled at her. "My husband and I are new to the area and just shopping around for medical services. Do you have time to tell us about the practice?"

Harry nudged Hermione's elbow and nodded to a signboard on one wall with pictures of a man and a woman and name plaques beside the pictures that listed their credentials.

Hermione gasped when she saw it despite herself, and made a quick nod to Harry, then turned back to the receptionist with a smile.

They carried on a normal conversation and received brochures about the services available, and left a few minutes later, but Harry could tell Hermione was quivering with the strain the whole time.

When they had exited the building and were alone in the parking lots, she whispered "That's them." She breathed heavily and clung to him.

"Only one little bit left to do then." He wrapped his arms around her and held her for a long moment.

Hermione wrapped her arms under his and clung to him with her hands on his shoulders from behind, and let go of the tears she'd been holding in.

"I can't help it, Harry. What if I'm doing more harm than good to them? What if they're happy and better off as they are?"

"Rubbish." He said with his lips on her hair. "There is no life you've touched that isn't better because of it. You're bloody brilliant. If you suddenly forgot our little one, wouldn't you do anything to get him or her back? No matter what?"

"Yes." She said without hesitation. "I'd be frantic."

"For that matter, I'm fairly certain they'll want to be part of his or her life as well. That's two lots of magic they'd be missing, you and the baby."

"It feels kind of creepy following them home." She said after a moment.

"No, it feels really creepy. How else are we going to get them alone in private though?"

"I know it's probably the best way, it just feels a little icky."

"Yes it does. How long have we got until they're done for the day?"

"The receptionist's schedule said their last appointment is four in the afternoon."

"Let's go to Gringott's then and get our identification and whatnot worked out, we can Apparate back here for then. That way we can - well, _you_ can undo their memory changes, then when you're visiting with them tomorrow I can pop out and get us a house."

Hermione nodded. "Alright. I'd just be wandering around town for six hours stressing otherwise."

Harry took out his wand and concealed them from muggle sight, then Apparated them back to Sydney, taking two jumps again.

Hermione cast a quick _Magum Revelio_ when they arrived, and they found a concentration of magic in the downtown core. It was a short walk, and the entrance to the magical portion of Sydney was in the back room of shop that sold crystals and incense and things, called The Dreamtime.

Magical Sydney turned out to be much like magical London, except larger, brighter, and much more friendly.

Inside Gringott's, they were introduced to their Australian Affairs Manager, Flense.

"How may I assist you, Lord and Lady Potter?" She asked.

"We're needing muggle identification, Australian first, but likely British as well. We'd also like to acquire a muggle credit card. Does Gringott's work through any established muggle banks?" Hermione said.

Flense merely opened a drawer in her desk and took out two large envelopes, then slid one to each of them. "Gringott's does work through several muggle banks. It will take me a moment to procure the required credit card, the fees and payment for which will automatically be converted to galleons and extracted from your vault. Gutspike took the liberty of preparing those packages for you, in anticipation of your need. Please excuse me a moment." She quickly strode from her office, and returned a few minutes later. Harry and Hermione had looked at their passports, driver's licenses, birth certificates and health cards for both countries, and were sitting quietly holding hands when she returned.

"Here you are." Flense said as she placed a plastic card in front of each of them. One card had Harry's name on it beneath a long number, and the other Hermione's.

Harry picked his up and put it into his dragonskin wallet. "Thank you, Flense." He stood and bowed to her.

Hermione did the same. "Thank you."

"Thank you," Flense replied. "It was a beautiful wedding. May your happiness flow as well as your gold."

Harry flashed her a grin as they left.

"I guess we're famous among goblins now?" Hermione asked when they got outside the bank.

"I guess. I did have a question for you, though. It occurred to me when I saw your name on the card - do you want to be Hermione Jean Potter? Or maybe Granger-Potter? Or just stay Granger?"

She stopped in her tracks. "That's a good question, honestly. I hadn't thought about it." She bit her lip the way she did when she was thinking deeply, and it tugged at his heart the way it always did. "I want to be Hermione Jean Potter." She said firmly. "I know you won't ever put pressure on me to conform to your family because I already am your family, so I don't need to retain my own name as a way of keeping my independence."

"I love your independence."

"I know." She grinned. "Plus, this way we have the same initials."

Harry laughed and hugged her. "We will, too! I hadn't even thought of that."

"Besides, I like being called Missus Potter. It feels good."

Harry beamed at her. "Well then, Missus Potter, shall we get a bite of something and then peruse a few bookstores?"

She kissed him. "Brilliant."

They passed the remaining five hours eating and reading. Harry was fascinated by the contents of 'What to Expect When You're Expecting', and devoured it. Hermione got less reading done, though she did read through a couple of chapters on memory charms and their reversal, just to brush up. A significant portion of her time was spent watching Harry and his changing expressions as he read. She smiled quietly to herself as she wound a curl around her finger and tried to focus on anything but how gloriously sexy Harry was while studying intently.

She reached her limit by half past three, and put her book away back on the shelf. She loved how the book shops here had cafes and reading areas inside them. It was genius. She then barged her way into Harry's arms and sat on his lap. it took three kisses to make him put the book down, but he was smiling for the last two.

"Alright, alright. I can get back to this later." He smiled at her and put the book back in her beaded bag. "Shall we go then?"

"The sooner we deal with my parents the sooner we can be alone." She blushed, but didn't try to hide her desire.

Harry kissed the side of her head. "Told you you were brilliant."

She stood up so he could, and they made their way out of the book shop. As soon as they were outside, Harry Apparated them to the Big Banana and then back to the parking lot of her parents' practice.

They only had to wait fifteen minutes before Hermione's mother came outside to her car. Harry re-cast their Notice-me-not and Disillusioned them both, then Apparated them into the back seat of her car.

It wasn't much of a drive, only about seven minutes, but the town was beautiful, even the town center. Hermione's mother drove into a very nice suburb called Rangeville, and less than half a minute later, into a driveway on Boshammer street.

"We should stay like this, unseen. I'll undo their memory charm and we can get out again. Leave a note and come back tomorrow." Hermione said after her mother had exited the car.

"I don't think that's a good idea and neither do you." Harry objected. "If they suddenly remember you their first thought is going to be getting to you or at least contacting you, same as yours would be if you suddenly remembered me. We could definitely sneak in like this, work the charm, and then sneak out again to show up on the doorstep. I'd go along with that."

Hermione sighed. "I know. You're right. I just... nervous and scared."

Harry patted the space next to him until he felt her, then slid his hand down her arm to take her hand. "Relax and breathe, Missus Potter. The sooner we get them back the happier we'll both be. I love you, Hermione. Your parents love you."

Her hand brushed across his chest and she climbed into his lap and held him to her. She could feel his heartbeat with her chest pressed against his left side. Slowly, gradually, they synchronized until there were two hearts with one beat.

"Thank you Harry." She whispered. "I want to go back in time and throttle myself for not demanding you be my boyfriend when I was twelve. It hasn't been a week and I have no clue what I'd do without you." She kissed his neck. "Let's go get our family."

"We can't yet, your dad isn't ho..." A silver Mercedes drove up beside them and Hermione's father got out and went in the house. "...oome yet. Okay, let's go get our family." He Apparated them into the house, and Hermione cast _Silencio_ on their feet.

"As soon as you finish, I'll Apparate us to just outside the front door." He whispered so only she could hear.

She squeezed his hand in agreement.

Wendell and Monica Wilkins looked like a nice couple. Hermione's mother had dark brown hair, nearly black, and Hermione's warm chestnut eyes. Her father had brown hair as well, with slight highlights of auburn, and his hair was kept short, but it was immediately apparent that's where Hermione's frizzy tendencies came from.

Her mother was on the sofa, legs curled beneath her, and it tugged at Harry's heart she looked so much like an older Hermione as she read a medical journal. Hermione had her mother's cheekbones and nose, but the shape of her face came from her father. She was a perfect blend of the best traits of the two people in front of them, and it confirmed what Harry already knew. Hermione was one in a billion.

Mister Wilkins appeared in the living room from up the stairs, in different clothes than what he'd come home in. He wore baggy shorts and a t-shirt around the house, apparently. He crossed the room and kissed his wife, and beside him, Harry heard a quiet "_Commemini!_"

The air around both their heads seemed to twist and a slight glow came from behind their eyes. It only lasted a second, and left both the Grangers looking at each other and their home in confusion.

"What-?" Her mother asked.

"Where-?" Her father asked.

Harry Apparated them to the front porch and looked around quickly. He cast a visibility ward on the porch so they wouldn't be seen appearing out of thin air when he dropped the disillusionment and Notice-me-not.

Hermione's face was scrunched up, holding back tears when he could see her again, so he reached out and pressed the doorbell.

The door opened and Mr. Granger stood there, shock on his face.

"Daddy?" Hermione asked in a small voice.

* * *

Malcolm Granger stood quietly with his wife of twenty years, trying for the life of him to piece together how in hell he'd come to be wearing his 'slobaround' gear in someone else's house. Eleanor was equally confused. She had been in her favorite comfortable reading pose, and clearly relaxed and at home. Yet, they were in someone else's house.

The doorbell rang then, and a stab of panic shot through him. Was he trespassing in someone else's home? Was that them? Were they about to be arrested?

He held a hand out to tell Eleanor to stay put, and cautiously made his way to the front door. His shoes were there, looking for all the world like he'd just come home from work, and he didn't see any shoes he didn't recognize on the rack. He peeked through the window in the front door, but couldn't see anyone. They must be too close to the door. On the up side, he didn't see any police cars either.

He gripped the handle and made a silent wish to not be arrested, then opened the door. His daughter stood there. He knew it was her. Something slammed home inside him, like a tectonic plate thunderously slipping into a stable position. Something was wrong though. Something was off. He knew his baby girl better than anyone, and he knew straightaway something was wrong. She was whole, she was healthy, but there had been something. He had missed something. Her face was a little older. More mature. Her figure slightly rounder. Less teen, more twenties. Her eyes had new depth to them.

"Daddy?" She asked in a small voice.

"Hermio -" He didn't have time to even finish her name before she slammed into him and squeezed him hard enough to make his ribs creak.

"I love you too, Queenie." He told her.

"Let's go inside, we have a lot to talk about." She said when she let him go.

He couldn't really argue the fact, but he did wonder if hanging out in a strange house was a good idea.

"Daddy, this is Harry. Harry, my dad Malcolm Granger." She said. He had wondered about the lad standing there if he was honest. He knew that name though. Wasn't the boy she wrote about constantly for years named Harry?

Harry stuck out his hand, so Malcolm shook it. At least the lad had a good firm handshake.

"Yes, well. No sense standing on the porch, come in, come in." He told them.

Hermione entered first, followed closely by Harry. Eleanor and Hermione crashed together halfway between the door and the sofa, and Eleanor smoothed Hermione's hair down and kissed her head over and over.

"I missed you mum." She said when she let go.

"I missed you too, dear." Eleanor said. "Who's your friend?"

"Mum, this is Harry, Harry, my mum Eleanor Granger."

"Pleased to meet you finally, Ma'am." Harry said, and stuck is hand out.

Instead of shaking it, she turned to Hermione. "Is he _that_ Harry?"

Hermione lit up from within as she blushed a bright, deep pink. "Yes mum, there's only one Harry."

"Well then, it's a pleasure to finally meet you as well, Harry." She said as she swept him into a hug.

Malcolm frowned. Yes, Hermione had been going on about the boy for ages, but Eleanor didn't hug hardly anyone. Did she know something he didn't? He started to think maybe she did, and it sparked a flame in his chest. If this kid had done something to his baby girl...

"I would love to say it's wonderful to have you home again, dear, but I'm not even sure where we are. It certainly isn't home."

"That's what I need to talk to you about. Please, sit down. You too dad." Hermione seemed... commanding. Adult. In control. He felt a pride begin to clash with his anger. Never one to _not_ humor his daughter, he sat beside Eleanor and waited for Hermione to continue.

"You remember I told you about the dark wizard who was supposedly dead but wasn't really?"

"I... Sort of?" He said. "It wasn't very clear."

"On purpose, daddy. In case the letters were being read."

"Oh. That's not right." He frowned harder.

"No, but it's also not the half. That dark wizard did come back to life, and gathered his followers. Horrid, horrid people who loved to torture and murder and rape and thought of people with no magic like yourselves as nothing but sheep for sport."

Eleanor gasped. "And these people are allowed to just roam free?"

"There are police, but this dark wizard was a lot like Hitler, and his message was very seductive to certain people. He had followers inside the Ministry who helped them make raids on people like you and dad and me. Even if we were in a protected home."

"Bloody hell." Malcolm said. "We had no idea it was so serious! We're getting the hell out of England immediately!"

Eleanor gripped his hand and nodded.

Hermione looked at the floor the way she'd always done when she was guilty. Harry stepped forward and rubbed his hand on her back. She looked at him, and they shared a conversation in a glance.

_They shared a conversation in a glance_.

The flame inside him raged. They had _definitely_ done something. Little bastard!

"You're in Australia, daddy." Hermione took support and comfort from Harry's gaze, and returned to looking like a proud, confident woman. "The war is also over now. The dark wizard and most of his horrid ilk are dead or in prison.

"We're... Why are we in Australia?" Eleanor asked.

"Those followers -one of their favorite things to do is harm the families of those fighting them. The best way - the _only_ way I could protect you was to remove myself from your memories. I changed your memories and your names and moved you here. You live here, you have a practice here. This is your house."

"You did _WHAT_?" He thundered. It didn't help that the little bastard kept touching his baby, but Hermione had rooted around in his head? In Eleanor's!?

"It was the only way, daddy. I had to keep you safe."

Malcolm stood, his hands clenching and unclenching as his jaw worked to contain his anger.

"What exactly did you do to us, Hermione?" Eleanor was angry too. She only ever used that icy tone when she was livid. Usually at him.

"I altered your memories. Changed your names. Removed myself. Changed every picture of me in the house to not show me. I'm sorry mum, but I had to. It worked. You're safe, you're well-liked in the community, and you were always who you were, just... without me to endanger you. I couldn't protect you any other way."

He could see Eleanor analyzing the information.

"There's more, too mum. Nothing about you, but about me. Me and Harry..."

Hermione pulled out her wand, and waved it over herself. She shimmered briefly, then _expanded_. Her stomach bulged and her breasts grew, but she didn't put any fat on her face. She wasn't fat. She was pregnant.

"YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" Malcolm yelled. He threw as much rage as he could behind the punch, and felt _good_ when it connected solidly with Harry's jaw. Shouting started behind him, but he ignored it.

Harry hit the floor, but Malcolm wasn't done with him. He reached down and grabbed the front of his shirt to hold him in place for another, but for some reason he couldn't move.

* * *

Harry reeled from the unexpected blow. He knew Mister Granger would be angry. Of course he'd be angry. He hadn't counted on Mister Granger being affected by the elapsed time. He probably still thought Hermione was sixteen. Mister Granger picked him up by the front of his shirt, but couldn't land another blow. Behind him, Hermione had her wand pointed at him and Mr. Granger locked in place. Harry had to smile at her silent _Immobilus_. Brilliant witch. Brilliant.

She came over to him and touched his cheek. It was already tender, but he didn't think anything had broken.

"Are you alright love?" She asked him, frightened. He stood up and removed his shirt from Mister Granger's frozen fist, then carried the immobile man back to the sofa.

"I'm alright, Hermione." He said as he straightened. "It's just another scar to me. Besides that, the poor man doesn't understand he's only hurting you. Are you alright?"

Hermione kissed his cheek where her father had punched him. "A bit shocked, but fine."

Missus Granger took a deep breath and let it out. "Why don't you continue, dear, and fill us in on what we've clearly missed."

She nodded to her mother and launched into the tale of the end of the war, the Battle of Hogwarts, the final death of Voldemort - with a small backtrack to fill in the hunt for Tom's anchors. Then the aftermath, the burying of the dead and the mourning of the people they'd lost. She dipped into her 'relationship' with Ron briefly before describing what had happened during their grocery run and the ensuing four months of coma and research.

Missus Granger looked surprised to hear Hermione talking about her feelings for him, the ones she'd repressed before he'd awakened, but seemed to understand why Hermione had 'sort of raped' him.

Hermione dripped tears when she told her mother about finding out there was no cure for his condition and her refusal to accept that end, and again when she described his awakening and admission that he loved her as well.

"So then the first thing we did was get married - just a magical marriage, we are planning on having a real wedding soon, but we had to come and find you first. I'm so sorry mum, I've been so scared to come and see you, knowing what a horrible thing I did to you and dad."

Missus Granger stood and wrapped Hermione in her arms. Hermione immediately broke into sobs. Missus Granger smoothed her hair and held her again, and Harry understood why she liked it so much when he did it.

"Nonsense, dear. You did what you had to do. You protected your family. Your father and I are a little put out, of course, but I think that's mostly because that's supposed to be our jobs, not yours. I'm proud of you, Hermione. So very proud. You stood up and fought real life horrors at terrifying risk to yourself. Then you sacrificed your own life to preserve Harry. You're a real-life hero, Hermione. I'm terrified of the things you've seen and done, but immeasurably proud."

Hermione held her mother and cried, unable to speak for minutes. Even harry had tears in his eyes imagining his own mother saying something like that.

"Thanks mum." Hermione said finally.

"_Accio tissue_." Harry pulled a tissue from the box on the side table and handed it to Hermione.

"Thank you too." She smiled and kissed him before she dried her eyes and blew her nose.

"Could you do something about your father, dear?"

Hermione nodded. "Sorry." She released the spell on her father, and he relaxed into the sofa.

Mister Granger immediately stood. Instead of attacking, however, he stuck out his hand at Harry.

"Sorry, Harry. It appears I was in the wrong again. I don't like that my baby girl is pregnant, but that clearly wasn't your fault. I shouldn't have attacked you, I apologize." He said.

Harry shook the hand. "I imagine my own reaction in your shoes might be very similar."

"Ha!" Mister Granger laughed sarcastically. "I'm the adult, and you're the one showing wisdom and compassion, son. You must be all of what? Fifteen? Sixteen?"

"Uhh... Actually, I'm eighteen. It's Nineteen Ninety-Eight, sir."

Mister Granger's eyes widened. "My baby is nineteen?"

"Not for another couple weeks, daddy." Hermione said as she stepped in to hug him again. "Thank you for apologizing."

"Nonsense, dear. It's the right thing to do when you're wrong."

"I missed you dad." She smiled.

"Actually, that reminds me." Harry said. "Could I see your identifications please? Driver's license, passports, bank cards, credit cards, library cards? Everything you have."

Mister Granger frowned, but fetched his wallet from upstairs anyway.

"What for Harry?" Missus Granger asked.

"To change your names. With a small compulsion on them for whoever is viewing them to think that the card is correct and the name is wrong in the computer. Should get you set to use your own names again. Will have to do it on the plaque in your office too."

"You can do that?" Missus Granger seemed surprised.

"It's a simple spell, mum. I can't wait to show you everything now that we're allowed to do magic."

"Your daughter is the smartest, most talented, most brilliant, most powerful witch in Britain." Harry said with a grin.

"And you're not biased at _all_." Hermione grinned and kissed him.

"Most beautiful, too." Harry grinned at her, and her cheeks pinked.

Harry worked on Mister Granger's identifications, Hermione worked on her mother's, and they were finished in a few minutes.

"It really is amazing what you can do." Mister Granger said, awe evident in his voice.

"This is nothing, dad. We'll give you a proper show later. We should probably ward the house later as well." Hermione said as she looked at Harry. Harry nodded back. It was a good idea.

Harry ticked items off with his fingers. "Go to dinner, Ward the house, buy our own house, check out of the hotel, furnish our house, plan a wedding, and spend time with your mum and dad. Did I miss anything?"

"Buying your own house could take a while, you can stay here until then. We have a guest room. it would help us get to know you, Harry." Missus Granger said.

"We need to get some kind of international mail thing happening as well, so we can write Neville and Luna again and let them know more." Hermione added. "Let's start with dinner and sleep though. Mum, dad, would you come to dinner with us please? Also, if you could suggest a restaurant..."

"I'll go change." Mister Granger said, and trudged up the stairs again.

"Also, you can pick up the bill, Hermione." Harry leaned toward Missus Granger with a conspiratorial whisper. "Turns out your daughter is also one of the richest witches in Britain. She has her own island in the Bahamas."

"_WHAT_?!" Hermione and her mother both demanded in unison.

* * *

Ginny's head hovered in the green flames, but her eyes looked at the floor.

"I thought Ron told you." She lied.

When had her youngest become such a horrible person? _Lying_ right to her face!

"You've visited, of course. How is he?"

"He's in a COMA, mum. He's either still in it or dead."

"That's a very touching, considerate attitude! How was he when you visited last week then? How was Hermione? The poor dear must be beside herself with worry. You know she pushes herself too hard."

Ginny's face went flat and angry like a cat's. "I don't care how that bitch is, mum. I'm done with her. She had the gall to insinuate I don't love _my_ Harry. She can rot."

Molly dropped the pretense. "I talked to Luna. She said you only ever visited him once and told her he was a lost cause. That you gave up on Harry because he was no use to you. Honestly, after listening to you lie to my face, I'm inclined to believe her. What happened to you, Ginevra? Luna said you don't talk to her anymore either."

"Oh _fuck off_. I don't have time for this shit." Ginny's head disappeared, and the green flames vanished with a pop.

Molly stood in the living room with her lower lip quivering. A stiff breeze could have blown her over.

She took her wand and went into the back garden and blasted gnomes for an hour until Arthur returned home from work.

"Mol?" He called, "Mol!"

She re-entered the house, still fuming.

"How did it go?" He asked.

"How did it _go_..." Molly growled, her eyes ablaze with fury. "First your youngest son brushes off two people who saved his life multiple times because he 'didn't feel like the hassle'. Then your daughter LIED straight to my face! She called Hermione a bitch, and didn't deny that she'd said she had no use for Harry! When I called her on it, she told me to _FUCK OFF_, and left! As though HER MOTHER was a mere annoyance!"

Arthur's eyes went flat and hard. "I _see_." He said threateningly.

* * *

Neville waved to Susan and Hannah as he entered the Great Hall. Susan waved back, but Hannah did so with a smile.

"Good morning, ladies." He said as he sat at the Hufflepuff table across from them.

"Mornin' Nev." Hannah said. Susan mumbled something he didn't catch, but clearly she felt like she needed more sleep. It made him wonder what she did when she should be sleeping.

"How's your first week?" He asked instead, just before biting into toast with jam.

"Not terrible." Hannah smiled. "Unlike _some_ people, I like to keep fit and _get to bed on time_."

Neville had to admit he loved watching these two pick at each other. They were best of friends and had been for years and years before they even came to Hogwarts, and their jabs were always fun and good-natured. Especially when it was Hannah. She was so bright and kind, it was incongruous to see her verbally jousting her friend, and that made it all the funnier.

"I guess the question then is who's keeping you up at night, Susan? Or are you keeping yourself up at night? Hmmm?"

Hannah broke out into fits of laughter at his innuendo, so he took that as hitting fairly close to the mark. he didn't really want to know, obviously, and he hoped she didn't actually _tell_ him, because he would blush furiously and have to go somewhere else until he calmed down. it was one thing to joke, but both Susan and Hannah were beautiful, well-developed girls, and Neville was only human.

Thankfully, Susan just blushed and and called him a git.

Neville finished his toast with a chuckle.

"Mail's here." Hannah noted, her eyes flicking to the ceiling and the owls swooping through the room.

A horned owl landed in front of Neville, and he reflexively fed it a half rasher before taking the message from the holder on its leg. The owl flew off again immediately.

"Love note from a secret admirer, Nev?" Susan leaned over the table and raised her eyebrows at him in an attempt at revenge. Sadly for her, Neville had had a full night's rest and felt healthy and fully awake.

"Everyone knows you're my only admirer, Sue, and you're not very secret about it." He winked at her, and Hannah dissolved into giggles again.

"Ugh." Sue said. "I give up, I'm going to class." She picked up her bag and stalked away before Neville even had the chance to open the message.

**Dear Neville**

**We bought a house! Can you imagine?! It's a small place just for Hermione and I, but it's rapidly becoming wonderful. We had a floo connection installed, including an international destination to Potter House in Dorset, so now whatever mail you want to send, just send it to Potter House and Cassi will send it through to here.**

**We found Hermione's parents! They're fine. It took a couple of days, but they're loving having her back in their lives again, and it's a wonderful thing to watch. They've accepted me as well, more than I ever thought they would, especially after her dad punched me in the face when we met. It feels strange to have a family after so long with just you guys. I mean, you guys are family too, but... you know what I mean!**

**Speaking of! I'm planning a birthday get-together for Hermione's birthday next week. I've written to Headmistress McGonagall as well, asking permission for everyone there that we're inviting to attend. I know you're of age now and don't need permission technically, but I thought she might appreciate being kept in the know. Please write back soon and let me know if you can come, I'll write back again and come collect you and your date (or dates!). The location is a secret, but you'll need swimwear! Also, let me know what's going on there, will you? How is seventh year? Have you started studying for N.E.W.T.s yet? Hermione and I are going to start studying after the wedding and take ours at the Ministry. We both think it would be a shame to put up with all that studying just to ** _ **not** _ ** take them.**

**Have a great day and talk soon!**

**Harry.**

Neville shook his head. "_Damn_ Hermione is good for him." He muttered.

He couldn't believe how _happy_ Harry sounded. It was _completely_ unlike him to be so relaxed and easygoing and sociable, even in a letter.

Right! he had to come up with a gift for Hermione, and then decide who if anyone he wanted to take with him. If he was honest, he might ask Susan and Hannah. He liked them both, he was fairly sure they liked him... the only fly in that ointment was the word "date". Would they take it as a date? Would they both come if they did? Which one would, if not? Would it be better to just invite them as friends? Would either of them be disappointed if he did?

Sometimes, being eighteen sucked.

* * *

"Wot you mean, "_Oh, he's in a coma_?!" George frowned at Ron. "Like 'Oh, yeah he has a blue shirt, it wasn't worth mentioning."

Ron looked over at George. George, who never stopped working for anything or anyone, had stopped working and was standing there while his cauldron overheated, frowning death at him.

"What?" Ron said in a hurt little voice, "Not like he's much good now."

"Excuse me?" George said with a sharp edge to his voice. "Not much _good_ now? Meaning he was _good_ for something before now?"

"Well, he's just lyin' there, inne? He's got whatserface there all the time anyway."

"What's her face? _WHAT'S HER FACE?!_ I can only assume you mean Hermione, and judging from your stupid attitude and red face she decided not to put up with your trollshit anymore. Good for her! How long has Harry been in a coma, Ron?"

Ron shrugged as though trying to dislodge George from his back.

"HOW LONG RON?!" George took a step closer and shouted right at his head. Ron's shoulders came up to protect his head and he stared indignantly at his now-enraged brother.

"Like s...th...ble" He mumbled quietly.

"SPEAK UP!" George shouted again. His hair was beginning to spontaneously spark.

"Like since the battle!" Ron blurted sulkily.

George stood there silently quivering with the urge to punch Ron. "Get out front and watch the shop. I'll be back in a bit." He growled. He went upstairs and threw floo powder into the fireplace, then stepped into the green flames. "The Burrow!" He shouted.

His mother was in the kitchen cleaning up when he arrived, His father in his favourite chair reading the Prophet.

"George! Nice to see - what's wrong, son?" Arthur stood up from his chair when he saw the murderous look on George's face.

"Did you know about Harry?!" He demanded.

"No son. Mol, where'd you put the letter?" He raised his voice so Molly could hear him in the kitchen.

"On the table by the floo!" She replied.

"Go read it, George. That's how we found out."

George crossed back to the table beside the floo and picked up the piece of folded parchment there. He folded it back up and replaced it when he was finished.

"At least we know he's not still in a coma." George said with a calmer voice.

"I've talked to Bill already, he and Fleur are going to see if they can turn up a way to contact Harry at work. Gringott's is sure to know how." Arthur said. "We would have notified you when we heard anything." He laid a hand on George's shoulder.

"Good. We owe Harry so much... everyone does. I still see him fighting Voldemort sometimes when I close my eyes. And then Ron just now let slip 'oh yeah, he's in coma', like it's nothing important."

"Ginny was more mercenary and horrid about it. We've had them both on floo call this morning. I'm currently trying to forget about it and calm down before I do something rash." Arthur said. "When your mother told me what they'd said, I nearly cast them out on the spot."

George's eyebrows shot up. What could Ron and Ginny have said or done to warrant that? On second thought, he didn't want to know. He might just go back there and hex the life out of Ron. "That's... serious."

"If either of them had been here I'd have hit them with such a stinger they'd not have sit for a fortnight." Molly said as she came to hug George.

"Good." George said and hugged his mum. "I should get back, let me know what you find out."

"Will do, son." Arthur said.

George flooed back to the the shop and started his batch of Skiving Sweets over again. He wondered the whole time it was brewing what Magic's name had gotten into Ron and Ginny.

He hoped Harry didn't hate him for not coming to visit.

* * *

For the second time in two days, Neville found himself staring at an owl, though this one was over dinner rather than morning mail. He gave the bird some ham, and unrolled the message to read it.

He didn't recognize the handwriting.

**Hey Neville!**

**Just wondering if you've heard from Harry and Hermione at all? Hermione's birthday is next week and I've no way to get presents to her. Harry and Hermione might not be very happy with my family right now, but that doesn't mean I'd forget her birthday. If I give her presents to you could you see she gets them?**

**Please let me know, Cheers**

**George Weasley.**

Neville shoved as much ham and broccoli into his gob as he could, and headed for the owlery while still chewing. Once there, he fired off a quick note to Harry at Potter House, told him about George's note and what it said, and asked Harry for ideas what to get Hermione for her birthday. Obviously the answer was books, but a little information on what she was interested in at the moment would be helpful.

He just hoped Harry responded quickly so he could get things done. He actually missed Hermione's colour-coded schedules in that respect.

* * *

It wasn't a scream, exactly. It wasn't a shout either, per se. It was the uncontrolled forcing of all the air in her lungs through her voicebox due to abdominal spasms, and it was absolutely Harry's favorite sound in the universe. Her hair was stuck to her forehead and cheeks with sweat. Her skin, from the tops of her gorgeous breasts to the crown of her head was flushed a dark pink, and she panted until another spasm forced more air into that sound. When the series of waves that made that sound had passed, she collapsed limply. Harry kissed her throbbing bud one last time, and it made her limbs twitch.

"No more..." She breathed. "Let me rest... Dear Merlin..."

She rolled onto her side, and Harry crawled up to lie beside her, cuddled into her from behind. He kissed her behind her ear, and she snuggled backward into him, arm wrapped over his and resting on her belly.

"Oh my _GOD_ Harry." She breathed as she calmed down. "I thought you were good at massages..."

"So you liked that then?" He couldn't keep the smug satisfaction out of his voice no matter how hard he tried.

She just elbowed him in the chest weakly.

"It's amazing what you can learn with a little research." Harry said, with a grin. His beard glistened in the sunlight.

"You need more practice. LOTS and LOTS of practice. Forever." She giggled.

He squeezed her gently, and kissed her neck. "Any time you want, Hermione. I _love_ making you make those sounds. I love feeling you clench. I love absolutely everything about you. It makes me... Like growly and hungry and happy and cartwheely on the inside."

Hermione grunted and struggled, but managed to turn over to face him, and kissed him soundly, deeply, and cared not one atom about tasting herself. "I love you so much, Harry I sometimes can't stand it. I feel like I'm going to explode, and yet you make me love you more and more every single day." She kissed him again, then snuggled into his chest. "So if I explode one day it's your fault. Just so you know."

"I guess I'll have to keep giving you lots of little explosions so you don't wipe out half the town. I guess that makes me your safety valve operator."

Hermione giggled, but the giggles grew into full-blown laughs before dying down again.

"My very own Bomb Technician." She kissed him again.

"Destined to defuse you by setting you off constantly. Now _THAT_'s a job I'll do forever." He smiled back at her, and the richness of the love flowing from his eyes made her heart clench.

"I love you too, Hermione. Forever and ever." His voice was a low rumble, and the look in his eyes as he said the words would have turned her insides to jelly if they weren't already. He stroked the hair away from her face and kissed her forehead while she cuddled against him, and she felt his love wrapped around her like a blanket as she drifted to sleep.

Harry cuddled her until he was certain she'd fallen asleep, then carefully extracted himself and pulled the blanket over her.

He silenced his feet and the door as he crept out of the bedroom, and started making breakfast. He knew she'd wake up hungry, and if he was honest with himself, he just plain loved caring for her. He started cutting up some fruit to make a nice fresh fruit cup, then stowed that in the 'fridge' - actually a cleverly disguised Stasis Cabinet - while he made batter for whole-grain pancakes. it put a piece of the sun under his heart to make her breakfast in their kitchen, in their house. He finished the batter and reached for a fyring pan when the floo flared green and a couple of letters came out.

"Thanks, Cassi." He whispered at the fireplace.

He set the frying pan over medium heat and poured the first pancake, then picked up the mail. One was from the Daily Prophet - probably another request for an interview. he set that one aside, and recognized Neville's writing on the other.

**Hey Harry! (Don't show this to Hermione!)**

**I've just had an owl from George Weasley. He says you both might be angry with his family at the minute, but he still wouldn't forget Hermione's birthday, and wanted to know if he could send me gifts to send on to her. I'm not sure who you've invited for Hermione's party, but I would have thought he'd be one of them? True, I never saw him visit, but I thought George was a decent bloke? I'm not sure how things are anymore, so I'll leave that with you.**

**My own question is about what kind of books Hermione would like to read right now? Obviously books are the first choice of gifts for her, but what topics does she fancy right now?**

**Hope you write back soon,**

**Your mate Neville.**

That was a bit of a surprise. Apparently George still thought of them as friends, which raised a number of questions. Did he think they just wouldn't be angry at being abandoned to a coma for four months? Admittedly, that was a very Ron standpoint, and to date George had not ever displayed it. If not, then did he even know about the coma? Harry knew he had been inconsolable after Fred's death, so it wasn't like he could blame George for that grief. Neville said George had said that they might be angry with the Weasleys in general, so George clearly knew he'd been in a coma and abandoned, but George was also not the kind of person to abandon his friends. Was it possible he only just found out? If he'd been neck deep in grief over Fred, it was possible.

Harry flipped the pancake and pulled the desk drawer open to get paper and a pen.

**Hey Neville!**

**Hermione is interested in physical fitness and runes and wizarding traditions related to growing up in wizarding society - things that neither of us would know, being muggle-raised. Thanks for asking!**

**As for George, if you wouldn't mind, tell him he can bring them himself if he can arrange for time off from the store. I'll meet everyone at the Leaky at ten in the morning on Saturday the 19th, and bring you all to the secret location by portkey. Tell him to bring swimwear and a date if desires. He could always transfigure himself some swimtrunks, but a date is a whole different matter! Ha ha!**

**Thanks, Nev!**

**Your mate Harry**

**P.S. Actually, never mind telling George anything, I'll send him a note right now and tell him myself. Need to stop being lazy!**

Harry folded that note up and set it aside, then put the first pancake on a plate and put it in the 'fridge'. He poured the second pancake and started on the note to George.

**Hey George!**

**My apologies for not writing sooner, I've been a little preoccupied. Thank you for remembering Hermione's birthday, that means a lot to me personally. I will happily fill you in on everything that's been going on, but it's best not to put it in print. If you can take time off from the shop, I'll be picking everyone up at the Leaky at ten in the morning on the 19th and taking you all to a secret location for Hermione's party. If you can't take time off from the shop, then we'll pop 'round and take you to dinner some time later. You can send any mail for us to Potter House in Dorset, the head house elf will make sure we get it.**

**Hope you're well,**

**Harry.**

He stuffed both notes in separate envelopes, wrote the names of the recipients on them, then flipped the second pancake. He waited until the second pancake was finished, then put it on the plate with the first and shut them in the 'fridge'. That done, he threw a pinch of powder into the Floo.

"Potter House." He said. The green flames flared, and he stuck his head through.

"Cassi?" He called.

Cassi appeared with a soft pop a second later. "You called, Mas- Harry?"

Harry grinned. "Excellent work, Cassi! Keep trying, you've almost got it!" Cassi looked pleased at the praise, but held her posture, waiting for orders.

"Would you please deliver these two notes? Neville Longbottom will be at Hogwarts, probably in the Gryffindor dorms, and George Weasley will be in Diagon Alley, at Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes."

"Certainly, M - Harry."

Harry grinned. "Thank you so much, Cassi!" He tossed the two envelopes into the flames, and they shot out next to his head on the floor.

"I'll see you Saturday, keep up the brilliant work!" Harry pulled his head back through and waited for the world to stop spinning before he took breakfast to Hermione.

* * *

"So I'll be gone Saturday, would you mind popping into the shop late afternoon and checking if Ron's burned the place down?"

"Of course George. Give them our best." His mother said with a sad smile.

"Actually, you can do it yourself. Harry said if we send messages to Potter House in Dorset that they would get them, so at least we can write now."

"Oh good!" Molly Weasley smiled with joy. "Did he say anything else?"

George shook his head. "No, he said there's more to tell but it was best not to put it in print, but that we'd talk on Saturday. Apparently Hermione told Ron to piss off months and months ago, and he's still sulking about it. Actually called her 'whatserface'."

Molly TSKed. "I don't understand where we went _wrong_ Arthur! What _happened_ to our youngest?!"

Arthur sighed. "I don't know, Mollykins, I honestly don't. I don't even know if there's anything we can do to correct it either. They're out of the house and making their own money. The only things we could do are write a letter to the prophet so everyone knows, or cast them out. I'm honestly not sure if either would have any effect."

"Ginny might care about the Prophet article, but she also wouldn't hesitate to get retribution." George said.

"I think we need to sit them both down and talk to them." Molly said. "Find out what their problems are. Maybe they need a mind healer."

"Maybe Ron just needs to grow up, too. I think as long as they're both nowhere near Harry and Hermione that'd be for the best." George said. "I don't even want to think what it means for Britain if those two decide to stay in Australia."

"It means it will be up to the rest of us to change things for the better." Arthur said sadly. "As we should have done before Harry happened along and didn't."

"Exactly." Molly said. "Bloody doomed."


	4. Chapter 4

**19th September 1998**

**It's your mother's 19th birthday today. In about half an hour I'll go back to England to pick up our friends and take them to the island. Hopefully you'll grow up with us going there for visits on weekends and such. I find it very beautiful there, very peaceful and relaxing. It feels safe and distant from the troubles that have defined our youths. Just like our home here in Australia, it feels like your mother and I (and of course you) could just stay there and live happily ever after.**

**You and your mother and grandmother are out right now getting their hair and nails done. I think your mum is stunningly beautiful even at the worst of times, but I think she is secretly coming to like pampering herself just a little. Even better, it gives her time with her mum, time to repair the connection that was interrupted because of all the nonsense in Britain. I hope that a little of your mum's happiness filters down to you, so you know she feels good.**

**Your Nan and Grandad are in on your mum's surprise with me, and it's brilliant to have them helping. Your Grandad is already on the island, I dropped him this morning, and since there wasn't really anything to do, I expect he's in a hammock sipping a drink, and that makes me grin. When your mum and Nan get done with their girl time, your Nan is going to have your mum read the note I've left for her- it's really a portkey, so your mum will be totally surprised. I'm practically dancing with excitement just thinking about the look on her face. She's going to be shocked and surprised first, then she's going to glare death at me for shocking and surprising her, then she'll relax and be all smiles because everyone cares for her so much. I love your mum so much kiddo, sometimes I can't stand it. Don't tell her this, but sometimes I think there isn't anything I could ever do to be worthy of her love. She's... well, you've heard me say she's brilliant before, but that seems so pale, so meaningless when put next to the reality of her. All I can do is my best, every day, all the time, and hope it's enough.**

**Oops! It's almost time to show up to collect our friends, so I'll close this out now.**

**Love you,**

**Dad.**

Harry tore the letter off the pad of paper and folded in in letter form before sticking it in the box with the others. A pinch of powder and green flames later, he stepped out of the floo in the foyer of Potter House.

"Good morning _Hhhharry_." Cassi popped up beside him.

"Cassi! You did it!" Harry scooped the elf up and spun her around as he laughed. The elf's ear flapped over her eyes, but she laughed as well.

"Thank you!" He said as he put her back down.

"Cassi's pleasure, Mas- Oh fiddlesticks!" Cassi pouted.

Harry laughed again. "Don't force yourself, Cassi, you'll get it. Hopefully we'll be family for a long, long time. You're doing brilliantly, be happy and proud. " Harry grinned at her.

"Cassi will keep trying, Ma...Harry." She smiled cautiously.

"Is everything ready?" He asked.

Cassi nodded vigorously. "The invitations are on the table in the front hall - except for the one you made - and everything else has already been delivered to the island, MHarry. Fritt said the island elves already have all the decorations up, food and drink made and waiting at the arrival point, including the cake."

Harry grinned. "Brilliant! Thanks, Cassi. I'm off to collect people at the Leaky then, I'll talk to you soon."

Cassi didn't say anything else, just bowed as he left.

Harry picked up the addressed envelopes from the table in the front hall and walked out the front door, through the front gardens to get past the wards. He Apparated to the Leaky Cauldron, and waved at Tom as he entered.

"Merlin's magic, it's Harry!" Tom smiled his gap-toothed smile from behind the bar.

The familiar whispered mutterings that included his name behind his back rippled through the place, and though it still rankled, he ignored it. Today was Hermione's birthday, and nothing was going to foul his mood. Not even Rita Skeeter showing up and sitting next to him could shake his happiness today. It was still quarter to ten, so he bought a butterbeer from Tom and took a seat at a booth in the back.

Neville was first to show up, trailing Hannah Abbott and Susan Bones. Harry waved, and they came to sit down with him.

Before anyone could say anything, Harry grinned at Neville. "Nev, you sly dog! When I said date or dates, I didn't know you were such a playboy."

Hannah and Susan both pinked. Neville went lobster red, but still fired back. "Well, now there's no Harry Hero in the castle, someone has to pick up the slack."

Harry laughed and shook hands with Neville and clapped him on the shoulder. "Good one Nev! Good to see you again." He turned to Susan and Hannah, "And you ladies again as well, I apologize for the sexist comment, it was joking only. How have you been? How are things in the castle? N.E.W.T.s going well?"

"Actually yes and no." Susan said. "Nice to see you again as well Harry, sexist comment excluded of course. Truthfully, there aren't enough professors this year. There's still no potions professor or Defense professor -"

"Though I think we all got plenty of training in that already. I don't think there will be anyone who has difficulty with Defense this year." Hannah interjected.

"But... Even though there aren't enough professors, the lot of us have sort of all banded together and are learning and teaching each other from books, so it's actually not turning out too badly. We don't really have any way of gauging how ready we are for the tests, so we're kind of just full-on all the time. It's exhausting, but that's kind of the point." Sue finished.

Harry sat up straighter. "Well, glad to know Hermione and I are in good company then. We're doing the same thing. Neither of us is quite sure what we want to do with ourselves after we pass, but we're both sure we want to pass."

"Nevermind that anyway, what's going on with you?" Hannah asked. "Nev said you were in a coma or something?"

Harry nodded. "For four months, give or take. Some sewage with a dark mark hit me in the back with a curse. One more instance of me being dead without Hermione. She's saved my arse so many times she probably owns it more than I do."

"Where is she, anyway?" Sue asked.

"She's getting her hair and nails done with her mum. She has no idea she's coming to her birthday party. I left a note for her that is actually a portkey, and charmed it to let me know when she picks it up, so we can all get ready to yell 'surprise!'."

"Oh that's _evil_!" Hannah giggled. "I love it!"

"Who's evil?" George asked as he approached. Harry stood and shook his hand before George sat with them. "Harry, good to see you up and about, mate. Sorry for not being there." George looked uncharacterisitcally contrite, almost as though he was afraid of him being mad at him. There was also no trace of humour in his words or visage.

"George, it's okay. I was a little miffed when Hermione told me, but I realized you had your own hell to get through, and it's no slight against you. I get it." Harry didn't even want to think about what it would be like to lose a twin.

"Thanks Harry, but truth is, neither Ron nor Ginny mentioned anything at all. Ron only let it slip two days ago in passing, like he'd forgotten cheese at the shop or something. I won't repeat what he said about it when I pressed him."

"Ouch." Neville said.

"I would be saddened by that, and might be later, but not today. Too much happiness going on today." Harry smiled at George, but his eyes held disappointment as well. "Bringing anyone with you?"

"Angelina. She should be here soon."

"Brilliant!" Harry smiled for real. "You look good together."

George smiled humbly, and Harry recognized the look immediately. Good! Wonderful. He hoped they stayed happy together. Angelina was a great woman, and Harry knew she liked George a lot already just from Quidditch.

"Where are we going, exactly?" Sue asked.

Harry blushed and scraped his fingertips through his hair. "Actually, that's... kind of embarrassing to say, so I'll just let you see when we get there."

"Harry. Mate." Neville raised his eyebrows at Harry. "You should keep the naughty things for when you two are _alone_. Having guests would make things awkward for everyone."

Susan, Hannah, and George all burst out laughing, followed shortly by Harry, after his blush had time to manifest.

"You genuine wanker." Harry grinned at Neville.

"Neville Longbottom, you've made Harrykins blush. I'm bloody impressed!' George shook Neville's hand.

"Thanks, George. It's amazing what a little death-defying battle will do for your self-confidence." Neville grinned.

Angelina and Luna arrived together then, and Angelina sat next to George. Luna stepped up to Harry and pulled him to his feet for a hug.

"Thanks, Luna. I missed you too. How are you?" Harry smiled as he hugged his friend.

"I'm quite well, thank you Harry. I'm glad you are as well. You were dreadfully thin two weeks ago. The tan agrees with you too."

"Thanks." Harry smiled. "I love it in Australia. It's so warm and bright all the time. Hermione and I go jogging every morning just to enjoy it."

"It sounds nice." Luna smiled. She leaned closer and whispered so only Harry could hear. "Can I still be a Maid of Honour if I'm not a virgin? It's been worrying me all week."

Harry held back the chuckle that bubbled up. "Yes absolutely. You'll be fine, Luna, it's just a title. I guarantee no-one will check." He whispered back.

Luna smiled brightly and sat down next to Hannah. Just as Harry returned to his seat, Bill and Fleur approached the table as well. Harry stood again and shook Bill's hand.

"Thank you both for coming." He smiled. Fleur kissed his cheek in greeting, and Harry returned it. "Brilliant, you're all here, we can go." He pulled a length of rope from his pocket and gave one end to Bill, and the other to Susan, who was on the far side of the group. "Everyone grab hold."

Harry waited until everyone was holding the rope, then activated the portkey. After a few seconds of spinning, their feet touched down softly and securely on white sands. Harry stowed the rope back in his pocket with a grin. Banners floated between the trees that said 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY HERMIONE', and the arrival area was flanked by tables covered in white linen tablecloths and laden with snacks and drinks of all kinds, including fresh fruits and pastries. A smaller table held gifts as well, off to the side.

"Where _are_ we?" Angelina asked as she took in the scenery.

"A tropical island in the Bahamas." Harry answered. "Please make yourselves at home. There are lounges and towels and such on the beach, facilities and such are inside the house, or you can use one of the huts along the beach. Enjoy, relax, and have fun. I'll let everyone know when Hermione is inbound so we can all yell surprise and annoy the magic out of her."

"Brilliant." Bill smiled. "Have you figured out yet that you love her?."

Harry grinned. "It took too long, but yeah. I absolutely do. More than anything."

"Awww. That's great! Congratulations, Harry." Hannah smiled. "I'm glad you finally realized it."

"Only took what, six years?" Susan chuckled.

"I'm... extraordinarily dense, I guess." Harry smiled sheepishly. "Umm.. if you see another man wandering around, that's Hermione's dad, just so you know. She'll show up with her mum, right there inside that circle on the sand. When I yell that she's coming, Apparate back here so we can yell surprise. Please."

"Easy enough." Neville nodded. "Is there a spot to change?"

Harry pointed to the shacks in the treeline along the beach. "Just use one of the huts there, they're actually mid-sized houses on the inside. There should be surfboards and other fun stuff inside them as well. Help yourselves! I'm going surfing straight away, we have probably an hour or more to wait."

"What's surfing?" George asked.

"Get your beach kit on, and I'll show you. You're gonna love it." Harry grinned.

* * *

Her mum held her hand while the hairdressers snipped away with the scissors. "I have to admit dear, last week at this time I was extremely dubious about the whole situation. I know you want your education, nothing will stop you from getting it, I know that. My worries for you were the other half of your life, and you've completely outstripped any hopes I had for you. Harry is absolutely wonderful and I'm just over the moon you're both so happy with each other."

"Thanks mum." Hermione squeezed her hand before she let go. "He is the absolute best, and he shows me how much he loves me constantly. Sometimes I can't stand how much I love him back, I feel like I'm going to explode with it."

"Good." Her mum said firmly. "I hope you never stop feeling that way."

Well, she _had_ been going to ask how to deal with the feeling, but... truth be told, she _was_ rather enjoying it. She imagined going back to being without it, and she found it raised the hairs on the back of her neck in panic. Damn harry Potter for making her love him so much it hurt! He'd hijacked the entire rest of her life, and she was looking forward to it with a smile and constant tingles.

Hermione sighed. "Me too honestly. I hope I make him feel the same."

"You do, dear. You do."

"How can you tell?"

"I've seen him watching you sleep. Sometimes he cries with a smile on his face, like he can't keep it all inside. Just like you."

"Mum, stop, you're going to make me cry now."

"You're both going to make me cry, and I'm fine with it." Janine said, looking at both of them in the mirror. "Sounds like one fantastic man."

Hermione smiled back at her as she blinked back the tears. "You have _no_ idea. Best in the world. One of a kind, and I nearly missed him with my stupid fear. It took him nearly dying for me to pull my head out."

"It sounds like you're happy now though, so all for the best. Bring him by and show him off next time." She grinned.

"If she doesn't, I will." Her mum winked at her. "I love him like a son Hermione, but he _does_ have lovely hindquarters. Reminds me of your father when he was still fit."

"_MUM_!" Hermione half-shouted.

"Well he does, and I'm happy for you, dear. Surely you've noticed the neighbors watching you jog in the morning."

"_What_? No!"

"Missus Carsdale has opera glasses, dear. You can see most of them at the window as you pass.'

"Now you really need to bring him along." Janine giggled.

Hermione fumed. "This is why we don't do more things together, mother." The _nerve_! _Her own mother_! checking out _her_ Harry's behind! Yes, of course she did the exact same thing, but that was different, it _belonged_ to her! He was hers and she was his, that's how it was! And the bloody neighbours! Even Janine wanted an eyeful! Well tough bloody luck! Harry was never leaving the bedroom again!

Hermione settled back into the chair in a huff, glaring at the world, until she saw her mother's mouth trying not to curl upward at the corners. She could feel her face heat up as she realized her mother was teasing. Her own mum was taking the piss out of her about Harry.

"I can't believe I fell for that." Hermione sighed. Probably because Harry _did_ have a great arse, and she _did_ enjoy watching him. Mum had probably seen her doing so, too.

"I've waited a long time to tease you about boys, darling. You were away at school, and nothing was very jovial then, was it?"

Hermione sighed again. That was too true to be comfortable.

"Remind me never to make either of you mad." Janine said.

"That goes double for me. That was the slickest take I've ever witnessed. " Theresa nodded.

"I missed you too mum." Hermione admitted after a long silence. "But I'll bury anyone looking at my man."

"I'll help you carve the tombstone, dear." Her mum smiled at her.

Thankfully, her mother only chose to tease her mercilessly once, and by the time their manicures were finished, Hermione's mood had gone back to being effervescent. When she and her mum stepped back to the front counter to pay, Janine, Theresa, and Wanda (the manicurist) all came to see them off.

"Thank you all, and sorry about my overly-humourous mother." Hermione apologized.

"Thank you all, and sorry about my daughter's overly-hidden sense of humour." Her mum apologized.

All three of them smiled, and she smiled at her mum as well, who smiled back at her. She had _really_ missed her. She'd almost forgotten how brilliant she was at teasing.

"Nonsense, you're both brilliant." Theresa said.

"Please come back soon, we'll miss you both." Janine said.

"The two of you make me want to call my mum and go do something fun." Wanda said.

Hermione paid the bill and smiled at them as they left, then took her mothers hand as they walked back to the car.

"It _was_ pretty good. Had me fuming for a minute there." She admitted.

"Thank you for letting me get away with it too. I missed you dearly, Hermione."

Hermione stopped before they got to the car and hugged her mother. "I missed you too mum. There were times I thought I'd never see you again."

"Stop, honey. You'll make me cry again." Her mum hugged her back tightly, then kissed her head as she let go. "Let's go see what kind of trouble our husbands have gotten into while we've been away."

She giggled. "Our husbands. I like that. Makes me warm all over thinking he's my husband."

"We only have a month and a bit to completely arrange your wedding, you know. Something we should start getting sorted." They got into the car, fastened their seatbelts, and drove away.

"I don't want a big fairytale do, mum." Hermione said. "Just a few close friends and family, and a few of the professors from school. It won't be that difficult. We won't need a florist for flowers or to hire seating or anything like that, Harry and I can do that ourselves in an hour or so."

"You still have to decide on a venue, send invitations, find someone to officiate, shop for a dress, get the dress fitted, have a hen night with your girls - "

"That probably won't happen - the hen night I mean. I only have one real female friend, and she would think catching actual hens and maybe decorating them with radishes was a great hen night. I wouldn't trust any others."

"I'm sorry, Hermione, that makes me quite sad... And extremely interested to meet this girl."

"Her name's Luna, mum. She's my Maid of Honour - or at least I hope she will be, I've not heard her answer yet."

"That's a lovely name."

"She's a lovely girl. Honest, sweet, and brilliant. She was the only girl who came to visit us in the hospital. Ginny came by once, saw Harry wasn't of any use to her anymore, and left and never came back. I used to think she was a friend too."

"Jenny is Ronald's sister?"

"Yeah, that's her. I'll be happy to never see either of them again."

"That's sad. You find out who your friends are when the excrement impacts the pneumatic rotary."

"Neville and Luna, definitely. They both dropped in at least once a week when they could. Bill and Fleur dropped in three or four times, and I know how hard it was for them to get away, they work for the goblins. Honestly I'm fine without a hen night, mum. I would really rather just marry my Harry as quickly as possible and spend all my time with him. I imagine I'll make more female friends later, now that we're not on the run from evil wizards. "

Her mum pulled the car into _their_ driveway - hers and Harry's, and turned off the car.

"I know you will, sweetheart, you're a wonderful woman. Always beware of false friends and those who want to use you, of course, but I have no doubt you already know that." She squeezed Hermione's shoulder before getting out.

"Moreso now mum, thanks." She smiled at her mum before unlocking and opening the door. "Harry! I'm home!"

No answer.

A spike of worry thrust itself into her guts, somewhere below the baby. She ran upstairs and checked the bedroom to see if he was napping, but he wasn't. She ran back downstairs and checked the back garden, but he wasn't there either.

"He left a note." Her mum said, holding up a piece of parchment. She handed it to Hermione, but kept hold of the top corner of the page.

For some reason, she felt like she needed to read it out loud, so she did.

"My darling, my Hermione,

I'm not really running late.

I've just gone somewhere summery,

Somewhere we can't Apparate.

You're coming here to be with me,

Soon as you say Activate."

There was a tugging sensation, then they were spinning. Their feet touched down on warm white sand, and the sight of a large manor house surrounded by palm trees barely had time to register before she was nearly deafened by a thunderous

"SURPRISE!"

The shout was followed immediately by laughter. She looked around at the people in front of her, only half-registering faces while her shellshock prevented her mind from functioning properly, then she found him. The one face she wanted - _needed_ \- to see, and he grinned at her, suffused with warmth and love, and she finally came back to herself and engaged her brain.

That dirty rotten sneak! He'd _Compulsed_ the parchment so she'd read it out loud and activate the portkey on it! She could feel her jaw clench and her eyes narrow.

"You PRAT!" She shouted at him.

He laughed, and the laughter was shared by everyone else standing near. He enfolded her in his arms, and her anger simply evaporated. It was impossible to be outraged while wrapped in love. He kissed her head, then her neck.

"You look fantastic." He whispered to her. It made a shiver dance down her spine. Then his arms were gone, and Luna was standing in front of her.

"Luna!" She smiled, and hugged her friend.

"Happy Birthday, Hermione." Luna smiled dreamily after her hug.

"Thanks Luna. Thanks for being here too. I know you're probably busy."

"The Frumpanells can wait another day or two. Friends are important."

Fleur replaced Luna for hugs, and gave her kisses on the cheeks as well. "Bonne Fete!" Fleur smiled. "Merci pour la invit - Sank you for inviting us, Je suis so 'appy you are bose en bonne sante!"

"Thank you, I can't tell you how wonderful it is to have Harry alive and well again. Thank you for coming! This is wonderful!"

She hugged Bill and George then as well, then Angelina and Neville and Susan and Hannah.

"Thank you all for coming, this is the best surprise party I've ever had. Where even are we?" She looked around again. It was definitely somewhere tropical, and everyone had been here a while already as well, considering all the women were in bikinis and all the boys in shorts. All of them were _blindingly_ white. Not a thimbleful of tan in the bunch. Like they were all pigmentless shrimp who lived at the bottom of the ocean where the sun never reached - which wasn't far off, they were British. At least Fleur looked like she'd maybe _heard_ of the sun once or twice.

Her dad jogged over then. "Happy Birthday, Sweetie!" He shouted, then wrapped her in a hug.

"Thanks daddy. Have you met my friends?"

"Oh yes, Harry introduced us and we all went surfing for a bit. Do you want cake or presents first?" Her father looked more excited than she was.

Her mother grabbed him by the shoulders and steered him away. "She's nineteen, Malcolm, not ten! Happy Birthday, dear." Her mum guided her dad over to the snacks table.

"Your parents are great. It's easy to see how you got to be so... _you_." Hannah smiled.

She smiled back, heat rising to her cheeks. "Thanks. I missed them more than I thought I did." She thought about her mother looking at Harry's behind, and tried to stuff down the anger that rose. Definitely burying anyone coming on to her husband.

Harry smiled and wrapped his arms around her from behind. "Do you want to relax first or do all the presents and such?"

She ignored the urge to turn and start snogging him. "Can we get all the birthday stuff done so we can go relax and have fun?"

"Oui!" Fleur clapped. "Nous d'abord!" Fleur's wand appeared in her hand and one of the brightly-coloured gifts floated to Hermione.

"I _love_ magic." Her dad said as he stood behind her mother, arms wrapped around her just as Harry had done to her. She smiled at them and snuggled backward a little into Harry, then opened the brightly coloured box Fleur gave her. Inside were four thick rolls of off-white cloth, surrounding a large leather-bound book entitled "Wizarding Traditions Through The Ages". She ran her hand over the cover of the book, enjoying the feel of the old leather and the smell of old parchment. Her fingers brushed against the cloth, and she stopped to feel the cloth again. She thought the rolls of cloth were there to protect the book, but she recognized the feel of the cloth. It was cotton. A particularly silky cotton. She pulled one of the rolls of cloth out of the box, and she could tell immediately it had been shrunk. It was a bolt of Egyptian cotton. From Egypt. She handed the box to Harry and gathered Fleur in her arms, crushing her thanks into her bones.

"Thank you so much! This is brilliant!" She let go of Fleur and crushed Bill next. "I am going to make _so many things_ with this! And have a lovely read doing it!" She kissed both their cheeks and then retreated back to Harry's embrace. She wasn't lying either, she was absolutely going to make at least two maternity dresses out of it. She just wasn't about to tell that to anyone yet.

Fleur and Bill grinned widely and held hands, and Neville floated the next gift to her.

"This one's from me." He smiled.

"Thanks Neville." She grinned back at him, and tore into the package. Inside was a book titled "SAS Physical Training Manual", and three bars of Honeydukes Finest. She unwrapped one of the bars of chocolate immediately and took a bite out of it, then hugged Neville.

"Perfect, thank you Neville!" She grinned as much as possible with a mouthful of chocolate. "Where did you get an SAS training manual!?"

"I asked Gran who were the most fit people in the world, and she said ICW Hit Wizards were, but when I went into Flourish and Blotts and asked the owner, he said it was Muggle SAS, so I ordered it from him."

"It's brilliant, we're going to use it straight away." She beamed.

"Well on that note, open mine next!" Susan grinned, and floated another gift toward her. She flashed a smile at Susan, and of course it was another book.

"ICW Hit Wizard Training Manual!" She laughed. "Thank you Susan, we'll use that straight away too!" She hugged Susan as well.

"Too many books! time for something else." Angelina floated the next present to her.

"Well at least I know it isn't a book." She grinned. It was nice of Angelina to make the effort just because she and George were in a relationship. She was honestly thankful to the woman for caring for George in general. After Fred's death, she was undeniably instrumental in George even being as alright as he was. She knew now exactly how she'd feel if Harry died and wouldn't wish it on anyone.

When she finally got the wrapping off the box and the lid off, there was a smaller box with gold WWW on the top, so that was likely a selection of Wizarding Wheezes. There was also what looked like a bicycle seat and a bit of folded maroon cloth. She pulled the seat out, and on the underside there was a label that read "Sure-Safe Broom Seat".

"Aww, thank you!" She smiled. She didn't like flying, but a lot of that had to do with feeling like she was going to fall off. If she couldn't fall off, it would be great to go cruising with Harry and have picnics and such. It would be one more thing they could share. As long as they didn't go too high.

She put the seat back in the box and puled out the maroon cloth, and it turned out to be a Gryffindor Quidditch jersey. She turned it around to show everyone, and nearly started crying. On the back in gold was the name Potter, over the number 7. It wasn't just a Quidditch jersey, it was _Harry_'s Quidditch jersey.

"Wow, where did you find that?" Harry asked.

Angelina grinned. "Most of them ended up in the far corner of the courtyard after the Quidditch locker room got blown up. Yours somehow made it all the was to the edge of the forest."

She hugged the stuffing out of Angelina. "Thank you so much, that's wonderful and thoughtful of you. I'm going to wear that to bed forever."

"I always thought the two of you looked great together, I'm so glad you're finally there and both happy. Congratulations." Angelina whispered while they hugged.

She had to smile even as she felt more heat in her cheeks. She shouldn't by this point really, but it was embarrassing how blind she'd - they'd both - been. "You and George too. Good luck." She whispered back. Angelina had a warm smile and her hazel eyes immediately sought out George.

"Me next!" Hannah smiled brightly, and another gift floated in front of her. Harry had arranged all her opened gifts on the table and was cleaning up the wrapping paper, so she shot him a thank you glance. The sparkle in his eyes told her the message was received.

Hannah had given her another book. Sometimes it was a blessing being predictable. She did love books, even now. They weren't her only friends anymore, they weren't even the only source of information anymore, but they did hold a special place in her heart.

"Wizarding Traditions Across the Globe!" She grinned hugely. "I'm beginning to think some little bird told everyone what I'm looking forward to researching! Thank you so much, Hannah. I can't wait for a few minutes to myself now." She hugged Hannah while she grinned back at her.

Hannah glanced over at Harry and then winked at her. "Hopefully you don't get too much time alone."

She laughed, if only to cover the additional embarrassment. At least Hannah was somewhat subtle, unlike Lavender and Parvati. They probably would have asked her if she wanted to take that much time away from her favourite broomstick. While accurate, it was also crude.

Luna gave her her present next, and from the wrapping, it was also a book. It was a book-shaped object, wrapped in multiple different colours and textures of paper, and decorated with ribbons and bows. Luna put it in her hands and hugged her softly and sweetly,

"Happy Birthday, Hermione. I hope you like it." She said, and stood back with her hands clasped in front of her.

"Thanks Luna." She said with a smile. She unwrapped the thing carefully to preserve the wrapping, and found a large album inside, with a thick leather spine and silver cover. The cover of it was a picture frame, and the picture on the cover was of herself and Harry, on the Hogwarts Express, sitting on a seat and sharing chocolate frogs. She touched the picture, brushed her fingertips over it. She didn't remember anyone with a camera. It had to have been taken first year, judging by their faces and her hair.

"Luna, this is... how?"

Luna smiled even wider at her. "Pensieve." She said. "Keep looking."

She opened the cover and flipped through several pages. All the pictures were of just Harry and her, spanning their entire time at school from the first train ride to the battle and after, including both of them in the hospital.

"Luna..." Her vision went blurry as her eyes filled with water. "This is beautiful..." She handed the book to Harry and embraced Luna again. "Thank you so much."

"It's my pleasure, Hermione. I'm so happy you're happy finally."

"More than I ever imagined." She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"I'm happy for that, because I think it's only my gift left." Harry said.

He came to stand next to her and took her hands in his.

"Mine is just a small gift," He said as he looked into her eyes, his emerald irises alive with joy. "I hope you'll wear it for a long, long time though." He pulled a small black box from his pocket and dropped to one knee as he opened it. "Hermione, will you marry me?"

She knew it was a performance for their friends, they were already married after all, but she could also see that he didn't care. He meant it. He was asking again, all over again, just for her sake. Her chest clenched and squeezed water from her eyes all over again, and her answer was still the same.

"Yes, Harry. Of course yes." She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him thoroughly. When she let him go, he slipped the gold, diamond and emerald ring on her ring finger.

Their friends cheered and crowded around to clap them both on the back. The girls hugged her again, and she heard Neville say "You made that look too easy, mate."

"Well it certainly took long enough." She grinned at Neville, and hugged Harry again.

"Sorry I made you wait, Hermione." Harry smiled and kissed her again. The now-familiar tickle of his beard and softness of his lips started her engine humming and urged her toward more, but she let him go with a brief pang of disappointment. There would be time for that later. Lots of it. And a massage. Just thinking about it put a smile on her face - or would have if she hadn't already been smiling radiantly.

"You can make it up to me later." She said pointedly.

"Happily." He said with a smile, but his eyes promised a long night. She swallowed and tried not to think about it.

* * *

Neville lay in a lounge in the shade on the beach and found it difficult to believe how much he could relax in just an hour. Harry had said he and Hermione were married already, but seeing him propose and the look on her face when he did - it was obvious he had asked all over again, and it put a smile in Neville's chest. He tried to imagine what they were both feeling, but he couldn't come close. He liked Hannah a lot, but not really more than he liked Susan or Luna. Come to think of it, he liked Luna quite a bit more, but she had made it clear she had no designs on marriage or even a relationship anytime soon. That was just as well too, if he was honest with himself. A part of him wanted to rise to the challenge and prove that he could be the one for her, but a quieter, wiser part of him told that part to calm down, it wasn't a competition no matter how much he hated the thought of her with someone else. They had spent an unforgettable month together, and given each other everything. He knew he couldn't keep up with her, and he didn't want to hold her back or make her grow to resent him. He'd seen Ron do that to Harry and Hermione, and it was not pretty. He definitely didn't want anything in common with Ron. Hermione had never explicitly said anything, but from what she had said around the subject, apparently Ron was no longer welcome near the happy couple at all. He supposed he shouldn't really be surprised by it though. If Harry and Hermione had finally woken up and seen each other, they might have applied that clear vision to Ron as well. He hadn't understood why they tolerated him for so long in the first place. Ron was a sulky, jealous, temperamental manbaby with an inferiority complex. He was glad the redheaded git wasn't coming back to school this year.

A soft crack sounded to his right, and when he looked, there was a house elf there dressed in white shorts and collared shirt with a palm tree logo on the left breast in green.

"The Master and Mistress would like a word, if that is alright with you, Lord Longbottom. I have been instructed to bring you directly to them if you are willing."

Wow. He would have to ask Harry how the house elves got so eloquent. That was just...

"Er, yeah, I'll go. Thank you." Neville sat up and took the elf's offered hand. A second later, he was standing in a study next to Luna, facing Harry and Hermione.

"Thank you, Critt." Harry smiled at the elf. The elf blushed and disappeared.

"Your elves are remarkably well-spoken." Luna said.

"I suspect it's my mother's doing, but I won't know for sure until we're able to go through the journals in the library vault at Gringott's." Harry said. "Apparently she shared the same view of house elf 'ownership'" Harry made air quotes around the word, "that Hermione and I do."

"Well let me know what you find out, will you? I'd like to help improve their lives also, and I could start at home."

Hermione grinned at him. "We will, Nev. Thank you. And you of course Luna, if you want."

Luna just smiled and waited patiently for something. She was so unique. Pretty and unique, and he was sad he wasn't the one for her. Sad, but he also hoped she found happiness. Merlin help whoever hurt her.

"Well... I guess there's no real segue for this, so..." Hermione leaned against Harry and he held her hips gently. She pulled out her wand and waved it over her front. She shimmered for a second, then her breasts grew and her stomach looked as though she'd swallowed a kettle.

Luna squealed in delight and hugged Hermione, then knelt and put her cheek against Hermione's bulging stomach.

It looked like... Could it be though? Hadn't they just gotten together after Harry woke up like a week or two ago? How could...? A terrible realization happened somewhere in the back of his mind, and he beat it down while waiting for them to speak.

Luna nuzzled Hermione's stomach for a moment, then spoke to it. "Hello, baby! She cooed, "I'm your Auntie Luna. How are you feeling today?"

"We don't want anyone else to know just yet, since we just 'got engaged' today, so I'll be wearing glamours for a while, maybe for the whole thing." Hermione explained.

A different house elf arrived and set tea on the desk, served four cups, then disappeared.

"What we wanted to ask you both that we couldn't put in the letter is... we wanted to know if you would both... if you would be the baby's godparents?" Harry asked, a hopeful note in his voice.

"Yes!" Luna said immediately, beaming.

He had to smile. He thought he knew Luna. They had shared an awful lot of themselves with each other, but here, now, confronted with a burgeoning life... she seemed to almost glow. He had to stamp down images of his arms wrapped around Luna's waist and caressing her swollen stomach like Harry was doing to Hermione. A warmth in his chest surprised him, his own deep want for that to be true. As for Harry and Hermione's child... how could he ever not want to be part of that family?

"Absolutely." He said.

Hermione hugged Luna, and the two of them held each other and radiated happiness.

"Brilliant." Harry said, and offered his hand and smile. He looked more like an adult in that moment than Neville had ever seen before. It was just a glimpse, but the future it showed him was Harry as a powerful, deeply understanding man. A good man, who worked for the improvement of every life he touched. Neville knew he would be there as well. A friend - a genuine friend - like that didn't come along every day.

"Congratulations, both of you." Neville said, returning Harry's handshake and grin. "I'm thrilled you're both happy... but there's a fly in the potion."

"Oh?" Harry's eyebrows rose.

"Would you tell us the story? The timing is wrong and has you in a coma. I would not want to think anything negative of you Hermione, let alone line theft. It simply isn't who you are. You would _never_ do a thing like that, so I'm assuming there's a story."

Harry and Hermione shared a look, then grinned back at him.

"Genius and brave as anything, Nev. I'm glad to call you a mate." Harry said.

Luna looked at Neville as if seeing him for the first time. It was only for a second, but he thought he saw something new in her eyes as she did.

Harry pulled his wand out and conjured two sofas, facing each other over a low coffee table, and moved the tea to the coffee table.

"It's your tale, love." Harry said, "Why don't you tell it?"

"It's yours too." She said back.

"I love the look in your eyes when you do it though." He smiled.

She kissed him. "You mean you're lazy and don't want to." She stuck her tongue out at him.

Hermione waited for Harry to get seated on the right sofa, then sat down next to him and leaned on him with her legs curled under her.

"It's not much of a tale, really." Hermione said. "I... I suppose it was line theft. And rape. I raped Harry while he was trapped in a nightmare."

"Don't be like that, sweetheart. This isn't a courtroom. The _why_ is important." Harry wrapped an arm around Hermione's shoulders and squeezed.

"Alright. It still hurts, you know." She looked up at him and then back at Luna and Neville. "I was in the hospital, researching. It was just a normal night, maybe a month after Harry had deliberately stepped in front of the curse meant for me."

"It was meant for you?" Neville asked, at the same time Luna exclaimed,

"You stepped in front of it?!"

"Even if I'd never told her before then, I loved her. Of course I stepped in front of it." Harry smiled. "And yes, that piece of shit Selwyn prefaced the curse with 'Say goodbye to your mudblood.' Stupid arsehole. If I hadn't been an utter bonehead, I'd have had my wand out and destroyed him before he ever finished the sentence."

"But Harry didn't have his wand out, I did. He did a damn stupid thing and stepped in front of me before I could react." Hermione said. "So that's how he got to be in the coma in the first place. One night about a month later - a few nights after I told Ron to fuck off and never come back - Harry died. I was looking at him, watching him, wishing for him to wake up, and he just stopped breathing and died."

"I'm glad I know this has a happy ending already, because you're scaring the life out of me." Neville said. He felt Luna's hand slip into his and their fingers interlace.

"Me too." Hermione continued, "The lights all went red, a team of healers showed up after a few seconds, and I couldn't do anything. I sat on the floor crying my eyes out and begging them to save him. He was dead for three minutes while they worked on him, and they managed to get him breathing again and stable again, though still in the coma."

He let out a heavy breath. "Honestly, I can feel my fingers and toes tingling now, thanks for that fright, Hermione." He said. Luna's fingers clasped around his hand reassuringly.

Hermione nodded. "That's some clue what I went through then. Three minutes I was dead inside, absolutely shattered. It took me hours to cry myself out and pull my head together, and I decided right then that I would not let Harry leave this world with nothing to show for his having been here. If I couldn't save him, if I couldn't heal him, then I was going to do the one thing I could do to keep him with me. So yes, I went to Knockturn and bought a fertility potion and raped Harry with the intention of conceiving a child. I just never cared anything about his line or his money or anything but having him with me. Hell, we didn't even find out about his House or money until after he'd woken up."

That made sense. Neville could understand that, and _that_ was what Hermione would do. He calmed down on the inside then, and almost didn't notice Luna slide into his side and lean her head on his shoulder.

"Romilda Vane actually tried that once in fifth year I think. Sent potioned chocolates for Valentine's. Powerful stuff. I was lucky Ron didn't have a well-developed sense of personal property, or she might've succeeded." Harry said quietly. "I was also lucky it happened to be the one person I wanted to marry who ended up succeeding. Without Hermione there by my side constantly, who knows what might have happened. I've said it before and I'll say it again, thank you love. I'd be dead or worse without you."

"That explains a lot, actually." Luna smiled. "And seems much more like a thing Hermione would do. That's the second thing that worried me."

"Second thing?" He asked.

"The letter asked if I would be Hermione's Maid of Honour, and I didn't know if I could still do that if I wasn't a virgin." Luna smiled a little smile just for him, her ice blue eyes warm with the memory.

"Oh. Can you?" He looked from Luna to Harry and Hermione and back.

"Of course. It's just a title, not a requirement." Hermione said. "It just means Luna will stand with me when Harry and I get married, same as you'll stand with Harry."

"Oh, so it's like a female best mate. I get it. Muggle-style weddings are a bit different, I guess."

"Can I see the memory of your magical wedding?" Luna asked, "I have some more work to do in the midlands, but I could take some more time in a couple of weeks."

"Of course! That would be great, Luna!" Hermione grinned. "Let me know when you can come, and we'll spend the morning getting pampered and the rest of the day sharing memories. Harry says Potter House has a lovely old pensieve built into a table."

Luna grinned at Hermione and squeezed his hand. "I'd like that." She said.

* * *

"Thank you, Mrs. Weasley, that was delicious." Angelina smiled from her seat next to George.

"You're very welcome, dear, but please call me Molly." She smiled back. "Mum is fine too." She beamed a little extra brightly, and George rolled his eyes.

She laughed and smiled back at Molly. Truthfully, she wouldn't mind it. George was a good man, and they got on brilliantly, but it would be his choice, and she was content to wait for him to make it. For now. The only down side to being a Weasley, far as she could tell, was having to deal with Ronald. Sure, he did the job George asked him to and did it well enough, but he didn't do it proactively. He made George tell him to do something before he'd do it, no matter that it was a daily task and he knew it needed doing. The few times she'd been around to help out at the shop when business was booming he'd been the same, and let her take the brunt of customer interaction and the bulk of the work. She didn't mind though, it helped George and made him smile.

Even at Sunday dinner, he didn't think to thank his own mother for the meal, he just arrived, stuffed his face, and made passive-aggressive comments now and again. It was a constant wonder how two brothers a year and a bit apart could be so completely different after being raised in the same family, the same house, and under the same rules. If she hadn't had to deal with Ronald, she might've felt sorry for him. He clearly didn't understand the world he lived in.

"Thanks for dinner, mum." George stood up from the table and kissed Molly on the cheek.

"Nonsense, dear. You know you're always welcome." Molly said.

"And I'd be a prat if I didn't thank you for your efforts anyway." He hugged her.

Molly looked over at Ronald, but he was staring at something in the living room.

"Wossat?" Ronald asked, without indicating what he was talking about or who he was asking.

When he naturally didn't receive a response, he got up from the table and went to stand at the floo. He picked up the thick, cream-coloured card with gold lettering she recognized as being an invitation to Harry and Hermione's wedding. She and George had both received one as they'd left Hermione's birthday party last weekend.

"What the fuck is _this_ shit?" Ronald demanded.

A stinging hex hit him in the rear almost instantly.

"Ronald! Language!" Molly admonished.

"How long has this been going on?!" He ignored his mother and the stinger. "When did he wake up?"

George frowned at his little brother, and she could tell he was mad. After hearing what Ron had said to George about Harry in the shop she was too, it just wasn't her place to get involved in the family squabble. That wouldn't stop her from enjoying it of course, but she wasn't going to get involved.

"If you had actually given half a crap about the people you claim to be friends with, you might already know the answer, Ron." George said. "You didn't, so you don't."

"Oh get stuffed. How long?" Ron demanded again.

"I don't see that's any of your business, son." Arthur said firmly. "Especially not after what you said about them."

"Wot yer mean what I said about them?" Ron frowned and looked at George.

"I told them, Ron. I told them about our conversation in the shop."

"You wanker!" Ron started turning red at the ears.

"Oh yes, I'm the wanker for not giving a shit that my best mate might be dead for all I know. _I'm_ the wanker for treating Hermione like a house elf and then being _surprised and upset_ that people know about it."

"You had no right to go blabbing to mum and dad, you greasy tattler!"

"_Tattler_?" George's eyebrows rose. "What are you, _five_? Do you really not understand what an absolute bin you're making of your life? Not only have you utterly alienated the two best people it's my privilege to know, but they also happen to be _the most influential_ people in the entire country. You're just bloody lucky it's not in their nature to go out of their way to ruin you, little brother. All they want is to be left alone to be happy, so you can be bloody sure anyone who knows anything will never talk to you about it."

"Why, Ron?" Molly asked softly. "Why? You used to be such good friends. You used to be such a good boy, and now you're acting... You're acting like a _Malfoy_. I don't like it."

"Oh _that's it_, take _their_ side against your own son! Your own flesh and blood!" Ron screamed. "Fuck you! Fuck you all! I fucking hate you!" He pulled the invitation off the mantle and tried to tear it in two with his bare hands, but it wouldn't rip. He threw it on the floor where it lay open, and Harry and Hermione smiled and gazed lovingly at each other before they smiled and laughed at themselves while looking at the viewer.

Ron drew his wand and pointed it at the picture. "_Confringo_!" He shouted. The blast from his wand simply bounced off the invitation and blew out the back wall of the Burrow. Wood and sharp slivers sprayed for meters in every direction across the back garden.

"RON! STOP!" Arthur shouted.

George had his wand out and pointed at Ron. "_Expelliarmus_!" He said. Ron raised his wand to fire another curse at the invitation, but his wand flew out of his hand and into George's.

"Give it back!" Ron demanded.

"_Incarcerous_." George said, and Ron was wrapped in tight ropes from head to foot. His forward momentum was preserved, and Ron fell flat on his chest. His cheek slapped on the floor before he came to a stop. "_Silencio._"

Ron started shouting and squirming on the floor, but he couldn't go anywhere and made no noise.

George turned to look at her. "Sorry about that. Looks like we'll have to cut tonight a bit short. I need to go dump idiot here at the shop and then help fix the back wall."

The poor dear did look sorry too. He was such a sweetheart. It was kind of a shame his parents were sitting just there, she wanted to snog his sweetheart face.

"Nonsense." She smiled at him. "Many hands make light work. Let's leave Ron to cool off and go fix the back wall. You can talk about what to do with him after."

"You're sure you don't mind?" George asked her, eyebrows raised.

"Of course not." She smiled at him. 'You can't buy entertainment like this' she added in thought only. She got up and returned the invitation to the mantle before heading to the back wall. She stopped in front of the huge hole in the wall, and took George's hand in hers before they started the repairs.

* * *

Ginny followed formation and took the passed quaffle when it was passed, executed her S-curve, then passed it on as she'd been told. She wanted her place on the team, so she learned the stupid, pointless drills, she flew in the stupid, pointless formations, and learned to handle the quaffle they way they wanted it handled. She played the good little chaser, but just wait until she got into a real game. Then she'd show them.

"Pick it up, Appleby!" Gwenog shouted from above. She had no time for girls who couldn't bother to show up in shape. Stupid Appleby was chunky, too fat to be a chaser, and her big stupid fat cow tits weighed her down and got in the way. She was sure Appleby would be kicked before the end of the week.

Practice ended after another series of drills, and Ginny made sure she was seen still ready to keep going. She also helped other hopefuls with their gear and such, just to be seen as a team player. She could put up with pretending to be nice until she got onto the team. She would make sure they knew they needed her on the team, maybe score a few century games, then she could act like she deserved better. They'd respect her more when they knew they needed her more than she needed them. Once her name was synonymous with winning she could write her own ticket and make team owners and captains fight each other over signing her.

Once she finally got back to the dorm, she found an owl waiting for her. She took the message and unrolled it. It was from Ron, she could tell straight away from the horrible writing.

**Gin,**

**Did you get an invitation? Are you going to go? I can't believe they're snubbing me like this. I guess years of friendship just doesn't mean anything to some people. Doesn't matter, I don't need them anyway. How's training camp? Has Gwenog got a boyfriend? Let her know how brilliant I am.**

**Ron**

She crumpled the note and tossed it to the floor as she pulled her wand and Vanished it. How on Merlin's Magical Earth did she ever get born to the same two people as that flobber-brained imbecile? At least have the thought to explain what bloody nonsense you were banging on about, moron!

She huffed at his stupidity and flopped on her bed. She picked up the Harpies' playbook and started flipping through it. It was never explicitly said, but she suspected they would be tested on the plays in the book at the end of camp to see how many girls actually bothered to learn them. No way was she going to get cut from the team for lack of studying. She'd make up her own plays later, and other hopefuls years down the road would have to study _them_.

There was a knock at the door.

"Come in!" She said as she raised her voice so whoever it was on the other side could hear.

The door opened and Gwenog walked in, then closed the door behind her. She took in the fact that she was reading the playbook, and _actually smiled_.

"Good. Keep reading." She said. "Good work on the field. Keep it up."

That was _HUGE_. She was right about having to know the plays, even though nothing was ever said. Not only that, but the captain _wanted_ her on the team. She was practically there already. As long as she didn't fuck up horribly, she could be a Harpy this time next year.

"What's up, Captain?" She asked casually. Gwenog wasn't the kind of woman who showed up in the dorms at all, let alone just to gab.

"Weasley, rumor has it you're a friend of Potter's." Gwenog said.

"Yes..." Where was this going? Did she want to know about their relationship? Was she going to say she couldn't be a Harpy if she was Harry's wife?

"How good a friend? I mean... do you think you could get me an invitation to his wedding?" Gwenog looked at her with pink spreading across her cheeks. Hope gleamed in Gwenog's eyes.

But... Harry hasn't asked her yet...

A horrible sinking feeling bloomed in her chest. Was that what her idiot brother banging on about? Even worse, was she going to have to pretend to be okay with it now in order to secure her place on the team? Wait... was Gwenog a _FAN_?! She couldn't even ask her what she was talking about, because a real friend of Harry's would already know. She needed to get to a floo. Immediately.

"I'll have to go ask. I'll need access to a floo for that."

Gwenog nodded. "Good. Come with me, you can use my floo. If you can manage it, I'll owe you one." Having Gwenog Jones _owe her one_ was something she'd dreamed of. It was rarer than Crumple-horned Snorkacks and more valuable than diamonds. Still... She wondered if Gwenog would still owe her one after she stopped the wedding. No fucking WAY was Harry marrying _anyone_ but Ginevra Weasley.

"It's none of my business, but why do you want to go?"

Gwenog blushed a deeper pink, and looked at the floor. "It's stupid, but I... I'm a huge fan."

Oh for _fuck's sake_.

"Alright, the sooner I go, the sooner I'll get back." She got up off the bed, and followed Gwenog across the training grounds to her house.


	5. Chapter 5

"George!" He heard a voice call from upstairs. it wasn't Angel, she was with her family. Feet pounded down the spiral staircase, and he glimpsed long red hair.

Ginny.

"Hey little sis!" He called. "Thought you were at training camp?"

"I was. I am. have you got a Prophet kicking around?"

"On the testing table, behind you."

Ginny snatched up the paper and started reading the front page.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" She screamed. "The fucking _bookworm_!? Merlin fuck a duck! Can't trust that fucking moron to do one simple fucking thing right, not even get his end away! Fucking worthless! I'll hex the bitch's face right fucking off!"

"If you're talking about my friend Hermione like that, you can just leave." He told her.

"What?! You'd side with that thieving bitch over your own sister?!"

"Hermione has never stolen anything in her life. You, on the other hand, seem to be under the delusion that Harry Potter belongs to you."

"He DOES! He's mine! He's my birthright, and I'm going to be Lady Potter! We're going to have little redheaded babies with gorgeous green eyes and every bitch in the world will wish she was me!"

He just looked at her. It was cute when she was six. It ceased being cute long before her current seventeen. "Uh huh." He said. "You better be joking, because if you aren't, I'm going to take you to St. Mungo's right now."

Ginny looked at his face and blanched. "Er... Yeah. Just a joke." She tried to grin, but it was horrible. His sister was a horrible liar.

"What do you want, Ginny?" He asked.

"What makes you think I want something? I can't just show up and read your paper?" She huffed.

He just stared at her more.

"Okay! Fine! Look, I didn't know that Harry came out of the coma, okay? I was busy and we're not allowed to get the paper during training. The point is, you know who my boss is, right?"

"Actually I have no idea if the Harpies are even owned by one person or a family or a board of governors or what."

"That would be the owners. My _boss_ is my Captain, Gwenog Jones."

"Okay, and?"

"And I fucking hate having to say this, so if you tell anyone, I'll hex you into tiny pieces, understand?"

"Okay, and?"

"Gwenog asked if I could get her an invitation to the wedding."

An _invitation_?! He started laughing. That was the most ludicrous thing he could have imagined coming out of his sister, and he'd been prepared for a lot.

"Stop laughing!" She demanded. "This could guarantee my career, George! Could you at least take it to them and ask? The paper says the Minister is going to be there, so why not?"

"The Minister is going to be there because he's a _friend_, Ginny. Harry and Hermione have known Kingsley as long as I have."

"So ask them if they can meet Gwenog and see if she can become a friend. I'd do it myself, but..."

"But you abandoned them both in the hospital when it suited you."

Ginny's face turned red, though he couldn't tell if it was anger or embarrassment.

"Why are you being such an arse? Please, George! It would mean a lot to me, and it's bad enough having to fucking tolerate such a thing in the first place. I _should_ be out stopping it right now! It's fucking galling to have to ask at all!"

Never one to pass up an opportunity, he thought about it.

"I'll tell you what Gin. I'll go talk to both of them right now and plead the case, on one condition."

"Fine, what?"

"Leave the wedding alone. Don't try to interrupt it, curse it, or affect it in any way. Give up on Harry Potter right this second. Abandon your childish claim on him and any thoughts of retribution against Hermione. Do that, and I'll go talk to them right now and try my best to get Gwenog her invitation."

Silence.

More silence.

Ginny went white in the face and looked like she was concentrating on not throwing up.

"Fine." She whispered finally.

Well. That was unexpected.

Ginny obviously _really_ wanted to play for Holyhead. Good! If she could get over her childish obsession with a Harry Potter that had never lived at all, she'd definitely be better off in the long run. He knew exactly how much it hurt when a crush failed, but it was one of those things you had to go through to grow up. Besides that, Hermione was likely to put Ginny in the hospital if Ginny so much as raised a wand against either of them.

It was after business hours, so he put stasis lids on the test cauldrons and removed them from the heat.

"Alright then." He got up and hugged Ginny. "I don't hate you Gin. You're my sister and I love you. It's because I love you I want you to give up on your Harry obsession. It isn't healthy."

She started trembling as he held her.

"Have you been checked for potions and the like recently?"

"What? Why?"

"Because being so obsessed isn't like you. You never know, Dumbledore was great at Alchemy, he might have slipped you something when you were young. Mum might have as well, thinking she was helping. It's just something to think about."

"Nothing like that." She said quietly, but slowly stopped trembling. "We got full screening before being admitted to camp. Anyone with something active in them got refused."

"Oh. Well good, at least we know you're not potioned." He hugged squeezed her and let go. "Right, I'm off then. I'll owl you with what they said."

"Actually, it would be best if I could tell her straight away. Do you mind if I wait here?"

"No, of course. Don't mess with the testing, but help yourself to whatever's in the kitchen. I'll tell you how it went when I get in."

She smiled at him, and looked like herself for the first time in a long time. "Thanks George." She said.

* * *

As soon as the green flames died away, so did her demure, contrite expression. Her features scrunched and twisted into a vicious sneer.

"As fucking IF! Potter is MINE!" She hissed at the empty floo.

She needed to think. No way would she give up the prize of a lifetime, but at the same time she was in a tricky situation. She needed a way to steer Harry toward her and away from the UglyBucktoothedBookworm. There wasn't any such thing as a love charm, and she didn't have time to create one, so how to get a potion into him? She needed access to Harry, or at least some of his hair. If she had some of The Bookworm's hair, she could make an aversion potion keyed to her. That would help him get over Bitchy, Brown and Boring while he lusted after Racy Red.

And Ron! The fucking idiot was supposed to be _handling_ the fucking Bookworm! She couldn't believe he'd fucking bumbled everything - no, scratch that, of course she could. He was a fucking idiot. It was just infuriating he'd performed as usual when everything had been spinning along perfectly short months before. Part of her was curious what he'd done to make TheFrigidBeaver reject him, but she had far bigger fish to fry at the moment.

George was right though, they'd never let her close to them, not now. It would take _apologizing_ and lots of time to work her way back close to them, time she didn't have. If they even bothered to meet with her in the first place.

Shit!

Wait, the shop was in Diagon! She had time for a quick snoop around Knockturn, maybe she could find a solution there! She grabbed the keys off the hook by the wall and locked the door behind her before she set off at a jog toward the Alley. She pulled her wand and changed her hair to black and her eyes to brown before she got there, it wouldn't do to be recognized. She had no compunctions whatsoever about doing highly illegal things with highly illegal tools, but damned if she didn't also want to get away with it. She was Ginevra Potter, future Quidditch Goddess! Azkeban was for losers.

She didn't bother with any shops lining Knockturn, no, she'd been there enough to know that the really good stuff you had to get from the side alleys. You had to ignore the needy folk meant to look like beggars to scare off the tourists and walk like you had a purpose. The first two side alleys she explored were filled with the usual tripe, monkey's paws, knives and ropes and things charmed to murder muggles and make it look like a suicide. Ginny had no time for it, she was after a potioneer.

She found one such potential store down the third alley she tried. The place was called 'Anaisa's Pies', but there were nothing but bottles in the windows. The interior was decorated somewhat opulently, with richly appointed furniture and gold-inlaid marble countertops.

"What can Mama Anaisa do for you today, chile?" A large woman with enormous breasts and gold rings dripping from her fingers asked her. The woman had an easy smile, a relaxed bearing, but she could see cold hard steel in the woman's eyes.

While the shop didn't overtly display anything that could be construed as illegal, none of them did. They all had to pass occasional Auror raids, after all. All the juicy contraband items would be safely hidden - which meant there was no recourse but to spill what she wanted to the woman.

"I'm after a way to deliver potions at a distance. Love potions. Maybe a revulsion potion as well." She said. She didn't have to say what she wanted to deliver exactly, but by doing so, the woman would know she was up to illegal things and wouldn't hold back when showing what she had. It also told the woman she wasn't an undercover Auror. She would have preferred to keep her business private, but one had to bow to necessities.

"Ah, young love. Sometime it need a good push, ya? You wait here, chile. Mama Anaisa bring you sometin' right quick." The large woman ducked into a hidden back room faster than she thought was possible, leaving her to dance and fidget and worry about whether George had returned or not.

Thankfully, the fat, enunciation-challenged woman was only gone a minute. When she came back, she put a thin black enamel case on the counter. It had a pointed steel tip on it, and practically oozed darkness.

"Dis li'l trinket be all kinda wondaful fo' you, chile. Dis heeah a Switchin' Siphon. Look like a wand case, no?" She picked the thing up and showed her the back end of it. The very end rotated open, and as it did, part of the round body of the thing opened to reveal space for two standard-sized phials. "Put yo' outgoin' on de left heeah, put yo' empty on de right, and yo' wand up de middle. You cast a switchin' spell troo yo' wand, and presto. You give love, you get blood. If you can see him, you can catch him."

Sweet murdering Morrigan.

"It's perfect." She breathed. "How much?"

"Twenty-five for dis beauty, an' dat include yo' 'young love' discount." The fat woman grinned at her.

It would take almost everything she had. She would be eating nothing but dorm meals for the rest of the month, but she wouldn't starve. She could pilfer ingredients from her mother's stores at the Burrow and brew the potions herself, so that wasn't an issue.

She pulled out twenty-five galleons and handed them over.

The fat woman took out a box from behind the counter and fit the Switching Siphon into a secret compartment in the bottom, then closed it and put two red roses on top to complete the illusion.

"Mind de torns, honey." The fat woman smiled at her.

Ginny didn't bother with anything further, she clutched her prize and strode out of Knockturn and back to the shop as quickly as she dared.

* * *

Harry's eyebrows seemed to have a levitation charm on them, as they hovered somewhere halfway up his forehead.

"Wait, wait." Hermione held up a hand and shook her head, trying to wrap her gorgeous brain around what George had just said. "So Ginny actually _agreed_ to drop the whole Harry obsession and stay away from our wedding entirely if we talk to this Jones girl?"

"Yeah. Surprised the magic out of me, too. I didn't ask for any binding vows or anything, but she has to know if she goes back on her word at this point she'll be banished from the family at the very least. It was all dad could do to stop mum casting her out after she told mum to fuck off."

Harry laughed. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh. It's not funny. Really, it isn't. I just can't help seeing your mum's face at that point."

George grinned. "Don't restrain yourself on my account, Harrykins. I had a good chuckle myself."

"Not that that isn't amusing in a horrifying way, but I can't get over the question of _why_ this Jones woman wants to meet us. It had better not be another fangirl thing, I'll put her in the ground no matter who she is." Hermione snuggled closer to Harry almost possessively.

Harry leaned over and kissed her cheek, then rubbed her back with one palm. "Fair point, love. We've both had quite enough of that kind of nonsense."

"Hey, whatever you two decide is up to you. I've done what I said I would do, I've tried my hardest to get Jones a meeting with you two. What she actually wants is an invitation to the wedding, but I laughed when she said that. Ginny seems to think that because Kingsley is going that it's somehow a public event."

"Well you're right there." Hermione nodded. "No bloody way we'd let a stranger anywhere near the place."

"Exactly as I thought." George nodded. "A meeting would be the best she could hope for. Anyway, that's my duty done, I should get back to the shop and let you lovebirds talk about it - or snog about it, as the case may be." He grinned and stood.

Harry stood and shook George's hand, and Hermione give him a hug. "Four months of snogging to make up for, on top of the regular snogging. It's a full schedule." She grinned.

George chuckled and threw some powder into the floo before disappearing in a flash of green flame.

Hermione sighed then. Why couldn't people just leave them alone?

Harry wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her neck. She absolutely loved that, it made her engine purr to life immediately. She also hated it because it made her engine purr to life immediately. It was like having a big red START button on the side of her neck. It wasn't much of annoyance though, she grabbed his elbows to keep him against her, and arched her back, pressing her bum against his front. He growled in his chest, and that was his big red start button. For some reason, he loved her behind. She loved that he loved her behind, there was nothing quite as satisfying as feeling him harden between her cheeks.

He attacked her neck again while he ground himself against her, and she giggled both at the tickles his beard gave and the fact that she was teasing him. She spun away out of his grasp and placed a chaste kiss on the end of his nose.

"We should talk about this first." She smiled sweetly. His face was a mask of lust and disappointment. Normally she would pounce on him just because she hated that face, but it served him right for pressing her start button. Besides, she had already planned to shag him stupid after dinner.

He let out an exaggerated, exasperated sigh. "Alright fine. You're going to pay for that later though." His eyes held the promise of delightful punishment.

"You might too." Her eyes bored back into his.

He smiled at her. "You know how I feel about something like this. It's obvious this Jones is some kind of fan or something. Even worse, it sounds like she's using her position to get what she wants out of Ginny, even though she really doesn't have anything to do with it. I'm against it just on that score."

"I completely agree, love. You know I do. On the other hand, we've also been looking for excuses to be out in public to get everyone used to the idea of us being married, and there really isn't any harm in meeting someone for a drink somewhere public. We can even surround the area with our friends and Aurors if we want. We're under no obligation whatsoever, and if she turns out to be a fangirl or a bore, we can just leave. There really isn't anything to lose."

"Nothing to gain either though." He grumped.

She put her elbows either side of his neck. The curve of her baby bump just brushed his stomach. It instantly dispelled his dourness. "You're just being pessimistic and grumpy now. If it turns out she's not a fangirl and happens to be a good person, we can always use more friends."

Harry mumbled something.

"Hmm?" She looked into his eyes.

"You're right, of course. As always. Like you're brightest witch of the age or something." He grinned his sardonic, lopsided half-grin. The one he saved just for her, just for when he knew she was right and admitted it. Fortunately for him, it drove her _mad_.

The smile dropped from her mouth, and a feral gleam overpowered the reason in her eyes. She bent her elbows, sliding her hands to the front of his shirt.

"Well I _was_ saving this for after dinner, but..." She flexed her arms and tore the shirt from his torso, then raked her nails down his chest.

* * *

Two hours. Two fucking hours she'd been sitting here after George returned! George had been all smiles after he got back, but without an answer. "They'll discuss it" he'd said. She _should_ be studying the playbook, but no, she had to sit on George's sofa and read old Quidditch magazines while The Nattering Boyfriend-Stealing BeaverBitch probably yammered at her poor Harry non-stop until he was suicidal. Her fingers itched to try her new toy out, but she needed to stop back at the Burrow before then. Preferrably Disillusioned. She needed potion ingredients. Maybe it was something of a blessing in disguise that PushyBushy was being so relentless. The later she showed up at home, the less likely she was to run into her mum or dad.

She contemplated getting another cup of tea, but she'd already had two and didn't want to need the loo just as she was gathering ingredients.

A house elf popped into existence next to George then, and waited patiently for him to finish stirring his potions before he turned to face it.

"Mistress Hermione Potter sends this note to Mister George Weasley." The elf handed George a folded piece of parchment, then bowed and Disapparated.

_Mistress Hermione POTTER_?! That jumped-up, thieving, ugly, bitchy, presumptuous, saggy old HAG! Ginny ground her teeth together to keep from screaming.

"Well, looks like your boss gets a meeting, at least." George said, before he handed her the note.

**George,**

**Please let Ginny know I'll meet with Miss Jones at the Harbourfront Bistro in Holyhead, Friday at noon(ish).**

**Thanks!**

**Hermione.**

"You _told_ her I was the one asking?!" She accused George.

"Well, unless you're really someone else, then you did ask." He raised his eyebrows at her. She clucked her tongue against her teeth, but she knew she couldn't push George for anything else. When he started making light of things you'd never get anything out of him. He and Fred had perfected the light-hearted deflection, and now that Fred was gone, George only used it when he was done with a conversation.

"Well, I'd have preferred it otherwise, but thank you George." She gave him a quick squeeze.

"See you for Sunday dinner?" He asked after giving her a goodbye squeeze.

"Maybe, not sure. I'll have to ask. I only got to leave today because it was at the Captain's request."

George nodded and went back to his work. She threw a pinch of floo powder in the fireplace. She Disillusioned herself while masked by the roaring green flames, and whispered "The Burrow."

As she came to a stop in the living room, she quickly shook the ash off and cast _Silencio_ on her feet.

The lights were all off. A smile spread across her face. She was in luck!

She quickly unlocked her mother's potioneering cabinet and pulled what she'd need. Some of the rarer ingredients were in a secret compartment at the bottom, in the back of the cabinet. Her mother didn't know she knew about that.

She had just levered the secret compartment panel out of it's seating when sounds started filtering down from upstairs. One of the unfortunate consequences of the design of the Burrow, coupled with its construction materials, was that sounds from just about anywhere _carried_. They carried _very well_. It was her mother's voice that carried down to Ginny just then.

"Oh yes! Like that! Just like that! Spank me, minister! I've been naughty!"

"Oh yes you have! You know what we do to naughty girls here!" Her father's voice came next. The sound of flesh slapping flesh also carried throughout the house.

She could feel bile rising in her throat. Worse, no matter how hard she tried to block them, _images_ bloomed inside her head.

She shook her head and swallowed repeatedly, trying to fight against it. She hurried to force the secret panel out of its place, and desperately collected a vial of powdered moonstone and several Ashwinder eggs.

SLAP! SLAP! "OOooh!"

SLAP! "Take it! Take your punishment, you filthy girl! Hahaha!" SLAP!

She replaced the panel quickly, then had to pull it off and replace it again because it was crooked and didn't fit properly. The whole time she could feel herself turning green as her stomach rebelled and the _images_ kept assaulting her brain. After a hateful eternity, the Merlin-damned panel slid into place and she closed the cabinet and re-locked it.

SLAP! "Ooh my arse too!"

SLAP! "Your everything belongs to the Minister of Naughty Affairs!" SLAP!

She ignored everything else and ran for the floo with her stolen ingredients. She only just had time to stumble onto her hands and knees in Gwenog's living room before her stomach inverted and her dinner made its way to freedom.

* * *

It wasn't fair.

Best mates were supposed to _stay_ best mates. They were supposed to _share_ things and not pick over every little galleon or bit of chocolate or broom or cloak. He'd shared his _whole family_, including his baby sister! Literally everything he had he'd shared, and he thought they had an understanding about the girl. He had dibs! Harry _knew_ he fancied her! Yeah, it was only for her delicious arse, but still! He _knew_! That meant he had dibs, fair and square! Hermione with Lavender's knockers - _that_ would have been a marriage right there, right quick. An arse like that and those udders? _Yes fucking please_! It was a bit of a shame Lavender had to go and get herself raped and murdered during the battle. He'd been upset for a while afterward, bloody shame that. Especially after she'd started to come around again after dumping him the first time. Really though, why did all women have to run their bloody mouths all the time? Why couldn't they just understand what was what and leave it at that?

Ron sighed. Wonder if George would share Angie? She had great arse too. He'd been looking at it for six years already. He looked over at her and George on the sofa, careful not to turn too much toward the living room. She had a decent rack too, more than a handful. She was no Susan Bones, mind. Susan had the best rack at school, bar none. He'd already tried to make nice with her and Hannah - bloody puffs always traveled in packs, and she and Hannah were always together. So much so, he rather thought they preferred the company of other ladies. He was fine with that, as long as he got to be the filling in the sandwich, so to speak. That was a thought that kept him up nights.

He accidentally turned too far toward the living room, and caught sight of that bloody white card again. Fucking sitting there on the mantle screaming "Ha ha you sad tosser, now you're Ronnie no-mates!" He could deal with the girl leaving, he'd never miss the screaming, nagging, sit straight, play-nice, learn something, read more, clean up all the time. The only thing he'd miss about her was that incredible arse - but _Harry_, man. Harry was supposed to be his Best Mate. They were supposed to be famous and go to mental parties and get smashed and leave every woman panting and wanting more. _That_ was the real casualty in all this world-gone-mad, his beloved plan. They were supposed to be wicked naughty playboy gods, dripping in ladies and gold.

Nobody bothered to ask what Ron wanted though, did they? It was that fucking card's fault, too. Sitting there mocking him in his own bloody home. Wait til he got his wand back, he'd show it. Fucking arsehole card.

His own wand was under lock and key, but he didn't _need_ to use his own. He _could_ use someone else's! It wouldn't work as well as his, but well enough to incinerate that bloody card.

A slow grin began to spread across his face.

* * *

Bill descended the stairs after giving his face and neck a good scrub, and he felt ten times better. Something about being underground just left him feeling clammy all the time.

Fleur was in the kitchen making dinner - that had been a surprise as well, his mother had actually _asked_ if Fleur would mind making dinner. If he didn't know better, he'd accuse mum of being an impostor.

He strolled into the kitchen and kissed his wife on her head just quickly - she was busy after all.

"Anything I can do, hon?" He offered.

Fleur flashed a smile at him. She already had everything planned out in her mind and was using the opportunity to prove that she could handle a kitchen for her own family. it was evident in her eyes.

"Non, mon amour. J'ai tout juste tellement." She spared a second to kiss him and slap his behind as he left her to it.

He smiled and took a seat across from Ron at the table, loath to intrude on George and Angie's quiet time on the sofa. He watched Fleur work for a moment, still lost and amazed and thankful for whatever he'd done to deserve a brilliant woman like her. She was everything he'd never known he'd needed and more, and she showed him on a daily basis how she thought he was the same for her. Every moment together was a joy, even arguments.

He became aware then that Ron was also looking at Fleur, and not in a brotherly way. Bill reached across the table and cuffed him upside the head.

"Oi!" Ron frowned at him, then saw his glare and assumed his 'little-scamp-with-his-hand-in-the-biscuit-barrel' grin. As though that was somehow going to excuse him from checking out his wife.

"You going to keep your eyes where they belong or would you rather not be able to chew solid food?" He asked the little clown.

"Uhh..." Ron stammered, as he realized his ploy hadn't worked. He looked down at the table for a moment as his cheeks went red, then looked over at George and Angie on the sofa. "Say Bill... What wood you reckon your wand's made of?" He asked. He was trying very poorly to hide a sneaky grin, like Ron was stitched up at the thought of his own brilliance as he tried to pull one over on him.

After what his parents had told him about Ron and the wedding invitation, it wasn't difficult to see where Ron was headed with it, especially after dad had locked Ron's wand away.

Bill sighed and took his wand out, careful to keep it out of Ron's lunge-and-grab reach.

"It's Hawthorn, thirteen inches, with _Stupefy_."

Ron's head banged onto the table as he lost consciousness.

"Everyone - go ahead and eat without us, we might be a while. I'm not willing to let stupid here burn the place down trying to incinerate an invulnerable portkey invitation, so I'm taking him to St. Mungo's to have him checked for alchemy and potions and have a mind healer look at him."

"Aww, bless." Molly said from her favourite chair. She had claimed tenderness from overwork as the reason for letting Fleur cook dinner, so he didn't expect her to get up as she'd normally have done.

"Thank you son, we'd not have the means for another couple of weeks." Dad said from his chair, but came over and gave him a quick hug.

"It's nothing, Dad. Maybe start thinking about what to do with him if it turns out he's _not_ got something wrong with him."

"Oh. Yes, that's a fair point, really."

Bill picked up his little brother with one arm around his neck, and half-dragged him into the floo. A pinch of powder and green flames later, he stepped into the St. Mungo's receiving area.

"Welcome, what's the trouble?" The Welcome Witch asked.

"I'd like to get my little brother checked out by a mind healer and also checked for potions and other influences." Bill smiled at the hard-working medwitch.

She nodded and jotted a note on a tablet. "Just have a seat over there." She pointed toward an empty waiting area.

"Thanks." He shuffled Ron over to the nearest bench and sat him on it, then stuck him there with a sticking charm so he wouldn't fall over or slide off.

At least there looked to be a few magazines he hadn't read yet.

It was near to half an hour before they were approached by a middle-aged woman in green Healer robes.

"Good evening, I'm Healer Higgins. You're here for your brother is it?"

Bill shook the woman's hand. "Bill Weasley. Little brother Ronald. He's had some issues recently, some obsessive and idiotic behaviour, and I'd like to see if he's being affected by anything. Once we know he's not potioned or poisoned, I'd like him to see a mind Healer because if he isn't potioned then he has a lot of explaining to do."

The Healer smiled at him. "Well, the first part is very easy. Is he stunned?"

"Yes, I did it, to get him here without the shouting and nonsense. Also a sticking charm to the bench so he didn't fall off."

She nodded. "Very well, we'll ignore those then." She took her wand out and made some complicated patterns over Ron's limp form. A coloured display sprang into being in the air above him. Information scrolled upward, and the Healer paid close attention to it.

"Your brother has some lingering dark magic on him." She said. "It's strange though, it's just an echo. It's very difficult to detect, but also means that it isn't affecting him in any way. It's like he's wearing a smudge of soot from a dark magic fire he got too close to. Apart from that, your stunner and sticking charm, he isn't being affected by anything. Well, nothing magical at least."

"Brilliant, thank you Healer Higgins." Bill smiled.

"Sorry I couldn't be more help, Mister Weasley." She smiled back.

"No, no. You have been, definitely. Knowing he's not being dosed is a big help. It means it's down to the mind healer now. Thank you again."

"Good luck." She said, and went further into the hospital.

Bill sat back down next to Ron and waited another few minutes before he was approached by a thin, well-groomed man in purple Healer robes.

"Good evening, Mister Weasley is it?"

"Yes, Bill Weasley." He shook the man's hand.

"I'm Mind Healer Grimsby. I assume your brother is likely to complain if you wake him up?"

"Loudly. Without end."

Grimsby chuckled. "Let's get him into my office before waking him then, shall we?"

Bill nodded and cast a quick _Nullumpondus_ on Ron, then carried him to the Healer's office. The office was down in the basement of the building - a place Bill had never been before. There were several house elves coming and going through the halls of the basement, carrying towels or bedsheets or clothing. Grimsby led him to a secluded corner of the building, and opened a thick oak door set into thick concrete walls. The inside of the office was quite pleasant, neutral-coloured walls, soft, plush sofas and chairs, and a very nice cherry wood desk. There were several plants throughout the office as well, and natural lighting. It didn't feel like it was in a basement at all.

Bill set Ron in a comfortable position on a sofa.

"Would it be better if I stayed or waited upstairs?" He asked.

"It might be best if you waited upstairs, truthfully. I've found people are more willing to open up when they don't feel they have to be a certain way."

Bill nodded. "I'll wait for his return upstairs then." He left the pleasant office and went back to the waiting area. He really wanted to go home, but having any kind of diagnosis would be beneficial, so he stayed. He was bored out of his mind and paced the room more often than he'd like to admit, but it was only about an hour until Ron and Healer Grimsby returned.

"Wanker." Ron said sullenly, and went to the floo. He dropped a sickle in the dispenser and got a pinch of powder, then used it to return to the Burrow immediately.

"So, is there anything actually wrong with him?" He asked Healer Grimsby when Ron had gone and the green flames disappeared.

"Oh absolutely." Healer Grimsby nodded sadly. "Unfortunately, there really isn't anything I can do unless Ronald _wants_ to change. Right now he doesn't. He sees the world as hostile to him personally. He is the hero of his own life, beset on all sides by inequity and betrayal."

"Well, he would say that. His own actions have alienated everyone who's cared about him."

"Oh indeed. That much was very clear. My estimates place his mental age at about eight years old. Perhaps nine. I could very likely make an entire career out of just getting his mental age to match his physical, but again only if he wanted to make the effort."

Bill sighed. "Thank you for making the effort to evaluate him in any case, Healer."

"My pleasure. I don't get many patients honestly, and your brother was so interesting I've waived my fee. Enjoy the rest of your evening, Mister Weasley."

"That's stellar of you, Healer Grimsby, you as well."

Grimsby smiled and strolled back toward his office.

Bill stood quietly for a moment, and let the Healer's diagnosis sink into his mind. What it came down to, ultimately, was that Ron was Ron. He could be more than he was, but probably wouldn't.

He just had to try and explain that to his parents.

* * *

The Harbourfront Bistro was a large, bright place with modern furniture and most of the wall facing the harbour was windows. The view of the water and the boats bobbing on it was very pleasant. Gwenog had been there before, for team functions and occasionally with her dad, though he was getting a little old to be making the trip to Holyhead just to see her anymore. Sure, wizards and witches lived a very long time, but what nobody ever said was that they're just as susceptible as everyone else to the ravages of poor living. Seventy years of fried everything and beans counting as a vegetable had left him barely mobile. Sure, he was more powerful magically than ever, but magic didn't make up for a lack of physical activity. Gwenog was actually rather proud she'd made that observation, and that her chosen career kept her quite trim. Even when she decided she'd had enough of Quidditch in ten or twenty years, she'd be damn sure to stay in shape.

It was on the heels of those thoughts that Gwenog caught her first sight of Hermione Potter, and that sight made her instantly feel old, fat, and weak. Hermione didn't stride into the restaurant haughtily, she didn't slink in trying to go unnoticed. No, Hermione Potter simply appeared in the chair opposite her. Silently. Not a single other person noticed.

Hermione wore a comfortable dress in navy blue with short sleeves, and Gwenog was amazed by the state of her arms. Her wiry, developed muscles were plainly visible with her every movement. She appeared in her chair like she'd been there for a few minutes, and calmly trained her gaze on Gwenog. To say she was intimidating would be both true and massive understatement. The power Hermione radiated was beyond anything she'd ever experienced.

"Your wand please." Hermione held out her hand as her eyes bored into Gwenog's

Now hang on just a minute...

"What do you want with my wand?" Gwenog frowned.

"Very well. Have a nice life, Miss Jones." Hermione said as she pushed her chair back and began to stand.

"Hang on, I'm suspicious, not stupid." Gwenog fished her wand out of its holster at the small of her back and handed it over by the tip.

Hermione sat back down again and accepted her wand, then placed it on the table in front of her. "One might argue that suspicion precludes stupidity, provided the suspicion is founded in critical thinking rather than fear. Which one are you?"

Gwenog had to smile. The woman didn't disappoint. "Would I be here if it was fear?"

Hermione's gaze softened some, though it could by no means be construed as a smile.

"Why _are_ you here?" She asked. "Why am _I_ here?" It wasn't an accusatory tone, though. It sounded as though she was genuinely asking, rather than using the question as a prelude to leaving. Well, if she really wanted to know... that was the point of wanting to see her in the first place, really.

"First off, let me clear the pitch. There are no doubt hundreds of wizards and witches dying for a moment of your time, who think that because they have wealth or fame that you'll grant them whatever they want - I see that all time myself. That's not me. Thank you for coming, for granting me a moment to speak to you as a person instead of an icon. I read the papers, and I read between the lines. The fact that the Prophet has less than a thimbleful of actual information on you and your fiance says to me that you are both intensely private people and don't give a snitch for fame. That being the case, I knew there would be no opportunity to meet you otherwise. No Ministry dinners, no League appearances... you want to live your own life on your own terms, especially now that you're finished doing what no-one else had the spine to. The Ministry exists to safeguard the lives and rights of the constituent wizards and witches. As such, there should never have been a Voldemort problem in the first place. It should have been slapped down as just another idiotic supremacy cult. The fact that it wasn't says that the Ministry as such doesn't really exist anymore. It's nothing but a seething cesspit of corruption and pandering.

"So, that in mind, I am here to offer you and your fiance my deepest and most humble thanks and apologies, for not at least helping you do what you have done. Every single one of us carries a deadly weapon with us at all times, and yet couldn't be arsed to communicate with each other or congregate to stand up for ourselves. I'm here to thank you for the depth of your personal responsibility - a responsibility I share, and yet did not discharge. You're here, I guess, because you're a nice person and decided to give me a chance? I'm less sure on that count."

Hermione seemed to consider her words with her head cocked slightly to one side, like she was running through all the ramifications of what had been said. "There are many people we blame for the situation that tarnished our childhoods - and those of our parents - but you aren't one of them. You are correct in your summation of the reason our actions were needed, and I find it refreshing to encounter someone who sees it clearly, including your own responsibility. Thank you, Miss Jones."

"Please, call me Gwen."

"Alright Gwen. I admit I find it refreshing to talk to another woman who actually uses her mind, as you clearly do. The entirety of Magical Britain seems to have never heard of forethought or responsibility or common sense, so thank you for that as well. I find myself at something of a loss for where to go from here. I was honestly not expecting an apology or a thank you. Did you have anything else you wanted to talk about? Have you eaten here before?" Hermione seemed to relax somewhat.

"I imagine you get a lot of desperate people saying thank you like they would to someone who kept the owl post running, or who kept the floos working. 'Without you we'd be sunk!', that kind of thing. The kind of thank you people only give when they finally realize everything could've been completely tits up and now isn't. Lazy, ignorant thanks, without a shred of Mea Culpa. Sorry for that. Yes, I've eaten here a few times. The food is quite good. I'm partial to the prawn sandwich."

"Lovely. have you eaten lunch yet?" Hermione leaned sideways slightly, and said something under her breath that she couldn't catch.

"No, not yet." Gwen admitted. She thought the point was to come and have lunch and talk, but now she saw that lunch was only ever going to happen if Hermione decided to stay. She supposed she couldn't really blame the woman.

The waiter came over and delivered menus then, without saying a word. Gwen thought it odd, because the wait staff always introduced themselves and made friendly conversation, it was part of the job. Did Hermione just use a wandless _Confundus_ on the man? Her estimation of Hermione's power shot upward like a Firebolt.

Hermione looked over the menu, but Gwen had already decided on her favourite. Hermione looked up from the menu toward the waiter, and the waiter immediately approached, pad and pen in hand.

"I'd like the lime and coriander chicken with vegetables please, and a full order of fish and chips, but the fish and chips is to go." She told him.

The waiter turned to her then, so she ordered the prawn sandwich. The waiter nodded, and went to the kitchen.

"The fish is lightly breaded and very crispy, but the batter doesn't stay that way long and doesn't reheat very well, so you're aware." Gwen said. She assumed it was either for her fiance or for dinner, and either way it was good information to have.

Hermione actually did smile at that, but it wasn't a warm, friendly smile. It was the smile a spider gives a fly caught in its web.

"It won't have a chance to go cold, it's for the Hit Wizard with his wand at your back."

Gwen felt a soft poke at her back, between her shoulderblades. She slowly turned to look, but there was no-one behind her.

"Disillusioned, of course. We _are_ in public." Hermione added.

Gwen hadn't thought she could hold Hermione in any higher regard, but she had been mistaken. Even with her incredible power and obvious fitness, she didn't take any chances. No doubt she had learned that the hard way, and Gwen felt another stab of guilt over that. What an absolute thrill to talk with a woman who thought her way through confontations before they ever became confrontations. What must it be like to debate with her? To discuss magical theory? Gwen felt herself getting excited at the prospect of having an intellectual conversation with someone who could actually hold one. A smile spread across her face.

"Harming you or anyone is the farthest thing from my mind, but you never can be too careful. I appreciate the lowering of your guard, thank you."

If she wasn't lowering her guard, she wouldn't have told her about her backup. Gwen abandoned her "Captain" persona completely then, it would have been a hindrance and an insult to Hermione's intelligence. It was dead useful for making teammates perform well, and keeping fans at arms' length, but at this table it simply wasn't needed, and it felt like a breath of fresh air to drop it.

Hermione's smile warmed considerably, and Gwen could tell she'd impressed her by recognizing the reality of the situation.

"Your public persona doesn't portray your intellect. Is that intentional or a consequence of attempting to fit in?" Hermione asked.

"A consequence. It started as a way to get the team to do what they're asked and follow formations, and just developed into a mask to hide behind in public. I've had to deal with reporters a lot, especially when I was first starting out. It's useful, but does have its downsides."

Hermione nodded. "It's nice to meet the real you then. You and I actually met once when I was in fifth year, at one of Slughorn's parties. I... thought you were a bit full of yourself, honestly. I'm glad to see it was just your 'public face'."

Gwen chuckled. "Sorry for that. I do tend to project quite a bit. I'm glad you gave me another chance for conversation."

"These days conversation is in short supply. I haven't met another woman I could have a conversation with since I met my friend Luna."

"Luna's a nice name, not very common. Her surname wouldn't be Lovegood, would it?'

"You know her?"

Gwen smiled. "I used to babysit her sometimes after her mother died. I grew up down the village in Ottery Saint Catchpole."

"Well. Small world. She never mentioned you, I'm sorry."

"There's no reason she would. If she even remembers me, I was young and far more concerned with Quidditch and my own social life. One more regret. How did you meet?"

"School. Luna was in the year after me. She actually made friends with Harry first, but she's a great person. One of only two who visited us in the hospital regularly. My best friend and Maid of Honour."

"Wow. Yeah, small world. What happened with the hospital if you don't mind me asking?"

Hermione immediately tensed, her face ceased to show emotion, but her eyes flashed with pain. For a second she thought she might have committed a terrible faux-pas, but the young witch took a deep breath and deliberately relaxed.

"Death eater hit Harry in the back with a curse. It was... not good."

"Merlin, I'm sorry."

"It's fine. It turned out alright, but the worst four months of my life."

"Four months?! Sweet Magic. My worst crash was only three weeks. Even then I nearly went out of my mind being forced to rest. I can't imagine what kind of hell four months would be."

"Worse because it was Harry and I was left to research a counter to the curse as well as defend his unconscious body while going out of my mind with worry. Luna and another friend Neville were wonderful during that time."

"Defend his unconscious body?"

"Even though I was next to him every moment, I still foiled one possible attempt on his line."

On his line? Oh dear Merlin, some filthy witch actually tried to get to his broomstick?!

"I... I can't even... Who... no, there are probably dozens... That's just... I'm so sorry. That's horrifying."

"Thank you, but that's been the last several years, honestly. Life hasn't been pleasant since... well, ever really. Not until this last month."

"See, this is exactly why I wanted to meet you and say thank you. I hope the rest of your lives are pure bliss to compensate. So unfair. I wish I had come to you and offered to help when it still mattered."

The waiter brought their food out, without any sign of the fish and chips, which made sense if it was to go, they'd wait until they were finished their dinner to bring it out so it was as fresh and hot as possible. After discussing such painful events, Gwen was pleased to see the food put a smile on Hermione's face. The prawn sandwich was just as good as she remembered, and neither meal lasted long.

"You were right, the food is quite nice." Hermione said as she put her knife and fork down and pushed the plate away.

"Been living in Holyhead for almost ten years. My dad loves this place, when he can get here. Hasn't been able to for a few years now. I've been trying to figure out a portal system in my spare time, but I haven't gotten very far with it." Gwen told her somewhat sadly.

"I'd be surprised if you had. The Department of Mysteries hasn't come up with a workable solution yet, at least not one I could see when I was there. A wonderfully ambitious thing to try, though. You might be farther ahead to experiment with Vanishing Cabinets. You might have to test them frequently, but at least they're currently possible."

"True. I should probably secure a practical solution while working on the pet project."

"Makes me want to figure something out for international travel. Something besides the bloody floo." Hermione looked distasteful at the mention of the floo network.

Gwen chuckled. "Not a fan of the venerated floo network?"

"Not in the slightest. If it were an independent, autonomic network that worked without needing a department in the ministry to actually function, then maybe. As it is you can have your escape route cut off in seconds. I fully intend to look into an alternative, but it's on a back burner for now."

"Let me know when you do, I'll share my notes on what I have so far. I'd love to have your input on it. I'm no Hermione Granger, but if I can help with your project then I'd love to as well."

"How far along are you? Is it still theoretical or have you finished the Arithmancy?" There was a joy, an excitement to Hermione's eyes that Gwen found just wonderful. This woman probably studied the proofs for Gamp's Laws in her spare time, looking for mistakes or loopholes. It made Gwen want to go home and swim through more calculations.

"Sadly I'm still chewing through the Arithmancy. I got bogged down inside Brazzleton's spatial corollary, trying to reduce distance to zero. Seeing your excitement makes me want to go bang my head against it some more though." Gwen smiled.

"Are you free next Friday?" Hermione asked as her eyes bored into Gwen's.

"I certainly can be. Normally there's practice every day, but we're weeks from an actual match, so nobody will bat an eye if I miss one." Everyone knew Gwen was wholly devoted to the team, and she only missed a practice occasionally.

"Good. I'll send a a proper invitation between now and then. I must admit you're not what I expected, Gwen, and I'm pleasantly surprised. I don't meet many people, and even fewer I'd meet a second time."

"Likewise... do you prefer Miss Granger or Mrs. Potter?"

"I prefer Mrs. Potter, but you can call me Hermione, Gwen." She handed Gwen's wand back to her.

Gwen flashed her a smile. "Likewise, Hermione. It's been an absolute pleasure to meet you. I look forward to discussing our projects."

Hermione motioned to the waiter and he brought her a container, presumably with fish and chips inside. She accepted the container and slipped the waiter a twenty. He left again without saying a word. Gwen found herself wanting to know how she did that.

"Enjoy the rest of your day Gwen, and don't worry about lunch, it's taken care of." Hermione smiled at her as she simply disappeared - no Disillusionment, no Apparation, just gone.

Gwen found herself admiring the younger woman and thinking about what she was doing with her life as she left the restaurant. Somehow Quidditch just didn't seem so important anymore.

* * *

"That was a bit surprising." Harry said when they arrived back to Potter House. "I thought for sure you were done in the first ten seconds there."

"So did I," Hermione smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "You were brilliant though. She probably thinks I'm some kind of wandless magic master now. What did you do to the waiter?"

"Just a silent _Confundus_. Nothing special." He kissed her tenderly. "I'm thrilled you think she could be a friend. You want to know what Luna thinks of her, that's why you'll invite her for Friday, right?"

She kissed him tenderly again, eager for more. "When did you get to be so smart?" She smiled softly at him, love and lust evident in her eyes.

"When I finally realized you were the best thing that ever happened to me."

Hermione laughed and kissed him again. "Bloody flattery." She put the fish and chips in his hands and kissed him again quickly. "Go eat, then you can get back to the flattery. My back could use you when you're done too."

He grinned back at her, "Alright love. Go have a read or something and I'll be with you in a minute."

He sat in the kitchen and enjoyed the piping hot fish and chips with a root beer, but it didn't take him more than fifteen minutes. Hermione was curled in her favourite spot on the sofa, legs tucked under her, writing on a lapdesk she'd glued to the arm of the sofa with a sticking charm.

"Gwen's invitation for Friday?" He asked.

"Finished that in the first minute, stuck a portkey on it to get her to the Apparation point outside the Wards, and asked Cassi to deliver it. This is for the baby." She smiled at him and ran one hand over her ever-expanding stomach.

"It makes my insides warm to hear you talk about the baby like that. I'll wait until you're finished before I ask if I can read it. Do you want to finish first or come back to it after your back?' He stood over her and kissed her forehead.

"Just give me a few minutes, I'll come up and join you in the bedroom. I need to get changed anyway. I like this dress, but it's not great for lounging about."

"Same for the dragonhide. Great in a fight, not so great for wearing around the house." He took the dragonhide vest off, which left him in a sweaty T-shirt, then took that off as he made his way up the stairs. He waited until he was in the bedroom to remove the dragonhide pants.

Hermione was waiting for him naked on the bed when he got out of the shower. He dried himself quickly with magic, and went to the dresser to get clean clothes.

"Don't bother." She told him. "I want my delicious naked slave boy to massage me."

Harry laughed. "As you wish, my queen." They would definitely be exploring the roleplay later. For now he was delighted to fulfill her desires. He took the vitamin and emollient cream from the nightstand and warmed it by rubbing it over his palms before he got down to massaging her back. She lay on her side with her knees at ninety degrees, and he started gently as he massaged the tired muscles from her neck to her behind. When he was done that side, he grabbed her hipbone and rolled her over to her other side, then went around the other side of the bed to repeat the performance. When he was finished, he rolled her onto her back and worked the cream into the skin of her stomach, then gently moved to each breast, then down to her stomach again, then more cream for her hips and buttocks and thighs. The cream was fantastic for allowing skin to stretch and thus preventing stretch marks, but it also smelled good and let his hands glide over her skin.

By the time he had finished his ministrations he was full-on and ready to service her other needs, but Hermione was fast asleep.

He folded the comforter over her and lay down beside her after kissing her stomach and their unborn child.

"I love you kid, but you're really taking a lot out of your mum, and I'm a little put out by that." He whispered.

He lay down next to her, and she unconsciously snuggled into his heat. He kissed her head and wrapped an arm around her protectively.

A nap was fine too.


	6. Chapter 6

Gwen had to admit, she dearly loved a cold beer after a hot soak. She had made the cold beer a daily tradition long before the hot soak though. When she had started, eager and frenetic as these young recruits, she hadn't needed the soak, just the beer. The long hot soak hadn't become necessary or wanted for years. She had spent far too much time and far too much beer being exuberant in her youth, when, looking back on it, she could have been helping make the country safer for these girls and ones like them. She doubted any of these girls thought about anything beyond the game and the fans and the fame, same as she had done.

She drained the last of her beer while it was still tooth-numbingly cold, and set the bottle on table next to the sofa.

It would be her last.

After talking with Hermione, Gwen had gone on a tear through her old notes and several advanced Arithmancy books, and even some treatises on theoretical Arithmancy that hadn't been proven. She hadn't made any real headway on her project yet, but in researching she had come across several books on caring for one's body and brain, and she had been horrified to learn that alcohol diminished one's cognitive capacity over time. She had been fairly certain that such degeneration only happened to Muggles, but she was no fool. If there was even a chance it happened to Witches too, that was the end of that.

After tomorrow's practice, she would be switching to fruit juices and something the Americans had come up with - iced tea. She was planning on experimenting with it to get it right later that very evening, but it was tradition that the Captain celebrate a good practice with the team, so she was in the Crash Pad with the rest of the girls, smiling as they danced and imbibed a little too much. Sadly, one of those who enjoyed herself a little too much on a regular basis was Ginny, who liked to ensconce herself next to Gwen. Gwen didn't have any greater-than-thou attitude, but Ginny felt herself perhaps a bit closer to her than Gwen was comfortable with.

True to form, Ginny slid onto the sofa next to her and promptly belched flames.

"Scuse me." She grinned. "Firewhiskey's great. You're great too. Thans for bein a great Capn, Capn." Ginny's eyes were large and glassy, and her cheeks pink.

"You're welcome." Gwen answered.

"Bein Missus Potter is gonna be great too. We're gonna have lill redhead babies with green eyes and isss gonna be great. I'm gonna be a great Shaser and be famous and great."

"You're going to be Missus Potter?" Gwen arched an eyebrow.

"Yup. Harry soopt in, killt basisk, killt Tom, rescute luv uff s'life - thass me. We're dessiny. Dessint." Ginny frowned, "Desstined." She enunciated it slowly. "So he blongs t'me. Isss luv."

Ginny giggled then, and hid her smile behind a hand. "No no nononono... no. Nope. Can't say it."

Gwen had to admit she had a great deal of trouble imagining the man who could inspire the love of Hermione Granger getting together with a party girl like Ginevra Weasley. Yes, Ginny was drunk, but it struck Gwen like Godric Gryffindor dropping Rowena Ravenclaw for... well, for Ginny Weasley. It made no sense at all and was more than a little unbelieveable.

Gwen turned toward Ginny. "Can't say what? He's coming to visit you? That's where you go at night when you think nobody will notice you're gone?"

Ginny's grin fell. "No," She pouted, "Should be out gettin him back, but stuck here. Wanna play! Luv the team, Luv you. You're great, team's great. Gotta stay. Buuuuuutt... I fink he'll come to me, even if he disshes BookyBeaverBoringBushyBissh atth'altar."

Ginny threw her head back and laughed at that, and it wasn't a warm laugh. "Leave her inna wedding dress. Yeah, thasss good. Mmmm. Wanna nuther firewhiskey! You want one? I'll gesshu sum!"

Gwen held a hand out. "No! No thanks. I'm good."

"Okay! I'm gunna gessum. Lemme know iffyu wannwun." Ginny got up and made her way unsteadily back to the bar. Gwen knew Ginny was close to being cut off, so she didn't bother to try to steer her away from the booze. She'd learn her lesson tomorrow.

Or not.

It would be a little sad to see her go, but she wouldn't be the first talented hopeful to miss making the team due to inability to manage themselves. Still, Ginny had brought up an interesting story, and she looked forward to hearing what Hermione had to say about it on Friday.

Now that she had found someone she could be herself with, Gwen found she was looking forward to that more than anything. It made her wonder what Potter was like as well. The paper had made him out to be some gloryhound - but also a saviour, an attention seeking brat, and a host of other obviously false personas. Gwen couldn't help but think that anyone who could win a mind like Hermione's had to also be incredibly keen. She looked forward to seeing the two of them together, though she really had no way of knowing when or even if that was going to happen.

She really hoped it did though.

She took a look around at the Crash Pad, and she knew the place. She knew the sofas, the chairs, the comfy pillows, the bar, the fireplace, all of it. She knew it like the back of her hand - but for some reason the place she had spent so much time in felt false now. It felt... _hollow_. Yes, that was the word. It lacked meaning. It was still comfortable enough as a place, but she didn't belong there anymore. Like it was part of the mask that had come off and she was loathe to put back in place.

Would it really be so bad if she didn't play Quidditch anymore? She had tons of money, enough to live on comfortably for the rest of her life if she didn't go crazy with it. She could spend time with Dad while he still had time, devote some real time to a worthwhile project and really get stuck in. The more she thought about it, the more it appealed. She realized then that she'd had enough of Quidditch life.

She stood up and left the Crash Pad, but paused at the door to say goodbye to it and all the memories it held. She didn't bother to say anything to the rest of the girls, they were too drunk to care anyway at this point. After a last look around, Gwenog went home to check when her contract expired.

* * *

"What's this?" Malcolm frowned at the little multicoloured sphere with its coruscating, shifting hues. It hung from a silver chain, clearly made to wear as a necklace.

"Something Harry and I have been working on in our spare time. Granted that's only been a few days with planning the wedding and everything else, but we thought it was important because it will help us spend more time together as a family. It's a magic battery." Hermione beamed at her father. "It was Harry's idea, really. I think he would just love to have someone to fly with."

Malcolm looked at his daughter yet again gobsmacked at the incredible wonder of which she was capable.

"It _should_ enable you to fly a broom and work the floo and other things that don't require active magic, but we haven't actually tested it yet." She quirked one side of her mouth the way she always did when things weren't exactly how she wanted them.

"How?!" He blurted. "I mean, we know you're a genius Hermione, but this... Would this let us see your school?!"

"In theory, yes, it should. In theory, this would be like a surrogate magical core. Everything checks out math-wise, but until we test it we won't know for sure."

"When will you get to test it?" He asked. He hadn't dared to hope of seeing her school for years - not since she was eleven.

"Not until tomorrow at least. It was draining to make, and then we had to fill it, so we're both a little exhausted right now. Tomorrow we'll make a test monkey and hopefully the battery will react well to being bonded."

"What's that mean? Bonded?" He was talking magic with his baby! And understanding it! Finally!

"Well, in order for the magic inside the battery to respond to your will, the battery has to be bonded to you, and that will take a little of your blood to do. That's why we want to test it first and make sure it works properly first. It would be dangerous and foolish to just assume it works simply because the Arithmancy says it will."

"And Arithmancy is the magical engineering, so to speak. The math underlying the spells and whatnot?"

"You were listening!" She beamed at him. Oh, for the days when she looked up at him as though he knew all the secrets of the universe...

"Of course I was listening. It might take me a bit longer than your mother to _understand_, but I always listen, sweetheart. Well... when I'm not focused on punching your husband, that is. Sorry."

Hermione laughed and hugged him. "Already forgiven Dad, you know that. Though, speaking of... have you and Mum had a chance to talk about the whole England/Australia thing yet?"

He sighed at that. Now that he remembered their former life, he had to admit it had been a good one. He and Eleanor had grown up in England, it was their home... but he really didn't want to go back. There was something about living with so much sunshine - something neither he nor Eleanor had ever had before - that made them feel alive in a way that they never had before. It was a joy to get out of bed in the morning.

Neither of them had ever had any issues with depression or _not_ wanting to get out of bed, but even when they stayed up too late and were cuddled together under the blankets, here the day called to them. They were happy here in a way they never had been in England. Every day felt like a vacation - especially now that Queenie and her man were around. He felt _satisfied_ like never before and that was not something he ever wanted to give up. Fortunately for him, Eleanor felt the same way. They had tentatively broached the subject over dinner last night, but the real discussion hadn't happened until the wee hours during the happy afterglow.

"We have, and we think we're going to stay here. For the most part. We can afford to cut back on the number of clients at the practice, and maybe look at taking on a couple of associates to handle the extra load if we need some sudden time off. Your mother and I genuinely love it here. Since you two have the floo thingy, we can always turn up at Harry's Manor when we feel neglected." He grinned at her.

She squeezed him in a hug. When had she gotten so bloody strong? "We'd never neglect you on purpose, but there will be a large distraction soon. I rather imagine you might be coming to visit just for his or her sake." Hermione smiled at him with mature eyes as she rubbed one hand over her belly.

"Have you talked names yet?" After getting over the initial shock and getting to know Harry, Malcolm had to admit he had no fears left and he was looking forward to a little one to spoil. Maybe even moreso than Eleanor.

She crinkled her nose in a way that said they hadn't, and that she was putting it off even though she knew they shouldn't. She had done the same thing all through primary school. Usually about talking to other kids rather than her homework.

"No..." She said. "I know we should, but..."

"But what, sweetie? It's not like you put things off."

"Truthfully I'm a little afraid of it, Dad. What if Harry wants some hideous, weird name like Albus or Severus? What if he hates the idea of having a child named after a favourite literary character? What if -"

"Honey, Harry is your husband. He's a good kid, and he loves you. Do you really think he won't listen to what you want? It's not a snap decision, Hermione. Your mother and I talked about your name for nine months." He smiled gently at her and poked her in the shoulder to get her to breathe.

She opened her mouth to say something else, then closed it again, and wrapped her arms around him. Best feeling in the world.

"I have been going a little mental over it haven't I?"

"Don't make the mistakes your mother and I made when we first started. _Talk_ to each other. About _everything_, even if it doesn't seem like it warrants. You both already know you're there for each other when the big stuff happens. You need to apply that to all the little stuff, too. You both need to the be the one person you can each tell anything to."

She looked at him as her lower lip quivered and her eyes started to water. "I missed you so much, Dad. I missed your advice." She smiled and dried her eyes with the backs of her fingers.

"I missed your magic, Hermione. You were always magic, even when you didn't have any."

He hugged her again and kissed the top of her head and thanked his lucky stars for having her there to hold at all.

* * *

**2nd October, 1998**

**Hey Kiddo,**

**Hard to believe it's only 37 days until I get to officially marry your mum (again). I'm so happy and so excited I nearly wet myself every time I think about it. Yes, you're already on the way, and there will be some people who will want to make you feel bad about that. They'll say that your mum and I had to get married because I got her pregnant with you, they'll call you a bastard or some other such rubbish because they want to hurt you and make you feel bad. Don't listen. I have loved your mother for years and years, and she feels the same about me. I only ever wanted to be with her, and both of us wanted - want - you more than anything. We love each other and we love you. The circumstances surrounding your conception both break my heart and fill me with such love and admiration for your mum that it still makes me cry sometimes. You won't understand our feelings for a long time, but you do deserve to know the truth, so that's what I'm going to write to you today. I hope you come to understand it and how much we love each other and you when you're old enough.**

**Your mum and I had hard childhoods. We grew up in a time when witches and wizards killed each other for power and money and incredibly stupid ideas. We had to fight terrible, evil people just for the right to survive and live our lives as we choose. One of those people nearly killed me. Only your mother's love, dedication, and smarts saved my life.**

**Even so, while she sat by my side in the hospital one night, I did die. I stopped breathing and it took healers a long time to get me to start breathing again. That was when your mum decided you needed to exist. She felt helpless as she watched me die, and the only thing she could do about it was to have you. Your mum broke rules and laws and did the impossible, kiddo, just so you could be born and it makes me cry just thinking about what she went through.**

**Your mum is the most brilliant witch in the world though, and a few months after you became you, she found a cure for me. She saved me by making you, and then she saved me so I could be around to love you both. I'll never get over that.**

**So when some idiot inevitably tries to make you feel bad about who you are and when you were born, you look that idiot straight in the eye and you feel sorry for that person. They were never loved as much as you are. They were never wanted as much as you are, and their actions are making them even less loved and wanted. You be you, kiddo. And know that your mum and dad love you more than anything.**

**Sorry, I still get a bit weepy over the whole thing (don't tell anyone!). In other, happier news, your mum is out right now with your Auntie Luna and a woman who I think has the potential to be another of your Aunties. She's smart like your mum and plays Quidditch professionally, so I guess if you're reading this and you figure out I'm talking about your Auntie Gwenog, then I guess we'll know how it turned out. If she turns out to not be your auntie, then I guess that'll be a bit more sad, but I hope she is. She seems like a good person.**

**I'll wrap this up now, your Uncle Nev and I are taking your Nan and Granddad for their first flying lesson in a few minutes. I can't wait to teach you how to ride a bike and fly and iceskate and all kinds of brilliant things.**

**See you soon, kiddo.**

**Love always,**

**Dad**

* * *

Luna stepped quietly out of the floo and smiled. Even though the floors were multicoloured inlaid stone and the walls plaster wainscotted in teak and the staircase polished marble, it still felt warm and inviting. It felt like Harry. Maybe it was the ancient racing brooms on display plaques here and there. Maybe it was the subtle reds and golds hidden within the decorations. Then again, it felt like Hermione too. Open shelves stuffed with books pressed between carved stone quill bookends. The center table held quill, ink, and pre-cut sheets of parchment on a blotter. Maybe it was the scent of vanilla and flowers, mixed with Harry's wilder pine-meets-the-ocean smell.

Whatever the reason, Luna felt immediately at home. A soft _pop_ sounded next to her.

"Welcome to Potter House, Auntie Lovegood. Please follow Cassi to the sitting room." The House Elf bowed and walked toward the hallway on the far side of the foyer.

"Nice to meet you Cassi, you can call me Luna if you like. Thanks for taking care of my friends."

"That bes Cassi's pleasure, Auntie Luna." Cassi smiled at her as she let Luna past her into the sitting room. She could see Harry's black mop of hair moving backward and forward slightly, and she could hear Hermione moaning, but she couldn't see her. Luna hadn't ever seen two real people having sex before, so she was a little curious, and quietly stepped around the side of the sofa to get a better look.

Instead, she saw Harry working his thumbs into the soles of Hermione's feet.

"Hey Luna," Harry smiled at her, "Come on in, don't be shy."

Luna flushed slightly at that. She _had_ had a crush on Harry not that long ago, and an invitation like that sent her mind all kinds of places. She knew there was no chance of anything like that happening, so she calmly put those thoughts aside for later. "Hey Harry." She smiled at him. "Is that pleasurable or painful, Hermione? I can't quite tell."

"It's _uhhh_... It's bliss, Luna. Especially after lugging an extra twenty pounds around all the time. Would you mind, love?" Hermione looked at Harry.

"Mind what?" He looked up as he finished and cleaned the oil from her foot before he let it go.

"Would you do Luna's feet?"

"Well, if you don't mind loaning me out, love. I know how possessive you get." He winked at Luna.

"He does have a point, you know." Luna grinned at Hermione.

Hermione levered herself up and swung her feet back to her slippers before she reached over and kissed Harry deeply. "Prat." She stood and moved to the chair beside Harry, and motioned for Luna to take her place on the sofa.

Harry took a moment to rub the muscles of his hands while Luna took her shoes and socks off, and then poured some more oil on his hands to warm the oil up. Luna lay back as Hermione had done, and put her feet in his lap.

Harry immediately laughed. Luna's toenails were all different colours.

"Is something funny?" She asked.

Harry shook his head. "Nope. Everything is exactly as it should be, I just should've guessed."

"Yes, you should have." She smiled. Harry grinned and took her left foot in his hands. His hands were surprisingly rough, but also gentle. She knew her feet were clean as she'd showered not half an hour ago, so she relaxed, lulled by his rhythmic squeezing. Then he started actually massaging, using his thumbs and knuckles to squeeze and stretch the muscles in her feet. There was one particular spot that usually cramped when she was on the ladder for too long, and when Harry worked on it, she found herself making the same noises Hermione had, without meaning to. She heard Hermione giggle and looked over at her, but she was smiling as she watched.

"I know, right?" She grinned.

Harry switched to her right foot after he decided her left was finished.

"I think we may not need a spa day after this, Hermione." She smiled back.

"I get one every day, thanks to Manslave Honeybuns. He pampers me mercilessly. Today is mostly about just having some girl time. I miss you and wanted to spend some time with you, but I also want your opinion on our third party member."

"You already know my opinion on Harry, Hermione." Luna said. Why would she want her opinion on someone they already discussed at length?

"Not Harry. We're going to spa time with a witch I met last week. I trust your opinion and I want to know if you think we can trust her. I like her, but I only met her once."

"Oh_Ooohhhh_." Harry had hit that particular spot on her right foot. "Ahem, I'll be happy to help if I can." She smiled back at Hermione while biting her lip.

Harry finished her right foot, and cleaned them both off, then dried them on the towel he'd used for Hermione's feet.

"Thank you both, that was quite lovely." She wondered if maybe Harry would teach that to Neville... Neville? Why had she thought of him just then? Hadn't she decided they were finished? He wanted his plants and to settle down and maybe teach, she wanted to explore everything everywhere, find what didn't want to be found. They were too different, and she didn't want to keep him waiting for her when he had so much to give some lucky girl who... The thought of him with someone else was unexpectedly painful. Deeply painful. Was she wrong? Or did she want him anyway, and damn the consequences? Strange...

"You alright Luna? Did I hurt something?" Harry asked, his brow furrowed.

Luna smiled back at him. "No no, nothing like that. I just realized I'm in need of some girl talk."

"Well that's handy." Hermione smiled.

"Oh." Harry and Hermione both said in unison. The Wards had just alerted them to a presence.

"Guess your third just arrived." Harry said as he gathered up the oil and cleaning cloth and towel. I'll be upstairs. You've got your -"

"Yes love, I have the emergency portkey, my backup wand, and everything else." Hermione smiled at him. "Have fun tinkering while we're gone. We'll let you know when we get back."

Harry leaned down and kissed her soundly. "Have fun. Love you."

"Love you too, sexy." She smiled back at him, then watched him walk away. Luna watched too.

Hermione sighed when Harry bounded up the stairs, then stood up and walked to the front hall to pick up her purse and jacket.

"So where are we off to?" Luna asked her.

"I wanted to try something different, so I booked the three of us spa treatments in the magical area of San Diego California."

Luna squealed and hugged Hermione. "I've never been there!"

Hermione laughed. "Me either, this will be new for both of us." She opened the front door and closed it behind them after Luna was out. "It's a fair walk to the edge of the Wards, I thought we'd meet her halfway."

They met near one of the fountains, and as they watched the witch approach, Luna couldn't help but feel there was something familiar about her.

"Good afternoon!" Hermione waved to the witch.

"Good afternoon!" She waved back. She was shortish, slightly shorter than she was, which made Hermione the giraffe of the three, at about five-eight. The new witch was also clearly fit and athletic, though not nearly as toned as Hermione was - which might just be Hermione's illusion. She couldn't see the baby, after all.

"I hope you don't have anything against spas or having your nails done." Hermione said, "That's the plan to begin with. Afters will be back here for showtime."

"Wow," The other witch raised her eyebrows, "That's not something I've done in a very long time. Also, what's showtime?"

Hermione simply smiled. "I had hair and nails done with my mum a few weeks ago, and I found it quite nice. That was the first time, and we managed to talk more during that hour than we had previously, so I thought it might be a different sort of venue for getting to know each other, when we all look equally ridiculous."

Luna smiled at that. Hermione loved equal footing, even though it was difficult to find something to be equal to Hermione about.

"I'm game if you are." The other witch smiled. "Nice to see you again Luna. You turned out quite pretty."

Luna's smile faltered. She thought there was something familiar about her! Where though, and when?

"Clearly we've met, but I don't remember - " She started.

"No, I didn't think you would. You were only five or six, and I didn't have nearly as much hair back then. I used to babysit you sometimes during the summers."

Images bubbled up from memory then, games of tag, being cuddled because she didn't know where mummy and daddy were, secret broomrides around the house.

"Gennug?" She asked.

The other witch's face grew into a broad smile. "You always had trouble with doublewes."

Luna stepped into her and hugged her second-ever friend. "I missed you! What happened to you?"

"Recruited out of seventh year, been playing for Holyhead ever since. Never really stopped to think about anyone but myself while I was young, and by the time I wasn't so young, it had already been a long time. Glad you turned out alright though. I was sorry to hear about your mum. She was a lovely witch."

Luna let her go and took a step back. "Thanks." Mum in the garden, mum hunched over her workbook, mum happily singing while she cooked. The images were never far from the surface, even though she'd dealt with most of the grief. The mum-sized hole in her heart was always there. Father did his best, but... "You would have been a year older than Hermione then, you didn't need to be a replacement mum."

"I'd have come anyway if I'd had a thought in my head. I was always partying. Or healing."

"Let's have the discussion in comfort and not standing in the garden." Hermione suggested as she held out a squashed soda can she'd pulled from her purse. Luna could tell Hermione had seen her reaction to Gwen talking about her mum and was steering things in another direction. She was such a great friend. Luna smiled briefly to Hermione, and placed her index finger on the Portkey. Gwen pinched it between her finger and thumb, as did Hermione.

"Let's go have fun." Hermione said, and the familiar yank-and-spin grabbed the three of them. They landed quietly in the middle of a shopping district. The sun was out, without a single cloud to sully the pure blue dome above them. To their left was the pacific ocean, and a well-maintained stone staircase leading down the cliff face to the golden sand below. Under their feet was a patch of green grass that surrounded a fountain. They could tell that most of the shops around them were muggle, but there were also a couple that stood out as magical, including the one directly behind them called The Golden Portal. Its doors were round, gold, and displayed a constantly shifting view of different places on their surface. Almost none of the people walking around acknowledged its existence.

Hermione tucked the portkey back into her purse and strode toward The Golden Portal. She pulled one of the doors open, and stepped aside. "I'm told blissful relaxation awaits, so after you."

Luna smiled. "After Harry massaging my feet, I think any more might send me into a coma."

Gwen's eyebrows climbed. "Harry Potter massaged your feet? This morning?"

Luna nodded. "After Hermione loaned him out, of course. He's a wonderful friend and a wonderful masseur. Doesn't Hermione look _Happy_?"

"I absolutely am, even if I don't look it, and there's a good reason for that." Hermione smiled knowingly.

"Okay, wow. I thought... I don't know, that he'd be out slaying evil or diplomacizing dragons or something." She stepped past Hermione to join Luna in the reception area, and Hermione let the door close behind her as she entered.

"We keep those things for the weekends. You should always do something fun on the weekend." Hermione said seriously.

Gwen just stared at her, stunned. Slaying evil and talking to dragons was _fun_? What did they do during the week?! She closed her mouth and took a breath as she felt very very small, then noticed Luna trying not to smile.

Oh.

She was taking the piss. _Hermione Potter was taking the piss._ Some rational part of her mind told her that of course Hermione took the piss, she was a witch just like she was, had friends just like she did, and joked around just like any other witch. She was Hermione Potter though, so she just _did it better_. Still, it was a sobering realization to Gwen - not that Hermione was a normal witch, but that Gwen herself had made the mistake of thinking that she wasn't. She had been caught up in the same hype and nonsense as everyone else, and had been looking through starry-eyed goggles.

She smiled sheepishly back at Hermione, and nodded. "Nice one. Hook, line, and sinker, that was."

Luna giggled to her left. "It's so much fun to just hang out again."

Hermione broke into a grin, and then stepped up to the reception counter. The young witch behind the counter looked up expectantly.

"Party of three, appointment is under Hermione Potter."

The young witch's eyebrows fell flat. "Hermione Potter. Right. You're the fourth one this week." She tapped some keys on the computer. "Well, you do have a reserva-" She looked up from the computer screen to see Hermione holding up her House Potter ring. The young witch's eyes went wide and she stumbled over herself trying to apologize. "Mrs. Potter! For real! I'm so sorry, we have people trying to claim they're you or your husband constantly, my apologies! just follow me, and we'll get you situated."

She bustled out from behind the counter and down the hallway to a frosted glass door, which she held open for them.

Ahead and to the right, Mrs. Potter, you'll see a plate above the door that says 'Rainforest Room', that's your first destination. We have you down for a half hour's whirlpool hot tub before your massages. You'll find robes, towels, and modesty suits in the changeroom before you get to the pool."

"Thank you." Hermione smiled at the girl. "You really get people pretending to be me?"

"Yes ma'am, all the time." The attendant had stars in her eyes as Hermione passed her.

"Nobody willing to help, everyone willing to cash in." Gwen muttered as she followed Luna down the hallway to the Rainforest room.

The Rainforest Room was exactly what it advertised. Small palm trees, vines, Passion flowers, orchids, tiger lilies, and baby banana trees filled the space, with beautifully crafted wooden walkways between sections. Signs on some of the trees told what lay down what path. To their left were changing areas and open cubbies as well as lockable ones. Flashes of colour among the already brightly-coloured plants told of toucans and parrots and other rainforest fauna.

Hermione stopped at the door to take it all in.

"Is there a problem, ma'am?" The attendant asked worriedly.

"No! No. Your website said it was a rainforest themed room, but... this is brilliant!" She smiled at the worried witch again.

"Oh good. We do our best, ma'am. If you have any questions or concerns, please don't hesitate, my name is Gloria. Enjoy your stay, Missus Potter."

"Thank you, Gloria. It's Hermione, pleasure to meet you." Gloria grinned hugely as she closed the door to the Rainforest room.

The quickly changed into the provided 'modesty suits', which were in fact nothing more than black bikinis. Gwenog put a brave face on as they walked the cedar path toward the whirlpool, but she didn't even own underthings that small and felt very naked.

Luna seemed disappointed when they arrived at the whirlpool.

"What's the matter?" Hermione asked her.

Luna stuck her bottom lip out. "It said whirlpool. I was expecting a giant swirling vortex of fun."

Hermione and Gwen both laughed, and Hermione hugged her. "Sorry to disappoint. It's more like an underwater massage."

"Oh."

Gwen was first into the pool. She descended the stone stairs into the frothing, churning water with one hand on the stone that made up the back wall of their little grotto. "It's so warm!" She exclaimed, her face stretched by her surprise.

"The whole point is to relax." Hermione instructed. "After this there will be massages and nail and skin treatments, then home for food and showtime."

"Yay!" Luna grinned. She didn't bother with the stairs and just jumped into the middle of the pool. The middle of the pool was deeper than the rest though, so she managed to splash water up her nose. Even so, Luna only grinned and lay back to float in the center of the pool. "Ahhhh." She sighed.

"Now," Hermione grinned as she sat on the stone bench, up to her neck in the warm, turbulent water, "I am dying to hear all about your parties and healing." She said to Gwen.

"Yes!" Luna made her way to sit next to Gwen on the opposite side. "I want to hear all about the first boy you kissed too."

Gwen laughed. "Graham Kingsbury, fourth year in the Three Broomsticks. Massively disappointing."

"Aww. Sorry." Luna frowned. "Neville Longbottom, this year in the Great Hall, just after the battle. Made my nethers tingle something fierce." She grinned at the memory.

"Ha ha! Way to go Luna!" Hermione giggled. "You do look really good together."

Luna smiled back at her, but it wasn't Luna's usual smile. There was something overshadowing it.

"Yeah, good job!" Gwen agreed. "How is he? I mean, is he a keeper? The ones I've kissed that made me tingle were all coreless bludgers in the end. I'd love to find one I could respect that made me tingle."

"That's one of the things I want to talk about, but first I want to hear Hermione's first kiss." Luna waggled her eyebrows at her.

Hermione's grin fell. "I was... I was really stupid, if I'm honest. Very first kiss ever was Harry, on the train back to school third year. It should have been the only one, but I was young and dumb. It was nice, but he was asleep at the time. I figured it would be the same if he was awake or asleep because he's the same person awake or asleep, right?" She quirked one corner of her mouth. "It made sense to me at the time. Anyway, after that was Viktor Krum at the Yule Ball fourth year, then Ronald Weasley in the Chamber of Secrets during the battle. Krum was alright, but it was like kissing a Grindylow that you know is just waiting for you to drop your guard so it can eat you. I couldn't get away from him fast enough. He also kept calling me Hermoninny, and that annoyed me _no end_. Ronald was a spur-of-the-moment thing. We'd just destroyed one of Riddle's... one of Voldemort's artefacts, and there was this huge scary burst of magic as it was destroyed, and I was so happy to be alive just then. Ronald on the other hand started getting grabby and I had to smack him after I'd just kissed him. He started calling me his girlfriend after that and expected me to suddenly turn into Lavender Brown and start following him around and making loveydovey faces and cooking and cleaning up after him. I'm sorry I waited as long as I did to tell him to shove off. Then... Then there was Harry. Awake this time. I could feel him before... When our lips touched, fireworks. In my head and my knickers. The first time his tongue touched mine I swear to Merlin a lightning bolt hit the both of us and I nearly mounted him right there on the hospital bed. So yeah. Might have been Harry and only Harry since third year if I hadn't been so bloody stupid."

"Aww, that's nice though, it worked out in the end, and you're getting married next month!" Luna smiled.

"That's what I'm talking about." Gwen nodded. "That's what I want. I don't think I'm going to find it on the pitch, either. I'm twenty-six, that's a decade on the field. If it was there to be found I think I would have by now."

Hermione reached out to touch Gwen's shoulder in sympathy. "Sorry, but I think you're probably right. I can't see a mind that could keep up with you playing Quidditch for a living - though you're living proof that it does happen. You might be better off looking for an intellect with a nice bum rather than the other way around."

Both Gwen and Luna laughed at that.

"I think you might be right." Gwen grinned. "So, what's up with Neville then?" She turned to Luna.

Luna sighed. "Maybe nothing, maybe everything. We were intimate for about a month, and that was wonderful. It was lovely to see his passion directed at me rather than a greenhouse, and I was quite happy with the sex. It took a few tries to get him over his fear of hurting me, but after that it was brilliant. Too brilliant, almost."

"Too brilliant?" Hermione frowned.

"I didn't want it to end. I knew it would, it had to. I want to go scour the world for rare or even unique animals. That's what my life is going to be. Neville will always be tied to his greenhouses and his plants. He loves that, and I couldn't deny him that. I broke it off with him after the month, and he understood why. I understood why - at least, I thought I did."

"What happened?" Gwen asked.

"At your birthday, when you told us your secret. Neville figured out there was something wrong and instead of jumping to conclusions, he maturely asked for an explanation."

"I remember." Hermione nodded.

"It's just... that maturity, that confidence and poise... that was new. It _hurt_. It physically hurt my chest that I had missed him becoming that. Yes, it was also hotter than fiendfyre, but it felt like I had been kicked when I realized that I had given that up on purpose. Then this morning he just snuck into my thoughts completely out of the blue, while I was getting a massage from _Harry bloody Potter_. I mean, I had a crush on Harry since second year, I should have been thinking about... well, you know. Instead I was wondering if he would teach the foot massage to Neville."

Gwen looked between Hermione and Luna. "You have a crush on her husband? And you're okay with that?"

Hermione smiled. "Luna's my best friend, and she knows both of us. I know nothing would ever happen, neither Harry nor Luna would ever do that to me. Also, pretty much _every_ girl has a crush on my husband. I don't like it, but it's not like I can do anything about it."

"Oh. Yeah, I suppose." Gwen was glad there wasn't any kind of threatening undercurrents between the two. The aura of love and trust between them was so completely alien and so utterly wonderful. In the locker rooms it was more like a shark tank - the words might be the same, but most of the girls went out of their ways to poach each other's boyfriends. If any of them ever caught a whiff of Lord Harry Potter-Black... the frenzy would know no bounds.

"Luna..." Hermione placed her hand between her own breasts, "Does it feel like a glowy ball of excitement and anxiety and hope and fear and a ton of different things right here?"

"Yes!" Luna's eyebrows jumped.

"Do you keep expecting to see his face? Like he's going to just show up while you're showering or off in the field, or just at the strangest times?"

"Yes! It makes no sense! What is it?"

Hermione sighed, and could tell from the look in Gwen's eyes she had the same sympathy. "You're in love with Neville. You'll need to talk to each other and see what you can work out, because those feelings don't go away. Trust me, I know."

Luna sighed. "Shit. That's what I hoped... and feared... it was."

Gwen put an arm around Luna's shoulders and gave her a squeeze. "I'd give a lot to feel that way. Enjoy it!" She held her fist out in front of her, "Then go subjugate your man. Take him! Own him!" She grinned.

Luna and Hermione giggled.

"Sorry, slipped into Captain Persona there for a second." Gwen apologized.

"Well she's not wrong." Luna beamed as she hugged Gwen back. "Do you think I should grind him into the bed before or after we talk things over?"

"Well, if you do it after, it might be a happy taste of things to come. On the other hand if you do it before, he might be a little more... open to suggestion." Gwen winked at her.

Luna laughed. "Hermione?"

Hermione just blushed as she tried not to smile. "Before, during, after... bed, table, floor... you know."

Luna and Gwen both burst into gales of laughter.

Gwen wiped her eyes when the guffaws had dwindled into chuckles. "You lucky witch! You're both lucky!"

"I suppose we are." Luna smiled happily.

Gwen wiped tears from the corners of her eyes before her gaze settled on Hermione. "I'm sorry, I can't hold it in anymore. Why, if you don't mind me asking, are you getting married next month when you're already married? I mean, you're wearing the Potter House ring, and you couldn't do that if you weren't married. I suppose your last name would have already been changed at the Ministry as well or nobody would recognize you as Mrs. Potter. Potter-Black, rather." Gwen asked.

Hermione smiled. "That's going to be the first thing I show you during showtime. I had a chat with Manager Gutspike the other day and he was kind enough to copy his memory of our magical wedding. I thought it would be better to see both of us rather than just Harry or me."

"Aww, you didn't have to go to all that trouble!" Luna pouted at Hermione, "But I'm glad you did!" She grinned. "Yeee! I can't wait!"

"That's what Showtime is? You're going to share memories?" Gwenog's jaw dropped of its own accord.

"Potter House has a lovely old Pensieve built into a stone table. Luna asked to see our magical wedding, so that's how today started."

"Brilliant. I can't wait to see this. I heard that Dumbledore had Pensieve when I was at school, but I've never seen one before."

"Me either." Luna said.

"Well... are you feeling warm and relaxed? We could move on to the next treatment if you want." Hermione suggested.

"Yes!" Luna jumped up and made her way to the stairs out of the pool.

"As for the why... for my parents, mostly. Harry and I married magically without them. That's fine for the magical world, but my parents are both non-magical, so the ceremony will be to include them in our lives. Also so there's nowhere Harry can get away from me. He's mine in every world." She smiled fiercely as she followed Luna and Gwen out of the pool.

Gwen chuckled. "I was about to say that's really sweet of you about your parents, but that smile - that smile right there. That makes me feel sorry for anyone with designs on him."

Hermione quirked one corner of her mouth again. "Sadly, that's a lot of people you're feeling sorry for then. But really... you should. I'll protect him and us with everything I have."

The look she saw in Hermione's eyes made Gwen's guts go cold and her knees weak. She had no doubts whatsoever as to the outcome of that protection. This was the woman who had killed Death Eaters by the handful and faced down a Dark Lord. She shivered, then put an arm around Hermione's shoulders.

"I'll clean up the leftovers, if there are any. I know I'm late to the party, but my wand is yours if you want it."

Hermione stopped and stared at Gwen, wondering if she was aware she'd just offered what could be construed as an oath of fealty. "I appreciate that. I would love to have more friends." She smiled and gave the witch a squeeze.

Gwen squeezed her back and smiled. She couldn't help it. After so long being The Captain, after learning to guard everything she said and did all the time because the rest of the girls would seize on it as teasing bait or worse... The simple, honest trust Hermione and Luna displayed was just too overwhelming. Too enticing. Too bloody wonderful. It felt so good to just be Gwen again. It felt doubly good to be accepted by witches she could respect.

Gloria was standing in the hall waiting for them when Luna opened the door.

"Oh, hello again." Luna smiled at her.

Gloria waited until Gwen and Hermione were within earshot. "Hello again," Gloria smiled, "If you'll follow me, I'll lead you to your masseuses, we have you booked in the Cloud Room."

"That sounds lovely." Luna said dreamily.

"It is one of our most popular rooms," Gloria turned and walked backward to smile and explain, "Do you have a preference for aerial vista?"

"Pardon?" Hermione frowned.

"Here we are." Gloria opened a thick wooden door and led them into a completely white room. Even the twin massage benches in the center of the room were completely white. Gloria took out her wand and tapped a panel on the wall by the door. "Aerial Montana." She said, and clouds appeared at knee level. After a moment there was a break in the clouds and the entire floor of the room was replaced by an aerial view of grey mountains and green grassland.

"Oh." Hermione said. "Oh that's just lovely."

"So did you have a preference for aerial vista?" Gloria repeated with an understanding smile.

Luna turned to look at Hermione, but Hermione shook her head. "I had a lovely massage this morning, thanks to Harry. This is all you and Gwen. You know I can't lie on my stomach due to my... stomach issues. Not for a while, anyway."

Gwen's smile fell. "You didn't say anything. Are you alright?"

"Perfectly fine." Hermione replied with a smile, "Already taken care of by multiple healers and concerned parents. I just can't lie on my stomach for a while."

"Oh." Gwen still frowned, but let it go. She was concerned, but didn't think Hermione counted her enough of a friend yet to listen. Besides, she was Hermione Potter. She _knew_ what she was doing. "Sorry then. I guess we'll have to come back when you can."

Hermione grinned at that. "That is a definite yes. Now go on, hop up and enjoy it. You've got -" She turned to Gloria, "What's next, body scrubs?"

Gloria nodded. "Yes ma'am, with scents that can be chosen at the time."

Hermione smiled at Gloria again. "Definitely coming back again later." She turned back to Luna and Gwen, who had disrobed and lain on the massage tables and were draped by soft white towels over their behinds. "Nails and faces are last, I'll join again for those."

"Aren't you going to be bored just waiting?" Gwen asked.

Hermione smiled at her. "I brought my laptop. I have some calculations I want to go over and some simulations to run."

Gwen chuckled. "I should've guessed."

Hermione just smiled at her and pulled a comfortable-looking divan from her bag the size of a teabag, then enlarged it in the corner of the room.

Gwen and Luna received muscle-melting massages, and every soft moan or groan from either one of them caused Hermione's mouth to twitch into a smile despite her concentration.

Two different witches entered the room when the massages were done, and waved a number of samples under Gwen and Luna's faces. Luna chose honeysuckle and vanilla, and Gwen chose lilac and coconut. Each of their chosen scents was combined with a mound of rough salt, which was then expertly ground into their skins as gently as possible, with special care given to rough spots such as their heels and elbows.

When that was all finished and the two bodyscrub witches had left the room again, Gwen and Luna both lay there a long moment.

"I can't even describe it." Luna said finally. "It's like I want to go to sleep but I have way too much energy. And I don't want to waste smelling this good."

"I haven't felt this feminine in a long time. Maybe ever. I can't remember." Gwen agreed.

"Ready for the face and nails then?" Hermione asked as she closed her laptop.

"Ready for a hot date." Gwen sighed as she forced herself off the massage table.

Hermione shrunk the divan and stowed it and her laptop back in her bag while Gwen and Luna got dressed, and Gloria showed up again as they were about to leave the room to look for her.

"Everything satisfactory, Missus Potter-Black?" Gloria asked hopefully.

"Everything is lovely so far, thank you. Nails and face next?"

"Yes ma'am, if you'll follow me, I'll take you to one of our application rooms. We have a large Application room for ladies just stopping by to have their nails done, or nails plus face, that's our most popular treatment, but we also have several private Application rooms for private parties such as yours. Feel free in the future to request one when you book your appointments."

"Oh, that's nice. Thank you for that. We will definitely be returning." Hermione smiled.

"In that case, please see me at the front desk before you leave, we can also set a passphrase for you to ensure that in the future we know it's really you."

"Oh, well done. That should help whoever is booking."

"We aim to please, ma'am." Gloria smiled and opened another door after leading them through several corridors. This room had three dentists' chairs in it - Hermione recognized them immediately - and soothing forest sounds playing over unseen speakers. "Please have a seat, your specialists will be with you in a moment." Gloria bowed and shut the door behind her.

"So?" Hermione asked as she took a seat, "Worth coming back do you think?"

"Yeah..." Luna said, "But not without friends. Having both of you here really makes it a good day."

Gwen smiled, touched by Luna's honesty. "Agreed. I could see popping in for face and nails and popping out again if you have somewhere important to be, but it's the company that makes the experience."

"Yes, exactly." Luna nodded solemnly.

"Good, that's one more thing off the list." Hermione smiled.

Three more witches entered the room then, carrying trays of bottles, vials, and pastes.

"Good morning ladies." Said the last to enter, as she closed the door behind her. "I'm Natalie, this is Amanda, and this is Kim. Is this your first time with us?"

All three seated witches nodded.

"Excellent!" Natalie smiled. "Before we get started, there are a few options you get to choose from. First, your nails. Our nail options include making them grow very quickly, making them grow very slowly, making them extra pliable so they won't break, but they will bend quite easily and won't be as useful, or making them extra strong so they won't bend but will break if you try to lift an erumpent with them. Those are just the potion options, of course. We can also make them look any way you like, though the Statute of Secrecy does forbid moving pictures."

"We'll be back next month, so I'd like the slow growth extra-strong, please." Hermione said with a smile. "Umm... and not too sharp please? I'd like to keep my husband's skin where it is for now."

Natalie, Amanda and Kim all laughed. "A cute one, is he?" Amanda asked with a wink.

Hermione grinned back. "I could show you, but then I'd have to Obliviate you."

For some reason, that made them laugh harder.

"Alright, slow growth extra strong for you, you ladies?" Natalie asked Gwen and Luna.

'Slow growth extra strong sounds great to me." Gwen smiled.

"I'd like no growth and extra strong please. They're just right for field work just now." Luna said.

"Excellent, now for the facial options. We have three, first is a mild exfoliant and revitaliser, that's the most popular. It leaves your skin feeling fresh and looking healthier. Next, there's the Smoothener potion treatment, it cleans out your pores and shrinks them slightly while clearing away any rough patches, but it will change your appearance some. Since it is in effect repairing the skin on your face, it will make you look a little younger. Third and last option is our most popular with the older ladies, it's a heavy duty version of the Smoothener, called Rewind, and it will actually take ten years off your face. The exfoliant and revitaliser is non-magical, so it will only last until your skin recovers, usually a few days to a week. Both the potion options last for roughly a month."

"Uhm... I'd like the Smoothener please." Gwen said in a small voice. Her cheeks pinked as well.

"I'll go for the exfoliant and revitaliser this time." Hermione said.

"Same for me please." Luna added.

Natalie rubbed her palms together and grinned. "You ladies just relax into your chairs and leave the rest to us. Once we've treated your nails and have your facials under way, we'll show you some samples and ask what you'd like your nails to look like, but that's the final step and takes no time at all. Think about it, talk about it, but above all, relax!"

None of the three witches felt particularly talkative, despite the good-natured efforts of Natalie, Amanda, and Kim - except where the colour of their nails was concerned. Luna decided she wanted a different colour for all ten of her nails, with a different coloured flower on each. She smiled brightly to herself when she saw the finished product. Gwen decided on dark forest green for hers, with a tiny gold eagle claw on each. Hermione went with plain scarlet on her hands, but on her toes she asked for the same scarlet, with a gold letter on each toe that spelled Gryffindor - but the O was actually a tiny gold snitch. She thought Harry might get a kick out of it.

When they were all finished, Hermione, Luna, and especially Gwen stared in wonder at the change to Gwen's face. Not her features - those were the same, but her skin was no longer a different colour on her cheekbones, and the tired, leathery texture brought on by a decade of windburn had completely vanished. She looked like she was fresh off of the Hogwarts Express. Gwen looked in the mirror with shock and disbelief. The change had happened so slowly, over ten years, that she had completely forgotten what she had looked like when she still lived with her parents. She ran her fingers over the smooth, taut, light-caramel skin of her cheeks, as though to make sure her reflection was really her own face.

"That... I don't believe it!" She goggled.

Kim smiled at Gwen's reaction. "Your facial skin has a load of damage on the high points. Do you play quidditch a lot?"

"Uhmmyeah." Gwen answered, only half-attentive.

"That explains it, it looked like wind damage. You can reverse that damage with regular application of the exfoliant and revitaliser treatments, but that will take time - a few months, probably, but you shouldn't bother starting that until you're no longer taking the damage. Otherwise you just won't make any repairs."

"I could look like this all the time?!"

"Well... yeah," Kim smiled, "It's your face. You just need to look after it."

"Thank you." Gwen said softly, still captivated by the change.

"Anytime." Kim finished replacing all her equipment on her tray and got up to join Natalie and Amanda on their way out.

"You look great!" Luna smiled at Gwen, "Not that you didn't before, but we could all be yearmates now."

Gwen jumped out of her chair and pulled Hermione out of hers, into a fierce hug. "Thank you. This was such a brilliant idea! I had no clue..."

Luna grinned and joined the hug. "This isn't even the fun part yet! I can't wait for showtime!"

"Come on then, the sooner we get back the sooner we can start." Hermione grinned.

Gloria was waiting for them in the hall. "Everything was satisfactory I hope?" She asked as they exited their Application room.

"Brilliant!" Gwen gushed. "I can scarcely believe it!"

Hermione smiled and nodded to Gloria. "More than."

Gloria seemed to suddenly relax. "Oh good! I'm so glad you enjoyed yourselves. If you'll follow me, I'll take you back to the entrance, unless there's something else you'd like to try?"

"We need to get back, actually." Luna said with an anticipatory grin.

"Right this way." Gloria smiled and led them to the front counter. She turned to Hermione after she'd ducked behind the front counter. "Have you thought of a passphrase you'd like to use?" She asked.

"Yes." Hermione answered. "Amare Patronum."

"Can you spell that?"

Hermione spelled it for her, and Gloria noted it down in her file on the computer.

"There, now whenever anyone tries to impersonate you they'll be asked for your passphrase."

"You should also note that I will never pay with anything other than my House Ring, so anyone paying any other way is not me."

"Thank you, good to know as well." Gloria typed that bit of information into the computer.

"I'd also like to book the same time for November seventh, if I may."

Gloria nodded, and booked their next appointment. "How many?"

"At least three. Probably more, as I'm reasonably certain my mum would enjoy it as well."

"Excellent, you're all booked." Gloria pulled a sheet of parchment from the printer and set it on the counter in front of Hermione, who bit her lip and deliberately looked away, eyes closed, as she touched the face of her House Ring to the bottom of the parchment. Gloria filed the parchment once the Potter-Black seal sprang into existence and the computer registered the invoice paid.

"Wonderful," She stood and bowed again to the three witches. "It was an honor and a delight to have you, please do not hesitate to visit for any and all needs we may meet."

"Thanks, it was nice to meet you Gloria. We'll see you on the seventh, if you're working." Hermione smiled at the witch and calmly exited the building, though Luna could tell from the white around her eyes that Hermione was freaked out by the deferential treatment.

"Why'd you close your eyes?" Luna asked as they looked around for a secluded spot to portkey from.

Hermione stopped and sighed. "Harry. Made me promise not to look at the bill. Neither of us are used to having money, let alone wealth. He treats it like it doesn't matter because it doesn't seem real. I do the opposite and worry over every knut because it doesn't seem real. I mean, we've looked at the ledgers, we both know there's a ridiculous amount of money there, but..."

"Why doesn't it seem real?" Gwen asked with a frown.

"Because they didn't earn it themselves." Luna answered for her. "They're just like that, both of them."

Gwen laughed. "Guess how many other witches I've met who would feel the same? I'll give you a hint, you can count that high on no hands."

"That's why you're my best friend, Hermione. You're smart and nice and just lovely through and through, and you give the best love advice and I want you to be my baby's Godmother, when I get around to having one of course." Luna gave her a thrashing great hug in the middle of the populated commercial plaza.

"Aww. I love you too Luna." Hermione smiled and hugged her back.

They found a spot behind one of the restaurants that had their huge garbage bins in a solid brick enclosure, so they portkeyed back to Potter House from there.

They appeared in the garden behind the house, and Cassi appeared a moment later.

"Welcome home, Mistress." She said with a bow and a large grin.

"Thank you Cassi, it's wonderful to be home." Hermione hugged Cassi briefly. "Would you let Harry know we're back and that we'll be going straight to the library please?"

"Of course, Mistress." Cassi bowed and vanished with a soft _pop_.

Gwen marveled at the place as Hermione led them to the library. It was just as fine as the other pureblood mansions she'd seen, but unlike those museum showpieces, it was _warm_ _and inviting_. It was a living space, meant to be lived in. There was no ostentation, no overt display of wealth whatsoever. The wealth was _there_, obviously, but it was utilitarian as well as ornamental. It was a Pensieve in the library instead of gold on the ceilings. It was the beautifully polished solid oak table Hermione put her bag down on, instead of custom-designed furniture no-one wanted to use.

Hermione turned to a blank wooden wall and put her hands on it, then slowly spread her hands apart. The solid wall became several bookshelves, as tall and thick as the rest of them in the library, and continued to part until there was space enough to walk between them. Each bookshelf held not books, but small glass vials filled with a silvery liquid, each labelled with tiny script. The parted bookshelves must have also had or concealed several exquisite extension charms, as there was now a whole other room beyond the shelves of vials. Hermione beckoned to Luna and Gwen as she walked between the shelves into the revealed room. A large stone table, edges covered in subtly colour-shifting runes dominated the space. There were no chairs or seating of any kind.

Hermione went to the only shelf in the room that had any space on it, and fingered through several vials before she selected one and returned to the stone table. She touched her House Ring to the top of the table, and the flat, polished stone table top simply floated into the air. It hung in the air, spinning lazily, about ten feet up. Beneath the stone tabletop was a... liquid of some kind. Its surface moved and refracted like water, but Gwen was positive it wasn't water.

Hermione poured the silvery liquid from the vial into the table, and it spread quickly and became a picture. It looked like an office of some kind, with Hermione and Harry - at least she assumed it was Harry - standing in it.

"The table can project the memory into the air above it if you touch certain runes in the right order, but I find it's a better experience to be inside the memory." Hermione explained, "I haven't seen this one yet, so we'll all be seeing it for the first time. Just stick your finger in the liquid."

All three of them put their fingers in the table at the same time, and each felt the sinking, melting, falling sensation of being pulled into the memory. She and Harry stood on the far side of the desk as Gutspike led them through the ceremony, but Hermione's attention was on the other Goblins in the room. She had missed it the first time, because of course her attention had been elsewhere, but this time she noticed the somewhat bored, annoyed expressions of the other Goblins shatter into disbelief and awe as the shining glow encompassed Harry and her. She made a mental note to find out what that meant later. She would also have to get her parents in there to see it during the reception sometime.

She turned her attention back to Harry's face as the memory came to a close, and smiled to herself at the now-familiar expression of love on his face.

They appeared back in the library then, Hermione had a warm, hungry feeling in her chest and a smile to match. Luna quietly shed tears while smiling at her, and engulfed her in a hug almost immediately.

"That was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." She sobbed.

Gwen's expression closely resembled that of the Goblins - if a whole lot easier to read. She looked stunned.

"Thanks Luna." Hermione said quietly into Luna's hair.

"Ahem." Gwen cleared her throat, "I have a memory you should see. It isn't nice, but you should see it. I also have some of your mum Luna, if you want to see them."

"Yes!" Luna let go of Hermione and attached herself to Gwen. "Thank you!"

"The thing is..." Gwen continued, "I've never even seen one of these before, so I have no idea how to get the memory from my head to the table."

"Well first you take off your Luna jacket..." Hermione smiled. Luna grinned at her and let go of Gwen to wipe tears from the corners of her eyes.

"You'll need your wand, of course." Hermione explained, "Get the memory firmly in your mind, see and hear every detail. Put your wand to your temple, and concentrate on copying that memory to your wand, then slowly pull your wand away from your head." She pulled a rack of empty vials from the shelf an picked one up. "I'll do one so you can see."

Gwen nodded, thanks evident on her face.

Hermione closed her eyes and concentrated, then pulled wispy silver strands from her temple that coagulated on the tip of her wand. She scraped the silver droplet into the empty vial, then put her wand down and quickly labelled the vial 'Meeting Gwen'. Then she handed Gwen an empty vial.

"Thanks." Gwen pulled her wand out and touched the tip of it to her temple as she concentrated, then pulled silver wisps out that stuck themselves to the tip of her wand in a silver droplet. She opened her eyes and broke into a huge grin. "I did it!"

Hermione and Luna both grinned. She put the memory into the empty vial and labelled it "Ginny Crash Pad' Hermione dipped the tip of her wand into the liquid of the table, and the memory of her wedding quickly collected on it. She pulled it out of the table and replaced it into its vial, then filed it away again.

Gwen tipped her memory into the table, set her wand and the empty vial down, then joined the other two inside the memory.

It wasn't a long memory, only a couple of minutes, but when it ended and they found themselves in the library again, both Hermione and Luna looked ready to spit fire.

"I can't believe what's she's become. She used to be so nice." Luna ground her teeth.

"BookyBeaverBoringBushyBitch!" Hermione's jaw worked, and her fists clenched and unclenched. "Cassi!"

Cassi appeared instantly.

"Would you please ask Harry to come join us, he needs to see this memory."

"Right away, Mistress." Cassi popped away.

"When was this, Gwen?"

"Two nights ago, after Wednesday practice."

Hermione's glower darkened even further. "Leave _me_ at the altar... little..."

Cassi and Harry appeared in the room then, and Harry went immediately to Hermione.

"What is it? What's wrong?" He asked.

"Watch that memory. You'll see." Hermione fumed. Harry kissed her forehead and stuck his finger in the Pensieve.

"Thought it might upset. Sorry." Gwen apologized.

"No, don't be. You had nothing to do with it, of course. Thank you for showing this." Hermione gave a sad, half-angry smile to let Gwen know she bore no blame.

Harry came out of the memory then, drew a deep breath, and sighed. "Can't say I'm surprised, honestly. Disppointed, but not surprised. When was this?"

"Two days ago." Hermione growled.

Harry sighed again. "Look on the bright side, love." He smiled at Hermione. "Maybe she'll show up with Ron and I can punch them both into orbit."

Gwen's jaw dropped. "You can _do_ that?!" It was out before she could stop it. Her brain caught up to her and told her 'He killed Voldemort, dummy! _Of course_ he can do that.'

Harry chuckled and held his hand out for her to shake, so she did. "Nice to meet you, Miss Jones. No, of course I can't do that, but I'd dearly love to try."

"Oh." She said in a small voice while feeling dumb, "Right."

"I can't believe she actually thinks... No, of course I can, she's just like Ron, she _doesn't_ think, just runs her stupid mouth. I'm sorry, love." He wrapped Hermione in a tender hug and held her head to his chest.

"You know she's going to try something at our wedding, don't you." She told him.

"Of course. Thanks to Miss Jones though, we know it's coming. I'd guess probably something potion-related."

"Um, it's Gwen. Please." Gwen smiled.

"Harry." He smiled back. He let Hermione go and put his hands on her shoulders, and looked into her eyes. "I was in the middle of making some food for you, I'll go finish and bring it up. We can talk about wedding security later when you're finished with showtime?"

Hermione took a deep breath and let it out, then kissed him. "You're wonderful and I don't deserve you."

Harry laughed and kissed her again quickly. "Right back at you, beautiful. You're mine and I'm yours." He smiled and strode away toward the library exit. "Back in a few minutes."

Hermione took another deep breath and let it out, and Gwen could fairly see her recover her equilibrium. How on Merlin's magical earth were they so _normal_? They were drippingly sweet newlyweds, same as any other, except for the small fact they'd _killed an Immortal Dark Lord_.

Luna rubbed Hermione's back and still looked angry.

"Thank you for that, Gwen. Really. We'll revise our plan for the wedding and tighten security some. I might even just add Wards that stop Ginny specifically from getting anywhere near the place. I'm sure her mum would help."

"Anything I can do, just ask." Gwen offered.

Hermione smiled at that. "I will, thanks. Let's lighten the mood some before we get to memories of Luna's mum..." Hermione breathed heavily for a moment, and forced Ginny out of her mind as she fingered through the vials again and selected a new one. "This one is when mum and I went to the hairdressers in Toowoomba and she embarrassed the magic out of me..."


	7. Chapter 7

  
Ron kicked the end of his bed. 

  
"It's not fair!" He shouted. "It's the Golden Trio, not the Golden Couple." He flopped into his chair and crossed his arms with a huff.  
"And fucking Bill! You're lucky I don't have a wand, you bloody wanker!" His hand itched to feel his wand in it again, and he went through the series of jinxes and hexes he would lay on his oldest brother if he could. The picture of Bill as he wailed apologies while he belched slugs on his knees made Ron feel better and gradually calmed him down.

  
"Fine." He declared to Babbity. "They want to cut me out of The Golden Trio, that's fine. Far as anyone knows I'm the only one left anyway. I'll show them. I'll show them they should have stayed friends with me. I'll show them they don't want to cross Ronald Bilius Weasley."

  
Ronald Bilius Weasley smiled then, a large beatific smile. He remembered there was a white card downstairs on the mantel. The white card wasn't just an invitation to Harry and Hermione's wedding, it was a Portkey to wherever the wedding was. That meant all he had to do was touch the thing and he would be taken along with it.

  
"You reckon you can just ditch me, you've got another thing coming." He told the stuffed rabbit. He got up and paced the length of his room while he thought about how he could get hold of the invitation while his parents activated it. Just asking was out, they were already bent out of shape over the fact that he had better things to do than sit next to an unmoving body. If it had been a female body he'd have been more inclined of course, but it was Harry. Ew.   
"Man, if only I had that cloak." He said, "I could just pinch a corner and they'd be none the wiser." Babbity didn't reply. Ron paced up and down again as he imagined how easy it would be to just throw the cloak over himself and go invisible. It was no use though, Harry had the cloak and Ron didn't think the new greedy, possessive Harry would loan it out. 

  
"If only I could just use a charm to go invisible like those greasy Death Eater squits at the Department of Mysteries..." He mused.   
Babbity just stared at him.

  
'Hang on, there's a charm you can use to go invisible!" He declared. "I'll just do that! Wait, no, still can't, Dad's got my wand locked up." He frowned and growled his annoyance.   
Babbity stared at him some more.

  
"Yeah Babs, but I can't just go bust the lock and take it, Mum and Dad are pissed at me already... But I can go buy a new wand! You're a bloody genius, mate. It's only seven galleons!" He still had the 'rainy day' fund his mum made him keep. He couldn't use that for food or alcohol or things for girls, she'd made him promise that with a magic oath, but this wasn't any of those things. He could just go get a new wand and then head to the library to learn the...

  
His smile fell off and shattered on the floor when he realized he would have to go to the library and actually read how to cast Disillusionment, and then practice.

  
He stared at the floor, and then paced back and forth as he desperately tried to find a way around the necessity, to no avail.

  
"Yeah, you're right." He sighed. "It's for a good cause, and I can use it for all sorts of brilliant things later too. It is worth the effort."

  
He ignored best mate Babbity then, a true genius if ever there was one, and raced downstairs to the floo and Diagon Alley.

* * *

Gwen let her gaze slide over the spines, but none of them had anything to offer. No spark of idea lit her brain, she just read and dismissed each book as she saw it. She couldn't go to Harry to ask advice, as he would likely be the beneficiary of the gift as well, and that left Luna to ask, but Luna was 'in the field' - off no-one knew where, doing whatever it was she did to find new and exciting species of magical creatures. It made Gwen smile to know that Luna had grown into her potential. She'd always thought the girl was incredibly smart, just from the questions that she'd asked as a child, but to see her finished school and out in the world applying her intellect was particularly satisfying.

  
She sighed as she she exhausted the "research" bookshelf, and reluctantly wandered toward the counter. 

  
"What can I help you with, miss?" Mr. Blotts asked her from behind the counter. 

  
She flashed him a smile. It had been a long time since she'd been in a shop where she she wasn't recognized and the staff were wonderful. "I looked at everything you have in the research section, but I couldn't find anything serious."

  
"Serious?" Mr. Blotts raised his eyebrows. "The research section has the most recently published research available, I stock it myself from publisher's catalogues. What are you looking for exactly?"

  
"Ideally I'm looking for something in-depth regarding dimensional torsion along predetermined runic axes, particularly with regard to Brazzleton's spatial corollary... But I'll settle for anything on invalidating Gamp's laws or manipulating magical density."

  
Mr. Blotts paled three shades and looked at her as though she had firecrabs dribbling from her mouth. "What in magic's name could you want such a book for?"

  
It's a wedding gift."

  
If anything, that only made him goggle at her harder. "I'm sorry miss, the book you seek does not exist."

  
She sighed. "Thanks anyway Mister Blotts, I guess I'll have to write it myself. I sort of figured I would, but I thought I'd at least check."

  
Mister Blotts smiled then. "Well, let me know when you do, I'll happily carry it." 

  
She smiled back at him. "Thanks Mister Blotts, I will."

  
She turned to go, and instantly ran over a rail-thin man as he stood next to her. She managed to catch him bodily as he fell backward, and pulled him upright again. "I'm so sorry!" She apologized, "Are you alright?"

  
She looked up into a self-deprecating grin and a pair of steel blue eyes. 

  
"Nothing a few bottles of Skelegrow won't cure." He smiled and held out his hand. "I'm Rynard Powell, it's a pleasure to be demolished by you."

  
She laughed sheepishly, even as she felt heat in her cheeks. "Gwen. Nice to meet you too. Sorry about that."

  
He waved a hand dismissively. "Pay it no mind, I'm just being excessively fragile. I don't mean to pry, but did I just hear you say you're looking for a book on subverting Gamp's laws?"

  
"As a gift, yes. I'm more interested in circumventing Brazzleton's corollary myself."

  
Rynard's eyebrows raised and his smile grew. "You have friends who would enjoy that as a gift as well?"

  
Gwen gave him a quizzical look. 

  
"Too much, right. Sorry. I'm just thrilled to meet someone - anyone - who has a similar interest to mine. I research the laws of magic myself, I happen to be working through Gamp's exceptions right now, so the fact that you and your friends have a similar interest is just brilliant. I've never met anyone else with the interest or the... well." He stopped talking and blushed slightly. "I'm babbling, sorry."

  
She'd never met anyone excited about research before. She had to admit the manic spark in his eye was just adorable. "Do you have time to talk about it?" She asked him.

  
His face lit up. "I would love to!" Then his face fell again. "I'm sort of here with some other people, though." His face assumed a look halfway between resignation and a grimace.

  
"I wouldn't want to take you from anything." She said.

  
He seemed to wrestle with something in his head, then sighed. "My friends brought me out to the Leaky for my birthday." He said with chagrin. "They mean well, but they're all... normal. They got pretty drunk straightaway, so they're probably having a good time, but I read that alcohol destroys mental faculties, and consequently I don't touch the stuff. So... I kind of escaped and came to look for some reading." He finished with a sheepish look.

  
"I read that too!" She said, "I stopped drinking that night. I suspect it only applies to muggles, but without the research to say for sure I'm not taking the chance. We could sit in the Leaky and talk if you like, that way you're not too far from your friends."

  
"I'd like that." He agreed. "What area do you research, if you don't mind me asking?" He grinned at her openly as he held the door for her so they could cross the Alley toward the Leaky Cauldron. 

  
"Right now I'm working on interphased runic vectors, but I'm bogged down in trying to reduce the spatial corollary to zero. The arithmancy is complicated to say the least."

  
"Wow, that's... I don't think I've ever heard of anything that ambitious. That's amazing! My own work is just a closer examination of Gamp's exceptions, so it's not really very experimental." They entered the Leaky and took a a secluded booth along the wall.   
Gwen immediately cast a sound filter to make everything quiet but not silent. If Rynard's friends were here, she didn't want them to think he was ignoring them while they talked, so she just made everything quieter. "Have you discovered anything interesting about them yet? Any loopholes or workarounds?"

  
Rynard's eyes lit up and his grin practically shone as he just smiled at her for a moment.

  
"Sorry, I'm sorry." He apologized. "It's just such a thrill to have anyone interested. Nobody has ever asked me about my work before." He cleared his throat. "As a matter of fact I have discovered why food is an exception but water is not."

  
"Really?!" She leaned forward, elbows on the table between them. "Why is that? I've always wondered. It made no sense to me that we can conjure water, which is the thing we need most to survive, but we can't conjure food, which we need far less."

  
"You're on the right track. I had much the same thought myself when I began to look into it. Have you ever wondered why you can transfigure non-living stone into a living, breathing, moving monkey, but you can't make yourself non-living, immobile lunch?"

  
"Yes! It doesn't make any sense!"

  
"My research shows that you haven't actually transfigured the stone into a monkey. It isn't alive, it only has the semblance of life. When the spell wears off, it goes back to being a stone. Magic can't create actual life. Even when you Draconofors something and then make it permanent you aren't creating actual life. You couldn't then cut the tail off that dragon and eat it - well, you could, but you would be eating whatever the material you started with was. Magic can't create life - and that's got nothing to do with souls at all, I'm talking just about the physical property of being alive."

  
"Okay, but a sandwich isn't alive." She pointed out.

  
"No, that's true - but it once was. Every single part of that sandwich was at one time alive. The wheat that made the bread grew living from the soil. The meat in the middle was alive. The lettuce, the mustard, the cheese, all of it. Even in the case of peanut butter and jam, the peanuts were once alive, as was the fruit used to make the jam. Magic cannot even make anything that was once alive."

  
"Huh." She grunted as she saw the logic of it. "Water was never alive, so it isn't an exception."

  
"Precisely!" He exclaimed gleefully. "I actually succeeded in conjuring a sandwich, but it contained no flavor, no nutrition at all. It was essentially transfigured water. What I'm working on now is the combination of conjuration with healing spells - specifically those intended to grow muscle - to try to circumvent the limitation. No success yet, I'm afraid."

"Think of the implications if you do succeed though! No-one would go hungry at all. You would free the entire populace from having to work to get money to buy food with. Witches and Wizards could become entirely self-sufficient."

  
He quirked one corner of his mouth and shook his head sadly. "I don't think it would have much impact on society as a whole, truthfully. There would still need to be a Ministry and everyone would still want remuneration for their work, there would still need to be a system in place for purchasing things that are too difficult to obtain or beyond a witch or wizard's capacity to create - but you're not wrong, I think it would certainly help."

  
He'd even thought through what might happen if he succeeded. Gwen had to admit to herself the conversation had ignited an excitement in her that she hadn't felt in a long time. Well, a long time before she met Hermione, anyway.

  
"Have you thought of an application for your own research?" He asked. 

  
"I have, actually." She smiled back at him, "My father doesn't get around as well as he used to, and I live on the west coast - though that will likely change soon as I'm not required to be out there anymore. I started my project as a way to make it easier to see my father by co-locating two disparate destinations."

  
His eyebrows shot up again. "Actual physical congregation?!" He half-whispered in a tone of awe. "No wonder you're focused on the spatial complex. The Wilkes arrays alone for something of that magnitude would take months, if not years!"

  
"Took me eighteen months." She smiled proudly. "I recently made some new friends who offered to help, though they are currently quite busy. We're going to start again and run through what I have to see if I haven't missed any-"

  
They were interrupted by a shout from nearby. "Rynnie! Pull yer finger out, man! Yer missin' a great party!" 

  
They turned to look at the source of the shout - a thickset young wizard with rounded shoulders who had seen little if any exercise. He approached them unsteadily between the tables, leaned on two other patrons in order to get to them, and sloshed a quarter pint of whatever was in his tankard on the floor. When he finally reached their table, the inebriated man leaned heavily on 'Rynnie''s shoulder and turned to Gwen.

  
"Whoa Rynnie! Good goin', mate! Hey there sweets, I'm Roger." He gave her a wide, cheesily salacious grin. 

  
Gwen groaned internally. Berks like him were why she'd stopped going to parties in the first place. Rynard, bless him, had such an apologetic look on his face that she had to chuckle. "Good afternoon, Roger. Are you a friend of Rynard's? You must be thrilled to know such a brilliant mind." She smiled patiently at him. 

  
"Yeah, Rynnie's a barrell of laughs." He clapped Rynard on the back twice and never noticed Rynard's wince. "You look a bit like Gwenog Jones, you related?" Roger squinted at her.

  
"No, I can honestly say I am not related to Gwenog Jones." She said.

  
"Who is Gwenog Jones?" Rynard asked.

  
Roger stopped and looked down at him. "Who is - ?" He turned back to Gwen. "Forgive my mate here, he's bloody hopeless. Who is Gwenog Jones? Lives in a cave, he does."

  
"She's just a quidditch player." Gwen answered him, "Nobody important."

  
"Nobody important?!" Roger repeated, then turned to shout at a table across the room. "Oi! Rynnie thinks Gwenog Jones is NOBODY IMPORTANT!"

  
Rynard looked down at the table and sighed, then leaned forward to whisper to her. "I really enjoyed talking to you, and I'd love to continue our conversation, but I know from experience Roger and the rest aren't going to leave us alone. Would you mind if I floo'd you so we can continue this later?"

  
She raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you asking me on a date?"

  
Rynard's ears went pink and his eyebrows raised as his head shrank into his shoulders. "Yes?"

  
Gwen smiled at him. "In that case I'd love to. My address is The Harpy's Nest."

  
"The Harpy's Nest? Who named it that? You're absolutely lovely, nothing at all like a Harpy! Thank you for adding some brilliance to today, I'll call as soon as I can. Sorry about him, I'll go handle it. It was positively fantastic to meet you." He grinned at her and stood up to balance Roger, with one arm draped over his shoulders. He led Roger back toward the table he'd come from, and Gwen couldn't help but notice as she rose to leave that she quite liked the look of 'Rynnie''s hindquarters.

She found to her surprise that she looked forward to his call, and grinned the rest of the afternoon while she searched for a wedding gift.

* * *

Ginny started with low power first. She'd never actually used the thing before, so she didn't know how much it could handle. Only Ron would buy something and just assumed it worked how he wanted it to. She took careful aim at the large green striped fruit, and whispered "Subpono."

  
The surge of magic flowed down her wand and through the siphon, and... nothing happened. The vial of water stayed full of water, the empty vial stayed empty.  
"Okay, let's try a bit more power then." Ginny took a few deep breaths and focused again on the large fruit. "Subpono." She let a little more magic flow from her wand this time, and was rewarded with an empty water vial, and pink liquid in the empty one. She took the time to smile to herself and feel the thrill of her success. She imagined the runny fruit juice was Harry's blood, thick and red and beautiful. Once he belonged to her, she'd have years to find a way to use his blood to make him belong to her permanently. She knew she could do it though, she was Ginevra Molly Weasley. At seventeen she was poised to become the star Chaser for the Harpies, she'd aced eight O.W.L.s, she could Apparate, Disillusion, and had invented a way to copy a Portkey destination from one Portkey to another. She was a beautiful athletic genius, and nothing would be denied her. Not fame, not fortune, and especially not the Ultimate Prize - Harry Potter.

  
Ginny replaced the vials in the siphon, backed up several paces and tried again at the same power level. Nothing happened. 

  
"Hm. Not a very good range. I guess I'll have to sneak in closer than I thought." She muttered.  
She tried scores of times, and slowly worked out the range of her siphon. She repeated the experiment every day for weeks, until she understood instinctively how much power she needed to use at various ranges in order to have the tool work properly.  
Hallowe'en afternoon, her potions completed their brew time and they looked - and smelled - even more potent than she'd intended. With an ecstatic grin, she removed them from the heat and placed stasis lids on them, so they were fresh and ready to be used in eight days. 

  
She made sure everything was well hidden under Disillusionment, and left the roof of the dorm to rejoin her new teammates as they readied for their induction.

  
She opened her locker and pulled her gear out and began to undress when Bethany opened her loud mouth. 

  
"Oi! Where you been, Weasley? Check out the grin on red, ladies! That's a 'got some' grin if I've ever seen one."

  
"Hope it was worth almost missing your induction." Tiffany added with a scathing look.

  
"It might have been if it was your boyfriend, Tiff. I'd wear him like panties." Morgan grinned viciously.

  
"I would say that's a possibility Mo, but he's not into bovines." Tiffany shot back. 

  
Bethany laughed at Morgan as she assumed a deep shade of pink and glared at Tiffany.

  
Ginny ignored them as she changed and headed out to the pitch where a stage had been erected. The bright lights shone down on everything and bathed it in white light that was just shy of harsh. One section of the bleachers was almost full of people. She saw her mother and father there, with Bill, Charlie, George and Ron beside them. Ron looked upset about something, but Bill and Charlie waved with huge grins when they saw her. She waved back, and assumed her seat on the right half of the stage.   
The other two inductees showed up and assumed their seats next to her. Ginny wasn't wild about putting up with the bickering between them for the next decade or so, but with any luck they'd simmer down when they got used to each other. She had to admit Tiffany's boyfriend was very pretty, but he was nothing compared to her Harry.

  
The current team flew out of the chute, the signal that the ceremony had begun, while fanfare blared and fireworks exploded in the night sky. The team, led by their Captain Gwenog, executed one lap of the pitch in a tight V formation and then landed perfectly on the left side of the stage. 

  
Gwenog looked fantastic. Ginny had always admired her grizzled veteran look, but her face looked somehow younger, brighter. Her every piece of gear shone, from her immaculately polished leg guards to her dazzling gold harpy claw Captain insignia. Even her armored cap glittered in the light as she stepped to the podium front and center of the stage. 

"Thank you all for coming," She said, her voice magically loud, "Thank you all for being with us on this momentous occasion. Today we celebrate the conclusion of the trial of three young women! Today we laud them for their hard work, their skill and their learning. Today they have earned the right to call themselves Harpies!"

  
The crowd roared and applause thundered across the pitch.

  
She waited for the noise to quiet, and when it did, Gwenog turned to look at Ginny, Morgan, and Tiffany. "Revel in your success today, ladies. Tomorrow the real work begins. Tomorrow you feel the pressure of your teammates' expectations. Tomorrow you run endless plays in the hopes they become reflex. Tomorrow begins the sweat and the pain and the grind. That's what it is to be a Harpy!"

  
Gwenog looked at Tiffany with a piercing stare. "Tiffany Sherrington!" She shouted, and crooked her finger to indicate Tiffany should come forward. Part of the crowd shouted and hooted and applauded. Probably Tiffany's family.  
Tiffany stood and joined Gwenog at the podium. "Do you want to be a Harpy?" Gwenog asked her.

  
Tiffany's face twisted as she fought back tears. "More than anything." She answered.

  
Gwenog nodded then, and flicked her wand upward. From high above, in the darkness above the lights, a green tabard edged in gold with a gold claw emblazoned on the front floated serenely out of the night to settle itself over Tiffany's shoulders.   
"Your new Beater!" Gwenog shouted.

  
The crowd roared again, and thunderous applause washed over them as Tiffany lost her battle against tears. 

  
Gwenog reached out to enfold Tiffany in a hug. "Welcome to the team." She smiled at Tiffany warmly.

  
"Thank you!" Tiffany grinned, "Thank you, Captain! Thank you so much!" She wiped her cheeks and eyes with the back of her hand just before the rest of the team also embraced her. Tiffany wiped her eyes again as she sat back down, the smile etched on her face seemed permanent.

  
Gwenog once again waited for quiet before she shouted the next name. "Merriweather Morgan!"

  
Ginny winced. No wonder she insisted everyone just call her Morgan. Poor girl. Shouts and applause came from the bleachers, regardless. At least her family was behind her. Morgan stood and crossed the distance to the Captain with stars in her eyes.

  
"Do you want to be a Harpy?" Gwenog asked again.

  
"YES, CAPTAIN!" Morgan shouted. Morgan's family shouted and applauded again from the stands. Gwenog smiled at her as she flicked her wand skyward and Morgan's tabard floated down to settle over her.

  
"Your new Keeper!" Gwenog shouted, again to thunderous applause. "Welcome to the team." She added as she embraced Morgan.

  
"Thank you so much, Captain. I'll do my best to make you proud." Morgan smiled. She hugged the rest of the team before she sat back down and beamed the same smile as Tiffany for a moment before she reached out and hugged Tiffany as well.  
"Ginevra Weasley!" The sound of her name made her head snap to look at the Captain. The look in Gwenog's eyes gave her gooseflesh in a wave. This was it. The culmination of all her hard work and patience. Only one thing left to do and her life would be on the road to Perfection.

  
Ginny stood and crossed to stand in front of Gwenog.

  
"I owe you a debt of thanks, Ginny. Personally, I mean, for your introduction. Would lifetime tickets for your family cover it do you think?"

  
Lifetime tickets? Ginny boggled. A season ticket for one person was hundreds of galleons. She'd never even heard of lifetime tickets. 

  
She nodded. "More than. That's very generous of you, thank you."

  
Gwenog's face softened then, and Ginny realized she'd been worried. Gwenog Jones - _worried_. "Good, I'm glad. Thank you again." Then she resumed her Captain face, and shouted "Do you want to be a Harpy?"

  
Ginny smiled as those words washed over her. One goal down, one to go. "With all my heart, Captain!" She shouted back. Instantly, she could hear her family screaming their support from the stands. The feeling as her tabard settled on her shoulders was indescribable. Gwenog's shout of "Your new Chaser!" made her shiver and stood her hair on end.

  
"Welcome to the team." Gwenog smiled at her and embraced her, and Ginny caught a faint whiff of lavender and coconut as she did. The rest of the team passed her around like a hug doll, and after she embraced Tiffany and Morgan she resumed her seat. Only then did her family quiet down.

  
Gwenog held both hands up, palms out, while she waited for quiet.

"One last induction before we conclude." She said. Ginny saw the rest of the team look around, confused. There were only three new girls there. Where was the fourth?

  
"Glynnis Griffiths!" Gwenog shouted. Ginny frowned. Glynnis was already on the team, she'd been their Seeker for ages.

  
Glynnis stepped forward and stopped on Gwenog's right. 

  
"This has been a long time coming, Glyn. Congratulations." Gwenog said as she unpinned her golden claw Captain's insignia from her tabard and pinned it to Glynnis's. "Your new Captain!" Gwenog shouted.  
Stunned silence claimed the entire pitch.

  
Gwenog hugged Glynnis, and turned to the team. "Every veteran knows when their time comes," She explained, "This is mine. It has been an honour and a privilege to fly with you, to fight with you, to lose and to win with you. Thank you all for making my time so rich, I'll miss you all." 

  
She hugged Glynnis, then stepped away from the podium and left Glynnis there in front of it. Gwenog hugged each of the team members in turn, then mounted her broom and flew a circuit around the pitch while she smiled and waved at everyone. After a complete circuit, she angled up into the night and out of sight.

  
Ginny looked to Morgan and Tiffany. The loss reflected in their faces mirrored her own, until Tiffany's face turned to horror as she realized she was the one who had to replace Gwenog Jones.

* * *

Luna suppressed a shudder as she walked from the front gates to the Welcome Hall. Less than six months prior she'd been forced to kill three people in a running battle through the halls. The memories of it always surged to the surface when she thought about school, and actually being in the school, to have it literally everywhere she looked... It was the entire reason she'd chosen to not come back to Hogwarts for her final year. Thankfully Harry and Hermione had welcomed her into their study group, and as a result she not only had fun, she felt on top of her N.E.W.T. material.

  
The castle itself showed no hint of the horrors it had endured, the efforts of the students and faculty had wiped away any trace as they'd rebuilt. Luna was both glad and sad that memories were not so easy to fix. That she had been able to talk to Hermione about everything for a few months had helped enormously, almost as much as the glorious month she'd lost herself with Neville. She felt herself smile as she thought of the look on his face when he saw her.   
She didn't bother with the Great Hall or the Gryffindor Common Room, she walked through the school and out to the greenhouses. She waved at Dennis as she passed him, he waved back but didn't smile much. The girl he talked to frowned at her, and Luna hoped they were a good match, since she had obviously already claimed him.

  
Neville was in Greenhouse Number Five, he looked to be in the midst of a transplant, with several Venomous Tentaculae arranged around his workspace. 

  
That made her pout. No way was she going to surprise him when he was doing something dangerous that required concentration.

  
Luckily, he only took fifteen minutes to finish the transplants. She watched as he stripped off the dragonhide apron and gloves and hung them on hooks beside the door, then washed his hands and face and neck before he stepped outside. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he stretched, and as soon as he put his arms down again, she tackled him to the ground.

  
"GYAHaahh!" He exclaimed as she landed on top of him and flipped him over to straddle his waist.

  
"Hi." She said with a grin.

  
"Luna!" He cried, and sat up to wrap his arms around her. She wrapped her arms around his head and pulled him into her breasts as she smiled from her pale hair to her multicoloured toes. She lay her cheek on the top of his head as the hug went on.  
Finally, he relaxed his hold on her and smiled up at her. "I missed you."

  
She smiled and kissed him. "I missed you. I like the beard. We need to talk."

  
To her surprise, he nodded and stood up with her still around his waist. "Yes we do." He let her down and then held her hand as he walked around behind the greenhouse and away from the castle. "I have been thinking about how to say this to you for weeks and weeks, and I'll probably get it wrong anyway, but please just listen before you say anything? I'm afraid if I don't get it all out then I'll mess it up and forget to finish later." She smiled and nodded. He was so adorable. 

  
He stopped and turned to face her when they were a fair distance from the greenhouse. "I have to apologize, Luna. I lied to you and I'm sorry. I said I was okay with us not being a couple anymore and that was a lie, though in my defense I didn't know it was a lie at the time. I only agreed to let you go because I want you to be happy, and I was afraid that I couldn't give you that. After being away from you and then seeing you again at Hermione's birthday party, I was forced to admit that I hate myself for letting you go.  
"Above everything else, I don't want to stand in your way. You're brilliant, and meant for great things. If you started to regret time you spent with me or started to resent me because you felt I held you back, I don't think I could live with that. Even so, when you're not here I started to not be able to stand still. I always felt like something was missing, something important. I couldn't figure out what it was until I saw you at the party, and it was like the rest of the colour came back into the world. I just don't feel right when you're not near.  
"It's true I want to study Herbology as my job, but I realized there's no rule that says I have to stay in one place to do that. I would rather create a portable greenhouse and follow you around the world and find new and exciting plants as well as new and exciting creatures. I just... I don't want to be without you anymore. I'm sorry Luna, but I think I'm in love with you."

  
His face was flushed when he finished, his eyes wet with unshed tears, but he faced her despite the fear of her reply. It was one of the things she loved most about him. She melted a little inside, and filled with a surge of warmth for his brave, honest face.   
"I was in the midlands last week," She said, "Miles from anywhere, just me and my tent and some Bowtruckles. It's completely illogical, but I had this persistent feeling like I would turn around and see you there. Just out of the blue, for no reason. Like I expected you should be there. I had a foot massage from Harry bloody Potter, and you know what went through my mind? It wasn't happiness, it wasn't sex, it wasn't even feeling lucky. No, I thought 'I wonder if he'd teach this to Neville?' So you see, I realized I'm completely dippy over you too. I couldn't go another day without snogging you senseless, so here I am - even though here is one of the last places I want to be. So I'm reasonably certain I'm in love with you as well, Neville Longbottom." 

  
Neville's bottom lip quivered and tears dropped from his cheekbones, but he pulled her to him and kissed her anyway. The beard leant his soft lips a harshness that tickled her down into her panties, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She melted into him as their tongues danced, and before she knew it the snog was not enough. 

  
She broke the kiss and showed him how she felt with her eyes. "Hogsmeade." She breathed heavily. "We need a room." She said as she bit both her lips and felt her cheeks radiate heat.

  
A loud CRACK echoed between the empty greenhouses.

* * *

8th November 1998 7:10am

  
**Good morning!**   
**Your mum and I have debated and discussed (and argued, if I'm honest), and come to the compromise of Darcy James if you're a boy and Meg Eleanor if you're a girl. That leaves Oliver Malcolm for your brother and Ariel Lily for your sister when and if they come along. If they do though, it'll be a few years. I've explained previously how you were intended and wanted, but a victim of circumstance with regard to your timing.**   
**Speaking of which, today is the day! I'm so excited I can hardly write! In just a few short hours I get to look into your mum's beautiful chestnut eyes and marry her again, this time for the non-magical world. **   
**We've talked about it, and we've decided that even though it will be more difficult, we want to straddle the divide between the muggle and magical worlds. It means being very careful what we do where, and always checking to see if anyone is watching, but we both think the benefits outweigh the negatives. **   
**I will talk more about the differences between the two worlds and our plans to live in both in later notes, I have to cut this one short. I want to make sure you and your mum start the day with a healthy breakfast, you're both going to need it. So much to do! So excited!**   
**Love you,**   
**Dad.**

* * *

Hours and hours and hours of mind-numbingly boring effort. He'd drunk pepper-up potions, eaten George's prototype Stimulant Sweets, and in the end he'd resorted to slaps to the face to stay awake and focused. It had worked though. Three weeks it had taken, with a few days off to recover from the effort thrown in, but it had worked. Ron waved his wand over his head and recited the incantation quietly, then wore a grin he couldn't see in the mirror. 

  
Ron decided it was probably a good thing to wait near the stupid Portkey invitation. He watched his Mum and Dad as they rushed around in the pre-dawn morning and tried to get dressed up quietly. They probably thought he was still asleep in his room - and he would have been, if he didn't have revenge scheduled. Bloody false friends. Two-faced backbiters. 

  
He was done with them, anyway. A week on, he'd wear his beloved orange and make sure his Cannons never had another point scored on them ever. Stuff Harry bloody Potter and his mousy mudblood. Ronald Bilius Weasley would be a quidditch god and would drip gold and birds wherever he went. Maybe, just maybe, someday he'd give Harry an autograph - if he begged nicely.

  
His Mum and Dad finally finished their preparations and his Mum took the invitation down from the mantel. His Dad was about to pinch a corner of it when he backed off and whispered "Camera!", then tiptoed over to where they'd left the camera on the kitchen table. He pinched the corner of the invitation when he returned with the camera safely stowed in their bag, and nodded to his Mum. 

  
Ron reached out and pinched the top of the card an instant before his Mum whispered "Activate."

  
They spun for a long time, longer than any Portkey he'd ever taken, and Ron began to wonder if maybe Harry and Hermione hadn't gone Dark and charmed the thing to just make them spin forever. Just as he'd decided the ride took too long, they landed gently in a grassy meadow on a cliff beside the ocean. The sun was high overhead and warm, without a cloud in the sky. Ron let go of the Portkey instantly and backed away from his parents, who paused to look around at the scene. 

  
"Oh Arthur, isn't it beautiful?" His Mum gasped. His dad took her hand and patted it.

  
"It's lovely. Just lovely." He said. 

  
Ron rolled his eyes. It was a bunch of chairs in a field with some arches and some flowers next to a cottage. Big deal.

  
Bill and Fleur popped in next. Fleur took one look around and started gabbling at Bill in her native frog-speak. Ron tuned her out. It was a good thing she was heaven to look at, as he imagined Bill's eyes glazed over the instant she opened her mouth.  
George and Angelina arrived then, and Ron had to pick his jaw up. Angie looked amazing in a dress. She had her hair all done up with some that spilled down her back, and she looked different than Fleur, but no less delicious. He had to adjust his estimation of her significantly. Not that he would ever get to have any of that, of course. Not with how George's attitude was lately. Lost his sense of fun completely, he had. 

  
A troupe of Goblins showed up next. _Goblins_! Who the effing fuck invited Goblins to their wedding?! Merlin's Mother! No wonder they'd ended their spectacular friendship, Harry and Hermione had gone fucking _mental_!

  
Next to pop into view and start shaking hands was the bloody Minister of Magic himself. They'd met Kingsley during the war when he was still an Auror, but apparently Potter had kept kissing arse just like some slimy snake. That figured.  
The chairs started to get used as they made themselves at home, and more people showed up, these he'd never seen before. One older witch who arrived did so with four red-robed Aurors - on duty Aurors. Ron sneered at Potter's obvious Ministry arse-kissery, and looked around for a good place to rain chaos from. He would start with Jellylegs for his former mate. Jellylegs was always good for a laugh. Jellylegs for him, and slugs for her. That'd show her she should've held out for a real wizard, not some backstabbing half-blood bastard.

  
The field sloped uphill slightly where the cottage was, and he saw that the left side of the cottage had pilings beneath to make it level, and there was space beneath the left half of the porch. He would have to crouch, but it would be perfect to snipe from. A thin wood lattice was all that stood between him and the space, so he quietly pulled it away from its moorings and snuck inside, then propped the lattice back up. Nobody even looked.

  
Genius. Pure bloody genius.

* * *

Ginny growled under breath.   
She could see where the wedding was going to take place from where she was, she had arrived facing it, but it was at least a half-mile off. Clearly her Portkey-copying spell needed work.  
She took a careful step as she tried not to step on a snail, but her Portkey had dumped her in the center of a carpet of thousands of them. Was it a strange, ineffectual sort of Portkey Ward? It actually seemed like the kind of thing Ron might come up with.

She had no idea why he was so bloody fond of slugs.

  
She let her mind wonder why there was a carpet of thousands of snails that moved very slowly away from the ocean, and as a result her second step crunched. It sent a shiver up her spine and set her teeth on edge. Then she cursed herself for a fool, and Apparated out of the slowly moving carpet. 

  
"Stupid!" She muttered. "Why on bloody earth there's a massive carpet of snails..." She stopped then, and looked around. Really looked around.

  
She wasn't in Britain anymore. Britain's cliffs were white, the water dark blue. The cliffs here were red, the water turquoise, and there were bloody snail migrations. It had also been five in the morning when she'd activated the Portkey, but the sun was high overhead. Now it made sense why the Invitations had specified to activate them at five in the morning - she'd wondered what they'd been thinking to get married so ridiculously early. 

  
She decided to walk to where the wedding was obviously supposed to occur. She could Apparate closer, but she wanted to be stealthy and Apparation was not. 

  
She realized as she walked briskly through the long grass and brush that it didn't even smell like Britain. It had the same sort of saltiness to the air that Britain's coast had, but there was no rain smell. The ocean here carried undertones she couldn't identify, as opposed to Britain's undertones of cold rain and dead fish. She wondered where she was as she walked. Turkey? Italy maybe? Greece? it was certainly warm enough. She paused to cast a cooling charm on herself before she'd gone a hundred steps. People started to arrive then, and she hurried her pace. No way would she miss her chance.

  
Just as the group of attendees - including several Aurors and the Minister of Magic - seated themselves, she took up a position to the right of one of the pillars that supported the white arches covered in roses. It was a pretty little setting, she had to admit. Very cozy, very quaint. very _cheap_. Nothing at all like hers would be. Harry was bloody loaded! She would have the best of everything. Flights of dragons in gleaming armor, a purpose-built magical ceremony hall... her wedding would make witches green with envy for a thousand years. 

  
The thought put a smile on her face that stayed there until Harry came out of the cottage with Neville. They walked right up through all the arches to stand at the right side of the last arch in front of a podium. Professor - _Headmistress_ \- McGonagall stood behind the podium with a happy smile clearly evident on her face. Neville stood on Harry's right side, and they both just looked toward the cottage like they waited for something.   
Ginny crouched low and took her siphon from her robes. She'd Disillusioned it before she put it in there, but she took the time to cast it again. It would not do to have the thing suddenly visible before she could use it.  
She realized as she aimed it at Harry that it was damned difficult to do when she couldn't see it, so she shifted her grip on it and ran her index finger down it's length. She could at least feel where it was aimed that way. Her wand went into the siphon, and she was ready. She'd brought enough vials of love potion and empties for six shots, so she was confident that in no time at all, Harry would be hers. He would ditch the Frizzy, Naggy Librarian at the altar, and grin stupidly at her bedroom ceiling by dinner.

  
Music began to play then, a stately piece she'd not heard before. It was nice, if again a bit quaint. Hermione came out of the cottage on the arm of some older man she'd never seen before. Ginny was forced to grind her teeth. The Frigid Donkeyfaced Beaver was gorgeous. Her hair had been somehow coaxed into delicate ringlets, piled on her head except for a few that artfully cascaded down her delicate neck. Ginny was fairly certain she actually _glowed_.   
Ginny seized the growling, thrashing envy that roared through her and twisted it into gleeful anticipation. Her Harry would belong to her in moments. Let the Boring Bookworm have her moment, it would make her imminent despair that much sweeter. 

Luna trailed behind the Glowing, Henpecking Harridan, with a wide, happy smile on her face. Her eyes never left Neville. Ginny would have thought Luna had better taste, but that was one less witch after her Harry, so she was fine with it.

  
Finally Bushyhead made it to the podium and the man with her made a show of taking her hand from his own arm and placing it on Harry's. They exchanged a smile, and the man sat down in the front row on the left.

  
"Dearly beloved," McGonagall addressed the small crowd, "We are gathered here today to witness the union of Harry James Potter and Hermione Jean Granger in the happy state of matrimony."

  
Ginny took careful aim.

  
McGonagall continued, "If there are any present who can give just cause why these two should not wed, speak now or forever hold your peace."

  
Well, _that_ was an invitation if she'd ever heard one.

  
"_Subpono_." She whispered. The surge of magic raced away from her, and absolute glee filled her entire being as she saw the Amortentia vanish from its vial. 

  
That was when everything went wrong. 

  
She'd seen Harry's blood before. It was not green. She stared in horror as the empty vial in her siphon filled with thick, deep greeny-blue... something.

  
Harry whirled to face the crowd and yelled her name. "GINNYYYYYYYYY!!! I LOVE YOU!!!"

  
The Gormless Glowing Granny pulled her wand from her wedding dress and began casting in random directions, just as a bright orange bolt hit Harry in the chest, and his legs began to wobble as though they were made of putty.

  
The four Aurors and the witch they'd accompanied began to spray the area with spells, as did Shacklebolt and Professor Flitwick.

  
A greasy, sickly yellow bolt slammed into the bride, and she doubled over immediately as she vomited slugs onto the red carpet. Even so, she ignored it and slung spell after spell toward the cottage between waves of slug vomit.

  
Too much happened at once, and Ginny was unable to keep track of it. She felt a spell slam into her side as she dove for cover, but it was too late. She could see herself. 

  
"GINNY!!!" Harry's voice cried with glee. He began to throw chairs out of his way as he raced toward her. She looked up just in time to see two bolts headed toward her, and she knew she had no chance to dodge either. Shacklebolt and one of the robed Aurors both hit her with their spells and immediately she seized up, unable to move.

  
Harry threw himself on top of her and kissed her. He kissed her lips, played with her hair, nuzzled her neck and fondled her breasts before he was pulled bodily off her by two of the robed Aurors.

  
"Let me go!" He complained, "I need to be with her! I love her! We're meant to be!" 

  
One of the Goblin guests put a pair of manacles around Harry's ankles, and one of the Aurors lashed him to a chair via _Incarcerous_.

  
The Aurors who stood over her picked her up and set her into a chair as best they could, and proceeded to pat her down. They took her wand, her siphon, and her pouch of extra vials.

  
All four Aurors left then to go sweep the area, as the witch they accompanied ordered them to do. The Bitchy Beaver Bride was given a potion, and she stopped heaving up slugs. Bushy Bitchy Britches rinsed her mouth out with some light green liquid, and Ginny was sad to note she hadn't gotten any vomit on her dress. 

  
Wobbly-legged Harry wobbled his knees back and forth in the chair and made moogly eyes at her. At least that was done. It didn't matter if she were arrested now, Harry loved her. He would fix it. He was loaded. Even if he was some kind of... something... with green blood now.

  
"What are you even doing here?!" Her mother screeched. 

  
"Great." Ginny thought, "Another screaming hissy fit from mum. Just what I need."

  
It never came. Her father had his hand on her arm, and he sat her down gently in one of the chairs. She sat and held her tongue. Ginny had never seen her father so angry. He stood there red-faced, his fists clenched and quivered as they went white. His eyes blazed with fury and disappointment as they bored into hers, and then he... turned his back on her. He slowly and deliberately turned to face the opposite direction.

  
Her mother clapped her hands over her mouth and began to cry.

  
Bill let go of Fleur and looked at Ginny for a long moment, then shook his head. He too then stood and turned his back on her. Fleur just stood in front of Bill and talked to him in low tones. George put his arm around Angie's shoulders, and they both turned to face the other way.

  
Finally, with an agonized look and tears in her eyes, her mother stood and put her arm around her father's shoulders as she faced the other direction and sobbed.

  
Someone started to scream.

* * *

Ron laughed out loud. "Take that, you selfish prick!" He jeered. "You posh, manky, tosser! Serves you right, ditching your best mate!" The sight of Harry as he stumbled about and knocked into chairs while his legs went different directions was priceless, utterly priceless. 

  
"Slugulus Eructo!" His second spell hit Hermione right in the chest. "There you go too, bloody munter slag! You could've had all this, at least for a while! Not anymore! You're cut off!" He laughed again as she doubled over and heaved up slugs and slime. He watched her and laughed while she alternately heaved up slugs and cast spells in his direction. Every time she tried he laughed harder and harder. 

  
Then she hit him.

  
He stopped laughing instantly as adrenaline spiked through him, driven by the fear of what the spell might have been, but he relaxed after a second. He wasn't petrified, he wasn't stunned, it wasn't even a jinx, hex, or curse. All she'd cast at him was _Finite_. She'd cancelled his invisibility, that was all!

  
He laughed again. "Way to waste a spell! For a smart bint you're bloody stupid!" 

  
He never saw who cast the second spell, but he did feel it as it washed over him and locked up his whole body from his chin to his toes. Suddenly deprived of the muscles he used to balance himself, Ron slowly toppled backward and rolled onto his side.

  
"Who's the greasy sneak?!" He demanded. "Poxy bloody wankers!"

  
As he lay on his side, faced toward the darkness beneath the cottage, his eyes slowly adjusted to the gloom. As they did, he became aware that the ground and the ceiling - the floor of the cottage - in the back corner moved.  
He watched as the seconds ticked by, the movement slowly, inexorably, crept toward him. Only when the thick carpet of whatever it was undulated close enough to him to exit the shadows could he see what it was.

  
Spiders.

  
Hundreds of thick, brown, fuzzy, dinnerplate-sized spiders.

  
He felt tiny touches on his legs.

  
He watched smaller spiders crawl over the backs of the bigger ones as they neared his face.

  
Tiny touches on his hands. 

  
"Go 'way." He whispered, unable to use his voice.

  
Tiny touches in a scramble up his arm. Tiny touches on his stomach under his shirt.

  
The biggest spider he could see stopped inches from his nose and reared up on its hind legs. Ron felt his bladder let go. Little spiders climbed up the big one and jumped from it to land on his face. 

  
Tiny touches on his face and neck, tiny touches _in his ear_.

  
Ron began to scream.

* * *

"All clear!" One of the Aurors shouted.

  
A few seconds later, two others responded with "All clear!"

  
The screams suddenly cut short, and the fourth Auror yelled "Another one under the porch! All clear now!"

  
A stiff body floated out of the space beneath the cottage, and the Auror cast a gentle wind spell at it. Large brown blobs fell off the body and scurried back under the cottage. The Auror then floated the stiff body into the chair next to her. 

  
It was Ron.

  
How in Morrigan's murderous minge did peabrain even get there - wherever there was? No wonder her whole plan had been ruined, Stupid had turned up. It didn't matter at this point though, she just had to wait for her Harry to get her out of the mess Stupid had made.

  
The older witch who had arrived with the Aurors picked her beautiful siphon up from the chair next to her and sniffed it. Her eyes enlarged and she put it down again and stepped away immediately.

  
"Amortentia. Exceptionally powerful." She growled.

  
All four Aurors, Shacklebolt, and every goblin turned to look at Ginny with undisguised disgust.

The door to the cottage opened and a Second Harry exited. He walked straight up to Boring Brown, concern in his eyes. 

  
"Are you alright?" He asked. 

  
She nodded and smiled at him. "Disgusting, but temporary. I'm a bit surprised it was so tame, honestly."

  
"Thank you so much for doing this." Harry stepped into her and hugged her briefly, then crossed the space to stand in front of Ginny. He picked her siphon up and sniffed it.

  
"Flowers and parchment. Broom polish. Shea butter. It's Amortentia, isn't it?" His pretty green eyes bored into hers. 

  
She nodded slightly. What the magic was shea butter?

  
Harry turned to the goblins present. "I'm so sorry, I had no-" One of the goblins held up a hand to forestall Harry's apology. 

  
"As far as I'm concerned, she does nothing but bring honor to her clan." The goblin said solemnly, then turned to stare at Ginny like she was a piece of meat at a banquet. "This one, on the other hand..." 

  
The older witch who stood in quiet conversation with the four Aurors nodded once, then stepped forward. "We should get these two to the station, get them into holding cells so you can get on with the festivities."

  
Second Harry frowned then, took out his wand and conjured two glass rectangles three feet by three feet by ten feet tall. "Will those do? I'd hate for you to miss out on the fun. You weren't invited to work, you know."

  
The older witch smiled at Harry. "That's very kind of you, Lord Potter. If it's alright with you, I'm certain we can spare an hour or two."

  
"Brilliant!" He grinned, "Thank you, Minister. We both appreciate your assistance as well as your time."

  
The Minister smiled back at Harry, and motioned two of the Aurors forward. One of them pointed his wand at her, and Ginny felt herself float up off her chair, over the arches, and down into one of the glass boxes Harry had conjured. Ron floated down into the one next to her. He smelled of wee.

  
Second Harry went back into the cottage then, and a Second Frigid Nag came out with him a moment later. She went and hugged the first one - that looked a bit strange - and then hugged First Harry. She and Second Harry then spoke quietly with the rest of the Weasleys. After a moment, her Mum hugged Second Harry and Second Bookish Bint, and they all sat down again. Second Harry went to stand by the podium and talked with McGonagall and Neville while Second Boring Shrew went back into the cottage.

  
First Harry was released, and immediately picked up a chair and set it down next to her prison, then sat in it with a big smile and his hand on the glass. He leaned over and kissed the glass, then scooched the chair closer and leaned on it as he made loveydovey eyes at her. She would have beamed with triumph if she hadn't seen the second one. Did she bag the real one? A frantic worry settled just beneath her heart.

  
First Horsefaced Nag went to sit in the crowd next to a skiny wizard she'd never seen before, and held his hand. 

  
It was then, as she surveyed the entire wedding party, the arches, the small dais and the podium thereupon, that Ginny realized that she had potioned the wrong Harry. Furthermore, she realized that the real Harry hated her.  
She and Ron had perfect seats to watch the wedding from, and neither one of them could look away.

* * *

"Relax mate, you look great." Neville whispered. 

  
Harry stopped fidgeting with his cufflinks and sighed. "Thanks, I'm just... nervous, I guess."

  
"You're already married, Harry. What is there to be nervous about?" Neville grinned at him.

  
He shook his head. "I know that, in my head, really I do. It just... It feels official."

  
Neville shook his head. "You might be able to fool yourself with that tripe, but you can't fool me with it. What are you really nervous about?"

  
Harry flashed a rueful grin and hung his head before he looked back at Neville. "I'm petrified, Nev. I'm terrified I'm going to bollix it up. She's the best thing in my life, and I need her more than I need air. What if I -"

  
"Oh shut up." Neville scoffed. "She loves you, you daft git. She loves _you_. As you are. The only way you could possibly bollix it up is by being stupidly afraid you'll bollix it up. I've watched the two of you dance around each other since first bloody year. Never apart, never understanding you were together. Just relax and be happy, Harry. You both deserve it."

  
Since first year? _There are more important things - friendship, bravery and_ \- Love. She'd been about to say love. Why had he not seen it before?! Always with her head in a book just to save his worthless hide. Even turned to stone she managed to save him. She never left._ I'll go with you_. She loved him, and she always had. Sunshine turned to ribbons, sewn over sadness and pain. Neville was right, he was an utter turnip. Hermione loved him. 

  
He hung his head again, and took a deep breath. "Sorry. You're an insufferable prat when you're right, you know?"

  
Neville grinned massively. "Yeah."

  
Harry grinned back at him.

  
"You'll be my best mate after I ask Luna?"

  
"Best Man. Absolutely." Harry shook Neville's hand and slapped him on the shoulder with a huge grin. 

  
The music started then, and he and Neville both turned to look toward the cottage.

  
Even though he'd seen Gwen as Hermione in her dress... it wasn't the same. Hermione _shone_. The sun dimmed. Colours paled. Birds sang off-key. She smiled at him from behind her veil, and gravity ceased to exist. Harry knew at that moment, beyond the possibility of doubt, that he had always loved her. The he would always love her. That nothing in the universe could part them. Not sorrow, not hate, not pain, not death. They would be together when time itself was just a memory.

  
Somewhere galaxies away Headmistress McGonagall said some words. Harry was busy dancing across nebulae with Hermione while she outshone every star. 

  
He was jolted from the universe of her eyes by Neville's elbow. Was this the part where he was supposed to say something? "Never has anything been more beautiful than you, and never were words more true than I Love You." 

  
Hermione's eyes melted and went watery as she looked back into his own watery eyes.

  
"A simple 'I Do' would suffice, Mister Potter." McGonagall chastised softly.

  
"I absolutely do." Harry agreed.

  
"Do you, Hermione Jean Granger -"

  
"I do." Hermione interrupted. "I did, I do, I will. Now and always."

  
"Now and always." Harry agreed. 

  
"That's it, my dears. You're married now." McGonagall reminded them. 

  
Harry just smiled as he gazed into Hermione's infinite depths.

  
"I believe a kiss is traditional?" She prompted after a minute.

  
Kiss Hermione? _Brilliant_.

  
He lifted the veil from her face and draped it behind her, and their faces were drawn toward each other as though all the gravity that had ceased to exist had simply shifted to their lips.

  
Luna giggled and Neville elbowed him again - twice - before gravity had righted itself enough for Harry to let her lips go. The pink hue of Hermione's cheeks was his new favourite colour.

  
They were _married_. For _real_.

* * *

To her absolute delight, her paralysis ended just as her parents re-took their seats.

  
Ginny pounded on the glass. It didn't ring like real glass though, it was dull and muffled and her fists only made dead thud sounds. The moment the Second Boring Bride came out of the cottage, a frenzy ignited in her chest. It was happening. Her Harry was going to marry that Boring Bookworm whore.

  
"Dammit!" She shouted, "Let me out! I have to save Harry! Stop this! HE'S MINE! HE BELONGS TO ME!"

  
No-one gave even the slightest indication they heard her at all.

  
She continued down the aisle under the arches at her dignified, stately pace on the arm of whoever that was, and then she was there, she was next to Her Harry, as though she had any right to be near him. Ginny pounded on the glass harder. She screamed. Nobody even blinked. 

  
She slumped against the glass and felt queasy. Her Harry was being taken from her right in front of her while she was powerless to stop it. "GIVE ME MY WAND YOU FUCKS!!" She screamed.

  
McGonagall droned on about love and matrimony, and when the invitation to destroy the ceremony came again, she threw herself against the glass. She pounded and screamed, and nobody paid her any mind at all. McGonagall rolled on without even a glance in Ginny's direction.

  
She looked over at First Harry as he leaned against the glass from the outside, and he gave no indication he hear her either. She saw a bubble form on the side of his neck. Then another, and another. She stared in grotesque fascination, unable to determine exactly what the bubbles were or why he bubbled at all. The bubbles didn't burst, as bubbles were wont to do, rather they formed and bulged, then receded. Over the course of a few seconds, Harry's skin began to change. His face began to change. He shrank. His ears enlarged and grew pointed. His chest and hips bulged. His skin turned green. 

  
In the span of a few breaths, First Harry became a Goblin. A _female_ Goblin.

  
As Ginny looked on in horror, the goblin turned and smiled winsomely at her and pressed her lips to the glass in a big smooch.

  
Ginny shivered then - partially in disgust, partially because that was the instant she realized she would not escape her situation. Harry would not throw money or fame at anyone to get her out of trouble. She was done.

  
She glanced over to First Bookish Beaver, and her hands curled into fists. Gwenog Jones sat there in a wedding dress and smiled while she leaned on some random skinny wizard. The sting of betrayal danced on Ginny's skin.

  
At the podium, Her Harry lifted that bitch's veil and kissed her breathless. That was supposed to be her! That bitch had usurped her place and stolen Her Harry from her! That was NOT how things were supposed to go! "GIVE ME BACK MY LIFE!!!" She screamed, "YOU THIEVING CUNT!!!"

  
She pounded on the glass as tears of frustration and rage dripped from her cheeks, but no-one listened. No-one cared that the Bookworm had stolen what rightfully belonged to her. Spent, Ginny slumped to the ground and hid her face in her knees while she sobbed. 

* * *

Ron woke up in a box.

  
It must have been hours they left them there. He wouldn't have minded so much if he'd had a chess set or something to do, but he was bored. _So bored_. Even worse, there was music inside the cottage and he could see people dance and laugh and have a grand time. They probably had food, too. Loads of it. Piles and piles of delicious, sumptuous wedding food. 

  
His hands went involuntarily to his poor empty stomach. Bloody torture, that was. Cruel and inhumane to keep a boy from the delicious sustenance. He had tried to climb out of the box - there was no lid on it, after all. He'd managed to get his fingers over the lip at the top, only to have a stinging hex hit him right in the digits. Two of the red-robed Aurors patrolled the area with overlapping paths so that one of them could always see him and Ginny. He could see the jabby bastard just waited for him to try again, so he didn't.

  
After a long time, those two Aurors were replaced by the other two, and those two resumed the patrol. He and Ginny waited and waited some more. Ginny mostly sat on the ground and cried, though he wasn't really sure why. Sometimes she screamed things he couldn't hear, but mostly she just sat like a lump.

  
Finally, after forever, people exited the cottage. Harry and Hermione, Kingsley, the old witch and the other two Aurors, and the gaggle of goblins all trouped up to their prison cells. He couldn't hear what they said, but the old witch traded some signed and sealed parchments with the goblins, and then with Kingsley. He did manage to catch his own name on the one that went to Shacklebolt.

  
Harry pulled his wand out after the four robed Aurors had surrounded him and Gin, and their cages vanished.

  
A spell hit him in the back and he couldn't move. He could still talk though, and that would be enough. Before he could even think what to say however, the old witch who'd brought the Aurors spoke.

"Normally we'd have you two in holding cells for a week or more while the paperwork was filled out and correspondence forwarded, but as we happened to have all the relevant parties here at the party, we decided to just get the paperwork done over a wonderful dinner, with relaxed conversation and tea. Thank you again, Lord and Lady Potter." She paused to nod toward Harry and Hermione.

  
"Our pleasure, Minister." Hermione smiled. She actually looked pretty good for a bushy-headed bookworm with no chest. Then again, maybe he had just been too long without a proper witch.

  
The Minister smiled back at her, and turned to Ginny. "Ginevra Molly Weasley, you are charged with seven counts of possession of a Class One controlled substance, possession of a Class One banned item, one count of use of said Class One item and substance with intent to enslave, Attempted Line Theft, Slavery of an Intelligent Being, and Breach of the Melbourne Treaty of Peace. 

  
"The sentences for most of these crimes would be forfeiture of any and all rights until such time as the injured party or parties allowed you clemency, along with probably imprisonment and ruinous fines. Unfortunately, the sentence for such an egregious breach of Treaty is, of course, immediate death. However, in the interests of continued goodwill and pleasant relations between our two nations as well as their abiding pursuit of Justice, our Goblin brethren have graciously allowed this sentence to be commuted to enforced slavery. For the duration of the poison-induced slavery you have inflicted upon Flense, Accountant of the Gobin Nation, you shall henceforth be placed under effects of the very same poison, and named the sole property of Flense, to do with as she pleases. Upon Flense's recovery from her forced slavery at your hand, your sentence shall be re-evaluated."

  
Bloody slimy Ministry types. That was the problem with them, they never just came out and said what they were on about, they just used words and words and words to try to bamboozle you. Ron was wise to her slick shite, though. He just acted like he hadn't heard a bloody thing. Deal with that, you withered hag.

  
"If there are no disputes?" The Minister witch asked. No hand nor voice raised. Ron certainly wasn't going to give them the satisfaction. 

  
"Very well. Ginevra Molly Weasley, you shall be taken to the Department of Mysteries where your dose of Amortentia will be administered and you shall be registered as property of Flense."

  
Property of Lens? He had no idea what that meant, but the way it was said, it couldn't be good. Strangely, Ginny didn't put up a fuss. He hadn't expected that. Normally Gin was the one to whine and screech and raise such a kerfuffle that Mum and Dad caved just to get her to shut up. He, on the other hand, had of necessity cultivated his roguish charm in order to talk his way out of trouble. All he had to do was open debate on the topic of right and wrong, and he would win his freedom in no time. 

  
He was a master debater. 

  
He turned to the old witch - Minister witch - and smiled his winningest smile, covered with a generous ladle of naughty scamp. She frowned at him and clapped him in irons, then handed him over to Kingsley. "Your crimes, unlike those of your sister, broke no international laws or treaties young wizard. You will be remanded to Minister Shacklebolt's custody, pending your own trial."

  
That avenue closed in a hurry. Ron cast about for any sympathetic face, any port in a storm. His gaze settled on Harry.

  
"Harry, c'mon mate, we're best mates! Think of everything we've been through together!" Ron smiled like it was second year, like they were invincible outlaws who flaunted the rules and looked smashing doing it.

  
Harry's smile fell from his face and he frowned at Ron. "Harry? Who's Harry? My name is Lame Duck. I do seem to recall dragging a whingeing, spineless, bottomless stomach through school though now that you mention it. When things got tough, he went home to his mummy so she could look after him and only returned when he thought there was something to gain from it. He made a tiny contribution that anyone could have done and flogged it about like he was some kind of hero. Even worse, he crowed his own magnificence to every magazine and newspaper that would listen, AND LEFT HERMIONE ALONE." He shouted the last right in Ronald's face, his green eyes ablaze with fury.

  
Ronald flinched away, suddenly aware how Harry had intimidated Voldemort. He chuckled nervously and grinned as though Harry talked about someone else. "Come on, mate." He grinned, "Don't be like that, we had loads of fun! We're the best best mates if ever best mates there was! Come on, Hare..." 

  
Harry did relax then, but it was an icy calm. Gone was the anger, frustration, and pain, replaced by a level, frosty gaze. "I'll return the favour Ron, and abandon you now. After all, I'm not much good, am I? Have a nice life, Ronald. You're on your own now. I'm going to go be stiff for my bookworm."

  
Ronald's face sank into a pout as he looked at the floor. His eyes flicked up at Harry just before the Aurors started to march him off, to gauge whether his pout was effective. 

  
Harry and Hermione had turned their backs on him and walked toward the cottage as they smiled at each other. Hermione had a handful of Harry's bum.


	8. Chapter 8

Harry felt like a human puddle.

The soothing shoosh of the waves as they lapped at the beach, the bone-warming smile of the sun, the smell of coconut and jasmine and butterscotch and parchment - there had never been a moment in time when he had been more relaxed. Of course, a great deal of that relaxation might have been Hermione's increased libido, but he filed that under the Happy column, rather than the Relaxed column. Maybe it ought to have a column all its own instead...

He rolled onto his side and bit his lip as he looked at his wife.  _His Wife_ .

Her golden-tanned skin glistened in the sun from the mix of coconut oil and sweat, and highlighted the swell of her breasts and stomach, the curves of her hipbones and leg muscles. He felt his desire for her rise again, even as a smile suffused his entire being. She was  _so beautiful_ . And she loved  _him_ . Just him. Not the saviour, not the hero, not the Boy-Who-Didn't-Want-Any-Of-That-Shit. Just him. Just Harry.

She must have sensed his gaze on her - something that happened with increasing frequency - and turned onto her side to look back at him. Sunlight entered her eye and turned half the iris that faced the sun a deep amber.

"You're so beautiful, Hermione." He told her softly.

"Hmph." She snorted, and kissed the end of his nose. "I feel like a whale."

He reached out and brushed an errant curl behind her ear. "Every whale everywhere just got more beautiful."

She laughed and slapped his arm. "Prat."

He chuckled as he mock-flinched, and then kissed her. "Guilty." He admitted. He could see love and mirth dance in her eyes, and then all at once, it was replaced with shock.

"What? What is it?" He asked, instantly concerned.

She shook her head, both lips in her teeth, and reached for his hand, to put in on her stomach, just below her navel.

It  _moved_ under his hand.

His eyes connected with hers, and he could see his shock and wonder reflected there.  _His child_ moved.  _His baby_ kicked his hand. There was a whole human in there. A  _part of him_ . A part of  _both_ of them. Him and Hermione  _as one_ , in one single package.

"There's _life_ in me, Harry." She whispered. Tears streamed from her to wet the sand that clung to their blanket. "Part of you moving around _inside_ _me_."

He kissed her and wiped away her tears, even as she did the same for him. " _Both_ of us, Hermione. You and me in one person. I never imagined I could be this happy."

"Oh Harry," She whispered, and drew him into her. He happily pressed himself against her and held her as close as possible while they shared their joy and made love again on the beach under the warm sun while the turquoise ocean ebbed and swelled.

  
  


* * *

  
  


**Golden Betrayer**

**By Penelope Clearwater**

**You know him, everyone knows him. His face has graced the cover of Witch Weekly and Wizard Quarterly for months at a time. Even this esteemed publication has carried his face for weeks running. That's right, it's the Slayer of Slytherin's Basilisk, the Defender against Dementors, the Hero of Hogwarts, Wizard Ronald Bilius Weasley.**

**His boyish charm and natural enthusiasm won us over, and this reporter is not ashamed to admit she was one of his many fans. Many of you are also fans of his best mate, The Boy Who Lived, and their stalwart female companion Witch Granger. The Golden Trio, leaders of the fight against You Know Who, Saviours of Magical Britain - we owe them everything... Or so Wizard Weasley would have us believe.**

**This reporter attended a trial hearing at the Ministry this very morning, the trial of one Ronald Bilius Weasley. **

**We have been lied to, dear readers.**

**Under Veritaserum, Wizard Weasley testified that not only did all the heroic deeds he accompished during his schooling at Hogwarts ** _ **actually** _ ** belong to Witch Granger and Wizard Potter, but so did everything he had claimed to have done prior to and during the Battle of Hogwarts. **

**Furthermore, when pressed for additional information, Wizard Weasley shocked the entire courtroom by admitting that Wizard Potter and Witch Granger had not retired to the countryside for fear of the spotlight as he had previously - and vociferously - stated. Harry Potter had, in fact, been in a deathly coma for four months after a cowardly attack by a surviving Death Eater. **

**You read that corrrectly, dear readers. ** _ **Four Months** _ ** our saviour languished on the line between life and death. Healers at St. Mungo's admitted that he actually died on one occasion, for almost three minutes before they were able to revive him. St. Mungo's staff also told this reporter that Witch Granger never left his side and worked tirelessly to find a cure for our saviour. She succeeded. **

**It may come as no surprise to some then, that Witch Granger is now Lady Potter. The entirety of the ** _ **Prophet** _ ** staff wish Lord and Lady Potter great happiness in their new lives together. **

**What does that have to do with the trial of Wizard Weasley, you ask?**

**Wizard Weasley was arrested for ** _ **cursing the bride and groom during the wedding** _ **. That's right, dear readers. The two bravest souls in Britain - those to whom we owe our very freedom - cursed in the back on what was meant to be their happiest day by the Wizard they called brother. **

**This reporter was not only shocked and disgusted to learn the facts of the situation, but truly, deeply saddened to learn that Witch Weekly's Best Smile was more fake than a Zonko's Moustache. **

**The specific charges against Wizard Weasley were not made public, though his sentence was - Mandatory Public Service. What this Public Service will entail was also not made public, but assurances were made that Wizard Weasley will definitely be seen in public again. **

**This reporter hopes he is seen in public soon, and can't wait to express her feelings to the False Friend, the Base Betrayer, the Lowest of the Low - and hopes you feel the same.**

George sighed and folded the paper in half again and set it back on the table.

"I don't know what's worse," Angie said, "The fact that Potter actually killed a Basilisk while we were there and didn't tell anyone, or the fact that Ronald said he did it."

"Neither." George rubbed his brow with two fingers. "The fact that Harry only killed the thing and nearly himself to save Ginny's soul, and she repaid him by trying to steal his life and fortune."

"Merlin." Angie whispered. "Is that true?"

George only nodded. He'd been forced to take a vow not to tell anyone who wasn't family the real details. He fully planned on making Angie family, but he hadn't got around to it yet. He just hoped she was willing after everything his siblings had done came to light. "Harry's a true hero in every sense. Selfless, honourable, humble. He and Hermione deserve their peace and quiet."

Angie shifted from her chair to his lap and kissed his head. "They were  _awfully_ cute together. By themselves too. You should have seen Hermione at the spa she took us to the day before the wedding. She was so adorably nervous."

That made him chuckle. "As if she had anything to be nervous about. They've been mental for each other since first year."

"I know! That's what was so adorable." She laughed softly. "Her mum is an absolute treasure too. Took the piss straight out of her. It was brilliant."

George tightened his arms around her and thanked his lucky stars for her again. The half of him that was missing hurt then, more than it had in weeks, and he thought that without Fred, it seemed that the whole family spiraled apart like a broken carousel.

A loud banging came from downstairs, and he looked at the clock. They weren't due to open for another hour.

Angie stood up and he followed, but she looked out the window when he went for the door.

"George honey... that may be a bit of a problem..."

George stopped and went to look out the window next to her. The street below was filled with people, all looking toward the shop.

"Probably all looking for dear brother Ronald." George sighed. "I'd best go deal with it."

"I'm coming too then. I'm not letting any angry mob hex  _my_ tall red and lanky."

George laughed. "I love it when you're possessive. Make sure you stay hidden if you can, I don't want anyone hexing my cheeky chaser either."

Angelina winked and smacked her own bottom at him.

"Definitely partial, I must say." George grinned and kissed her before they headed downstairs through the shop to the front doors. Angelina stayed behind the sales counter with her wand out just in case.

"Good morning, everyone!" George greeted the mob, "Glad I raised my stock of Fizzing Whizbangs!" He stood in the door, with one hand on the doorknob and the other on the frame.

"Bring out the other one!" Someone shouted, followed by "Yeah, where's the betrayer?!"

George mock-pouted. "You mean you're not here for my wonderful Wizarding Wheezes?"

"I am!" someone in the crowd said. "I thought there was a sale or something."

"I love your honesty!" George shouted, "For you, I'll open an hour early! Step right up, kind sir!"

A younger wizard in less than stylish robes pushed his way to the fore, and George let him pass into the shop. "Angie! Five percent from this fine young man's purchase - call it an earlybird special!"

Several of the mob near the front looked jealously at the man who walked inside, and looked at each other.

"What about the betrayer!?" Someone near the back called.

"Yeah, where's the back-cursing liar?" A woman's voice demanded.

"Sorry!" George called out over them all. "He doesn't live or work here anymore, as I'm sure you can imagine. He is actually a Guest of The Ministry for the minute, but I can assure you he won't be back in this shop unless he's making purchases!"

"Umm... Could we get a discount too?" The bloke nearest George whispered as he eyed the man in the store gleefully examining the wares.

"Oh alright, go on then, ya wee scamp!" George laughed as he let the man in.

"Hey, why are they going inside?!" Someone shouted from the back.

"There's an earlybird special on, didn't you know?" George shouted back, "Five percent from your purchases for getting the worm!"

"What? Really?" Someone asked.

"Let me in too!" Someone else called.

"What about the Betrayer?!" Someone else shouted angrily.

"No discount for Betrayers!" George shouted back.

Several people laughed.

"Let me in too! My son's birthday is coming up!" Someone else called.

"Alrighty!" George called to the crowd, "Step right up and enjoy Wizarding Wheezes first ever Earlybird Special! Don't crowd, plenty of fun and laughs for everyone!"

Angelina kept one eye on the customers while she watched George work the crowd, and she wondered not for the first time how two boys born in the same house a mere two years apart could be so utterly different. Ronald would have locked all the doors and hidden in a corner or flooed to his Mum and Dad's. George... George had simultaneously turned an angry mob out for blood into paying customers, and made her want to shag him blind.

She decided then and there that she would have him. If he hadn't asked her by Christmas, she'd take matters into her own hands.

  
  


* * *

  
  


He didn't get it.

He hadn't done anything wrong! Sure, he'd hexed a couple of wankers with some harmless prank spells, but that was nothing! People did that all the time! It was a righteous spot of revenge on those who had wronged  _him_ ! 

Ron began to think people just plain had it in for him, even his own bloody family. Bill took him to the hospital like there was something wrong with him, then his parents went completely mental and turned their backs on him like he was some kind of outcast or something, then his best mate deliberately abandoned him - told him to his face, no less! - and married the witch  _he had dibs on_ . The world was bloody mad. 

Maybe it was just as well they'd chucked him in a holding cell and buggered off. He wasn't sure he wanted any part of the madness that ran rampant out there. Nobody played by the bloody rules. Even Neville The Squib had started to act like he had a pair, and he'd thought that was a laugh, but then Longbottom went and made nice with slimy fucking snakes! Like they were regular people! Fucking madness.

He sighed. He missed his Playwizard posters on the walls. His Witch of the Month collection kept a smile on his face, but that was gone now. He wouldn't be surprised if his mental family had thrown them in the bin. Bloody waste, that. He looked around the cell again, since that was all there was to see. It wasn't a terrible cell, really. It was nearly the size of his room at the Burrow, but had a shower and a toilet and everything in it! It was two strides away, but he reckoned he could hit it from the bed. He hadn't managed it last night, he'd run out of wee before he'd got his aim right.

It was a bit like a hotel, really. One he couldn't leave. They brought him food, and that was the best part. He could happily amuse himself between meals as long as the food kept coming.

He found himself excited by the sound of footsteps as they approached. Maybe his stupid, useless family had decided to get him out of there finally!

Instead, a Ministry Auror turned up. It was a witch - a fairly pretty one, at that - but the expression on her face made a put-out Lavender Brown look positively joyful.

"On your feet, shitbag." She ordered.

"Get stuffed, bint." He replied.

That made her smile, and that was somehow worse.

She tapped her wand on the wall next to the glass, and part of the glass disappeared in the shape of a door. She stood in the doorway and flicked her wand at him. he recognized the bright red stunner as it crossed the room, but she was too close and recognize it was all he had time to do.

He woke later to find he was outdoors. On his left was the edge of a forest, on his right was a once-green meadow that led to a lake. The grass was withered and brown as the cold months descended.

"Good morning, sunshine." The auror witch smiled at him, "Ready to get to work?"

He smiled Roguish Smile Number Three at her - his go-to 'I'll be naughty if you will' smile.

"Alright, get yer kit off then." He winked at her. He was so smooth he impressed himself. Guaranteed to be dripping with birds in no time, starting with the uppity Ministry Goon.

She smiled at him and offered him a hand up, so he took it. She stood close to him, ran her hand over his chest up to his shoulder... then planted her knee in his WizardEggs.

He dropped like a stone to his knees and then his side as his hands went to his precious jewels and he struggled for breath.

"Oi, oi!" A voice called from somewhere, "We need that! Don't make 'im useless to us after all the bloody prepwork!"

Ronald's eyes were squeezed shut, but he heard the vicious bitch shout back "He doesn't need bollocks - unless you were planning to breed him?"

Laughter floated back from wherever the other voice was. It sounded more toward his left, closer to the forest.

It was a long, long moment until his Happy Boys started to feel normal again, and he was able to move around. He got up on all fours and breathed deeply as things began to stop screaming at him.

"Well, ready to try that again, criminal? I will happily pancake your little squishies all fucking day if you like, or are you ready to get to work?" The horrid slag stood over him, hands on hips, with her wand poking out of one hand. He wanted to lunge for it and get it away from her, but the look in her eyes said she wanted him to try. So he didn't.

"Wot'm'I doin then?" He grumbled sullenly. As soon as he got her wand away from her, he'd hex her so bad she'd have slugs coming out her arse too.

She went to a pile of boxes and gear that was behind her and pulled a vest out of it. It was a brain-melting yellow-green colour with equally eye-watering orange stripes on it. She threw it at him, and he caught it.

"Get that on. Then go talk to Professor Farnslowe over there." She pointed at the man in tattered brown robes who wore a strange sort of rounded hat, like a bowler but with a large brim on the front and back, and khaki in colour.

"That's it?" He raised an eyebrow.

She frowned at him and her wand got twitchy. "Of course that's not it, you fucking idiot. You're a fucking criminal. You were sentenced to Public Service.  _This_ is your Public Service. Go do whatever you're told to do or you'll be  _made_ to do whatever you're told to do!" 

She pointed her wand at him and flicked it toward the Professor twice.

Criminal?

He wasn't a fucking criminal. It was  _he_ who'd been wronged!  _He_ was the good guy! He was a Merlindamned hero! He felt his lip curl in disgust at the Ministry Hag's accusation. 

Fine. He saw how it was. The Ministry hadn't been purged at all, it was still filled with slimy snakes and Voldemort lickspittles. Fine. He would let them have their paltry revenge for now. He would find a way to get free soon, and then he was history. If Britain was run by snakes and Death Eaters, then he would leave and let everyone stew in the slime they'd created. They owed him everything, and they'd come around when he wasn't there to fight evil for them. They'd beg him to come back.

He looked back into the Servant Of Evil's eyes with cold steel determination. "Fine. I'll get back to you."

She snorted at him. "MOVE!" she bellowed, and hit his arse with a stinger. Her stinger was nothing like his mother's, either. It filled his whole backside with raw pain and made him grab his cheeks as he ran forward to get away from her. He had to pause to wipe a tear away before he got to the dotty old man in scruffy brown robes.

"Right!" The old wizard clapped his hands together with a smile when Ron arrived at his location. "Your job is simple, Mister Weasel, just -"

"It's Weasley."

He stopped and blinked. "Is it? Right then, your job is simple, Mister Weaselly. Just walk that direction, between those two trees there. When you get to the large hollow basin, you'll want to turn around and come back. When you do come back, just make sure you come back between those two trees. There are nets among all the other trees, and the only way out is between those two trees there, understand?"

"That's stupid. Walk to the hollow basin then come back between those trees. Why would you even bother with nets anywhere else? Whole bloody world has gone mental." Ron grumbled petulantly as he rubbed his bottom.

"Pay it no mind, just follow instructions and you'll be fine. You should be grateful, Mister Weaselly! The work you're assisting with here today will not only protect children, it will further research  _and_ make us all a lot of money!"

Money!? That was something he could definitely get behind.

"Alright," He smiled, "Should I just go now then?"

"By all means, Mister Weaselly!" The old fellow grinned back at him, and Ron walked toward the forest trying not to snicker too loudly. The Professor's hat made his head look like a bellend.

As Ron walked into the forest between the gnarled, ancient trees sunlight became more scarce and a definite chill filled the air; a sort of clinging dampness that collected on him and made the day colder than it was.

A strange sense of familiarity stole over him as he walked as well, as though he recognized the place he was in even though he didn't. The way the ground rolled, humped over barely-buried roots did remind him of the Forbidden Forest back at school, and he suppressed a shiver. He was glad he would never be anywhere near that place again. Too many nightmares there, entirely too real.

He walked on, the forest got slowly colder and darker as he went, and Ron could feel his insides wind tighter and tighter. Over a tree-root hump in the ground, the forest floor gradually descended into a huge open bowl with a sandy floor. It was scrupulously clean. Ron thought that was a bit odd.

Then he saw the clouds.

Just next to him, against the base of one of the ancient black trees, was a soft cloud of whiteness that glittered with collected dew. It looked like a tired cloud had descended to rest against the tree for a quick kip. There was another one across the bowl between three or four trees at head height. It struck him as amusing, as he'd never seen clouds do that before.

The clouds got more and more frequent as his eyes tracked upward, and when the great, gnarled boles of the ancient trees gave way to the spread of branches and leaves, he saw that the entire canopy was one enormous white cloud.

A memory flashed across his bemusement like a knife across his skin. He'd seen that before. In fact, the whole thing - the dusty bowl of dirt, the ancient trees and lumpy ground... He'd been there before.

"Nonononononononono..." A steady litany sprung forth from his lips unbidden, and he backed up slowly to leave.

A gravelly, dusty,  _hungry_ voice echoed around the bowl and disappeared into the canopy cloud. "Do not let it escape!"

He knew that voice. Knew what made it.

He backed up the slope, back the way he came, but he didn't turn his eyes away from the canopy quickly enough. The cloud erupted with enormous brown, hairy monsters. Eight million legs, eight million eyes, round, hairy bodies the size of wardrobes boiled out of the cloud and exploded toward him.

"NONONONONONONO..." He screamed as he ran. He paid no attention to where his feet took him, he had no faculty with which to determine a course or decide on an action or do anything but run for his life.

It was sheer luck that he spun exactly one hundred-eighty degrees and ran back just the way he'd come. He saw the Professor ahead of him as the shadows gave way to more and more light. He beckoned Ron forward, directing him toward the exit. Ron ran past the man without slowing, and was nearly deafened by an enormous CLANG as he did. Ron cried harder and ran harder toward the castle he knew lay just over the hill beyond the lake, but something hit him in the back, and he felt the dead brown grass scrape along his face before he lost consciousness completely.

He woke back in his cell.

He was on the floor, the cool stone rough against his cheek. The drain in the floor was directly underneath him, and he stank of urine.

Dirty Ministry snakes had peed on him! Bastards! His arsecheeks were tender, too. What had they done to him?

Footsteps heralded the arrival of another person at his cell, and he sat up, gingerly. The footsteps belonged to an Auror, but at least she was a fairly pretty Auror -

Then he remembered.

"Dinnertime!" She said with a smile and slid a food-laden tray through a small hole in the glass at the floor. She tapped her wand on the wall and the hole disappeared and left him with food.

Ron was torn between the urge to grab the food and scarf it immediately, and the abject terror that gripped him.

"Nice work today, Bait. A haul like that every few days and you might be free by Christmas!" She grinned at him.

Only three of her words actually penetrated his brain.  _Every few days_ .

"Fuck that!" He told her in no uncertain terms. "I am  _NEVER_ doing that again!"

She laughed. It was a nice laugh, too. Warm, sparkling, and genuine.

"Ohhh..." She said when her mirth subsided, "This morning I was so pissed off I drew the short straw, but now I'm happy I did. You're an absolute riot, criminal! Talking like you have a choice. Priceless! I think I'm going to be sad when you finally clear the forest of those Acromantulae. When you go free I won't get to listen to your stupid or crush your grapes or hex you with abandon anymore!" She chuckled again.

"Fucking Slytherin, you're all the same." Ron muttered darkly.

She laughed again. "I was a Hufflepuff." She laughed some more. "I didn't believe them when they said you blame everything on Slytherins. Merlin's pants, you're hilarious!"

"Just fuck off." Ron pouted.

She laughed again. "You still don't get it, do you?"

"Get what?"

"This." She gestured around him at his cell. "You're a  _criminal_ , Bait. This is  _prison_ for you. You have no rights, you have no choice. If I wanted to make some money by charging people to hex you, I'd get rich, and it would be completely legal."

Ron backed up until he was against the wall, as far away from her as he could get. "Go 'way." He spat in a small voice.

"You should be thankful I take my duties seriously, Bait.  _Most_ of my job while I'm your minder is to keep other witches and wizards from killing you."

"Hah!" Ron scoffed. "Why would -"

She held a newspaper against the glass, then opened the food hole in the glass again and slid it through for him to read.

"You're the most hated person in Britain, Bait. A huge mob showed up at your brother's shop yesterday looking for your blood."

Ron read the front page and frowned as he felt his ears heat up. Fucking Newspaper arseholes. Must take orders from the Ministry snakes. Ron threw the paper against the glass after he finished the article and leaned against back, arms crossed, to scowl at her.

"I imagine there are some people that are angry with you over cursing their saviour, but the vast majority are howling for your head because of the lies you spread. I'd never seen witches so universally pissed off, not even at Lockhart after the truth about him came out. Good thing you're stuck in there until I come get you, hey?"

Ron just glowered at her.

She chuckled at his reaction. "Be happy it will take a few days to render all the ones you pulled this morning. You earned yourself a break until they're ready for more. See you Thursday, Bait." She turned on her heel and strode back the way she'd come with a grin on her face.

"Bitch." Ron sulked.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Ron woke up angry.

He'd fallen asleep angry too, but that was yesterday. It was far more important that he was angry in the moment rather than the past. He'd been  _so bored_ yesterday too, but that was less important than the fact that they didn't give him enough food. Yes it was enough to keep his belly from complaining until just before the next meal, but it wasn't as much  _as he wanted_ , and that was the crux of his anger. That, and Slimy Ministry Snake Bitch had promised that he would have a date with those... he shuddered... those  _things_ again that day. 

_Eightmillioneyesandlegsclackingfangssinkintohisflesh_

He shuddered against the flashing memories of that utter nightmare and pulled the covers up around his neck.

Never again. Never. No fucking way, no fucking how. Not Ever.

He ran through several ways to get Bitch's wand away from her, but when the door to his cell opened less than a minute later, he still had the covers up to his neck and a surprised expression on his face as he watched her scarlet stunbolt speed directly at his face.

He woke up outside again, but it was grey and cold and miserable. The grass he lay on had soaked through his clothing and pressed a chill through his skin, even through the stupidly garish vest that he'd worn into the... the last time. He groaned and rolled over to look up at the sky, but instead  _she_ was there. 

"Morning, Bait! Ready to get to work?" She asked with a cheery smile.

"Fuck you." Ron glared death at her, but it only seemed to make her laugh.

"Well, that's alright, I have one word for you that's guaranteed to get you ready to work." She began to swish her wand through the air in a complicated pattern.

"What? Sex? Food? Money?"

" _Compulso_ ." An electric blue bolt shot from her wand and hit him square in the chest. He was filled with the sudden need to bring a lot of Acromantulae back to her. "Merlin's pants you're stupid." She laughed again.

He hopped up off the ground and strode purposefully toward the nest of horrors while he screamed inside his mind. A certain fearful part of him watched everything around him as he walked, scanned the canopy, watched for movement between the trees. It was this part of him that noticed the ground was different as it sloped downward into the dustbowl of death. Unfortunately, the screaming, blubbering, crying for his Mummy part of his mind was far too loud for the bit of him in control of his body to hear the warning.

As a result, his first step down into the Nest was unexpectedly  _squishy_ , and that claimed his full, undivided attention. His trainer had sunk half its height downward beneath a blanket of freshly scattered leaves. He shifted his weight backward and tried to pick up his foot, but when he lifted his leg, white gooey strings clung to his trainer. Even when he jerked that leg backward and braced his foot on the ground, the sticky mess would not let go. 

"It's  _web_ !" the small, hyperactive part of his mind screamed at him. "They laid a trap  _for you_ !"

Reluctantly, he looked up.

They were halfway down the trees.

Low rumbles shook the ground around him, and he saw more peek over hillocks and over fallen trees while the rumbling increased. Thousands of hairy legs pounded into the dirt as they scrambled toward him from the sides as well.

He slipped his foot out of the trainer and ran for the exit with every ounce of frenzy his body could muster. The thumping rumble approached him from the sides as he ran, and he could see out of the corners of his vision that they gained ground. They slowly closed the distance between them, and he realized they were just plain faster than he was. He felt something hairy brush his calf muscle, and he flicked a glance behind him to see several of the larger ones  _leapt_ at him in turns as they tried to knock his legs.

His vision went wavy as he faced forward again and ran even harder as he cried. He didn't even notice the Professor as he ran, not until he was practically on top of the man. He felt a scrape down his calf muscle, a sharp, hot line of pain through the meat of it and he stumbled to the ground after a single bobbled step.

A horrendous CLANG sounded, and a hundred captive legs and fangs scrabbled to get at him, but they couldn't. There were so many of them that pushed against their unseen prison, that Ron could make out where the bars were even though he couldn't see them.

He scrambled backward on his hands and feet until another pair of hands caught him.

"Don't move." She commanded. "Drink this right now or you're going to die, you've been envenomated."

He couldn't see her through the tears, but he knew her voice. She probably wanted to keep him alive so she could make him do this again. He hesitated, unsure whether it would be better to die than face it again. The pain in his calf started to get worse and shoot upward through the rest of his leg, and that decided for him. He quaffed the bottle she pushed into his hand. It tasted of sweatsocks soaked in boil creme.

"Good work today, criminal." She said, and stunned him again.

He woke back in his cell.

He had a long white bandage wrapped around his left calf, and  _she_ sat in a comfortable chair just outside.

"The fuck do  _you_ want?" He sulked.

"I'm your  _minder_ , stupid. I'm doing my  _job_ . Any of the witches you've lied to could trip along here and slip you a killing curse."

Tears gathered in his eyes. It was all  _wrong_ . He was a  _Hero_ . Everyone was supposed to look up to him. He was supposed to have fun and get the girls and not have to worry about money ever, but nothing was at all how it was supposed to be. "Why do you hate me so much?"

She stared at him for a moment, then shook her head. "Fucking answers itself." She sighed, then looked at him. "What's my name?"

He frowned at her. "How the fuck should I know what your name is?"

She frowned back at him. "No, of course you wouldn't know my name. You didn't recognize my face either. How about my tits, would you recognize those? No? Maybe my pussy then, would you recognize that?"

"I'll give it a red-hot crack." He winked at her. Smooth with a capital S.

She snorted and stood up, then vanished the chair she'd been sitting in. "I can't wait until your Public Service is over, criminal. I'm going to follow you around just to see how you get yourself killed. See you Friday." She retreated out of sight down the hall.

He hoped they decided to feed him more now he was injured.

  
  


* * *

  
  


There was no flash, no lightshow, no sparking of magic energies. The runes around the stone doorframe simply activated and showed within the frame a green meadow rather than the other half of the workroom. Harry had seen it before, he'd been present when Gwen and Hermione had activated it the first time, and through all the safety testing since.

"It seems..." Luna said with her head cocked slightly to one side, "Anticlimactic."

"That's the best part!" Hermione beamed proudly. "No wasted energy at all."

Luna looked from the active portal to Hermione with a smile and burst out laughing.

"What?" Hermione frowned indignantly.

"I'm sorry Hermione," Luna giggled, "That was just such a  _you_ thing to say it made me laugh."

"She's got you there, partner." Gwen agreed. "Quintessential Hermioneism that was."

"Oh shut it, the both of you." Hermione grumped with a grin.

That just made them both laugh.

Harry stood behind Hermione and wrapped his arms around her and kissed the back of her head. "Well I like your devotion to efficiency, even if it goes underappreciated."

"Kissarse." Gwen grinned at him.

"It's a fantastic arse." Harry shot back.

I was a bit jealous of it in a bikini, I'll admit." Luna smiled sweetly.

"Can we stop discussing my arse please?" Hermione's cheeks threatened pink.

Harry pulled her backward into him by her hips slightly, and he was rewarded with both a small smile and a swat to the side of his thigh.

"Alright." Luna relented. "We'll save making you blush for Girl's Night. So, where is this we're looking at? Can I go through?"

Gwen chuckled and let the conversation turn, though the look she directed at Hermione said there would definitely be more blushing in her future. "You  _can_ go through, it should be safe enough, but I wouldn't recommend it. It's one-way still."

"You'd be stuck in Australia." Hermione agreed. "That's the meadow where we got married. We used it because we own it and we know nobody would be there, it's miles from anything."

"Hard to believe that was three months ago. Neville still has his piece of the cake in the stasis cabinet, you know. I think he's secretly keeping it as a souvenir."

"That's not a bad idea, actually." Harry brightened. We could have a glass stasis cabinet with a piece from every significant marriage, like yours and Neville's, and yours and Rynard's." He turned from Luna to Gwen with an enthusiastic grin.

Hermione patted his arms with fast, happy taps when Gwen flushed and cleared her throat.

"Well. We'll see." Gwen replied with a soft smile.

"He adores you." Luna agreed with a nod at Harry. "It's probably too soon, but the spark is there."

"Yes, I -" Gwen started, then stopped and blushed even harder.

"Mental note." Hermione grinned. "We're talking about  _that_ on Girl's Night too." Luna beamed back at her and heartily agreed.

Gwen cleared her throat and gestured toward the portal. "ANYway... Yes the portal works, but unless it connects to another portalframe, the journey is one way." She wrenched the conversation back on topic. "Though it's faster and FAR more comfortable than a Portkey. I suppose we could rig a reverse destination recall button or something, like a portkey that only recognizes the place it came from."

"Oh!" Hermione's eyes widened. "We could have the Return Key automatically bond itself to the portal as it went through, that way it would only be valid for one activation, and only return to its point of origin!"

"You could even have almost all the essential runework added to the backside of the frame so that the return key could be something small, something with only the recall rune on it. Something that would fit in a pocket." Luna added,

"Yes!" Hermione pointed at Luna, "Yes, that! You're brilliant, Luna."

Gwen's eyes lit up as she thought the additions through. "We could have a recall offered for rent at the portal for an additional charge, or sell permanent recalls for even more."

"We're thinking of a business model now?" Harry asked with an eyebrow raised at Gwen.

She shrugged. "I've been batting it around in the back of my mind. I mean, of course we'll have them installed in our homes, it's too bloody convenient not to, but... if we had offices in Diagon and Salem, for example, nobody would have to wait for days to schedule a Ministry Portkey, nobody would get the wrong Portkey and end up somewhere they didn't want to be, and nobody at the Ministry could just shut off your escape route."

"I have to admit I was thinking we could license it to the DMLE for Auror response." Harry said. "It isn't Apparation or Portkey, so nobody could Ward against it."

"If Auror reponse times were in the seconds, it could significantly reduce crime rates." Hermione muttered as she thought it through. "If we licensed it to every DMLE..."

"No reason why you couldn't do both those things," Luna said, "Licensing to the Ministry would give you the galleons needed to open offices and hire people."

"There would need to be protections." Harry and Hermione said simultaneously. Gwen and Luna laughed while Harry and Hermione shared a warm glance at each other.

"As well as protections, you'd need to find a way to target specific places. In the case of the public ones you could just offer set destinations, but the Auror ones would have to co-ordinate on the fly -"

"Oh!" Hermione exclaimed, "Yes! Coordinates! Muggles actually have a system for locating any spot on earth already, we could just have an operator there to input the right coordinates!"

"We could even demand they be muggleborn or something just to thumb our noses at the purebloods." Harry added with an evil smirk.

"It'll be another chunk of work to make it work with input coordinates..." Gwen paced back and forth as she thought about it, "Really, we could just slip that in as a destination variable after the Corollary Contraction Array... Have to adjust the Phase Arrays to ensure stability  _before_ the destination is set..."

“We could include protections built into the arrays themselves. Anyone who managed to peek would be lost for months looking for how to disarm them. We could work that all into the same package and leave the destination for last. It’ll take... maybe another year of work, but once we finish...” Hermione nodded and joined Gwen as they paced back and forth in front of the doorway to the green meadow.

“I like that!” Gwen agreed. “Yes, more work, but once we do finish, we could simply stamp what’s necessary on new units. We could set things up -”

“Oh!” Hermione exclaimed again. She had stopped pacing and stood in front of the portal as she turned to Harry, eyes wide.

“Another brainwiave?” Luna asked with a grin.

Hermione shook her head, and her expression said she waited for something. After a moment, her eyes squeezed shut and one hand went to her stomach as the other curled into a fist. “Oh!” She exclaimed again. “Fuck, I’m having a baby.”

“Yee!” Luna squealed delightedly.

“You _what_?!” Gwen paled.

“Luna, if you would please levitate my wife to the birthing pool? I need to go get Mum and Dad. I’ll be back as quickly as possible.” Harry moved brusquely toward the portal, and gripped Gwen by her shoulders. “Please look after her while I’m gone.” Gwen could see the rush of a hundred emotions blaze in his eyes, and her spine went rigid with the enormity of the trust he placed in her. She managed to nod, and then he was gone as he gathered Hermione in his arms. “You know where the potions are, you know what to do. I’ll be back with Mum and Dad and the Healer as soon as I can. I love you.”

“I love you.” She replied with a soft kiss. “I’ll try to wait for you, but...”

He chuckled and kissed her again, then hugged Luna and kissed her forehead. “Thanks Luna.” He whispered, then he was gone through the portal. Gwen watched him take two steps through the grassy meadow, then Disapparate.

Hermione rotated casually in the air into a reclined position as Luna waved her wand at her, and then floated along behind Luna as she walked toward the stairs out of the attic workroom.

“You’re really having a baby? Right now?” Gwen asked incredulously as she followed.

Hermione turned a smile on her. “Yes, really. I actually meant to tell you weeks ago, but always got distracted by the progress we were making. Sorry.”

“We’re going to be Aunties!” Luna grinned beatifically.

“You’ve been pregnant this whole time...” Gwen whispered, “Morgana’s tits! No wonder you let me pose as you at the wedding! _That’s_ why you couldn’t lie on your stomach at the spa! Stomach troubles!”

“Feeling like a bloated coOOOWH! Please hurry Luna. Sweet Merlin that hurts.”

Luna led Hermione and Gwen through the third floor corridors to a nondescript door next to the Master Bedroom. Hermione silently cast something at the door, and it swung inward to reveal a comfortable lounge with bookshelves, games, and a large open area with a plush rug. There was another door on the far side of the room, and Luna opened that as well. That room was a warm beige and lavender motif, and the smell of flowers and mint and parchment floated out of it. There was a large pool set into the floor of that room, and Gwen recognized the Jacuzzi effect from their times at the spa.

Hermione flicked her wand at a cabinet set into one wall, and two potion bottles floated out to her waiting hand. She quaffed both instantly.

“Aahh...” She breathed, as she clearly relaxed. “So much better. I love magic.” Hermione smiled and hugged Luna. “Thanks Luna.” Then she hugged Gwen. “Thanks Gwen. I’m just going to get undressed and relax in the pool, please send Harry and Mum in when they arrive?”

Luna pouted. “You mean I don’t get to watch?”

Hermione frowned. “I love you Luna, I truly do, but I’m not keen on you seeing me naked at the best of times, let alone when I look like I’ve eaten an entire whale and things are coming  _out of me_ . It’s bad enough my Mum is going to see it.”

She waved her wand over herself and her glamour dropped. Hermione wasn’t kidding, she was  _huge_ . Gwen’s back twinged just looking at her. 

“Alright, _fine_.” Luna rolled her eyes and made a huff, but she smiled back at Hermione and hugged her again. “We’re just outside if you need us.” 

“Thank you both, really. I couldn’t ask for better friends.” She grinned back.

  
  


* * *

  
  


"Even with so many people it's so peaceful." She looked up into his warm brown eyes, and saw her own happiness reflected back at her. "I'm so glad we decided to stay." She rested her head on his shoulder and marveled at the way the deep orange sunset relfected off the wet sand; the way it turned the white tips of crashing waves to peach.

"I agree." He smiled a contented little smile. "I love the way the sunset turns your highlights copper. I love the sound of the ocean. I love the way..." He trailed off, and he was lost in thought when she gazed at him again.

"You love the way?" She prodded softly.

He turned to look at her out of his reverie, and kissed her forehead. He didn't answer, he just smiled at her and held her to him a little tighter.

That meant he thought about something that couldn't be, and he didn't want to talk about it because it would needlessly upset one or both of them. That meant he probably thought about having another child.

She had to agree, though it stung her insides. She could imagine another frizzy-haired little girl running up and down the beach and splashing happily in the surf. It was a beautiful dream, and the fact that he didn't discuss it meant he didn't want to risk her own health to make it happen, and she loved him even more for it.

He stopped and turned to face her, his eyes brimming. "I love my life." He told her, and kissed her thoroughly.

She wrapped her arms around him and held him close, and told him through the kiss that she rather enjoyed her life as well. She ended the kiss when she thought he got the message, and pulled back to smile at him. He had gotten softer, rounder, he had more lines in his face and less hair than when they'd married, but he was still Malcolm. He was still the bright, handsome young man who'd imperceptibly become indispensable all those years ago.

She opened her mouth to tell him she would if she could, but no sound came out. He knew that already. Even without the discussions they'd already had on the subject, he knew. She closed her mouth again and told him with her eyes instead, but something dark and fast-moving caught both their attentions from the corners of their visions.

They turned to look at what it was, and saw something very odd. There was a man running on the beach, but that wasn't the odd part. He was dressed, head to toe. Oxfords, grey slacks, and a red button-down, and he ran flat out across the sand toward them. It was February, the middle of summer. It had to be thirty-five degrees out.

They watched him approach, then their grips on each other clenched at the same moment.

"Is that-" Malcolm began,

"Harry?" She finished. She saw that despite his athletics, none of the other people on the beach seemed to notice him at all. He had his wand in his hand, and flicked it at them as he approached.

"Sorry!" He shouted when he was within earshot, and the second he reached them, they were horribly  _squeezed_ , and stood in Harry and Hermione's living room. "It's time!" He panted, "She's in the... pool at... the manor!" 

He grabbed a handful of dust from the urn on the mantel and flicked his wand at the fireplace, where it burst to life with flame, then cast the fistful of powder into the flames. "Potter House, Dorset!" He shouted at the suddenly green flames.

Malcolm paused to hug Harry briefly, and she did the same. Her baby was having a baby! Her instant elation was tempered by the thought that she wanted another of her own and didn't feel old enough to be a grandmother. "Thank you Harry. See you there, son." She smiled at him, and took Malcolm's hand in front of the oversized fireplace. They nodded at each other, and stepped into the flames.

It was always disorienting to be shunted through so many different magical pathways, but despite the roiling in her stomach, she stepped out next to Malcolm into the Great Room at Potter Manor. Cassi waited patiently for them to get their bearings again, the absolute dear.

"Good Even- morning? Good morning Cassi. Lovely to see you again." She smiled at the elf.

"Good Morning, Missus Eleanor, Mister Malcolm. Mistress Hermione is waiting for you, Missus." Cassi began to walk at a brisk pace through the hallways and up two flights of stairs. They knew where the pool room was, Harry and Hermione had shown them, but she appreciated the lead from Cassi. Neither of them had been in the Manor enough to not get lost.

Luna and Gwen were already in the waiting room. Luna looked barely able to contain her excitement, and Gwen just looked half-stunned.

"Yay! Mummy Granger!" Luna hopped off her seat and rushed to hug her. She returned the hug with enthusiasm, happy that Hermione had finally made some real friends. Plus, Luna was just the sweetest girl. She would have loved to have had Luna around when Hermione was growing up.

"And Daddy Granger!" Luna hugged Malcolm as well, and practically bounced around the room afterward.

"I think she's expecting you, Missus Granger." Gwen told her with a deferential smile.

"It's Eleanor, Gwen. Though, I'm also rather fond of Mummy Granger." She winked at Luna before she hugged Gwen.

Gwen smiled back at her and flashed a look at Luna. "Thanks... Mummy Granger." She smiled and blushed slightly.

Malcolm shook Gwen's hand and immediately took up a worried pacing.

"Darling, don't pace the carpet bare. I'll be in and out and let you know." She told him.

He looked back at her with raised eyebrows, then down at the floor and nodded to her as he took a seat and bit his thumb while he bounced his left leg.

She had to smile. It was exactly the same thing before every exam when they'd been in University. She entered the pool room and closed the door behind her.

"Hermione? Honey are you here?"

"Mum! Wow that was quick. In the pool!" Hermione's voice answered.

She walked around the stone wall that faced the door and circled the pool. There were a myriad of plants growing from the stones in the wall, and a small waterfall that trickled down the rock face into the pool on the opposite side. Hermione floated in the pool on her back in a bikini, gently paddling about with her hands, and she had to suppress the urge to stare. She couldn't remember ever being that big when she was pregnant with Hermione, and she had been a large baby.

"Hi mum." Hermione smiled happily at her. "Bikini or one piece?"

"Are you sure I should -"

"Yes mum, it's fine. The pool has enchantments built in for relaxation, comfort, cleanliness, and health."

She smiled back at her. "In that case I'd love to give you a hug. One piece please dear."

Hermione smiled back and took her wand from behind her ear and waved it at her. Her clothes immediately shifted into a stylish one-piece bathing suit.

"How do you feel, honey?" She asked as she descended the steps into the pool with her daughter. It was only waist-deep. Something twinged inside her lower abdomen when she entered the water.

Hermione stood and hugged her, then lay back into the warm water. "I feel fine, mum. The contractions are still a minute or so apart. They've sped up amazingly since I've been in the pool."

"I thought I had caught you in between!" She goggled at how happy and relaxed her daughter was. At a minute apart she had been ready to tear Malcolm apart with her bare hands.

"The first couple of contractions hurt like a - they hurt a lot. Luna floated me here when Harry went to grab you. First thing I did was drink a pain potion, and an elasticity potion. I'm fine, Mum. I just hope Harry and Healer Oswalt get here soon or they're going to miss it."

"The pain potion took away all the pain?" She felt her eyebrows raise.

"Yes, Mum. That's its purpose." She smiled. "I can still feel everything, it just doesn't hurt."

"I want one of those nineteen years ago." She smiled down at Hermione and stroked her hair back from her forehead. "I suppose the elasticity potion makes you stretch better?"

"And prevents tissue rupture and bleeding. Keeps me safe while the baby arrives."

"Magic is wonderful. I'm so jealous now." She grinned. "I love the pool as well."

"Harry and Cassi and Sassi and Massi did a fantastic job. I'm so happy, Mum. I mean, I always knew I loved him, but then after we got married the first time it was like he just...woke up. He's the one who researched everything, from the pool method of birth to the enchantments in the pool to the best potions to use, the best Healers in Britian, everything. He attacked it with such joy, Mum. I was so afraid he'd wake out of his coma and see what I'd done and hate me... but he made all this just for me. For us."

She reached down and touched Hermione's distended belly gently. "Even your father can see how much he loves you, honey. You know how oblivious he can be."

Hermione barked a laugh and wiped her eyes. "I'm so happy to have you and Dad here as well, Mum. Thank you."

"There's nowhere else we would be, Hermione. We love you." She smiled and squeezed her daughter's shoulder. "I should go let your father know you're fine, I'll be back in a moment."

Hermione nodded and went back to paddling around contentedly.

  
  


* * *

  
  


The door to the pool room opened slightly and Mummy Granger stuck her head out and looked at Daddy Granger. He was on his feet in front of her before Luna could blink.

"How is she? What's going on?" He asked worriedly.

"You can relax, Malcolm. She's far better off than I was. She's had potions that ensure she's safe and pain-free. Honestly I think she's mostly bored. Relax, your baby is fine, you'll see her soon." She kissed her husband and went back into the pool room.

Daddy Granger pulled in a deep breath and sighed, but his forehead didn't get any smoother.

"They've had this all planned out since before the wedding in November, you know." Luna told him. "Hermione leaves nothing to chance, and she had to tell Harry that enough was enough, he obsessed about it so hard. You should've seen his face when he left here to get you, he could've worried the wings off a Crumple-horned Snorkack."

Daddy Granger nodded back at her with a smile. "I know, Luna. Thank you for the effort, but I'm not being logical right now. Hermione is my baby girl, and I'm worried, and that's all there is to it. Same as I imagine Xeno will be when it's your turn."

The thought of the smile a grandchild would put on her father's face put one on her own. She missed the bright spark in her father's eyes, though it had returned some since the war ended.

"Well then your logical side has nothing to worry about, and your illogical side is a great Dad." She beamed at him.

He laughed at that and smiled back at her. "Thank you Luna, I -" A loud crack sounded between her and Daddy Granger. Sassi let go of Neville's hand and popped quietly away again.

"Yay Nevvy!" She wrapped him in her arms before he'd had time to recognize where he was, but his arms tightened around her reflexively anyway. He was in his school robes.

"Luna!" He kissed the top of her head. "Gwen... Mister Granger? What's going on?"

"Hey Nev." Gwen waved.

"It's time, Nev. Through that door our Godchild is being born." Luna looked up at him with undisguised glee.

"Oh. Brilliant." Neville grinned. "I can't wait to see Harry's face. How is Hermione doing?"

"She's fine. She's had her prebirth potions and she's in the pool relaxing. We're just waiting on Harry to get here with Healer Oswalt. After that it should only be a few minutes." She smiled up at him.

"A few minutes?" Daddy Granger asked incredulously.

"Birthing Potion induces birth in a safe, controlled way, Mister G." Gwen answered. "Once Hermione drinks it, it'll be a few minutes for it to take effect, then she'll have the baby. It's better for the mother, and better for the Healer, so she can concentrate on one birth at a time. Better for any other mothers the Healer has to look after too."

"That's just..." He took a deep breath and let it out. "Eleanor was in labor with Hermione for three days. She almost died." He looked at the group of young people and smiled. "I love magic."

"Don't worry Granddad Granger, Hermione will be fine. I just can't wait to find out if the baby is magical or not. I hope so." Luna crushed Neville's ribs with anxiety.

"I would be surprised if the opposite weren't true." Gwen snorted. "Harry? and Hermione? In one body? I'll be surprised if the baby doesn't just Apparate out of her and start giving lectures on proper magic use."

Even Daddy Granger laughed at that. She had a point. Luna wiped the corners of her eyes and grinned at Gwen. "I'm so excited! I can't wait -" She was interrupted by another loud CRACK. A middle-aged witch in green Healer's robes with spikily-styled dark blonde hair stood in the room with them then, and she caught a glimpse of Harry as he sprinted through the door to the pool room.

"Oh. Hello everyone. Hermione's family and friends no doubt? This is a lovely room. Where is the mother to be?" The Healer asked pleasantly.

"Just through the door, Madam. Thank you for coming." Mister Granger supplied with a smile.

"Thank you." She opened the door Harry had disappeared through and gasped in surprise. "Oh, this is just wonderful!" She exclaimed as she closed the door behind her.

Daddy Granger took up pacing one end of the room to the other. Neville sat next to Luna as she crushed his hand and practically vibrated with anticipation. Gwen sat forward in her chair and attempted to do Arithmancy as she wrote formulae in the air in front of her, but clearly couldn't concentrate. Luna imagined a gaggle of frizzy-haired babies with bright green eyes that followed her around and yelled "Auntie Luna! Auntie Luna!" She looked up at Neville, and he was also clearly lost in his own imagination as a smile played with his face.

"Uncle Nev." She whispered to him and giggled.

His face split in a huge grin as he beamed at her. "I hope he or she likes plants. That would be brilliant."

"And flying!" Daddy Granger stopped pacing and looked at them with a smile. "I absolutely  _love_ flying."

"Oh really?" Gwen sat forward in her chair and smiled predatorially at Mister Granger. "With a few friends, we might have enough people for Quidditch."

"That sounds like a family tradition in the making." He smiled back.

"As long as you don't have children just to field a quidditch team, Gwen. That's not what they're for." Luna winked at her.

Gwen laughed. "No chance! I get the itch now and again, but professional Quidditch is behind me, thank you very much. As much as I'm looking forward to meeting Potter Junior, I'm fine waiting to meet Jones Junior for a while yet."

"How is Rynard?" Luna asked. "Haven't seen him since the wedding. Yes, we've all been busy, but I would have expected to see him at least once in four months."

Gwen sighed at that. "Complicated. I'm still happy, I think he's still happy, but... I also think he might be a little intimidated. You saw how he nearly fainted after the shenanigans at the wedding. He does love his work, but I also think he's hiding behind it some. I can't really blame him if I'm honest, I was intimidated at first too."

"Well, at least there's an easy fix for that." Luna said, "If he won't come to us, we will just have to go to him."

"You guys would do that for him? For us?" Gwen asked.

"Of course." Luna nodded.

"And now the poor man is doomed. Luna's got her sights on him, so he doesn't have a choice anymore." Neville grinned. "I speak from experience."

"Of  _course_ he has a choice!" Luna pouted indignantly, "But  _really_ . He's fine with making an uniformed choice about us and he has the temerity to call himself a researcher? He should turn in his knowledge seeker card immediately."

"Ouch! So  _that's_ what it looks like when Luna doesn't pull her punch." Gwen cast a wry look at her younger friend. "I think you may have just booted his derierre into gear with that. We'll see how long it takes him to get over his reluctance now."

"I'm back in town week after next. If he hasn't by then, let me know and we'll organize a visitation." Luna smiled sweetly back at Gwen.

Gwen laughed. "I can just see his face if we all barge into his lab at once. He'd throw such a wobbler!"

"All the more reason to join you next time you're here." Neville asserted. "He'll make his girlfriend happy, and preserve his lab. It's two benefits with one action."

Gwen smiled softly. "It's a bit odd to think of myself as a -" She was interrupted by the door to the pool room as it opened and Healer Oswalt stepped through with a huge smile on her face, followed by Mummy Granger as she wiped at her eyes. She went immediately to Daddy Granger and wrapped her arms around him.

"She's fine. They're all fine. Everything is wonderful, Malcolm." She said softly as she shamelessly used his shirt as a tissue. "Just wonderful."

"I didn't really need to be here at all, honestly." Healer Oswalt said happily, "Everything was easy and quick despite the unexpected complication."

"Unexpected complication?" Daddy Granger and Neville asked simultaneously.

The Healer's eyes just sparkled and she laughed softly.

Hermione floated through the door then in a rocking chair that hovered a foot off the floor. She held a bundle of cloth in front of her that showed a tiny pink head dusted with dark hair. She smiled with tears in her eyes as she saw everyone's attention solely on her.

"Everyone," She held the little bundle up to face them so they could all see, "This is our son, Darcy James Potter."

Harry stepped up behind Hermione, a second bundle of cloth in his arms. Tears made glistening tracks down his cheeks and he made no attempt to hide them.

"And this is our daughter," His voice cracked as he held the bundle up for them, "Irene Eleanor Potter."

Their friends and family surrounded them and congratulated them with hugs. Neville volunteered to show Healer Oswalt to the Apparation point, and Harry and Hermione called all the elves while he was out to introduce the new family members to them.

Harry still cried when Neville returned and smiled at the absolute joy Harry and Hermione radiated. Luna wrapped her arms around Neville as they stood together and basked in the beautiful warmth. Neither had imagined their friends could look quite so happy.

  
  


* * *

  
  


"Congratulations, Mister Weaselly!" The Professor clapped him on the back. "Here you are. Thank you for your assistance with this project, you've been invaluable!" The Professor handed him a sheet of parchment. "It's too bad you're not interested in continuing, you know. You've become rather famous in Acromantula-hunting circles."

"Get stuffed." Ron panted in reply.

The Professor laughed. "As you like it, Mister Weaselly." He strode off while Ron sweated and panted with his hands on his knees.

"Congratulations, Bait." The Bitch said casually, "I'll need to get you back to the Ministry so you and your freedom paper can be processed, but then you'll get your wand back and be free to go, most likely."

"Good. Can't wait to be shot of you." He spat.

She laughed. "I'm going to follow you anyway Bait, I already told you that. We have a bet on how long you survive on your own."

"Oh fuck off."

She laughed again. "Come on, criminal, let's get this over with." She put her hand on his shoulder, and then they were at the Ministry. She led him through the corridors to a desk outside a row of cells. Probably where his cell was.

"Hello, Mister Weasley! How unusual to see you conscious! Ah, got your walking papers I see!" The witch behind the desk smiled.

Ron nodded and handed her the parchment. She duplicated it, then stamped both copies. She gave the copy to him, then went into a back room and returned with a small box. She handed him the box. It had his name on it. She produced another piece of parchment and a quill.

"Just sign on the line at the bottom to say you received your belongings, and you're a free man, Mister Weasley."

Ron signed his name on the proper line, and the witch unlocked the box so he could take his wand, his galleons, and three chocolate frogs he'd forgotten about. He ate one immediately with a contented sigh.

True to her word, The Bitch followed him to the entrance of the Ministry where she took out her wand. The second he took one step outside the doors of the Ministry, time started counting up above her wand.

He glared at her. "Hey, that's Weasley!" A shrill voice called out. All up and down the street, people started to flock toward him. He turned around to go back into the Ministry, just in time to see The Bitch close and lock the glass doors, then lean on them as she watched.

Ron pulled his wand and held it at his side. He was hesitant to hex anyone in public with The Bitch watching, she'd undoubtedly just arrest him and chuck him back in that cell to be subjected to some other nightmare. Even so, panic rose in him as dozens of angry people all began to climb the steps to the doors of the Ministry where he was.

Then he spotted her. She was an exotic beauty, dark hair and caramel skin, dusky hazel eyes and full, plump lips that smiled at him over white teeth. Even better was the way her shirt stretched sideways over her chest and her skirt flared out over her hips. She reached him first as she jogged up the steps while he stared, mezmerized by the bounce of her shirt.

"I can get you out of here. Come with me." She said. Her accent was sultry, and spoke of delights that awaited him in her company.

"Alright, let's go!" He replied. It was nice that things had swung back in his favour again.

She pulled a broken toy truck from her purse and held it out to him. "It's a portkey, grab hold and don't let go." She said.

The crowd reached them as he took hold of the toy, and someone's foot connected with his happysacks. The mysterious beauty said something in a foreign language as he crumpled to the concrete, and they were suddenly yanked away and spun through space.

They landed somewhere hot and humid. Ron let go of the truck immediately and grabbed his abused jewels.

"You went all the way to England for  _that_ ?" A male voice asked. 

His rescuer  _tsked_ . " _That_ was Acromantula bait for  _four months_ . And still alive, obviously. We need that kind of talent, and it didn't cost anything except the Portkey."

Several low whistles sounded around him. He opened one eye and looked around. He seemed to be in a camp of some kind. There were some tents set up around a fire pit, and some enormous nets hung from trees.

"What you mean it didn't cost anything? What if he goes to the police?" Another voice asked. He couldn't see the speaker from where he was on the ground. He felt his wand pulled from his hand.

"Well, not only is he hated in his homeland - so they will never send anyone to look for him, but now he is just another poacher, here by illegal Portkey to poach a protected species. Right now, he belongs to me."

There were worse things, he supposed.

"Okay. That's why you're the brains, I guess." The other voice conceded respectfully. "Alright! Get some sleep you dogs, we hunt at dusk!"

His rescuer crouched next to him then. "You can try to run if you like. There are hundreds of miles of empty jungle in every direction. Hundreds of miles of jungle predators, carnivorous plants, traps set by ambush predators, you get the picture. If you're smart, you'll pick a quiet spot and get some sleep if you can. You have a busy night ahead of you."

"Alright sweets. Bit odd for a date, but I'm game. You're worth it." Ron let go of his poor crushed tenders and smacked her behind. It was nice and firm.

She looked stunned for a second, and then burst into laughter as she stood up. "You're everything the stories say." She walked away, and he heard a voice growl to his other side. He turned just in time to catch sight of the fist that then bid him goodnight.

He woke some time later, utterly uncomfortable. There was a throbbing happening on his face, and the sweltering, stifling, wet heat had only abated half a degree or so with the departure of the sun. Some kind of nasty smell emanated from somewhere nearby.

"Time to work, Bait." The growly voice told him. Ron grumbled sullenly and swore to himself they'd see what was what when he had his wand back. Bloody hamfisted monkey. He rose anyway, and after months of being prodded and tortured almost daily by The Bitch, he angrily assumed his place forward of the group.

They had nets all set up in a funnel pattern, no big metal cage at all, and nothing was Disillusioned. Ron let a small grin stretch his lips. As soon as he brought a wave of horror back to them, these amateurs were as good as dead. He would grab his wand and hex his way out of the stupid jungle straight away.

"First off, I'm not taking a fucking step until I get a bug-repelling charm. Second, you stupid bastards are all dead. You don't even have a cage." He winked at the woman who'd brought him while he ogled her ample bosom. "Never you fear, sweets. I'll look after you."

She snorted back at him while her lip curled in disgust at his obvious leering. "We aren't hunting Acromantula, pendejo. We are after  _real_ prey. We hunt Titanomantula. They are solitary. The young ones only come above ground once they're old enough to mate. Guess what season it is, Bait?"

Ron frowned. "What? Summer? Feels like summer. Where the fuck are we anyway?"

The woman slapped her own forehead with the hell of her hand. He liked what it did to her shirt. "It's  _mating_ season, pendejo. The Titanos are out looking for a good time. All we need is for you to find one and... keep it busy." She took her wand out of its holster on her thigh and waved it at him. Instantly the mosquitos ignored him, and he relaxed.

"Off you go, Bait." The growly bastard stared hatred at him and practically ground his teeth while he talked. Wanker. Ron flipped him two fingers and a grin in true heroic style as he set out into the jungle.

The farther he went away from camp, the stranger the noises he heard around him. He saw a brightly-coloured centipede as long as his arm catch and behead a small bird and then feed on its corpse. He saw plants shaped like hungry mouths shoot long tongues at insects and drag them in to be chewed and digested. At one point a leopard crossed into his path. Ron stopped and tried desperately not to wee himself while the huge cat approached - only to be skewered and dragged into a leafy stomach by some kind of carnivorous vine pit.

He went nowhere near that.

It took him all of twenty minutes to forget why he tiptoed quietly through the jungle. He got bored and imagined what he'd do to that arsewipe who'd punched him when he got his wand back. He made stylish flourishes as he danced around imagined return spellfire. His spells landed unerringly, and naturally the luscious beauty would swoon and surrender herself to his sheer wizardliness when he was finished.

Behind him, just out of sight - which wasn't that far in the jungle - he heard muffled cries and saw flashes of light from spellfire, but it only lasted a couple of seconds.

"Maybe Honey got tired of Punchy and hexed his stupid arse." He muttered, and went back to looking for Titan... Titan... something. He didn't notice that the jungle went quieter and quieter the more he walked. He didn't notice the lack of birds or mammals or any other life.

He  _did_ notice when he entered a clearing and felt the warm sun beating down on him. For some reason it dispelled the dank, humid heat and just made him warm. 

"Ah, that's bloody lovely." He sighed.

He  _also_ noticed the small house in the center of the clearing. It was a cozy cottage, no vines or overgrowth anywhere, and a thin stream of smoke wisped from the chimneytop. 

Smoke meant fire. Fire meant food.

His poor neglected stomach immediately took the reins and walked him up to the door of the cottage. He raised his hand to knock, but the door opened to reveal the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. She could have been Daphne Greengrass's older sister - she was blonde, with full, luscious lips he could immediately imagine wrapped around his cock. She was slim, but the apron she wore revealed the size of her huge, gravity-defying rack. He could even see the skin of those delectable melons out the sides of the apron. It was tied around her waist, and revealed her perfect, grippable hipbones. In short, she was the perfect woman.

"You're finally here." She breathed huskily as her bosom heaved.

"If I'd known you were here, I'd have been here ages ago. Merlin's balls you're hot."

She smiled at him and ran her hand down his chest. "So sweet. Come in, dinner's just finished." She turned and went back to the fireplace, and he  _definitely_ noticed that the apron was the  _only_ thing she wore.

"Bloody perfect." He whispered, and closed the door behind him.

She served him a bowl of hearty stew, and it was so delicious he had two more. When he was done, when his poor neglected tummy was full and content, he leaned back and patted it. "That was bloody delicious, babe. Is it time for dessert yet?" He raised his eyebrows twice and looked her up and down. Birds loved that.

She stood and pulled the strings of her apron slowly while she smiled hungrily at him. First the one at her waist, then the one at her neck, and the apron dropped to the floor.

She was absolutely perfect.

He stepped into her and pressed himself against her as he grabbed her taut arse with both hands.

"My Hero." She sighed and kisssed him with those soft, full lips, and ground herself against his happywand, which naturally came to attention. She purred as she stroked it, and her hands went to his belt and his pants went to the floor. His hands caressed those fantastic mounds, and as his mouth closed around a pert nipple, Ron dissolved into a puddle of ecstacy. Every desire she fulfilled. Every naughty thought, every fantasy he'd ever had she indulged.

She was perfect, and she belonged to him now.

After hours and hours of the most unbelievable sex he'd ever had, he finally fell asleep between those perfect breasts.

He woke after a long, restful sleep, and felt better than he had in ages. He stretched... or tried to. He was surrounded in warm softness up to his chin, but whatever it was didn't let him move more than an inch or so in any dimension. He opened his eyes, and discovered he wasn't in bed anymore. He wasn't in a cozy cottage, either. He was inside a dark, humid bowl made of something placed between the trees.

His warm, soft covering was stuck to one enormous tree, and he could hear something rustling around in its branches above him. His head wasn't covered, so he craned his neck backward to try to see what it was but it was too far up, hidden by the branches and leaves.

"Babe? Oi, sugartits!"

"Be right down, lover!" Her reply came from above him in the tree, so he relaxed, thankful it was only her and not some horrifying jungle monster. He heard her climb down the side of the tree a few minutes later, but he couldn't see her until she walked around in front of him.

Only it wasn't her.

A hard, black shell scuttled into view on the eight sleek, pointed legs that carried it - but where the eight eyes and horrid clacking mandibles should have been, there was instead more smooth shell that grew upward into a female torso. It wasn't covered in skin exactly, but it wasn't exactly shell either.

It was definitely her though, he'd recognize those perfect tits anywhere. The head above them, however, was an utter horroshow. Bulbous and dotted all the way around with bright red eyes. Noseless, and the jaw distended when she spoke to reveal folded-in fangs and rectractable mandibles. Ron shivered and did his best not to wee himself.

It had two arms, tipped with five-clawed hands, and each claw was a tiny replica of one of the legs. It nuzzled its terrifying head under his jaw as he fought to stop from screaming, and one of those claws fondled his happywand through his covering.

"You were incredible, my love. It was everything I knew it could be." It told him. It was her voice too, but there was a grating sound in the background of it that hadn't been there before - as though the fangs and mandibles rubbed on each other as it spoke. "I'm  _so_ happy I tricked those idiots into 'recruiting' you. I just knew I had to have you when I heard about you dominating those horrid Acros, and I was right. You made all that effort worthwhile." It sighed contentedly. Ron closed his eyes and concentrated on not vomiting.

"I'm so glad we get to spend these last moments together, love. You've made me so happy, so fulfilled."

"Yeah, great." Ron squeaked, "Wot yer mean last moments?"

It chuckled, and the sound drove icy spikes up his spine. "My purpose is fulfilled, stud. The last of my strength went into the defense spells for our babies. I only have a moment left."

He did his best to not let the flood of relief show on his face.

The huge horrid spider body pressed itself into him as it settled to the ground, and trapped him against the tree even more than just the soft covering on him did. It fondled his bits for a while, then sighed contentedly again... and then didn't move. The claw fell away from his privates, and the whole thing went completely  _still_ .

Several long minutes passed. Ron tried to wiggle away from it, but his covering prevented any significant movement. The might-as-well-be-stone body of the thing trapped him quite effectively as well.

"Get off!" He yelled finally. The thing gave no indication it had heard him at all.

Night fell, but the sounds of the jungle never entered his space, no predators came, no insects annoyed him. He slipped in and out of sleep as parts of him went numb and he was forced to move. Light blossomed again in the canopy and he realized that the enormous, horrid spider thing on top of him was probably dead. He felt a great joy at that, but at the same time, it was still on top of him and still disgusting. His stomach rumbled incessantly, and his mouth was dry. He was uncomfortable and completely fed up with fucking arseholes making him deal with fucking  _spiders_ . 

Fucking horrid monsters!

His life had been nothing but fucking horrid monsters ever since Harry had married that bossy, stuck up bint. It had to be their fault. Somehow. He was going to hex both of them so fucking hard they'd  _beg_ him to be their friend again.

His hunger and thirst escalated as the warmth of the day filtered through the treetops, and Ron cursed his false ex-friends in a near-constant stream as his discomfort grew. Mid-morning, he was distracted from his hatred when he became aware of a new sound above him in the tree. It was like a small, steady vibration that grew into a low hum.

He kept his head tilted back as far as he could to look up the tree, and it had the added bonus that he didn't have to look at the horrifying grotesque that pinned him in place. After a few minutes , as the humming noise slowly grew in volume, a strange sort of copper-coloured ooze crept out of the top of the tree he was pressed against. It moved slowly but steadily downward in a wave toward him. It wasn't until the tide was only a few feet above him that he could see what it was. Thousands of tiny humanoids the size of a sandwich crept toward him. Each of them had four arms and four legs, each tiny arm and leg tipped with tiny sharp-looking black claws.

Every last one of them sported a head of bright red hair and eight blue eyes.


	9. Epilogue

  
  


"Alright, you can have ONE biscuit each. We're leaving for Auntie Luna and Uncle Nev's shortly."

"Yes, Mum." Darcy's face showed how disappointed he was with the verdict.

"Thanks Mum." Irene hid her disappointment much better... and was far more likely to ignore Hermione's directive in favor of however many biscuits she could get, despite the fact she knew exactly what would happen later. Neither child had been permitted any ignorance when it came to the rules.

"Go on, then." Hermione smiled to herself as they scurried away to the kitchens. Harry's arms encircled her distended belly and she felt the bristle of his beard behind her ear as he kissed her.

"Happy Christmas, love." He rumbled softly.

She reached up to scritch his beard and turned to kiss him. "Mmm... better now. Good job you're so bloody fit, makes this almost bearable."

Harry laughed and kissed her cheek and neck. "I'll remember that the next time you fancy another."

She elbowed him in the chest with a mock pout. "I swear this one is going to come out on a broom the way it wriggles."

"I'll put a net up around the pool and catch her before she flies off then." He chuckled, "I've packed everything, we're ready to go when you want." The baby shifted then, and Harry felt multiple tiny impacts under his hands.

"Oof." Hermione sighed and put her hands over his. "At least it's only another couple of months."

"Sorry love. I'll try to think calm library thoughts for the next one."

"Next one!" You're bloody lucky you got this one, presumptuous git."

Harry chuckled and shifted around in front of her to rest his forehead on hers. "I'm bloody lucky to have you at all love. Don't think I don't know it." He kissed her deeply to illustrate his point, and made her toes tingle. "I wouldn't be here without you."

"Stop interrupting my grump with your wonderful husbanding. I'm pregnant, I'm allowed to grump. It says so in the manual."

He just smiled happily at her. "You  _wrote_ that manual. Besides, grump all you like, hon. You'll never make me anything but happy."

She smiled at him then, her mock grump fully evaporated. "Alright, I suppose we should go then."

"Reluctant?"

She sighed. "Luna's a fantastic cook and I already eat like an Erumpent. I just don't want to look like -"

"So just nibble. I'll ask for a plate or two to bring home and you can eat happily while I distract the kids. Well - tuck them in is more likely."

"I love you." She feasted on his lips briefly, then assumed her 'action' face as she turned toward the kitchen. "Children! Come along, darlings, we're leaving now!"

Darcy and Irene ran full-tilt into the Great Room a few seconds later. Irene won the race and immediately burst into song. "Wee aaare the Chaaampions..." as she jumped around with her arms in the air.

Darcy glowered at her and hugged Hermione's belly. "Don't worry, when you get here we'll team up on her and win." He said softly into her navel.

Hermione hugged him back. "Remember that your sister isn't likely to have longer legs than you for very long, Darcy. Girls mature differently than boys. When I met your father I was taller than him, you know."

"Really?!" His little face lit up with wonder.

Harry picked Darcy up and set him on his hip. "Really. Taller  _and_ smarter than me by a mile. I trust you listened to your Mum and only had one biscuit?"

Darcy nodded with a smile. Irene busied herself looking anywhere but at Harry.

Harry kissed the side of Darcy's head and set him down again. "Good, you know the rules are -"

"The rules. They exist for a reason. Punishments for breaking the rules are to teach us not to break the rules." Darcy finished.

"Good lad." Harry smiled at him and ruffled his hair. "Anything you want to share, Irene?" Harry turned his deep green gaze on his fidgeting daughter. He slipped his hand into Hermione's while they waited for Irene to speak. Her little face went from cunning success through suspicion and worry, and finally to debate and then resolve as she worked out that her parents somehow knew she'd not obeyed her mother.

She turned to face them with her eyes on the floor, her hands behind her. "I took two biscuits." She admitted in a tiny voice.

"We're disappointed you disobeyed." Harry told her. "You know the rules exist for your own good, and I'm particularly upset you didn't listen to your mother. She deserves more respect than that." Harry squatted in front of her. "In this particular case, can you think of a reason why your mother might have told you only one?"

"Because too much sugar isn't good for us?" It was the usual answer.

"That's true, but in this particular case there's more to it. Where are we going right now?"

"Auntie Luna and Uncle Nev's."

"And what is today? Why are we going?"

"It's Christmas!" Her little face lit with excitement.

"Exactly. That means your Auntie Luna has probably spent a goodly amount of time cooking all kinds of food and treats, doesn't it?"

She nodded her head. "Auntie Luna always has lots of yummy things."

"Precisely." Harry agreed, "Which she made just for you, right? So if you made food for someone and they didn't eat it because they'd filled up on biscuits before they arrived, how would you feel?"

"Oh!" Her eyes widened as she understood. "Bad. Like they didn't want to eat what I made for them."

"Right. And we love Auntie Luna and don't want to make her feel bad, do we?"

She shook her head vehemently. "I'm sorry, Daddy."

"I'm not Auntie Luna, am I?" Harry enfolded her in a hug.

"No." She hugged him fiercely in return. "I should 'pologize to Auntie Luna."

"Right. I'm proud of you for owning up to what you did, Irene. Lying about it only -"

"Makes it worse, I know Daddy."

"Good girl. And trust that when your mother tells you to do something or  _not_ do something, that it's because she understands things you don't. You need to respect and obey your Mum. We only have your best interests in mind because we love you sweetheart, even when it doesn't seem that way." He kissed her crown and let her go.

She went immediately to wrap her arms around Hermione's tummy. "I'm sorry, Mummy."

"Apology accepted, sweetheart." Hermione kissed her daughter's forehead. "We're not your jailers, Irene. We won't ask you to do something or tell you No for no reason. It's alright to ask why, unless there isn't time to explain and then we'll explain later."

Harry knelt on one knee and pulled Darcy into a family hug, with one arm around Hermione's waist and the other around the twins.

"Alright, are you ready to go?" Hermione asked the twins as they hugged her stomach.

"Actually, just before..." Harry addressed the kids in his Dad Voice, "Keep in mind Violet and Summer are younger than you two and can't play as hard as you both do, alright? Go easy on them and place nice, please. Understood?"

They both nodded in unison.

"Yes, Dad." Darcy said.

"Yes, Dad." Irene said.

"Good. Off to the Portal Room then." He shooed them on, and they both ran to the stairs and down.

Hermione pulled his face into hers and snogged him tenderly. "I love you so much, Harry." She told him as she wiped the corners of her eyes. Harry kissed her once again and held her close.

"No more than I love you, hon. You and the kids are my life, and I love my life." He smiled at her and slipped his hand into hers.

"Told you you'd be a great father." She smiled back at him and they began the descent into the sub-basement where the Portal Room was located.

"I'm thrilled you think so, considering." He looked at her bulging stomach pointedly.

She laughed and rested her head on his shoulder.

Darcy and Irene waited patiently outside the door to the Portal Room when they arrived, as neither child could open the door. Harry put his hand on it and told it to open while he pushed a tiny tendril of his magic at it. It recognized his authority and obediently opened.

"You have your Recalls?" Hermione asked them.

Darcy and Irene both touched their shirts and the amulets they wore beneath. "Yes, Mum." They replied.

Harry cleared the coordinates from the last connection and dialed Nev and Luna's ranch from among their Frequent Destinations list. The runes around the doorframe in the middle of the room lit up briefly and then rolling grass hills dotted with copses of trees appeared inside the doorframe.

Hermione held Darcy's hand as they went through, and Harry held Irene's. Once the bright warmth of the morning fell on them, they turned toward the house a few dozen feet behind them. Off to the left was a huge fenceless pasture meadow where several families of exceptionally graceful winged unicorn-like creatures frolicked and chewed on wildflowers.

To the right of the stone ranchhouse was a block of greenhouses, five of them side by side, each of them easily sixty feet long and thirty wide. Snow drifted from ceiling to floor inside one of them.

The heavy oak front door opened, and Neville stood in the doorway. "Welcome back! Come on in, Luna's just set out some still-warm fairycakes, and Vi is desperate to reduce the number of presents under the tree to zero."

Harry and Hermione both laughed while Darcy and Irene both slammed into Neville's thighs and hugged him tightly as they were able.

"Happy Christmas Uncle Nev!" They both shouted in unison.

Neville ruffled both heads and leaned down to hug them back. "Happy Christmas, kids. Go on in, Luna and Vi can't wait to see you."

Darcy and Irene detached from him and ran into the house, screaming "HAPPY CHRISTMAS AUNTIE LUNAAAAA!"

Neville laughed as he watched them, and turned back to Harry and Hermione. "That never gets old."

Hermione had to stretch onto her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "Happy Christmas, Nev." Neville wrapped her in a gentle hug and let her go as she followed the kids inside, and returned Harry's combination handshake and shoulder-slap.

"Good to see you again mate." Harry grinned. "Another new greenhouse since Hallowe'en."

Neville laughed. "It wasn't my fault this time! The Snorkacks... Luna wanted something special for their diet, so we've  _both_ been attempting to hybridize their favourite foods." He followed Harry into the house where the smell of baked goods and pine and peppermint wafted generously, and the sound of children's laughter rang.

"Oh? How is that going?" Harry asked, "I notice they're a lot closer to the house than they used to be."

Neville shot him a proud smile. "Pretty well. I have a few more things I want to try, but Luna's thrilled with the results so far. Butterbeer?"

"Please." Harry replied. "Congrats then, I've no doubt they'll be dressing in Santa outfits and passing out gifts next year."

Neville returned from the kitchen and handed Harry a Butterbeer with a chuckle. "That'll make Xeno unhappy then, he  _loves_ that. I'd be surprised if he doesn't sho-"

"HO HO HO!" a booming voice sounded from the stairs. Xenophilius Lovegood tromped down the stairs in a Santa suit, complete with foam belly. There were also small imitation Snorkack wings on his back and a horn jutted through the front of his red cap. The beard looked real.

"GRUNCLE XENO! Irene and Darcy squealed and ran to hug him.

His bright blue eyes sparkled with life as he returned their hugs. "Happy Christmas! Have you been good during the year, my dears?"

"I think so!" Darcy grinned.

"Mostly..." Irene hugged Xeno tightly again and then crossed the room to where Luna spoke quietly with her mother. "Auntie Luna..." She waited patiently until she had Luna's attention.

"Yes, Irene?" She smiled lovingly down at the girl.

"I'm sorry. I had two biscuits before we came instead of just one and I don't want to make you sad when I'm full so I'm sorry." She delivered her apology while looking at Luna's feet.

Luna shot a quick warm glance to Hermione before she knelt in front of Irene. "Thank you for your apology, Irene. I'm proud of you, it's not easy to apologize, is it?" She smiled.

Irene shook her head while her bottom lip stuck out.

Luna wrapped the girl in a hug and whispered "That's how you know it's the right thing to do." She pressed a kiss to her cheek and took out her wand as she stood. She flicked her wand at Irene, and a soft red conical hat appeared on her head. "For your punishment, you'll have to help Daddy hand out presents this year." She winked at Irene, whose face slowly grew into a huge grin.

She hugged Luna's distended waist. "Thanks Auntie Luna! You're the Best!" She squealed delightedly, followed by a whispered "Your Mum is the best!" into her navel.

"Off you go then, darling. You'll have plenty to do when Auntie Gwen and Uncle - Oh, nevermind, there they are." A soft chime alerted the house to another arrival. Harry took the opportunity to sneak to the tree and unload the shrunken trunk he had in his pocket.

Neville crossed back to the door before the chime fully faded and opened the door, only to be hit with an uncle-seeking missile.

"UNCA NEV!" Summer attached herself to his leg briefly before he picked her up and carried her.

"Happy Christmas, Summer!" He grinned at the four-year old.

"Happy kissmas!" she squealed and smooched his cheek. She wiggled to get down then, so he let her down and she bolted toward the other children as Rynard and Gwen arrived at the door.

"Happy Christmas, Nev." Gwen said as she hugged him.

"Happy Christmas!" Nev returned the hug, and then patted her bulging stomach. "You guys have great timing!"

Neville let go of her to shake Rynard's hand, and Gwen looked over to where Luna and Hermione smiled at her.

"No way!  _Both_ of you too?!" She laughed out loud and crossed the livingroom to hug her two best friends.

"See,  _this_ is what happens when we don't see each other enough and spend too much time with our husbands." Luna laughed as she stroked her own rounded midsection.

Gwen laughed again. "If only that were true. Most of the time we're too busy to even see each other much, with research, symposia, and business meetings all the time. Rynnie's been a champion looking after Summer most of the time." She looked back at where the three husbands talked and laughed and clinked butterbeer bottles together.

"How is the business?" Luna asked.

"Gaining ground, honestly." Gwen replied, "After the Iron Lady here denied the British Ministry public access, they're practically begging."

"Honestly! Bunch of jumped up self-important prigs." Hermione snorted. "Obviously because we're women and not Purebloods we couldn't possibly be trusted to run something as integral and useful as  _our own company_ . So now they're on bended knee, cap in hand, and they can stay that way and stew in their own stupidity and backward nonsense. JoPo has offices in every major magical city in the world as of August this year. They need us, but we don't need them."

"Exactly!" Gwen smiled at her business partner. "We released a formal statement to the public last month to let everyone know exactly why Britian is denied JoPo service. We'll see what happens."

"Devious." Luna's eyes sparkled. "I like it. Neither Nev or I miss dealing with the British Ministry at all. There are only around seven thousand magicals here in Uraguay, so the Ministry here is more like a clubhouse. Still full of nepotism and corruption, but thankfully none of the elitist nonsense."

"That's one of the reasons we spend most of our free time in Australia." Hermione agreed. "Well, that and my parents of course."

"How are they? I miss your Mum taking the piss out of you." Gwen laughed.

Hermione snorted. "I don't! She's too bloody good at it. It's going to be a bit weird for the twins when they're older, knowing they're older than their aunt and uncle."

"Your Mum had another?" Gwen boggled.

"She did. Unplanned, but they're both over the moon. Even I have to admit my baby siblings are adorable."

"Both magical." Luna bounced lightly on her toes. "We already have an expedition to the Outback planned for the coming year, we're taking a week to visit during."

"Hopefully long after April, you're going to be a little busy in April." Hermione patted Luna's stomach.

"Same to you. February is coming fast." Luna grinned and patted Hermione's stomach.

"Oh please." Hermione rolled her eyes. "As though I haven't had my leave planned since we found out."

Luna laughed at that. "Probably with colour-coded calendars and lists of things to do."

Hermione looked proud, even though her cheeks tinged pink. "Absolutely."

"Mum! This one's for you from Auntie Gwen!" Irene shoved a brightly-wrapped box into her hands and sprinted back toward the tree.

"I guess it's presents time then." She smiled as she watched her daughter's frenzied antics.

Gwen sighed and wiped the corners of her eyes. "I missed you both." She said, "I missed this."

Luna and Hermione both smiled and wrapped their arms around Gwen and each other. "We'll have to stop waiting so long to visit together." Hermione said, "We can certainly afford to delegate some responsibilities and get out of the board room more often now."

"I'd like that." Luna grinned. "Violet misses Summer and the twins too."

Gwen nodded. "Settled then."

Xeno the Snorkanta passed gifts to Zippy the Hyper-Helper Elf, and before long everyone was embroiled in the unwrapping of gifts and the flurry of discarded paper and bows. The children, being children, were more interested in unwrapping gifts than seeing who they were from or actually enjoying the gifts. After a few firm reminders, they calmed down some and remembered to thank the sender.

"Thanks, you two!" Neville said as he held up a small cube the size of a salt shaker. It looked to be made of some kind of firm rubber.

"Doesn't look like much, does it?" Hermione grinned at Nev. "Mister cleverclocks here designed that two years ago, and we've been working in our spare time to coax it into reality." She smiled at Harry and squeezed the inside of his knee where her hand rested. "It's a specialized, tiny version of the portal, and serves as a transmitter/receiver for wireless internet. Keep that with you, and wherever you are you have wi-fi."

"You didn't tell me about this, you sneaky minx!" Gwen gasped as she held up the ones gifted to her and Rynard.

"How does it work?!" Rynard sat forward on the sofa, his eyes alive with curiosity.

Harry laughed. "That'll have to wait until next week, Ryn. It kind of needs the huge-sized prototype to explain. Come a bit early for New Year's and I'll show you."

"That's just brilliant." Neville said and set both of theirs on the shelf in front of their television.

"We thought it would be advantageous since it's more reliable than phone service, and you can talk to each other - and us - wherever you are in the world, and wouldn't need to wait to upload photos or research or what have you." Harry explained, "Now none of us have any excuse for not being in touch." He grinned.

"And yes, there are plans to manufacture and distribute through the company. We figure it should increase our stock value by quite a bit." Hermione winked at Gwen.

"I'll say..." Gwen quietly calculated things in her head. "Just in the States alone... Merlin's moneybags!"

"And it should put the final nail in the Britsh Ministry coffin. With every other Ministry in Europe able to put Aurors on-scene in less than a minute, they're already desperate. Add information capability to that, and I expect to be able to name our own terms." Hermione's grin was completely feral.

"Gwen's right, you get a steely glint in your eye when you talk about the British Ministry." Rynard grinned.

Hermione sat up straighter and straightened her blouse primly. "After all the... excrement... we went through, and having them condescend to us  _lowly females_ when we started, I'm inclined to twist the knife perhaps more than is beneficial. They want to turn themselves into the magical backwater of the world, that's their choice. If they decide they need to join the rest of the world and the twenty-first century, I'm going to bend them over a barrel for it. We owe them that much." She looked to her husband fiercely as she twined her fingers with his.

"Hear hear!" Neville agreed heartily. "Spank them over your knee like the greedy little trolls they are."

Violet, Irene, and Darcy all stopped what they were doing and held their bottoms. Summer was too engrossed with a puzzle.

"Spankings?" Darcy asked with a small voice.

Harry immediately leaned forward on the sofa and smiled at his children. "Not for you, kiddos." Harry held up Hermione's hand, "Mummy is going to spank the government because they've been bad. You're all perfectly fine." He grinned.

"Oh good." Irene and Darcy both sighed and smiled back, then went back to tickling Gruncle Xeno.

Violet ran forward and crushed herself to Hermione's knees. "Love you Auntie Hemmine." She gazed up at her with big pale blue eyes.

"Aww." Hermione shot a glance at Harry and let go of him to pull Violet into her lap. "I love you too, Violet, you wonderful girl." She kissed the side of Violet's head. "Are you having a Happy Christmas?"

"Yes!" Violet grinned, "I miss you and Unca Harry and Reeny and Darcy. I like prezzies too. Christmas is fun!"

Hermione laughed. "I couldn't agree with you more, sweetheart. In fact, I think I see one over there by your Granddad with your name on it."

"Really? Where?!" Violet squeezed Hermione's neck and then scrambled down from her lap to go look.

Harry leaned over and kissed her neck while he rumbled a low, contented sound. She sighed in return and leaned against him to watch the children finish their frenzy of unwrapping.

Neville manoeuvered himself behind Luna and she lay back against him while he absently rubbed the sides of her stomach as they watched the children. Gwen grinned broadly from her perch on the couch next to Rynard with their arms around each other's shoulders. Xeno sat cross-legged on the floor with Violet in his lap while she unwrapped gifts. Her tongue protruded from her lips as she bit on it while concentrating. Neither Harry nor Hermione had ever seen Xeno look happier.

Once the children had finished and went back to happily playing together with their new toys, Luna and Neville set lunch out buffet-style. Harry gladly dealt with Hermione crushing his fingers when Darcy and Irene loaded their plates with small strudels in the shape of Christmas trees with green and red icing. He smiled at her and she relaxed a little with a small, defeated nod.

"I know, it's only one day..." She sighed.

"Told you you'd be the best Mum." He whispered. "Besides, you know you want one too. So do I."

Her eyes sparkled when she looked back at him, and he had a quiet word with Luna about making a take-home plate. Luna was pleasantly surprised and more than happy to conjure a plate for him to take home, and stuffed it with fairy cakes, strudels, bacon and cheese pinwheels, biscuits, savoury scones, tiny fruit pies, and turkey-with-gravy pastry puffs.

"Thanks Luna, I appreciate it." Harry gave her a quick hug and a grin. "Been looking forward to your cooking for weeks."

"See?" Neville smiled at his wife, "Told you you were a great cook. Brilliant potioneer, intrepid explorer, fantastic cook, and all-round wonderful witch." He paused to kiss Luna as he filled his own plate, and winked at her when she pinched his behind.

Gwen giggled and raised her fist at Luna. "Take him! Own him!"

The adult witches all laughed together while the wizards just ate lunch with a smug grin.

"I want to do this again before February." Luna said as she sat next to Neville on the loveseat and bit into a turkey-gravy puff.

"We could have a January pool party." Rynard suggested. "Rhydian would love to see all the kids about."

Gwen bit her lip for a second and kissed his cheek with a smile. "Dad would  _adore_ that. Love you."

Rynard smiled back and put his arm around her and fed himself with the other hand.

"How is your Dad?" Luna asked Gwen.

"Improving, thankfully. San Diego definitely agrees with him. He's taken up golf and lost about two stone."

"Brilliant! Well done him then." Neville grinned. "Glad he found something he likes to do."

"Done wonders for his disposition as well, being in a place where Magical and Muggle are side by side everywhere. He didn't realize the kinds of basic assumptions he had about Muggles until he was in a crowd and gawking at everything in downtown Los Angeles." Gwen grinned.

"Speaking of which, we ran into friends of yours there." Rynard added. "George and Angelina opened a Wheezes branch in Los Angeles."

"Really? Good for them." Harry smiled. "Been forever since we even talked to the Weasleys."

"Molly and Arthur were completely shamed by Ron and Ginny at the wedding. I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't talk to George or Angie much anymore either. They seemed like they just wanted to hide afterward." Hermione said with sympathy.

"Well we know they don't talk to Ginny much at all anymore." Harry said quietly.

"Oh? How's that?" Neville asked.

"You've seen Ginny? How is she?" Luna asked, her eyebrows drawn together.

"Flense is still our Australian Accounts Manager." Hermione explained, "She and Ginny are in the papers occasionally. After Ginny was fired from the Redcliffe Raiders for being a 'witch's witch'," Hermione made air quotes around the term, "They both went on the warpath to campaign for equal rights. They're both sort of public figures in magical circles down under."

"Wow..." Gwen breathed. "That hasn't worn off in  _seven years_ ?"

Harry shrugged. "It might wear off tomorrow, it might never."

"Mum, Dad, we're finished, can we go play again?" Irene asked from the table.

"Hands and faces washed?" Hermione asked over her shoulder.

"Not yet, Mum." Darcy and Irene answered in unison.

"Alright, go wash up then." Hermione smiled at the look Harry gave her, and tried unsuccessfully to keep one from her own lips.

Rynard got up and helped Summer get her own hands and face washed, then he and Harry cleared the table and did the dishes.

Before anyone wanted it to, five P.M. arrived and forced Harry and Hermione to take their leave.

"We have to do this more often." Luna said as she and Hermione waited by the door for Harry and the kids to pack everything up.

"I would like that. I know Harry would too. It's not so easy to get together anymore." Hermione smiled and hugged Luna. "Did you ever see this coming?" She looked out over the living room, the Christmas tree, the coloured lights, and the children who hugged each other goodbye.

"For me? No. For you and Harry? Absolutely." Luna smiled back and put an arm around her friend.

"I saw University. I saw fighting the stupid politics in magical Britain. I wanted to see Harry, but until that day we went to Diagon for Groceries..." Hermione put her arm around Luna's shoulders as well.

"Would you change it if you could?"

"Nothing. Not a single thing."

"Good, neither would I."

Gwen levered herself off the sofa and came to say goodbye as well. She wrapped Hermione in a hug, then Luna.

"We should be off as well. Next month, the twenty-first. It's a Saturday. Dinner at our place? Come early, lounge about in the pool?"

"Mmm." Hermione hummed. "That does sound nice. I'll have to check the schedule when I get home, I'll call you tomorrow."

"Same." Luna said as she hugged Gwen as well. "Neville is speaking at a conference in January, I'll have to check which weekend it was again."

"I'll take it as a yes. Bring your Dad, Luna, we'll see if my Dad can get him on the golf course." Gwen said with a wink.

Luna laughed. "I would  _love_ to see that."

"It'll probably end with a weekly golf column in the quibbler." Hermione chuckled.

Harry finished packing everything and shrunk the trunk to put it in his pocket, and joined them at the door with Neville and Rynard. Darcy started giving hugs to everyone, and irene followed.

"Thanks again for the takeaway plate." Harry said as he hugged Luna goodbye. "Happy Christmas."

"Happy Christmas, Harry." Luna smiled back.

"Happy Christmas, all." Xeno called from inside with a girn and a wave. Harry, Hermione, Gwen, and Rynard all wished him a Happy Christmas in return. Hermione waved back to everyone as she and Harry and their children walked away from the house.

"Darcy Potter recall recall recall." Darcy said, and vanished.

"Irene Potter recall recall recall." Irene vanished next. Harry and Hermione held hands and looked back at the house while they waved, then they vanished as well.

Harry closed and locked the Portal Room again when they left.

"Did you have a nice visit?" Hermione asked the kids as they walked up the steps to the ground floor.

"Yes!" Irene bubbled, "So much fun handing out presents and playing with Vi and Summer and Gruncle Xeno. I can't wait until Auntie Luna has the baby so there's even more fun people!"

"Darcy?" Hermione twigged to the fact that he was unusually quiet.

"I wanted to hand out presents too." He pouted. "I had fun with everyone, but..."

"I'm sure if you talk to Nana and Granddad tomorrow you'll be able to work something out." She smiled down at him.

"I forgot we get to go to Nana and Granddad's tomorrow!" His eyes went wide.

"Another big day tomorrow." Harry added, "Time two Christmas Elves were in bed."

"Brush teeth, wash hands and faces, we'll be there in a moment to tuck you in." Hermione reminded them, "Off you go."

Both of them simply raced forward and up the stairs to their bedroom.

"Nev's right, their enthusiasm never gets old." Harry put his arm around her shoulders. "We'll get them tucked in, you can have your way with Luna's cooking, and I'll do your feet?"

"Mmm." Hermione pulled him into a long kiss. "Have I mentioned I love you?"

Harry grinned back at her. "Yes, but I never tire of that either."

They tucked the children in minutes later with hugs and kisses, though Darcy and Irene were both nearly asleep by the time they did.

Harry arranged pillows for her on the sofa, brought her tea and the plate full of Luna's treats, and massaged her feet while she ate. When he finished her feet he smiled warmly, his chest suffused with brightness. Hermione was asleep, the plate balanced on her stomach, still half filled with food. A turkey puff with two bites out of it rested on her chest halfway between the plate and her chin.

Harry finished the turkeypuff while he beamed happily at her and put the plate of food in the stasis cabinet.

She roused some as he applied elasticity cream to her skin, just enough to get changed for bed before she pulled him under the covers and snuggled into him.

He brushed her hair back from her face and kissed her forehead while she made contented sounds.

"Happy Christmas, my love." She sighed.

He nuzzled her neck and dropped a kiss there as well. "Happy Christmas, Hermione. Happier every year, thanks to you."

"Mmm." She smiled. "Me too. I love my life. Wouldn't change a thing."

"Nor I, love." He settled down beside her and sighed as the world fell away and left them in their own tiny realm. They relaxed against each other as they slipped into sleep, cradled tenderly in each other's embrace, and all was right with the world.

  
  


The End.

  
  



End file.
